England expects as Brentford awaits. Plus your chance to create radio gold.

This is it. The World Cup has been going for almost a week but today is the day. The one we’ve been waiting for. After all the anticipation we finally get our glimpse of what is to come.  The Brentford FC away shirt launch. And over in Russia, England begin their campaign with a game against Tunisia in Volgograd. Yet with Germany going down to Mexico and draws for those others teams named as pre-tournament favourites – Spain, Argentina and Brazil – is this one another giant potato skin waiting to be slipped up on? Plus I’ve a very special radio related Twitter ask that will take you five seconds to help with but could provide audio gold.

First today, the Brentford away shirt. There’s not much can be said at present, given the club haven’t released any images beyond a teaser photo that (unlike last season) has so far defied all manner of photoshop manipulation. So instead, it’s a case of having to wait until 10am when we get our look at the 2018/19 second choice kit. Not forgetting the goalkeepers, either.

All we know so far is that as happened two years ago, the fans have been involved in the photo shoot. Along with the current squad and some former heroes. David Hunt has already appeared (confusing many of our younger supporters) whilst I gather we may also see Marcus Gayle at some point. Beyond that though, your guess is as good as the supporter next to you. This one really has been kept under wraps. See you back here at 10am for first thoughts.

David Hunt – the biggest come back since Lazarus

Next up, the World Cup. England expects and all that. But does it? The build up to the tournament has been as relaxed and low key as I can ever remember. There don’t seem to have been the wall-to-wall adverts, cheesy player–promos or petrol station squad coins to get us excited in the build up as we’ve had in previous camapigns. Quarter finals at best is the general expectation for England and, as such, it really seems to be a case of pressure off. From there, anything is possible.

I can’t tell you too much about Tunisia beyond what I’ve seen in my son’s (definitely his) Panini sticker album. The BBC fact page tells us that they qualified undefeated, have lost only once this year (a 1-0 defeat against Spain) and will likely be hard to breakdown. So a journey into the unknown for many of us although you be sure Gareth Southgate will have done his homework.

With the team already picked, all you have to do is get in for 7pm, switch the TV to BBC and pray that Mark Lawrenson hasn’t been selected for punditry duties. The only other down side about tonight is likely to be ‘that band’. Yesterday’s article and survey has produced an interesting reaction on Twitter, whilst the vote is clearly leaning one way – although perhaps not as heavily as one might have expected. There’s a few hours to go if you want to go for it.

The Telegraph reports that the #England Supporters Band are going to be allowed to bring their instruments into the ground for the #WorldCup. Is this a good thing?

— Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon) June 17, 2018

Ok – my next twitter ‘ask’ involves the radio. Any regular reader to these pages will likely be aware that it is generally tuned to Absolute Radio in our house. Likewise, former breakfast show host Christian O’Connell played a key role in the ‘Is Cameron Diaz a Brentford supporter?’ reveal a few years back. That was then. This is now. The OC has moved to Australia and his co-host Richie Firth is due to start a brand new ‘Home time’ show with Everton fan Andy Bush in September.

I say brand new. One feature is in the pipeline to follow Richie – his 6.50am ‘Hitler’s Toilet’. Something both intriguing yet, at times, awful. But awful in a ‘so bad its good’ style. Think Nicolas Cage in ‘Drive Angry’.  Always compelling, it is radio gold.  A chance to pick up on a ’water cooler’ moment of a story that the mainstream media are yet to run with. Usually for good reason. Anything from mundane top-tens put together by companies desperately flogging their wares to the latest sighting of over-sized rats living in the sewers or some scientific breakthrough such as the imminent arrival of flying taxis.

Whilst I appreciate I’m not doing this justice, hearing is believing. 10,000 Retweets saves the feature. Please. Do me a favour. Click the below, share the tweet and save the toilet.

The boss said (in the pub) that if this tweet gets 10,000 RTs, he'll let @richiefirth bring his ‘Toilet’ feature to the new Hometime show with @bushontheradio in September.

