Fulham jump the shark, West Bromwich Albion go classy and Brentford get ready to go. Again.

3 Aug

This time tomorrow Brentford fans will be waking up and looking forward to a visit from Rotherham United. Stranger things have happened. We’ve news of an old boy which, whilst great for him on a personal level, has seen a new low in social media hashtag use. Newsflash: it wasn’t us! Even if we should be worried by Swansea topping up their bank account. And with the season upon us Blackburn Rovers and West Bromwich Albion have released their respective away/third shirts. It would be fair to say that there is a marked contrast….

First up, as ever, Brentford. There’s not much more we can say about Saturday’s clash with Rotherham. The good news, at least on the surface, is that Ryan Woods is part of our squad. When the numbers were announced yesterday, there he was at number 15. Dean Smith used his pre-match press conference to note that: “There is speculation with Ryan Woods around bids which we have had. He was a little bit stressed about that, hence him being off for a couple of days but he was back today”.


Dean doing his press conference thing on Twitter. Flip flops optional

No surprise there, given all the rumours that had been circulating about Swansea although one does have to fear for the player’s future at Griffin Park. Bid confirmed as in and the quantifying statement then made that, “Players come in and players move on; that’s just the way the football world works. The stability we have within the club helps with those transitions. We feel there’s a calmness about the place.”

Take from that what you will. As noted in the previous column, I’d love Woodsy to stay. The flip side being that should he and the club decide the future does lie elsewhere, then it will just have to be case of putting faith in the decision made. On the plus side, Neal Maupay is back in training although not confirmed as to whether he will be available for selection as yet. Certainly, it came over as Dean keeping his cards close to the chest and saying lots whilst telling us nothing. Roll on 2pm and that first team being named.

Next up, Fulham. Specifically the news that they have signed former Bee Alfie Mawson from Swansea for a fee that could rise to as much as £20m. Hmm, now what might they do with the spare cash…? In terms of a signing, you can’t knock the talent. We all know how well Alfie has done since leaving Griffin Park for Barnsley whilst last season’s performances were one of the standouts of an otherwise woeful season for his former employers. Indeed, they saw many calling for him to be included in Gareth Southgate’s World Cup squad.

Whilst I would, perhaps, draw exception to his observation that “Over the moon to have signed for such a big club and very grateful for the opportunity” one can’t deny that Fulham are in the Premier League (for now). Even if Neal Maupay did his very best to destroy that dream. Yet it wasn’t that which really drew the eye but a new level of cringe in the hashtag front.

We all know clubs use these with varying levels of success. Usually none. Whilst our own #BeeTheDJ is a perennial favourite, we’ve also fallen wide of the mark on many occasions. Copy/paste standard paragraph about: #trophyfriends #bignewambitions #novemberkings. Urghh, trophyfriends.

Likewise, I still have to surpress the bile at the thought of Newcastle United and their own adoption of #JoinTheRafalution when our own paths crossed the season before last.

Yet all of these fade into insignificance compared to the latest entrant to the hall of hashtag shame: #TotallyMawson . Just to clarify, that’s #TotallyMawson.  Why? What? Where’s the vomit emoji?

Again, no reflection on the player. Quite the opposite. I think he’s a wonderful talent. But from the club that brought you: The Neutral stand, clappers, ‘that’ statue, foam fingers, the gin bar and run out music – for the warm up, we now have another entrant to the pantheon of awfulness that is the Craven Cottage fan engagement bureau. Anything but totally awesome, dude. The sound of grown-ups trying to be down wiv da kidz.


Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! A great signing but a new low in hashtags 

From the awkward to the awesome. New season kits. Whilst I’ve done our brown/orange away to death now, it has been interesting to see other clubs releasing theirs over the summer. I’m not going to overly elaborate on the subject for now – if for no other reason than the club have given yours truly a second series of ‘Park Life’ in the match day programme. Amongst the topics under discussion in the Rotherham United edition include the best/worst of the sartorial runners and riders in the Championship.

Large-2However, two clubs have snuck their latest entries out very much under the radar and at the 11th hour. Blackburn Rovers have launched an away kit that is just horrible. Bright yellow with black trim and a sponsor’s logo that is about as unsubtle and distracting as the #TotallyMawson hashtag. Totally awful, morelike.

