Bees a Royal pain as Sam abdicates on a night of goals and glory.

After a day where the majority of the footballing world were talking about Fat Sam leaving the England job ‘by mutual consent’ (definitely not sacked. Just to be clear. Not. Sacked) one would imagine that outside of TW8, Brentford thumping Reading 4-1 will quite likely be low on most people’s topics of discussion this morning. Which is a massive shame because the victory, which saw the Bees rise above the likes of  Newcastle United to fourth place in the Championship table, was one to savour.

Even now (Wednesday morning, 6 a.m.), I’m speechless. The questions going in to the game were how would Dean Smith rebuild his midfield whilst, at the same time, countering the perceived attacking threat from a supposedly rejuvenated John Swift? Didn’t they get answered in some style?

To read the rest of this article, season 2016/17 is now available for download on e-book in the retrospective: Welcome Home, King Jota (Brentford FC season review 2016/17)

 Priced at just £1.99, all sales are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

Likewise any sales from the previous titles – Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup (2013/14), Tales from the football village (2014/15) and Ready. Steady. Go Again. (2015/16) – are also now going to the BFCCST. 

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 2016 to May 2017 along with a smattering of new material, you can pick it up, here. Its all for a great cause and,hey, you may even enjoy it…..

Reading’s lurid kit was about as awkward as it got for Brentford

 

View from the terrace – Annette Curran grabbed this one of Daniel doing his thing

 

Maybe a slightly more modest restaurant these days

Nick Bruzon

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Plus ça change. After Euro 2016, England continue with the bang average

Slovakia 0 England 1. Three points. And a win. On paper that’s all that Big ‘Sam’ Allardyce could have asked for on his opening game in charge. Yet having stated up front that he’d have been happy with a draw, he was that close to achieving his stated low key level of start to his time in charge of the national team. That may work at Sunderland or West Ham but for England, after their woeful Euro 2016 (and let’s not pretend it was anything but) this was just more of the same.

England won. That’s an indisputable fact . And so often I’ve bigged up the fact that goals are the only thing that count at full time. Yet at a time when the impossibility of qualification failure makes results largely irrelevant, performance is as key as result. And this was nothing but anti-climax.

0-0, 1-0. Forget the scoreline. A draw or a win away to England’s ‘closest rivals’ makes no difference. Failure to qualify from a group including Malta, Lithuania and Scotland is simply unfeasible. That’s not arrogance; that’s fact. Yet that game was, to quote one sofa based observer,  ‘bang average’.

At a time when the best sort of kick back from the Euros was needed, England did everything possible to continue with the uninspirational. Non-chance followed non-chance. Even when Martin Skrtel was eventually (arguably, he should have gone earlier) dismissed, England still flattered to deceive.

It was like watching the cast of American Pie v the cast of Porkys in a race to lose their viginity. There was a lot of bluster, a lot of fighting talk, a lot of huff and puff yet no thrust, no penetration and no scoring. In the end, it was a last gasp stab through the legs as Slovakia’s keeper let Adam Lallana’s poke claim his first England goal. At the 27th attempt .

Instead, after the horror of the summer and Euro 2016 nothing has changed – Glen Hoddle was still there talking bollocks; England were still doing their best to make the mediocre look like world beaters.

Any positives?  Either my TV was broken or ‘that band’ weren’t present. Regardless, that was the only win for those of us watching at home.

We’re two years away from knowing how well England may perform at the World Cup finals. We’re two years away from knowing which of Sunday’s starting XI will even kick off   England’s attempt to lift the trophy.

But, for now, we know one thing.

Huge improvement is needed.

Nick Bruzon 

 

 

 

After Sunday roast, time for kebabs. Just no umbrellas

The middle Sunday of international weekend. There’s no Brentford result to digest (it’s another 6 days until the trip to Brighton and a week since Sheffield Wednesday salvaged an injury time draw in a game they could have actually won much earlier) whilst the national team are yet to kick things off in anger. Yes, ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce begins his tenure as England manger tonight with the trip to Slovakia after leaving Sunderland in the summer to replace Roy Hodgson.

