Out of tune and out of touch but who looks good in green?

We’ve got a bumper Last Word today. England took on Portugal last night in their final warm up game ahead of EURO 2016. Whilst I promised we’d drop the Brentford ‘green shirt’ stuff, there is an 11th hour addendum from one supporter which Bees fans may find of interest. And on the subject, we look at the top ten green shirts of all time. From Plymouth to Palmeiras and Carlisle to Panathinaikos, can anybody make this under used colour look good?

But first, England. Whereas I’d normally say they “entertained Portugal last night” rather than “took on”, anybody who saw the game will know there’d have been more entertainment in an episode of Hale and Pace (kids, ask your dads. Actually, don’t. Spare them the pain).

The 1-0 win at Wembley was an experience that many found uninspiring, out of touch with the occasion and somewhat flat. An indication of the pain that awaits supporters over the next few weeks unless something changes and fast. ITV nailed it, by accident, in the commentary with the observation that, “This is Dier”.

But enough about the England supporter’s band.

Look, it wasn’t the best game by any stretch of the imagination. The red card for Bruno Alves, channelling his inner Eric Cantona with a crazy challenge on Harry Kane, hardly helped proceedings as both teams had to adjust to playing 11 on 10 for most of the game. If you want a full match report then, as ever, other sources are the place to go. However, if you want a full match report in two tweets then we’ve got it here c/o DJ’s Andy Bush and Conor McNamara.

I’m still no closer to knowing who Roy will start with against Russia next Saturday but at least we can now look forward to the tournament with no other distractions. The one week countdown is underway, the wall chart is on the fridge and Will Grigg is, apparently, still on fire (if he manages to score, ‘that song’ is just going to become interminable).

After that, the rest just comes naturally. Sit back, grab a beer, prepare the ‘butt groove’ in the sofa and enjoy a month of bonus football that we wouldn’t get in a normal ‘closed season’. Hey, if nothing else it might distract from endless rumours and talk of “Bees boss set for double transfer swoop”. All being well, it might even extinguish Will Grigg. No offence to the former Bee but I’m half expecting ‘that band’ to add ‘that song’ to their repertoire.

Next up, Brentford. More specfically, the  last word on our wearing green (unless, of course, somebody actually manages to unearth a picture of that adidas shirt). Supporter   Geoff Buckingham has been in touch about when, and why, Brentford first wore this most unusual of colours :

It was due to a motor coach not turning up !

It happened in the grim days of January 1974, when the club were close to bottom of The Football League, the country was gripped by the Miner’s Strike and ‘The Three Day’ week, and funds at Griffin Park were very tight indeed. To make matters worse, on a freezing cold 12th Jan.the Brentford team coach did not show up at the meeting point for the trip to bottom of the table Doncaster Rovers.This meant a hurried change of plan, and the players had to quickly sort out cars and drive themselves up to Doncaster. 

If that was not bad enough, one of them, winger Barry Salvage, got nicked for speeding on the return journey. As for the kit we had to borrow them from Slough Town FC. The shirts were indeed green, but with pink numbers on the back!

Anyway, the green shirts brought Brentford a bit of luck as the Bees won the match 2-1 , with a brace from ex Bognor Regis deckchair attendant Andy Woon ( you could not make this up,could you?!)

That win, in front of 3009 perishingly cold spectators, was Brentford’s only victory in a 14 game spell. But it was enough to lift the Bees up to third from bottom, and was actually a crucial two points, as we finished the season just two points above the Division 4 bottom four re-election places! 

Thanks, Geoff. And no more so than because talk of pink and green allows me to get out the industrial sized crowbar as we segue into : ‘the top ten green shirts of all time’.

This, a research topic I’ve undertaken simply down to the fact that, whilst most Brentford fans seemed quite keen on the idea (if you believe social media), one New Road observer contacted me to say: “Glad we’re not getting the hideous green kit this season but seems nailed on for next time.”

Is green hideous?   Unusual, for sure. But hideous? It’s one view and who am I to judge? Instead, let the world of football fashion be your guide….

Carlisle away 1993

10) Carlise away 1993. Accused by many of resembling a deckchair, this cult classic even has a hint of red and white. If Matthew Benham and co are keen on the green, could this give inspiration for 2017? Bonus points always awarded for anything made by the much missed ‘Matchwinner’

 

 

Mexico 1996 – wow

9) Mexico 1996. It’s one thing having some discreet design added to your shirt but Mexico didn’t hold back on the subtly when it came to embracing their heritage back in 1996. It’s bold, I’ll give you that. I love it!