You know what do… pic.twitter.com/vnkjVJmJf9

— Absolute Radio (@absoluteradio) June 13, 2018

And finally, I just wanted to offer a HUGE thanks to all those who have downloaded one of the season review e-books to date. With all proceeds raised going towards the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust, I can’t say how grateful I am to our fans. Don’t forget also that if you do this before the end of June, I’ll put you into the draw to win an exclusive ‘third’ shirt given to me by a source close to the club – just DM / tweet me your download confirmation mail so as I can add your name.

Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Pinch yourself at just how far we have come in such a short space of time.

Nick Bruzon

From Cristiano to Henrik via Rio. And more shirt news…

Ruddy hell – the World Cup ! Just where do you start? Having been upstaged in the Champions League final by Gareth Bale, Cristiano Ronaldo stuck it to his Real Madrid team mates in some style last night as Portugal drew 3-3 with Spain in a game that, on a personal note, also served as a timely reminder of yours truly briefly dabbling with Manchester United. In the loosest sense. Elsewhere, today sees the magnificent four game spread that also offers Brentford fans a chance to catch our man in action. Henrik Dalsgaard and his Denmark team face off with Peru on a day that sees games running from 11am right through to the conclusion of Croatia-Nigeria around 10 pm tonight. And on a Brentford note, there’s also shirt news imminent. Monday is the day….

First up, Portugal. Specifically, Ronaldo. He’s a genius. Pure and simple. So consistently incredible. Never failing to pull it out of the bag when it counts. Even the most churlish amongst us could only sit back and admire what he did last night. Even with the posturing, the preening and the strutting around like a coked up peacock. Despite all this, the sheer audacity of the man and his ability with a football still shone through. It was a performance that would have had Alan Partridge foaming at the mouth. That was liquid football and then some. Sheer brilliance.

GOAAAAALLLLL!!! AMAZING FREE KICK BY CRISTIANO RONALDO!!! WOW! pic.twitter.com/0YvM2KNAdc

— FIFA World Cup (@WorIdCupUpdates) June 15, 2018

The one down side to all of this was Rio Ferdinand in the BBC studio. It’s impossible not to like Rio. A legend for his country and a quite remarkable human being given the personal situation he’s been through. He always talks passionately about the game and with enthusiasm. Yet therein lies part of the puzzle. He doesn’t half go on about it. Clanggggg, The sound of another name being dropped. If he mentioned that he’d played with Ronaldo once he must have done it a dozen times. Nutritionists. Training. Manchester United. Fergie’s opinion. At home with Cristiano. We had it all.

There’s form here. Back in Brazil 2014 it was the same. Manchester United this. Manchester United that. I didn’t realise he’d won the Champion’s League. If only somebody had said.

Who could forget Rio, in Rio? World Cup 2014

Of course an ex-player is going to draw on their experience. That’s only natural and, to be fair, helps paint a picture of what we see going on. It gives an insight into something we might not have visibility of in the normal course of events. Just perhaps tone it down a little bit. Please. The past is great but there’s very much a present going aswell with a quite ridiculous game of football being played out last night. I’d love to have heard more about that. Not just from Rio but the panel where much of half time was devoted to features about England rather than dissecting the first half and the earlier games where those of us just coming in from work would likely have missed.

The brilliance of Ronaldo also detracted from two quite delicious goals score by Spain. Diego Costa levelling thing ups at 1-1, executing a wonderfully hit shot after holding off two defenders for what felt like an eternity. Yet it was nothing compared to the sweetest of volleys that Nacho fired home to give Spain a 3-2 lead. Rio and the panel were rightly purring about this one afterwards as the Spaniard wrapped his foot around a rising ball to swerve it hard and low past the ‘keeper and in off the post from outside the box. It was a stunner. A thing of beauty. To quote Partridge once more, He must have a foot like a traction engine.

