Somebody call Andie MacDowell. Is this our latest unicorn moment?

16 Dec

Hull City 2 Brentford 0. Another defeat. Two goals conceded in a 9 minute patch. Woeful defending to leave us chasing the game. Possession dominated yet Thomas Frank’s team unable to convert 72% ball retention into anything tangible beyond a statistical nicety. What can you say? It’s all a bit déjà vu. A bit Groundhog Day. I wasn’t there. Can’t comment on the game per se, beyond the highlights package. Yet it all sounds and looks so familiar. And one can’t dispute the fact that we’ve now picked up just four points from the last ten games. That Brentford sit just three points above the relegation places in 19th position. What a cataclysmic tumble over the last two months. Nest week against Bolton Wanderers is going to be Marcus Gayle levels of huge, that’s for sure.

I used that line on Twitter last night. I also used this one: It just feels like TF now facing his own ‘Marinus and the unicorn’ moment. Carry on like this and we’re going to sink without a trace. Is Bolton the iceberg? Can we steer around? Or are we already fatally holed below the waterline?

Screen Shot 2018-12-16 at 10.24.58

Is Thomas facing his unicorn moment?

And to be honest, I’ve genuinely no way or means of answering that question at the moment. One thing’s for sure, this team is not Marinus levels of bad. That was a low that hadn’t been seen since Terry Butcher. At least Thomas has passion. Seems to care. Is still seeing his team play attacking football but not getting the run of the ball. Not getting the breaks. Just totally devoid of any luck in front of goal. Yet equally, when we commit defensive suicide time and again then there has to be a certain acknowledgment of the line that says you make your own luck.

The Hull City goals yesterday could have slotted in to any of our recent horror shows. The second in particular we knew was going to look awful from the audio alone. “Right back Dalsgaard really bad mistake. Goes to kick it. Misses”.   Not my words but the words of Sky Sports. The subsequent video shows it is as bad as it sounds. The first, not much better. I feel for those that went up there for this one on the coldest day of the winter to date. It was never even a possibility of a green card for yours truly and, in retrospect, one I can only thank Mrs Bruzon for enforcing.

Call me disloyal. Fair enough. I love this team and club to bits. I’m not going to pretend I’m enjoying the current situation. I’ve sat through the highlights with Harry today who, after they’d finished, said to me: “Can we watch a different Brentford match? One from last season. One what we won.” I have since corrected his grammar but you get the point. Unlike us yesterday.

I wish. I wish we could play like that. I wish we could play like three months ago. I wish I knew why the wheels have fallen off our confidence. I wish I knew why the defence have been shuffling around like they’ve been suffering from a lack of sleep or bitten by zombies. This tweet alone seemed to sum up our current woes in a nutshell.

Screen Shot 2018-12-16 at 10.25.18

The camera never lies. Nor does the table

So we can all moan. Understandably. We can all jerk our knees and vent spleens on social media. I’m amongst those to do the very same. No hypocrisy here. Some fans are calling for a change in coaching staff and another promotion for King Kev.

I can’t see it happening but at least it’s great that so many have the opportunity to call into question what we see happening. To try and figure out why we have hit self-destruct so spectacularly. Equally, I can’t imagine anybody involved in the club is prepared to throw our Championship status away. Something we’ve fought so hard to not only maintain but actually take the team further.

This is football. Nobody has a right to be good by default. Yeah, that’s one of my stock lines. But it’s true. Just as that fact that stats count for jack if you can’t score goals or keep them out. That’s another.

We can’t change the tactical or positional decisions that happen on the pitch but we can make ourselves heard. Whether its through the likes of social media or more importantly, getting behind the team on Saturday afternoon. It’s a cheesy line but its a true one. This Bolton game will be massive. It’s also one we can win. Categorically. I’m going to continue prodding on Twitter and these pages – when needed. But most of all, come 3pm on Saturday I’m going to be behind this team. Loud.

After surviving so many turgid seasons, the last thing I want is to even contemplate going down now that we’re enjoying some wonderful times. And if it takes Thomas Frank falling in love with Andie McDowell (metaphorically speaking) to get out of this loop, then somebody call Hollywood.

Move over Cameron Diaz, we need a new celebrity fan.


Hasn’t this happened before?

Nick Bruzon

9 Responses to “Somebody call Andie MacDowell. Is this our latest unicorn moment?”

  1. Laurence Cole December 16, 2018 at 11:53 am #

    Something has got to change and change fast. Haven’t seen any team fall this fast down a league table ever in my entire life. A few months ago we were top of the league. Now we’re contemplating the relegation zone.