 

 

 

La Hoya – delicious design

8) La Hoya Lorca 2013/14. We’ve featured the Spanish lower division side’s kit on these pages many times over the years. And rightly so, given they’ve modelled it on the broccoli that signifies their agricultural heartland.

 

 

 

Green Arsenal?

7) Hibernian 1989/90. It’s made by Adidas and it just looks awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

St. Etienne add a certain, I don’t know what but it’s good

6) St. Etienne 1981/82. How can you honestly say this isn’t stylish? I’ll even forgive the non-matching collar and cuffs, such is the French chic on offer in this classic Le Coq Sportif template.

 

 

 

 

classic adidas

5) Palmeiras 1979/ 80.  The boys from Brazil kept it simple for this adidas effort. But then again, why mess around when simple equates to style?

 

 

 

 

 

Plymouth show that green can look good

4) Plymouth 1984/85. Much like the Palmeiras effort although with the addition of the discreet pinstripe that just screamed ’80’s football shirt’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Modern is good, too

3) Panathinaikos 2008/09. Another Adidas shirt. Another stunner. Even the sponsor and other branding is done sympathetically

 

 

 

 

It’s green. It’s pink. It’s brilliant

2) Real Betis 2015/16. We love women on these pages. Not in a mysogynistic style but more to celebrate how at Brentford we have such a diverse fanbase. So it’s nice to include a wonderful effort from Spain as Betis took things one step further than even the Bees, creating a special shirt in order to celebrate the week of the Andalusian Woman.

 

 

My favourite green shirt of all time

1) Cameroon 1990. Roger Milla. Upset after upset as the Indomitable Lions almost got to the semi finals ahead of England. That foul by Benjamin Massing on Claudio Cannigia. Oh, and one of the most iconic shirts in World football. Adidas have done it again.

 

 

 

Nick Bruzon

Plug time (regular readers know the score from here) : As ever, The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. Should anybody want to go over this nonsense and relive these moments once more then you can do so now.

It has been a stunning few years. Here’s to more of the same. We may have had a few lows (something about a penalty, the football village, the FA Cup, the pitch, the Marinus experiment) but there have been plenty more highs as the Bees made an unexpected challenge for the Premier League.

Thanks for reading.

Its all about the kit, man. And the Bees.

 

Advertisement

As next season already tantalises, there’s a new ‘worst kit ever’.

Whilst the likes of Brentford and Burton Albion supporters may well be looking forward to next season’s trip to Newcastle United, unsurprisingly news of the Magpies’ relegation to the Championship hasn’t gone down well in the North-East. We’ve got a new entrant to the worst kit of all time c/o CD Palencia from Spain (where else?) and then’s even news, of sorts, from Griffin Park.

First up, Newcastle United. I only mention them purely because of the most amusing tweet I’ve seen this week. One that surpasses even the quote attributed to former Sunderland player Jack Colback which has been doing the rounds of social media. The highlight of which was the line : “I have absolutely no intention of playing in the Championship and that’s why I’m joining Newcastle.”

It would be safe to say that @hasarnn10 isn’t overly enamoured about the fate awaiting his team next season. Certainly if the below is to be believed.

Well Graziano, I think you’ll find we do.

Whilst it would be easy to launch into paragraphs of diatribe on the nonsensical quote, life’s too short. Sadly for Newcastle fans their team gave up any right to play in the amazing stadiums of the Premier League next time out and so, instead, we’ll simply file this one away for when our paths cross next season.

As one final observation, no sooner has temporary manger Rafa Benitez up and left (on Steve McClaren’s brolly ???) than  editor-in-chief for Trinity Mirror North East, Darren Thwaites, has launched an impassioned plea on behalf of ‘The Geordie Nation’, begging him to return.

Whilst Darren’s Twitter feed has since backtracked on the whole ‘Geordie Nation’ thing, at the time of writing over 9,000 supporters have already signed the petition. Being quite selfish, I hope Darren fails in his mission.

Certainly, to the outsider looking in, Rafa almost hauled them out of the mire that Shteve had left the Magpies in.