And then Cristiano stepped up to score ‘that’ free kick and steal all the headlines with just minutes left on the clock. Whatever else you may think or say about him, and many have, there’s no denying he certainly has a sense of occasion   

With a free kick given in the heart of Saunders territory, there was an inevitability about what would happen next. Sure enough, he lifted it up and over the wall before it dipped into the back of the net. Yet in a moment of clarity, I knew it would happen. I’ve been there before. Ten years or so back I spent an 18 month secondment up in Manchester. For a Brentford fan, this was great. The likes of Bury, Rochdale, Stockport County and Accrington Stanley (never have I been so cold at an away game) were all on the doorstep. As was Old Trafford.

There were no split loyalties here. Aside from the fact the chances of our paths crossing were slim to zero, I was on tourist duty. Doing it for the love of football. Whilst weekends would see me in London and at Griffin Park, a Tuesday night would quite often afford one the chance to take in a local game. And with so many United season ticket holders living down South and unable to make it, there was usually a spare going around the office. Why not? It was that or watch Coronation Street.

One such was the game against Portsmouth. A 2-0 win for United but more importantly, once which provided a moment that stuck with me since. Cristiano Ronaldo scoring ‘that’ free kick from last night. Ten years earlier. It looked incredible then. It still does. Last night’s effort was a reminder of just how consistently good he has been throughout his career. To still pull tricks like that out of the bag even now. And at 33, I’d imagine there’s a few more of those to come.

Cristiano has done this before..

That was then, this is now. Waking up on Saturday morning, it’s his name all over the radio. He’s the one making the headlines on the sports pages. But tomorrow could it be Henrik Dalsgaard we are reading about?

I can’t wait to see our man in action. For those of us who are a bit longer in the tooth it’s quite ridiculous. The thought of Brentford having a player at the World Cup is bonkers. But I love it. If only because it shows just how well our set up and transfer model is working. Despite the confusion and frustration at times. Despite the short term heartache of that summer sale. Here is the proof. Likewise, Andreas Bjelland was desperately unlucky to miss out. Panini even going so far as including him in their World Cup sticker book.

Good luck today, Henrik. If you are reading (you aren’t) know that this little corner of West London will be cheering you on. I’ll watch as much of the World Cup as possible anyway. Yet now there’s even more incentive. Roll on 5pm.

And finally, Monday is the day. Yes, England are playing but in our house it’s something even more exciting. The Brentford ‘away’ shirt is launched. We’ve already had the sneak peak pic released this week. Now, we’re just 48 hours away from seeing this for real.

I can’t even begin to speculate what this is going to look like. I’ve run it through photoshop, played with the light settings and filters but it’s giving nothing away. Instead, we’ll just have to sit back in anticipation and await the reaction. I’ve got a feeling this is going to be interesting though.

David Hunt – the biggest come back since Lazarus

And finally, I know I bang on about this a lot but my season reviews containing the least bad of the columns and some new content are now available for download.

The reason I bang on about this is because all proceeds raised are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. We all know about the great work they do whilst my own son has now started Saturday morning football training at one of their sessions. And he loves it. As such, I’d love to try and do something in return.

As additional incentive, I’d like to give one of you this ‘unavailable to the general public’ Brentford FC third shirt from 2017/18. I’ve got hold of it from a source close to the club and am giving it away to one supporter by means of a draw. All you have to do is download the 2017/18 season review (or the five-year compendium) to enter the draw that will take place at the end of the month – just DM/ tweet me the download confirmation email by June 30^th and we’ll pick a lucky winner.

You can download Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18 . In addition, all five seasons of the Last Word (previously available individually) have been bundled together in one giant volume. There’s a lot to plough through… There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 is also available.

THANK YOU

Nick Bruzon

 

 

 

Kit news? Some news? Natalie aces the World Cup podcast and YOUR chance to shape Lionel Road.

Saturday morning. Something’s happening. For any Brentford fans up early then 9am is the time; the official website is the place. But what is it? What’s happening? Is it kit or a new player? Please be kit. For those England, Denmark fans (and beyond) we’ve a double World Cup latest for anybody wanting something a little bit different to the usual ‘fantasy football’ and podcasts. And there is stadium news as the Lionel Road plans continue to take shape.