Can Sam bring a smile to England supporters?

Cue hand wringing about EURO 2016. Talk of a new era. Questions over Joe Hart or the selection of Wayne Rooney as captain. Sly digs about this ’rough diamond’ being a different choice to the normal selections from those suits at FA HQ. And, of course, being forced to listen to ‘that band’.

There’s bound to be mention of Sam’s win ratio at supposedly less illustrious teams  (37.57% West Ham and 29.03 at Sunderland). Although what that proves, I have no idea. Even Roy Hodgson managed 41.94% at Liverpool, for what its worth. And, of course, with that West Ham link there’s bound to be some crowbarred reference to some sort of new stadium. It wouldn’t be a televised football game in 2016/17 without one.

Yes, my ITV cliche bingo card is fully charged and ready to begin crossing off those squares although, being honest, I’m not fully engaged at the moment. The Euros were painful. Dreadfully so. It is still far too recent a bad memory.

To see England earnestly attempt to go again feels like being faced with a groaning table of all-you-can-eat kebabs having just consumed an oversized Sunday Roast. Whilst normally this would be a delicious prospect, given what came before I’m not going to enjoy it. That said, what harm would it do to take a tentative nibble and see what develops from there?

Besides, regardless of who is at the helm, a 6 team qualifying group containing the likes of Lithuania , Scotland and Malta should be about as tough a nut to crack as using a sledgehammer on some stale dry roasted. Forget Big Sam. Big Ron from Eastenders or Big Daddy could get them through the group. And they are both sadly departed.

Even Big Daddy could get England through this group

For me, the genuine excitement is over in Group H where Gibraltar have Cyprus and Estonia amongst their opponents. Whilst, of course, you’d expect Belgium to run away with that one, could the boys from the Rock make a few waves? As ever, the bookmakers don’t think so and have them at anything from 2,000-1 to 5,000-1 to win the group.

But, whatever happens, surely this is still a more rewarding prospect than watching England cruise through the qualifiers to an inevitable first place. Just remember though, 10 wins out of 10 en-route to Euro 2016 didn’t prove a particularly auspicious omen as to long term tournament success.

I hope England do well. I hope Gibraltar can upset Greece on Tuesday night.I hope we don’t get overly carried away, however the qualifying groups turn out. As has been proven again, success at a tournament proving somewhat more difficult a prospect than getting there.

Indeed, aside from Euro 96 or West Ham’s triumph in the the 1966 World Up (both home tournaments) it is only really the wonderful efforts of Bobby Robson’s team back in 1990 where England have come even vaguely close to getting their hands on foreign soil. The Premier league may be ‘the best league in world football’ (is that line still being trotted out?) and have the most over inflated transfer market, but when it comes to keeping pace with International rivals then there is still a huge gap.

All the money and all the expectation in the world are no substitute for simply being ‘any good’ or knowing how to play as a team. Just look at what Wales achieved over the summer.

After the summer, the thought of winning a World Cup feels a million miles away. The prospect of investing the emotions in a qualifying campaign that has stopped the fledgling Championship season dead in its tracks so soon and so awkwardly is a tough one. And, being blunt, a frustrating one. Just as Brentford have got going and assembled our post-transfer window squad, the shutters have come down.

Yet come 5pm I have no doubt whatsoever the TV will be tuned to ITV to see just what life under Big Sam will look like. Say what you want about him, and many have, but I can guarantee you that if it’s raining there’ll be no umbrellas in sight.

Whatever happens, it can’t get this bad

Nick Bruzon

Barcelona lose the plot as Sam wins Twitter for German Bees

Brentford are in Germany. FC Barcelona have totally lost the plot. Sam Saunders has come out with the all time best ever tweet. Those are pretty much the highlights from a day that saw The Bees travelling to their summer training camp.

As at the time of writing (Sunday 7am), we are still waiting on the first entry from Peter Gilham’s tour diary to bring us up to speed on the latest from the squad. Whilst it’s probably a bit early to expect him to be putting pen to paper, at least there was plenty out there yesterday to keep us updated on social media.