With Brentford placing 5th and 9th in the Championship these last two seasons, there’ll be a lot of expectation for another strong finish.A Benitez led Newcastle United are surely going to be an additional hurdle in that aim.

Then again, it’s all the sweeter getting one over a ‘big’ team, given how tinpot we are and all that. On a totally unrelated note,  a big hello to any Leeds United fans reading. Hey, you never know.

Will Rafa return?

Ok, crazy kits. Spain has long been the market leader in the ridiculous shirt. Every year, it seems as though there is an unofficial competition thing place in the Spanish lower leagues to come up with the most outrageous shirt possible.

Over the last few seasons these pages have seen ‘the tuxedo’, ‘the octopus’, the beer shirt’  and, of course the king of them all – La Hoya’s ‘broccoli’ kit.

Stop. The king is dead. Long live the king. We have a new pretender to the throne. Third division team CD Palencia have started to flex their muscle, quite literally, with their latest effort.

Even worse, their Kappa branded kit commits that most heinous of sartorial crimes by continuing the design onto this shorts. I have no idea if Kitman Bob or chief executive Mark Devlin are reading but, if so, here’s hoping we aren’t going to emulate this…..

CDPalencia model their si-new kit

And finally, Brentford. Is Sam Saunders releasing holiday snaps ? Is this another picture of last season’s pitch?  Or is it simply that after last campaign’s pitch gate affair (which, of course, you can catch up on in the Last Word season review) it seems we are taking no chances this time around.

Visitors to Griffin Park would have seen the pitch being taken up before we’d even thumped Huddersfield Town 5-1 in the final game of the season last Saturday. A photograph was published on ‘official’ Twitter yesterday to show similar work is already under way at our Jersey Road training ground.

This is only good news. I don’t recall patchwork starting quite so soon in the past. If nothing else, there’s usually time for those end of season ‘workplace’ run outs and the ‘Bees Legends’ game.

Instead, there’s no let up in the pace for Brentford. Off the field, the players may be on holiday. Back in TW8, it’s already full steam ahead for August.

This could be a long three months…..

Simon Moore just off camera

Nick Bruzon

From the best shirt to the worst – with a video nod to Eric

Over the last 13 months since this column has been running, our reader may have realised I’m somewhat of a Brentford kit nerd. A quick search of this site with the word ‘kit’ will also show pieces on what we, our Championship rivals (and beyond) have worn. Likewise, some of the quirkier efforts through the ages. Hull City AFC and their tiger stripes, the Coventry City T, Spanish broccoli, beer and octopus designs being some of the best.

However, whilst reading a thread on GPG this morning in regards to Brentford shirt, it suddenly dawned on me. I’ve written about our best ever home and, equally, away shirt. There’s also been a piece published on what are, in my opinion, our worst ever away tops.

But I’ve never completed the story by talking about my least popular home effort. Until now.

By and large, our home kit has generally been pretty good over the years and so to compile a top ten or even top five would be, largely, a pointless exercise. That said, two do stand out for me and both are from recent years.

In second place is the 2012/13 effort. On the surface, I really liked this. Thick stripes, a decent shade of red and even a solitary touch of black on the shoulder was a nice touch. Then you turned it over.

Where were the stripes? Not only had they been removed ‘due to football league regulations’ (that, seemingly, Sheffield United were able to circumnavigate) but they’d been replaced by a teabag. Whilst the front of this was standard shirt material, the reverse was some sort of perforated ventex effort. It meant our female fans had their bra straps on display whilst it gave all of us the chance of gaining a polka dot sun tan.

As for the stick on ‘Skyex’ sponsor patch. It was the first appearance of this much maligned piece of low budget kit design – a trend that has continued into the Adidas regime and blighted their, otherwise, sterling efforts.

2012/13 – Fantastic front but that horrible, horrible back. No stripes; just teabags

But that’s nothing, to me, on the previous season’s effort. 2011/12 is, in my opinion, the most awful of all the shirts we’ve ever had.

It’s not just that there are too many red stripes, relative to a classic Brentford shirt, yet not enough to bring it into the cult territory of the ‘funky bee’ 1989 centenary effort. Although that’s a poor start.

Then chuck in the black collars. They’re floppy!!? Think Eric Cantona, but after a few too many Kronebourgs.