First up, Twitter. Fan engagement manager Ryan Murrant set tongues wagging on Friday morning when he casually dropped the bombshell, “Oh and kit news is coming real soon…” into our social media feed.

What??? Where? When? Real. Soon. Define either/both. Please. The response was a GIF. Not quite meme levels of social media offences but acceptable enough if it gives this obsessive a kit related clue. But what does a calendar rushing through the early days of June mean?

Will that be when we our given our first snippet? The start of Mark Devlin’s now traditional strip tease routine. Or is it a full reveal? Will the point that the GIF stopped looping around (the 10^th/11^th seemingly the last clear dates) prove significant? Is that when we’re given the news, whatever that is, or did Ryan’s graphic just signify a broader date of ‘June’?

Was he talking about Leicester City (given Brentford weren’t, actually, mentioned). Might it be the addition of Kit Symons to the coaching staff, as one Twitter wag noted. As yours truly over-analyses his tweet in a desperate search for clues one thing’s for sure –  with other clubs now in full sarotial flow, our own news can’t come quick enough.

I woke up this morning (du du du du duhhh) to more twitter news. This time from Brentford official. A late night tease and a Matthew Benham style video with the promise of even more news. Has Ryan’s news been usurped? Is this something different? Just what is going on? One things for sure, 9am Saturday morning promises to see our computer logged on to brentfordfc.com

😏 See you at 9am tomorrow Bees fans… pic.twitter.com/EmpLIesmuC

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) June 8, 2018

Sitting here writing this nonsense I’m being kept going by Bees super fan Natalie Sawyer. Metaphorically speaking. With Russia 2018 almost upon us, The Times have launched their own tournament podcast, The Game World Cup daily.

We all know Natalie’s talent when it comes to hosting, presenting, chairing and talking football in general. Likewise, what happened in the last few months.

Supported by an extremely knowledgeable panel of Gab Marcotti, Henry Winter and James Gheerbrant, it’s a compelling listen. There are the views on what to expect from Russia as a host nation – especially for the England fans. The hopes and chances of the more favoured teams. Who will get through the knockout phases? What about England? Brazil? Germany? Lionel Messi and his Argentina side? Have Belgium under prepared or are they simply untested? Dark horses that nobody can get a proper read of?

With the promise of a new episode to come every matchday evening after the final whistle has blown, the opening preview has me hooked. I love the World Cup anyway but this additional insight is a very welcome partner to my Panini sticker book and wallchart. With Sky Sports loss very much The Times gain, bring on the next episode. You can find it here. Great job, Natalie. And team.

Next up, predictions. We’re all experts when it comes to calling the games. Obviously. The only reason I’m not a betting millionaire is because I only use the internet gambling sites for research purposes. That, and the prospect of being lured in by Ray Winstone’s disembodied head, responsibly or otherwise, is as distasteful a thought as a night out with Mrs Brown and her boys (I would also accept: The England supporters’ band).

Yet hope is at hand. Hashfootery is back. The simple prediction game where the most you can lose is your sanity as you try to predict the scores of group games and beyond. The most you can win, the acclaim aside, are some quite magnificent beer glasses.

But its not about the prizes. Its about the chance to demonstrate what we know about football – albeit I’ll take any guidance Natalie and her team can offer. If you fancy a go then you can enter here for free.

Enter today and win a prize (stickers not included)

Getting back to Brentford, did you see the Lionel Road news on the official site yesterday? YOUR chance to be involved in the stadium planning committee and help shape our future home. This is incredible. Having sat in on some of the meetings already, I can’t stress how involved the club are looking to make this. How much of a supporter driven effort this is becoming.

Yet with everything from Farewell to Griffin Park, through ticketing, seating and even things such as catering up for discussion – you must have athought on one of these? Surely? If so then ‘official’ have all the details of how fans can get involved.