West Bromwich Albion, on the other hand, have gone full retro with their third shirt. And it is an absolute stunner. Simply brilliant. If Brentford have been accused of going back to the 70’s then the Baggies have made no pretence whatsoever. This is full Cyrille Regis. This is incredible.

West Brom third shirt WBA

Great job, Puma. Especially use of the old school badge, too. For the record, something that Bristol City have done on their third shirt with the fan favourite ‘Robin’ badge. Could it perhaps herald a return for our own much loved Castle badge? How about the Funky Bee? Please, the Funky Bee….

Kitman Bob, Kurt, Chief Exec Mark Devlin or even Mr. Benham. If you are reading (unlikely, but…) how about it next time out?

The only downside about the West Brom shirt is the text across the middle. I’m still not sure if that is a sponsor or just a comment about the fan base. Still, it’s a small gripe. Great job. Here’s hoping we see this at Griffin Park later in the campaign.

Finally, we’ve actually had a number of competitors join the Last Word Fantasy Football league that was announced yesterday (not a typo). If you’d like to join in, then the action begins in earnest on Friday. You can sign up here and the league details are below. 

FPL Last Word code

Or if you prefer to copy/paste : 707088-156816

Until then, there’s nothing much else to say beyond the fact that actual football begins, again, this weekend. Bring on Rotherham and see you on Saturday.

I can’t wait ! 

Nick Bruzon


14 Responses to “Fulham jump the shark, West Bromwich Albion go classy and Brentford get ready to go. Again.”

  1. Darren Owen August 3, 2018 at 6:20 am #


    • nickbruzon August 3, 2018 at 6:50 am #

      It’s spelt Bjelland.

    • Diggy August 3, 2018 at 8:53 am #

      Make you right. Sad little man with a sad little club. Embarrassingl

  2. Emmett August 3, 2018 at 7:29 am #

    Enjoy the championship hahahaha #FFC

  3. Paul H August 3, 2018 at 7:37 am #

    Wow, you really have too much time on your hands if a simple, albeit cringe-worthy, #hashtag gets you so worked up.

    As for Fulham being in the PL “for now”, Jesus man get over yourself. The Board has supported Slavisa way beyond our expectations and a promising season hopefully beckons for us. I’m sure I’m not in the minority when I say it would be great if the Bees could get promoted this season and we have two more local derbies next season. To this end I wish the Bees every success for the next 10 months.

    I have supported Fulham since 1981, hence previous to our first stint in the PL we spent a helluva lot more time playing you and Orient than we ever did Chelsea. BUT, Fulham fans simply don’t consider the Bees as our rivals and certainly have no hate for your club. I, for one, admire the way it’s run and the style of football you’ve played in recent years.

    Finally, I’ve known Billy The Bee for 20+ years by virtue of working in the same industry and shared many a social occasion with him in the past, all in good humour!

  4. Ian Stone August 3, 2018 at 8:07 am #

    Even now you cant stop talking about Fulham! So with keeping with the theme of this article I’m going to go with a hashtag… #deluded
    Anyhow…best of luck this season!

  5. Diggy August 3, 2018 at 8:33 am #

    You can smell the envy wafting over from smallbrentford. You really embarrass yourselves with your constant obsession with hating Fulham. Maybe you should bite the bullet and get down and watch a bigger club.you know you want to.

  6. The Grassy Knoll August 3, 2018 at 9:02 am #

    Chapeau to the author for spotting the return of the green and yellow and acknowledging the link back to the days of our beloved CR, (although I suspect the writer never had the privilege of seeing him in action!)

  7. Diggy August 3, 2018 at 9:03 am #

    So you didn’t like Fulham headline ‘Totally Mawson’ ,and you think that’s worth writing about. What an amiture. How about the same headline if smallbrentford sign Danny Shittu. Now that would be funny.

    • The Grassy Knoll August 3, 2018 at 12:25 pm #

      Diggy, what is an amiture? #illiterate

    • nickbruzon August 3, 2018 at 8:10 pm #

      Absolutely it is. You’ve all bitten, again. Just too easy. ‘Amitures’

  8. Wayne August 3, 2018 at 11:37 am #

    Your insecurity is showing, Nick

  9. Rod D August 4, 2018 at 9:29 am #

    Diggy dug a hole for himself.

  10. Moriarty August 5, 2018 at 11:16 pm #

    Bravo, mousiuer “Agent provocateur”, dans un chemise brun et orange, c’est ne pas chic, c’est presents une image de la “Cardinal Cacha”!

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