Mrs Brown and her boys model the new Brentford away kit. But what do you think?

Picked your jaws back up off the floor yet, Brentford fans? The away kit has been revealed and it’s fair to see this one is going to split us right down the middle. A so called ‘marmite’ of shirts. One to rival the infamous Coventry City brown or Hull City tiger stripes. A shirt so different to any colour scheme we’ve had before that fans will either cite this as our best ever. Or hate it.

Let’s get this out there right now. I’m in the former camp. Love at first sight.

Mrs Brown and her boys model the new kit

A tweet from Mark Devlin on Tuesday night suggested things were afoot. Friday saw the teaser campaign begin. Then it was here. And wow. The Bees have gone for broke with a colour that apes the aforementioned Coventry City classic on a design that is going to be worn by some of the biggest names in Europe in the forthcoming season.

For somebody who treats the Brentford shirt with an almost religious fervour, I’m most definitely a convert.

In the beginning there was nothing. And Bob said, “Let there be shirt”. And there was shirt.

Now it’s fair to say that perhaps, in hindsight, yours truly got a tad more over excited over the ‘Chelsea blue’ than it deserved. I had a genuine love for the difference that was last season’s green whilst the yellow and black that greeted our first season in the Championship was a stylish classic. For me (Clive) the limited edition black and silver was probably top of the recent pile. But has it been usurped?

On the one hand, this gives a colour scheme that we’ve never had before. On the other, a simple yet stylish effort that is a modern day classic. If ever the club were to come out with something unusual then here it is. Brown and orange with white trim.

It’s different, no question. Controversial?  Possibly. Could it set the GPG and twitter into meltdown? Well, my Geiger counter is currently clicking in anticipation. Yet at the same time, in my humble opinion the backroom team have produced something quite stunning.

Style wise, there’s more than a passing nod to the classic England ‘82 design . Here’s hoping the people at Adidas have had the necessary ‘ok’ from Admiral. Move along, nothing to see there. It is a template that brings the Bees bang up to date with some of the biggest names in European football.  Olympique Lyon and Ajax are amongst those to also adopt the scheme for their 2018/19 home and away shirts respectively.

Lyon and Ajax. #shirtfriends ? I feel so dirty

Let’s cut to the elephant in the room though. The colours. We’ve never even come close to this. Whilst it’s been a while since we’ve had a regular away scheme, if you asked me to nominate what I thought were our traditional colours when on the road then blue (preferably two tone) would be the call. Perhaps with black as an alternate or some form of yellow.

If last season’s flirtation with green was different, this rips up the rule book and dials it up to 11. And I love it. Seeing this cold, the immediate reaction was the 😍 emoji. Having had ten minutes to get used to it, I’m still there. Even the sponsor’s logo seems a tad more subdued than it did on last year’s all green. For me (Clive) that can only be a good thing.

I loved that one, no question. Yet now we’ve reached new heights of sartorial bliss with a colour palette whose immediate connotation is jaffa cakes. Is this a good thing? Well, if it looks good – as it does – then bring them on. It is, perhaps, a shame the marketing team couldn’t get Mcvities to sponsor us rather than LeoVegas.

Mmm. Jaffa cakes

We’ve also changed tack in a direction that suggests Brentford having a set ‘away’ colour scheme is a concept very much residing on memory lane these days.

I’m a great believer in football tradition. Brackets at 7(seven), orange balls in the snow and FA cup semi-finals at a neutral venue. Away kit is different though. The chance to mix things up a bit is always a wonderful opportunity. Can we seize the initiative and make a name for ourselves in the annals of football fashion history?

The recent glut of interest in the Nigeria strip for World Cup 2018 shows just what a love there is for the diverse. Only last week, the BBC ran their own ‘World Cup of football kits’. Something that both showed us the love of the more outlandish creations whilst having the added bonus of denying Fulham fan Richard Osman his own self-appointed role as host of such social media events.