Lionel Road is well under way

And finally, I just wanted to offer a HUGE thanks to all those who have downloaded one of the season review e-books to date. With all proceeds raised going towards the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust, I can’t say how grateful I am to our fans. Don’t forget also that if you do this before the end of June, I’ll put you into the draw to win this exclusive ‘third’ shirt – just DM / tweet me your download confirmation mail so as I can add your name.

Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Pinch yourself at just how far we have come in such a short space of time

Nick Bruzon

Rashford, Welbeck and Bush nail it after horror scare in horror show.

We’ll keep this brief today. Whilst this column is normally pointed towards Brentford and the Championship, with the World Cup approaching looming as large in the calendar as Mrs Browns Boys on a Saturday night TV schedule (although hopefully something we actually want to watch) , then its only natural we’ll look at what is happening in and around the tournament. With England playing their final warm up game last night at Elland Road, against Costa Rica, what better place to start than the home of Leeds United?

England won. 2-0. You can’t ask for more than that.  As any regular reader to these pages will know, we don’t do match reports. Today is no different. Moreso because by the time that Danny Wellbeck had made it 2-0, I’d long ceded the remote to Mrs. Bruzon. Rather than listening to Hoddle spouting his usual twaddle, it was a case of having to put up with somebody named ‘ballbag’ spouting sub-Glenn levels of inanity on TV’s Love Island. The frizzy haired himbo looked like the sort of bloke who’d bring a guitar to a fresher’s week party and was just as irritating .

I’m not a Love Island fan, for the record. Quite the opposite. Indeed, Mrs B. is under no illusions that once the tournament proper starts then there’ll be no switching over. Kirsty and Phil can do one. Holby City can gather dust. Marcella and Doctor Foster may aswell just go to the pub and get involved in the action.  Yet last night was a final, almost symbolic gesture that it’s not all about football in our house.

As such, I did miss the aforementioned goal. I did miss England win. More alarmingly, I missed the latter stages of the game and thus woke up to the news that Ian Smith was trending on Twitter. Noooooo. Had the man best known as playing TV’s Harold Bishop died as we slept? Ohh, Madge.

Thankfully not. The Erinsborough Times obituary column can remain quiet for another day. Instead, it was just some apparent hilarity around the name of Costa Rica’s final substitute. And relax. There’s still time for a fifth return to Ramsey Street for Harold.

The real Ian Bishop – not with the angels yet

The other reason I handed over the remote was a more ominous one in regard of things to come. I’ll spare the regular rant at this juncture. Again, regular readers will know what comes next whilst we discuss the subject ad-nauseum in my latest e-book There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 which I’d love if people could download. Not for me but its for a GREAT cause with all proceed received going to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. (There’s also the slimmed down Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18 for long suffering readers that may have the previous volumes).

Subtle as a brick

Quite rightly, people are talking about the potential negatives in Russia. Hooliganism. Racism. Glenn Hoddle’s punditry. Yet, please let’s not forget about ‘that band’. Yet instead of more diatribe about the moribund parping and flaccid renditions of jingoistic greatest hits from this bunch of cuckoos in the nest, I thought we’d let Twitter speak. Specifically, Absolute Radio DJ and Everton fan Andy Bush.

Of course, there are numerous posts in regards to the supporters that nobody seems to support but, for me (Clive), this one from Bush seems to sum it up in one hit.

This text I just got off @bplmurphy succinctly sums up how we all feel about the England band. pic.twitter.com/bQ1zH9XJtF

— Andy Bush (@bushontheradio) June 7, 2018

I may not be handing over the remote control next week but perhaps the volume control might get a tweak.

Nick Bruzon.

P.S. And if you would like to read more, please do pick up one of the e-books for Kindle. The BFC Community Sports Trust really is a fantastic cause whilst anybody buying before the end of June goes into the draw to win a limited edition 2017/18 Brentford ‘3rd’ shirt.

(Just please DM me your download confirmation mail so I can add you to the draw).

The top talking points from the World Cup draw (and the small matter of Brentford v Fulham).

