Noooo! Fulham have only gone and done it.

17 Feb

Brentford have a day off on Saturday. FA Cup capitulation at the hands of Chelsea (a game where we put in a performance that was very much the Murray Jones to their Dean Holdsworth) sees us now kicking our heels. Just a few miles up the road, however, near neighbours Fulham are in cup action. They entertain Tottenham on Sunday.

It is a game which made me sit up and take notice yesterday, but for a very wrong reason. At a time when Donald Trump is beating all comers hands down in the apparently deranged stakes  (his explanation of what uranium is has me intrigued, yet genuinely terrified, about what his next bit of amateur science might be), he seems to have a rival. The Fulham club shop.

Bear in mind this is the club that has already brought you ‘The Neutral stand’ and ‘The Gin bar’. A club who introduce ‘clackers’  and ‘giant foam fingers’ to try and help the home fans generate some atmosphere. Then, of course, there was that business with the Michael Jackson statue. Yet even by their previously odd standards, they have now gone ‘full Trump’.

What is the most scorned thing about modern football? Tourists on a day trip to Chelsea or Old Trafford? Grown men in full kit on a match day ? ‘Hilarious’ shirt names (I 8 Spurs etc  I don’t, for the record)? Selfie-sticks?

All are bad and yet one thing still transcends them all. The half and half scarf. There is no logical reason as to how this has sprung up or why any football fan of sound mind would buy one. Who wants memorabilia celebrating another team? Who wants to wear the opposition colours? Let alone in this most happy-clappy of styles? Over priced and cheaply produced tat. Something so offensive that no self-respecting club has even embraced previously. Up until now these abhorrent items have only been available from the street hawkers.

Up until now being the key phrase. Because, of course, Fulham have stepped forward. With this. Officially. In their official club shop.

screen-shot-2017-02-17-at-05-49-57

I may be late to this party but I don’t care. Irony goes full circle as Fulham break the fourth wall. Get your official half and half scarf. This has to be a joke? Surely? Would any self-resecting club really do this ?

Part of me hopes that Matt Jeffrey is just a fake twitter ID, playing a very long game in order to spoof the hapless Cottagers. Yet with over 1500 tweets already, and seemingly all the right credentials, he looks legitimate. And he is encouraging his Fulham fans to wear a Spurs scarf. Or, at least, half of one.

You know what, I hope they win. Genuinely. For no other reason than one can’t even begin to imagine what their marketing team will dream up for the quarter finals.

Half and half shirts, here we come….

Nick Bruzon

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8 Responses to “Noooo! Fulham have only gone and done it.”

  1. Mark Hardy February 17, 2017 at 8:19 am #

    Take it you didn’t get your Brentford/Chelsea half and half at Stamford Bridge then Nick?
    Shame on you!

    • nickbruzon February 17, 2017 at 8:42 am #

      I’d rather watch Fulham

      • peter lumley February 17, 2017 at 9:45 am #

        If you had bought a half and half scarf at the Bridge we might have been able to halve the score i.e. 2-0 from 4-0 ! Shame on you,Nick!

      • Mark Hardy February 17, 2017 at 10:46 am #

        …than the Bees at Chelsea? I agree.

  2. Bernard Quackenbush (@BernardQuack) February 17, 2017 at 11:52 am #

    How unbelievably embarrassing! I genuinely cannot believe they would put this in the club shop.

  3. Gordonbankole February 17, 2017 at 6:50 pm #

    Dear All

    You’d never get people in important positions at BFC wearing half and half scarves. This makes me very proud.

    Regards

    Gordon

  4. Gordonbankole February 17, 2017 at 9:19 pm #

    Sorry BQ. Had clearly forgotten that one (not).

    Maybe a Rasmus half and half scarf (his face over both badges) might go some way towards healing the rift.

    I’ll get my coat…

    Regards

    Gordon

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