One thing we’ve learned about Brentford and Matthew Benham in recent years is that we do things differently. We do things well. We do things in style.

This is unusual but it is also iconic. Whilst my own takes is that it doesn’t quite overtake the black and silver, it runs it very close. And that can only be a good thing. Hopefully our supporters will think so too.

Now, with the clear word for the away shirt being’ different’, what clues can we take for the home effort?

Come on Bob, Mark and Matthew. Stop teasing us…

Nick Bruzon

Is bruised banana the worst of football’s rotten bunch? Or just unfortunate?

Apologies in advance for a headmasterly (is that even a word?) introduction – we will get to the football shortly. However, it’s all been a bit lively on these pages in the last few days. And by lively, I mean really quite sad – certainly in terms of the commentary being posted by a couple of, alleged, Brentford fans in response to several of the columns and the subsequent opinions of other supporters who had taken the time to write in.

I know things are frustrating on the pitch at present but I’m absolutely baffled by the motivation of these two brave keyboard warriors dripping nothing but poison, schoolyard insults and unquantifiable jibes. Are they really that bored?

Actually, and you may not believe this, it doesn’t bother me personally. I’ve heard a lot worse over the years. But it may upset others. More importantly, I detest bullying and people whose agenda seems nothing but setting out to antagonise or try causing upset whilst hiding behind the facade of a false name and computer screen. Jealousy? Bitterness? Problems at work? Small penis? Who knows?

Regardless, the point remains that any contributor remains welcome. Just please be aware that insulting fellow supporters, accusing them of being a&$eholes (or worse), and making unfounded allegations of racism and homophobia, amongst other things, may well result in such posts being deleted. And I must apologise again for sounding all ’teacher’ but there’s been some pretty desperate stuff these last few days (most of which has now been removed).

But with that out of the way, back to normality. Of course, the International break has caused the cancellation of Championship football for two weeks and, being honest, options are slim for Wednesday night. Personally, I’m fortunate enough in having the Gibraltar v Liechtenstein game to look forward to but, this aside, there is meagre fare on offer.

Even then, the football isn’t a guaranteed. Mrs Bruzon has been threatening to use this perceived gap in the football calendar to catch up on the DVD collection. The thought of having to sit through Colin Firth or Hugh Grant’s greatest hits is one to make even Slovenia v Macedonia seem a more palatable option. The possibility of being force fed the pair’s ‘bumbling romantic’ routine in ‘Four weddings’, ‘Love, Actually’  or ‘Bridget Jones’ (that one’s more Firth than Grant playing the ‘slightly awkward around girls’ role))  is making me queasy.

Likewise, there’s only so much of that nonsense out of ‘Notting Hill’ I can stomach (although if anybody is ever in the area for real, The Porchester has a menu to die for).

Notting Hill – full of drivel. Give me football any day

So, instead, it’ll be a compromise of letting Mrs B. enjoy Hugh whilst yours truly starts work on the next few ‘kit obsessive’ articles for the official matchday programme. But with the Bolton game still two weeks away, there’s plenty of time to get those ready.

As such, I thought I’d look to recreate that column here – as a one time only ‘special’ . And not so much focussing on a specific opponent but, instead, the 91 other clubs that Brentford may find themselves playing subject to promoting or relegation.

With that in mind, just what are the ‘all time best’, ‘the worst’, the ‘classic away’ and ‘the unfortunate design’ amongst football shirts across the history of English football fashion? How do you reduce this down to four shirts and moreso, when the Bees aren’t included (for now).

The answer has to be one of just going with the gut. What is the first one that springs to mind? So without further ado, using no more scientific methodology than my own personal opinion, they are….

The best: Hull City. (made by Matchwinner). Home 1992-1993. Sometimes, words are just not enough. You can only admire the audacity and sheer, unadulterated, genius that saw Hull try to interpret their ‘Tigers’ nickname into the team’s playing kit.