Brentford v Fulham. Derby day pt.2. It must be rare for a local game to have been less under the spotlight during the build up as this one. First up, we’ve had the residual bad taste of Monday night’s 2-2 with QPR. Not so much the result as Ian Holloway doing that desperate back pedal after slagging off his own supporters for ‘sneaking out’. And then there was the small matter of yesterday’s World Cup draw for Russia 2018.

We’ll start with Fulham. A win will take Brentford above the Cottagers in the league table and, subject to other results, into the top half of the Championship. I can only call this one as three points for the Bees. Lasse Vibe had two wonderful finishes against the not so super hoops , with the assist from Romaine for the second being something quite special. Sergio Canos showed his class, starting a game for the first time in I don’t know how long. Expect more of the same. Just perhaps, not, the 93rd and 94th minutes.

And if you’d like to read more…. there’s talk about both games in the ‘Park Life’ column that appears in today’s match day programme. Whilst I’d crave your indulgence for that self-promotion it is mentioned more for a sledge hammer like unsubtle link to, erm, today’s match day programme. (#seamless).

With this edition highlighting the ‘Rainbow laces’ campaign (and on that subject, don’t forget to check out the Beesotted podcast this week – below), cover star is none other than Andreas Bjelland. Danish International Andreas Bjelland. The World Cup’s Andreas Bjelland.

This week’s cover star…

Yesterday’s draw saw England line up against Belgium, Panama and Tunisia. A kinder draw you couldn’t have asked for, on paper. Moreso when the two teams who get through will play one of Poland , Senegal, Colombia or Japan in the last 16. On paper, as kind a start as one could hope for. On paper…..

Yet for Andreas, things are slightly different. Whilst there doesn’t seem to be an out and out ‘group of death’, Denmark won’t have it easy agasint France, Austrlia and Peru in Group C. Mind you, I’m sure they’ll all be thinking the same about Denmark in group that Nick Harris ( @sportingintel on Twitter) has noted is the rankings tightest.

Also clear is what Harris declares to be “A clear Group of Life – the Group A of hosts Russia”. I would also accept: ‘The Group of dull’

Along with the hosts it is a pool that features Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Uruguay. Luck of the draw is, indeed, a wonderful and fortuitous thing.

Yet it is a group that also gives us our first chance of that World Cup staple: “For those of you just coming in from work, the score is….. “ Expect that at about 5.17pm on Thursday 14th June during the opening a game. A 4pm kick off between Russia and Saudi Arabia.

That opener is, likewise, a game you can expect to see on ITV. Certainly, if the BBC ‘live updates’ are to be believed.

And talking of the BBC (Nurse, bring me the industrial crowbar) Phil Neville may have been England’s dullest pundit at France 2014 but there was no doubt he was on form during the draw. Robbie Savage sticking his head above the parapet and getting immediately slapped down.

Savage and Neville weren’t the only pundits getting involved. Anybody worth their salt had an opinion. And also Ian Moose. Sadly, there was to be no picture of him and ‘My good friend, Vladimir Putin.’ (Something Diego Maradona did achieve, for the record). Instead, the best Talk Sport’s ‘finest’ could do in that ongoing quest to blow his own trumpet was a snap with Carlos Valderrama.

Other things to look out for will be FIFA no doubt calling the first knockout stage ‘The round of 16’. Like the Fake Olympic terms : Team GB and ‘to medal’ (see also: Wednesday’s column – I’m still thankful for the chance to vent) something that is both wrong and which has been allowed to seep into popular parlance over the last few events. It’s actually the Last 16. I would also accept: The second round.

Have selfie stick, will travel. Brentford fan Billy Grant will be one of many Bees in attendance. He’s already confirmed he will be in attendance. His roving reports providing an wonderful flavour of what happened last time out in France – the great and the not so. Stan Collymore, he ain’t. Expect more of the same this time around (all being well, the great) .

Flights booked. Russia. Here we come 😱

— Billy TheBee Grant (@billythebee99) December 1, 2017

Still, all that’s to come. There’s over six months until we start sticking wall charts to fridges, whip ourselves into a lather of excitement before an eventual quarter final capitulation for England.