  2. Moriarty December 16, 2018 at 11:58 am #

    Steve Evans could be available ; pundits may be sniffy , outraged and snobby about him, but he has never been out of work for long – saved Leeds from relegation, real promotion track record, 43.3% career win record, characterful, passionate, difficult, swears a lot, visually singular, but players cant get away with sitting back and spiralling to oblivion. I’m sure he would give the necessary electrical shock to the lumbering frankenstein monster that the BFC team is becoming.

  3. steve b December 16, 2018 at 11:59 am #

    true words spoken well…and i am just hoping that the boo boys don’t give Thomas Frank a bad time come Saturday….he would have been appointed with the consent , if not the initiation , of Matthew Benham , in whom we trust….upset him and Brentford wouldn’t be here to castigate without him..

  4. Dave Washer December 16, 2018 at 1:44 pm #

    I love your blog and value your opinions Nick, but I think you’re being a bit easy on the Danish Mr Bean. He is completely out of his depth. Tactically inept. Keeps picking the wrong players (Dalsgaard over Odubajo, Yennaris over Dasilva). Won’t try anything different. Players not playing for him. Lost the dressing room. Simply not up to the relentlessness of The Championship. It’s not as simple as getting behind them next Saturday. Because even if we win that, we’ll lose the next three. Only one thing will keep us up. And that’s getting rid of Franks but no Frank’s now. That’s not moaning. That’s not being disloyal. That’s paying my money, having my say and caring deeply about the club we all love.

  5. Bernard Quackenbush (@BernardQuack) December 16, 2018 at 1:58 pm #

    Does anyone now actually expect us not to lose? Yes, we are that bad. I even contemplated the trip to Hull, but then looked at myself in the mirror and told myself a 10 hour round trip to see us inevitably lose and put in a woeful defensive display and be £100 lighter is actually rather silly.

    The media are now highlighting how we concede goals in clusters. Pointing out that there must be a lack of experience and possibly leadership. Nail on head. Leadership both on and off the pitch. We are just drifting aimlessly to relegation and Frank has not the faintest idea how to deal with it.

    His team selection yesterday, still says to me he has not made the step up from coach and friend to the players, to the man in charge. Still picking his countryman Dalsgaard, for some reason still picking Nico who looks far from Championship standard now, and for some reason leaving Judge out of the 18 all together, when for me he should be one of the first names on the teamsheet, given his experience, determination, energy and willingness to move the ball forward, rather than sideways.

    I have not seen anyone online now saying that Frank needs more time. Every man woman and child are paraphrasing Lord Sugar and saying, he is a nice fella but it is with regret that he should be fired. What we need is a bastard in charge not a nice fella. We are now in a fight for survival and we dont have the players for a fight. Its like one of those cliched war films, bringing someone in to turn a bunch of misfits into a positive, determined and strong unit, ready for the battle.

    • Dave Washer December 16, 2018 at 2:15 pm #

      Spot on. He needs to go and he needs to go this week. Another week on the training field will achieve nothing. He has no clue and he’s lost the dressing room. Get rid of him tomorrow and put King Kev in charge until January and see how it goes.

  6. Brighton Bee December 16, 2018 at 11:56 pm #

    I’m with Mr Quakenbush, I have raised the issues of leadership and physicality many times and still the Chuckle Brothers and the Coach don’t seem to want to tackle the problem. Unless there is something we are not privy too, how the hell could he leave Judge out yesterday plus Dalsgaard has looked in need of a rest for weeks. Why doesn’t he play Moses there or better still, Josh Clarke! He appears to be a decent guy but I fear to hang onto TF much longer will lead to a mess we won’t be able to get out of.

    • Nigel Garrigan December 17, 2018 at 8:41 pm #

      Why has Frank still got a job at Brentford? I’m pretty sure that most of the supporters who turn up every week and who did their job like Frank, wouldn’t be able to turn up anymore – because they would have been fired for being being utterly useless and incompetent. How Low can we go? Frank Out.

  7. Jay December 17, 2018 at 1:31 pm #

    This blog is no fun anymore! All the talk of walking the Championship, having the best team in the league and competing (not just making the numbers up) in the Premier League used to give me a right laugh, but now you’ve reverted back to the normal Brentford it’s just no fun. Hurry up and win a couple!

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