From Bees to Bristol via Manchester United. Less X factor, more cringe factor

21 May

It’s that time of year. New shirts are being released and, as yet, Brentford are yet to indulge the fans. That’s fair enough although it does leave the kit obsessives amongst us desperate for any nugget of information we can find as to next season’s kit. Whilst looking around the Internet for clues I stumbled across something from Bristol City. And it’s not good. Not good at all. Plus we’ve got part 2 of the Manchester United / X-Men story….

Apologies in advance to any Robins fans who may see this. It is, relatively, ‘old news’ but a story that had eluded me. Likewise, it would seem, the majority of Brentford fans.

City released their new shirt at the end of last month and the design has not been met with favourably. Whilst many fans were hoping for a return of the classic ‘Robin’ badge from the 80s, instead they got hastags. Two of them.

In a triumph of marketing gone mad over sanity, the new Bristol City shirt features the inspirational phrases : #MakingBristolProud and #BristolCity embroidered into each shoulder.

Bristol City shirt

This really is a thing

Nobody needs another lecture from me on football clubs failing to embrace / understand appropriate use of Twitter. Simple utterance of the phrase #Novemberkings should tell you all you need to know about this most cringeworthy of topics.

Yet City have taken it to a new extreme. They’ve woven this most sorry of social media phenomena directly into the very fabric of their being. And it’s awful.

The obvious worry is that other clubs will follow suit. We all know that Brentford have used hashtags (the wonderful #BeeTheDJ aside) with what we’ll politely call less than positive fan reaction in the past. Surely we wouldn’t go this far?

The Last Word art department have mocked up how this might look. Just in case anybody was considering that it might be a good idea.

Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 06.45.49

Could we? Should we? No. Please, no!!

If Mark Devlin, Matthew Benham or Kitman Bob are reading (unlikely, but…) please put us out of our misery. Show us your kits. Please. If nothing else, I wouldn’t mind buying one for the summer holiday.

The other thing to catch my eye yesterday was what has been described as the most embarrassing thing to come out of Manchester United since that security firm had the incident in the toilet.

Following on from Tuesday night’s X-Men crossover, which involved the Old Trafford club body painting their child mascots blue, they’ve gone again. Specifically, with a video described by Telegraph football as: Wayne Rooney acting in an X-Men trailer will be the most cringeworthy thing you see today.

And they’re not wrong. Yet. Yet.Yet, This is so bad it’s actually brilliant. For those who revel in those wonderful moments when the worlds of football and acting collide we now have a new addition to the list.

Of course, nothing could ever top ‘Escape to Victory’ , Luis Figo’s ‘Just for Men advert’ or even the simple act of Eric Cantona raising his collar before sending Nike’s minions back to hell (also Figo, for the record…).

Rooney’s wooden exclamation of “Bloody Hell” isn’t in the same ball park as Cantona’s “Au Revoir” or men like Figo who never give in to grey (“still got it”). But compared to the ‘proper’ actors around him, dreadfully trying to crowbar the names of his Manchester United team mates into a ‘scene’ from the new movie, Wayne comes across with the gravitas of Morgan Freeman.

It’s bad. Very bad. Yet compelling. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s below. But we’ve also got Eric, just to restore some sanity to proceedings.

Wayne – perhaps better picking punditry over acting.

Now THIS is how to act.

And finally, as ever, The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download.  Should anybody want to go over this nonsense and relive these moments once more then you can do so now.

It has been a stunning few years. Here’s to more of the same.  We may have had a few lows (something about a penalty, the football village, the FA Cup, the pitch, the Marinus experiment) but there have been plenty more highs as the Bees made an unexpected challenge for the Premier League.

Thank you again for reading.

Nick Bruzon

push up Brentford shirt

 

 

 

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