Until then, here’s to forgetting about QPR on Monday. There’s a West London derby to win. Fulham are on the way over to Griffin Park. And I can’t wait.

See you there.

And if you need some more listening before kick off, here’s the link to that Beesotted podcast….

Back-to-back west London derbies for #brentfordfc as #Fulham Preview & pub guide includes exclusive chat with @emmajonessport of @BBCLondonSport https://t.co/KQ7SHbW81L #ffc @FulhamishPod @WhiteNoise1879 @HammyEnd @TaylorMod @FriendsOfFulham pic.twitter.com/rDR09dmIv1

— Beesotted Brentford (@Beesotted) December 1, 2017

Nick Bruzon

The good, the bad and the ugly. A week in football as Adam nails deadline day and Jim does his thing

Brentford and Sheffield Wednesday shared the spoils in a 1-1 draw that featured the greatest miss ever seen at Griffin Park. Huddersfield remain top of the pile with 13 points from 15 whilst Newcastle United have begun their slow, inexorable climb to the top of the Championship table having disposed of Brighton at St.James Park.

Erm. Sorry. That was last weekend. International break means there has been no Championship action and so there’s no Monday morning round up of the last 7(seven) day’s action. In a nutshell or otherwise. Still, at least we had the excitement of Sunday evening’s England game. Please note: your definition of excitement may vary etc. etc. etc

Yet in a week that saw Beesotted do it live in the pub and Jim White getting over excited in a TV studio, the arrival of both Deadline Day and the Checkatrade Trophy mean there are still a few things to look back on from the world of social media that you might have missed.

Rather than Brentford, let’s just start with the last thoughts on the new look JPT.

Exeter manager Paul Tisdale names himself as a sub tonight for the EFL Trophy.. Shows what teams now think of this competition

— Adam Virgo (@Adamvirgs19) August 30, 2016

Just when you thought it could not get more farcical pic.twitter.com/CI95Na78h9

— James Young (@YoungyEchoCTFC) August 30, 2016

Norwich u23 play a 28 french striker
.no fine. Luton give 5 english players league debuts-5k fine. Developing english talent #fa

— nickpirie (@hatternick) August 30, 2016

Both teams secure a point following a draw after 90 minutes. There will now be a penalty shoot out for an extra point #twitterblades

— Sheffield United (@SUFC_tweets) August 30, 2016

If that was the new look trophy in four tweets, this next one summed it up rather neatly.

Good luck to those marketing the #EFLTrophy

— Anthony (@antloccc) August 30, 2016

Still, with the Checkatrade Trophy out of the way (quite possibly for all time based on the reaction from supporters) we were free to move on to Deadline Day. The annual attempt by the media to fill 12 hours of dead air with a lot of cutaways to empty stadia and in-studio shouting. One can only imagine what it would do to Jim White if he were to see something genuinely exciting rather than a taxi (possibly containing a footballer) arriving at an otherwise deserted Newcastle United.

These got things off to a good start, though.

Goodbye Ryan Mason, I'll never forget the day I called you the worst player in the Prem to a man who turned out to be you dad.

— Dan Louw (@DanLouw) August 30, 2016

"We are good footballers, Jack" pic.twitter.com/nz14qPinGO

— Michael (@michaeltreasure) August 31, 2016

Even frozen food magnates Iceland (other frozen food stores are available, too) got in on the act with a cheap bit of sledging when it transpired that Jack Wilshere’s future lay not at Arsenal or Roma but, rather, a toss up between Crystal Palace and Bournemouth.

Hi @JackWilshere. Our Bournemouth store is open until 7pm this evening and yes, we do sell Prosecco. We don't stock cigarettes. Thanks.

— Iceland Foods (@IcelandFoods) August 31, 2016

It wasn’t long before Jim appeared on our screens. Although not, perhaps, in the style that many people were expecting. As for that ‘cheeky wink’ to camera….