I believe ‘Snapchat’ may have pictures whilst both @BrentfordFC Twitter and the hashtag #GermanyBees are the place for further information and images. Likewise do check the club figures where, amongst others, Kitman Bob has been on his usual prolific form.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have no idea who drives Brentford ‘official’. Is it an individual, a shared responsibility or ‘car keys in a bowl’ to see who gets the password? However, it definitely seems to have been on the up in recent months following some of those earlier dabbles with, what we’ll politely call, dubious hashtags (hopefully the likes of #trophyfriends and #bignewambitions will remain nothing but an odd memory).

Yesterday saw the ‘good’ side of official continue with, amongst other things, a series of photos that surely provide the basis for a caption competition in weeks to come.

This, being my particular favourite – both for the image and the curiosity as to what had elicited such a response.

If anybody has any suggestions/captions then please feel free to add as a comment and we’ll print them tomorrow.

“I even saw one guess that we’ll be playing in red and white stripes next season”

If Brentford are on good form with Twitter (and hold on Sam Saunders fans, we will get there) it would be fair to say that over in Spain things aren’t going quite so well. The famous terrace chant may once have declared us to be : The Barcelona of the lower leagues but the Catalan Giants seem hellbent on rebranding themselves the Brentford of La Liga. When it comes to hashtags, that is.

With the story of multi-millionaire Lionel Messi being found guilty of tax evasion this week, heavily fined and sentenced to 21 months in jail (a term he will not have to serve ??!) all over the media, Barca have looked to do something to counter the stories and subsequent rumours flying around. However, what they have come out with is something utterly disrespectful to anybody how has ever worked a day in their life (assuming they’ve paid their tax).

Rather than hold up his hands to say, “Sorry, it’s a far cop guv, you’ve got me bang to rights” they’ve gone the other way. Supporters have been asked to show their support by posting a message or photo with both hands open, accompanied by the hashtag : #WeAreAllLeoMessi

I’m not sure what support they expect people to be offering a convicted fraudster. Surely now is the time for a spot of contrition or just lying low? Even the choice of phrase had a rather distasteful similarity to the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ reference that helped people show unity after the January 2015 terrorist attacks in France. When Jimmy Carr suddenly has the moral high ground in the tax evasion stakes then you know things are bad.

Personally, I followed their request to the letter and came up with this.

Per @FCBarcelona : Use hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi and post a photo with both hands open. Ok, if you insist… pic.twitter.com/MOL9LmUvES

— Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon) July 9, 2016

It wasn’t just me. The response to #We AreAllLeo Messi was almost universally scathing. If you are bored today then do take a look at the hashtag to see the latest. Failing that, here are but a smattering  :

How is the hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi trending? I thought the majority of the population pay tax.

— John (@johnthemascot) July 9, 2016

 

If you're reluctant to pay tax on your half million pounds per week. This is the hashtag for you! #WeAreAllLeoMessi https://t.co/a2QjeMO3Pe

— Adam Devlin (@ad_I_am) July 9, 2016

#WeAreAllLeoMessi – Oh wait, we’re not, because we pay our taxes and he quite clearly doesn't. He’s not the victim. Shameful from Barcelona.

— Liam Canning (@OffsideLiam) July 9, 2016

from now on, this will be known as the tax evader emoji 🤗 #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Jack Grimse (@JackGrimse) July 9, 2016

If #WeAreAllLeoMessi, why am I eating 2-day-old pizza leftovers out of the fridge?

— Howler Magazine (@whatahowler) July 9, 2016

All good, but for a Bees related slant this one nails it for me:

It comes to something when #brentfordfc aren't responsible for a shit hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Mr Gray (@DeloreanGray) July 9, 2016

And relax.

“Oh Sammy Saunders you are the love of my life. Oh Sammy Saunders I’d let you (have relations with) my wife.”

Not my words but… Actually, they are my words along with those of close to 10,000 other Brentford supporters in honour of the perma-tanned wing-wizard, swim short magnate and terrace hero. Week in, week out the song is sung to our wonderful number 7 (seven). And rightly so.