But it wasn’t even discreet – the footballing equivalent of Bet Lynch (kids, ask your parents).

In probably the most iconic of all the Matchwinner designs (and they’re a manufacturer who have had some standouts) Hull went for a full on tiger stripe effect. This was less a subtle nod towards their nickname and more a no holds barred attempt to create one of the most loved/loathed shirts in football history.

Incredibly, Matchwinner’s contract was cancelled midway through the following season and awarded to Pelada. However, with the company refusing to hand over the design spec, their replacements had to produce a new version – a strange, brown affair that was very much the runt of the litter. Then again, how do you top perfection?

The best football shirt of all time

The worst: Coventry City. (made by Talbot Sports). Home 1981- 1984  There wasn’t much that Jimmy Hill didn’t try to innovate in football and his stint as Coventry’s Managing Director was no exception. Indeed, such was his creativity that he made Hull City AFC’s Doctor Assem Allam look like a rank amateur in the rebranding stakes.

1981. Coventry had just announced the football league’s first club sponsorship deal with local car giants, Talbot. Yet in an audacious bid to work around the (then) ban on shirt advertising, Hill tried to get the team renamed Coventry Talbot.

Not surprisingly, this move was rejected so, instead, he simply had a home shirt designed that featured their ‘T’ logo as an integral part of the design. Worse than that, he continued the design onto the shorts. It was immediately banned from television and consigned to football’s home of infamous design.

The worst ever kit?

The classic away: Coventry City. (made by Admiral) 1978-1980  Even now, I don’t know if this qualifies as being touched by the mark of genius or insanity. Whichever, you can’t deny it’s  eye catching.

The Admiral away kit from the end of the 70s shouldn’t work. Indeed, it is often voted as the worst kit of all time in supporter polls. Bedecked in chocolate brown with white piping that continued from the shirt all the way down the shorts, it really is an oddity. Yet one that is so odd it’s stunning. Genuinely . Even that most heinous of kit crimes, continuing the shirt design onto the shorts, somehow works here.

But with the bad also comes good

The unfortunate design: Arsenal. (made by Adidas) Away 1991-1993.  Affectionately dubbed the bruised banana, this mixes the traditional Arsenal yellow with a series of interlocking chevron stripes that make this one seem as though it belongs more at the bottom of a fruit bowl.

Personally, I think this banana analogy has always been a tad harsh If anything, this looks more like a plain yellow shirt that has been run over by a JCB and left a somewhat unsightly tyre print.

Tyre print? Rotten banana?

And if you’d like to read more… over the next month or so the match day programme still has kit obsessive articles to come on Bristol City, Cardiff City, Bolton Wanderers and, of course, Fulham.

Enjoy. Please. And if you don’t, just remember this is only a bit of fun.

Nick Bruzon

What were they thinking? Norwich City defrocked

We’ll crack on with the visit of Norwich City to Brentford shortly but, first, there are a few bits of unfinished business in regards to Monday’s article on the Manchester United – QPR game. Specifically comments around both teams that, quite simply, I ran out of space to include.

First up, Christian O’Connell. The Absolute Radio DJ brought United fans back to earth, aswell as highlighting the state of their opponents, with the astute observation on Sunday that, “Celebrating beating QPR is like jumping for joy when you beat Stevie Wonder at Pictionary”.

And secondly, to a holier place than even national radio – St. Margaret’s Church. It was there, I am told, that the 10.30 service saw a visiting Priest addressing his congregation thus: “Many thanks to the kind Parishioners who took me to watch Chelsea – Swansea. A great game although being from Uganda I am, of course, a Manchester United fan”.

So they’re not all from Surrey, then.

O’Connell takes out both Manchester United and QPR fans with one tweet

And from Uganda to Norwich City. If you want a proper Brentford match preview then (as ever) Beesotted , the BBC or the clubsite are your places.