Throwback to when Jim White presented wedding fairs in Scotland before his big #DeadlineDay movepic.twitter.com/pEjf38Gzi4

— Telegraph Football (@TeleFootball) August 31, 2016

Brentford did some great business. Nobody left and the Alan Judge to Newcastle / Scott Hogan to Hull / Leicester City stories proving to be nothing more than rumours.Whilst Walsall fans were, not surprisingly, left unhappy by our acquisition of Rico Henry it seems they weren’t alone.

Brentford sold us their left back and replaced him with a young quick player with loads of potential. We're a fucking shambles of a club.

— J. (@HoiIett) August 31, 2016

There was equal trouble over at Fulham where, it seems, their signing is done in either a primary school classroom or a dolls house.

Everything is so *cramped* underneath the stand at Fulham (as @richardosman will tell you). Look at poor old Chris. pic.twitter.com/GmQNWKdJT7

— Billy Reeves (@TheBillyReeves) August 31, 2016

But it was none other than Adam Devlin – Brentford supporter and Bluetones guitarist – who cut to the very essence of Deadline Day in one sentence .

All I'm seeing is confused footballers holding up scarves with a look on their faces that says "help me, I don't know how this happened".

— Adam Devlin (@ad_I_am) August 31, 2016

That was the week in Championship football. Of sorts. It’s going to be a painful six days until Saturday and the trip to Brighton comes along for us Bees. Moreso given we’ve got the memory of that England game still hanging around like a bad smell.

So, rather than any more discourse on the trip to Slovakia, let’s look back to days gone by. When a reporter fell off a ladder. Live on air. Although a great save from none other than Jim White…..

CLASSIC: When Nick Collins fell off a ladder reporting on England vs Slovakia.pic.twitter.com/oGJyhE6A5x

— BBC Sporf (@BBCSporf) September 4, 2016

Nick Bruzon 

Plus ça change. After Euro 2016, England continue with the bang average

Slovakia 0 England 1. Three points. And a win. On paper that’s all that Big ‘Sam’ Allardyce could have asked for on his opening game in charge. Yet having stated up front that he’d have been happy with a draw, he was that close to achieving his stated low key level of start to his time in charge of the national team. That may work at Sunderland or West Ham but for England, after their woeful Euro 2016 (and let’s not pretend it was anything but) this was just more of the same.

England won. That’s an indisputable fact . And so often I’ve bigged up the fact that goals are the only thing that count at full time. Yet at a time when the impossibility of qualification failure makes results largely irrelevant, performance is as key as result. And this was nothing but anti-climax.

0-0, 1-0. Forget the scoreline. A draw or a win away to England’s ‘closest rivals’ makes no difference. Failure to qualify from a group including Malta, Lithuania and Scotland is simply unfeasible. That’s not arrogance; that’s fact. Yet that game was, to quote one sofa based observer,  ‘bang average’.

At a time when the best sort of kick back from the Euros was needed, England did everything possible to continue with the uninspirational. Non-chance followed non-chance. Even when Martin Skrtel was eventually (arguably, he should have gone earlier) dismissed, England still flattered to deceive.

It was like watching the cast of American Pie v the cast of Porkys in a race to lose their viginity. There was a lot of bluster, a lot of fighting talk, a lot of huff and puff yet no thrust, no penetration and no scoring. In the end, it was a last gasp stab through the legs as Slovakia’s keeper let Adam Lallana’s poke claim his first England goal. At the 27th attempt .

Instead, after the horror of the summer and Euro 2016 nothing has changed – Glen Hoddle was still there talking bollocks; England were still doing their best to make the mediocre look like world beaters.

Any positives?  Either my TV was broken or ‘that band’ weren’t present. Regardless, that was the only win for those of us watching at home.

We’re two years away from knowing how well England may perform at the World Cup finals. We’re two years away from knowing which of Sunday’s starting XI will even kick off   England’s attempt to lift the trophy.

But, for now, we know one thing.

Huge improvement is needed.

Nick Bruzon