Who is joining (or leaving) today? Matthew is back !

17 Mar

Fire up the old Brentford. Matthew Benham is back. On Twitter that is. Whilst he has already returned after a brief mid-season hiatus, Wednesday saw him teasing us with another spin of the ‘cryptic clue generator’. On a day in which this column bemoaned the Charlton Athletic school of comms, it made a refreshing change to see Matthew at his fan teasing best .

What does it all mean? Of course his use of a video clip is traditionally associated with somebody new coming in to Griffin Park. That said, his clues are as hard to understand and unravel as Claudia Winkleman doing the maths on Countdown. Even when you know the answer.

So what can we learn from this? Is somebody coming in today? Certainly, Dean Smith has been very vocal about his desire to dip into the loan market.But any attempt to translate the sequence has , so far, proved as futile as going into a fierce London derby, away from home, with no strikers in your starting XI.

The clip is the Doctor Knee sketch, from Chris Morris’s series Jam. Soundtracked by Brian Eno, it features actors David Cann & Amelia Bullmore ( best known for playing Sonja,the Ukranian girlfriend of TV’s Alan Partridge  – Don’t get Bond wrong !).

But watching the video for a scripted clue or a lead from one of the main names has, as ever, proven pointless. The only Chris Morris I know, in a footballing sense, is now in his 50s and no longer troubling the good people at Panini.

Then it hit me. What if Matthew has changed his modus operandi and is hinting at something else?   Assuming we aren’t signing a player with an injured knee (when would we ever do something like  that?) this could mean one of two other possibilities.

1 – That Scott Hogan is in line for a recall on Saturday following his well documented stint with the Griffin Park medical team. Has that period officially come to an end? Whilst, surely, too soon might we see him make a cameo from the bench? After all, he has been increasing his playing time for the development squad.

2 – That it may be somebody leaving us. The final scene of the sketch see the patient going through the ‘out’ door. If not the case of Scott leaving the doctor’s surgery, perhaps a departure (player or staff; on or off field) is imminent at Brentford? But who? And replaced by……?

Brian Little in for Rasmus or Phil as co-director of football? A rejig in the comms team? Peter Gilham finally hanging up his microphone?

I can’t see any of those happening and, besides, I’m normally as off target as Nick Proschwitz when it comes to unravelling Matthew’s clues.

Instead, we’ll await any update on Brentford official with intrigue. Then fail miserably to backwards translate


Chris Morris is now past the prime of his 1988 heyday – playing wise

  Nick Bruzon




3 Responses to “Who is joining (or leaving) today? Matthew is back !”

  1. Bernard Quackenbush (@BernardQuack) March 17, 2016 at 12:19 pm #

    Good to hear we have signed someone Leandro Rodriguez on loan from Everton. Does he fit into the sketch? Although this has yet to be confirmed by Brentford comms who im sure will make an announcement in about 3 weeks.

    Looking at Transfermarkt, worryingly he has only scored once in 8 for Everton U21. But he has scored 20 in 78 for River Plate (the one in Uruguay). So he does know where the goal is, but then again so did Lasse, Hoff & Marco before hey joined us.

    Oh and I must have missed Claudia Winkleman being the maths boffin on Countdown

    • Roderic March 17, 2016 at 6:02 pm #

      I wish him well, but the young loanee, will suffer the same problems as the others entering the Championship battleground; why sign a gamble, to get BFC over the line?
      I predict a win for Blackburn, on Saturday. Besotted, are going on about Blackburn, as if they will come and not care, but they are not much apart from BFC in pints; expect a ding dong.

  2. Gordonbankole March 17, 2016 at 7:45 pm #

    So is you saying that both teams is on da lash Rodders?

    Actually, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Given that they’re on the same number of p(o)ints having played one game more, I’d suggest that they would be pretty desperate as well.

    The person on the Beesotted podcast who made most sense was the wonderfully named Ali Mullaley. She gave it big on Ankersen before being shouted down as “we don’t know what his exact role is”; I have a lot of time for the Beesotted boys, but to defend the man who has gone AWOL this year despite big pronouncements in the autumn was a bit bizarre.

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