So despite all the Barcelona related nonsense on twitter yesterday, it was none other than Sam who pretty much closed the social media network down as any form of contest.

This, when asked for some inspirational words ahead of a supporter’s impending nuptials…

@samsaunders7 best m8 gets wed 2day,massive bees fan,cld u send back a msge 4me 2read in me speech please?

— TomPDavies (@Tom_P83) July 9, 2016

Now she's your wife remember "the song" now applies 😂👍🏻 https://t.co/qofhJ2CEXR

— Sam Saunders (@samsaunders7) July 9, 2016

I can’t beat that. Nobody can. We may aswell just give it up now. Peter Gilham has got a tough act following Sam when his tour diary comes out.

Nick Bruzon 

And finally…. :   The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. For all the info, the highs, the lows, more highs then  you can do so now.

Its been a wonderful three years. Here’s to more of the same over 2016/17. Thanks, as ever, for reading.

What is it with service stations as Rangers lose out to Leeds?

Leeds United visit this evening. It’s going to be a strange one for sure with Brentford hero Toumani Diagouraga set to line up alongside former team-mate Stuart Dallas in Steve Evans’ team. In the end it wasn’t Mark Warburton and Rangers. Instead, the much anticipated, and photographed, transfer was confirmed by the club on Monday and Toums is now, officially, part of the set up at Elland Road. And over in Germany, a former Bee has got himself in a spot of hot water.

But we need to start with the worst kept secret in football. Alongside the normal rumours from the local and national press, social Media had been awash with comments from players and photographs from fans over the weekend that, let’s just politely say, indicated this was a ‘done deal’. Even Bees Player commentator par-excellence Mark Burridge has since released his own picture from Saturday after bumping into the player at a motorway service station.

Mark bumped into Toumani at the weekend

With all the transfer talk being about Judge to Sheffield Wednesday, Tarks (and my thoughts on his terrible news were published last night) to Burnley and even Toums to Rangers, this one took many by surprise when it was first suggested. But then we got the social media meltdown, evidence flying around and, finally, an announcement from the club when the deal was penned.

That’s football. As we’ve noted many times, like it or not club policy is normally one of making no comment until the ink is dry. Fair play to Mark B here, too. The temptation to release his photograph must have been immense but he remains professional to the last and kept this one tucked away until the news had been made official.

Moreso given that this wasn’t his first chance encounter at a service station on the way back from Preston ‘away’.  Keen eyed observers may recall he met none other than Keith Stroud a few years ago. This, well after the infamous ‘maddest game of football that ever existed’ up at Bramall Lane in which the dimuntive man in the middle…saw red. Even by his standards.

But we digress. Toumani is clear to line up against us tonight and, I would fully expect, he’ll get a heroes welcome this evening. From both sets of fans. “Toumani scores, we’re on the pitch” went the infamous song. Bookmakers currently have him at 7/1 to do it tonight at anytime. Expect that price to shrink. A lot.

Football loves a romantic story and, whilst in any other circumstance I’d hate to see anyone score against us (Karleigh Osborne for Bristol City two years ago being the exception) I’m sure I wouldn’t be alone in having a little smile if it happened tonight. Preferably if we were already three up.

I hope the stewards are ready.

The other news to cross my timeline yesterday involved ‘Big’ Nick Proschwitz. You may have already seen the story in which the player, now at German club Padeborn, was reported to have ‘revealed’ himself for twenty seconds in front of a female employee. This, whilst under the influence of alcohol during a stay at a Turkish training club.

The club’s president has already come out and said that “Nick Proschwitz doesn’t belong to our squad anymore”. In defence, the former Bee has been quoted as saying, “ I didn’t have any pants on under my jogging trousers. One of the lads pulled my trousers down – but that was only for a second or so.”

Thankfully, he seems to have a key witness in his defence. The alleged victim. She has told German news agencies that, “At no point was I sexually harassed….The only thing that has harassed me is the false media reports. We barely noticed the fact that a player came into the room, pulled his trousers down and then immediately left.”

Barely noticed the player… Immediately left… I believe her.

Nick Bruzon