For the Last Word reader, following the feature before the Brighton game, it’s time for the next in our semi-regular series – What were they thinking? The ‘best of the worst’ / quirkier (delete as applicable) of our visitors’ kits through the ages.

The best : 1988-89 Scoreline. I’ve got personal interest in this one, simply because it is the shirt worn by the Canaries when they reached that season’s FA Cup semi final. Brentford fans won’t need reminding that was the year of Gary Blissett, Manchester City and the quarter final at Anfield where Liverpool did well to eventually edge us out.

A classic, despite the apparent breach of ‘Trade descriptions act’ with the sponsor

The unfortunate design : 1989- 1992 Asics. The plus point is that this one sticks to traditional Norwich City colours of yellow and green. The downside is that the green is less ‘trim’ and more emblazoned over the upper body in a way that, especially on the away kit, puts one in mind of a Waitrose delivery van.

Were the Norwich City club shop expanding their home delivery service?

The worst : 1992- 1994 Ribero. Imagine if your club came up with a great kit design that, after the over indulgence of Asics, got the balance between yellow and green just right. Then, they fed a flock of pigeons nothing but sprouts before allowing them to nest above the final design specs for the team’s latest shirt. This is the result.

Pebble dashed by an incontinent pigeon??

The away shirt : I’ve already mentioned one of these so rather than go for the picnic blanket of the 1993-94 Asics, we’ll chuck in a bonus category:

Retro classic – the Admiral tracksuit. Seen here as sported by Norwich City legend John Bond. If, rather than being a Brentford fan, I’d grown up on the streets of Caistor St. Edmund or Diss in the 1970s I think it’s a fair bet I’d have worn one of these. Probably whilst riding a Raleigh Chopper. Stunning.

John Bond – the king of cool

 

Shirt Heaven or Hell – from the original Doctor Allam

Coventry City visit Brentford tomorrow, with the Bees only a point adrift from the top of League One following a set of recent results which have gone very much in our favour. And with Wolves due to play at Sheffield United in the early kick off, by the time our second half begins Brentford will know exactly how significant three points, should we get them, will be

I’m very much excited about our game and the visit of Coventry City – a side I’ve always had a soft spot for. Growing up in the late 70s they were always a top flight outfit and, very much, a household name.

In my eyes this was as much for their status as some of the more unique kits they sported. Even now, I don’t know if these qualify as a mark of genius or insanity but you can’t deny they are eye catching.

The Admiral away kit from the end of the 70s, in chocolate brown with piping that continued from the shirt all the way down the shorts is often voted one of the worst kits of all time. A tad harsh, coming from decade that fashion is universally accepted to have bypassed.

Is it really deserving of its reputation?

However, it was the 81-84 home kit, that really takes the biscuit as Managing Director Jimmy Hill (yes, him) made Hull City AFC’s Doctor Assem Allam look like a rank amateur in the rebranding stakes.

Coventry had just announced the football league’s first club sponsorship deal with local car giants, Talbot. In a bid to work around the (then) ban on shirt advertising, Hill tried to get the team renamed Coventry Talbot.

Not surprisingly, this move was rejected so, instead, he simply had a home shirt designed that featured their ‘T’ logo as an integral part of the design. It was immediately banned from television.

Hull’s Doctor Allam has nothing on Hill

Getting back to things Brentford related, I’ve used this column to big up our favourite BBC London and sometime Beesplayer man before. It’s here if you want to see it and I won’t overly repeat myself.

However, whilst trawling the interweb this morning I have discovered something (below) which has set my mind racing as to the potential possibilities. Who wouldn’t want a promotional set of postcards, inspired by the sayings of the commentating legend?  We all have our favourites, and no away game to some God forsaken Northern outpost would be complete for Beesplayer listeners without ‘Tea and a wee’ or ‘Our friends at radio’

And whilst the modern day Billy Reeves has an obvious namesake, who would fill the shoes of his versatile companion … the girl with the rubber face?