The only point of a collar on a football shirt is so as you can stand it up – preferably just at the point of entering ‘Saunder’s territory’. Nothing is more likely to put the wind up the opposition than a midfielder with a known eye for goal, making this final adjustment before striking a free kick.

Cantona shows how a collar, if it has to be incorporated into a football kit, should be treated.

 

So we have too many stripes and a pathetic collar but the ultimate crime is the red shoulder patches and double black trim. Adidas have their famous three stripes, so Puma decide to copy this but go one less. Why?

It’s an awful choice and this entire upper makes us look like hotel doormen. Perhaps some people like it but, personally, I won’t even have this one in my collection.

Talk about Puma seeing out their contract in style. Or lack of .

2011/12 – Marcel Eger models my worst ever Brentford shirt

Don’t do it, Mark. I’ve found something worse than the broccoli

As Brentford fans wait for Mark Devlin to reveal news of next season’s kit, FA Cup winner’s Arsenal have unveiled a shocker. You may have seen this already but, if not, get those sunnies out and we’ll get there in a moment.

First, though, it seems as though a farewell is in order. George Saville took to twitter yesterday with a couple of posts that suggest, unless he is going on a very long holiday, he’s played his last game at Griffin Park.

Nobody who saw George in action for the Bees could deny his obvious talent, his eye for goal and the long future that awaits him in the game. Could we see him next season with another Championship club (ahem) or, perhaps, a career in the Premiership awaits? Either way, Bees fans owe him a massive vote of thanks for his role in our promotion this season.

I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I don’t think George is coming back on loan again

One positive, for me, should George depart is that it now qualifies him to play for the Brentford legend’s team. Sunday’s Community day at Griffin Park saw the team run out as 3-2 winners over the ‘Skyex Allstars’. Many eras of former Bees turned out from Andy Driscoll and the watching Marcus Gayle right up to present day players in Sam Wood and Marcus Bean.

It was a cracking day in hot sun (perhaps Roy should have stayed in West London for England’s warm weather training) and is sure to take place again next season where the Bees will be aiming for a hat-trick of victories.

Brentford legends preparing for action

Ok –  that kit. Most teams celebrate an FA Cup win with an open top bus parade or a reception in the town hall. True, Arsenal did the former but they have also launched a limited edition shirt to commemorate their victory.

It’s up there with the La Hoya Lorca ‘broccoli shirt’ or Madureira’s Fidel Castro tribute. Exiting club technical sponsor Nike have gone for a hybrid effort which, in their words is ’inspired by a selection of iconic Arsenal kits from the past two decades’.

So, not the offcuts from the factory floor which have been hastily sewn together, Frankenstein style, then?

I’m glad I’m not an Arsenal fan for many reasons but, primarily, because this is so bad I might actually be tempted to try and get one.

Surely Mark Devlin wouldn’t do this to us…….

Is this the oddest kit ever? (and the Buzzette prizewinner is named)

The next time you find yourself getting upset by the lack of stripes on the back of the Brentford shirt then spare a thought for supporters of Rio De Janeiro based football team, Madureira.

Up until now, Spanish team La Hoya Lorca were my out and out contenders for the most bizarre kit of the season, with their ‘away ‘effort based on the agricultural heritage of the team’s locality. So much so that the entire ensemble has been designed to look like a stick of broccoli, even having an image of the vegetable imprinted into the top. It was a beautiful reminder of that moment back in the early 1990’s when the marketing men up at Hull City decided to employ similar logic – “Our nickname is ‘The Tigers’, why not make a shirt covered in tiger stripes?”

Broccoli and Tiger stripes. Odd inspiration, until now….

But move over La Hoya, there’s a new player in town. Brazilian third division team Madureira have just released a special kit commemorating the 50^th anniversary of the club’s trip to Cuba. And what better way to do this than by incorporating an image of Che Guevara into the shirt? Who needs big cats or root vegetables when you have a Communist revolutionary? It gets better, though. In the case of the goalkeeper’s kit, they’ve taken things a step further by simply replicating the Cuban flag.  It all makes David Button’s lurid green outfit seem rather tame in comparison and I want one!

So if anybody is heading over to Rio for the World Cup next summer then why not keep your eyes peeled for an unusual souvenir. Brentford have already placed the ‘George Cross’ into the 2005-05 home shirt so who knows if we could go one better next time out…?

David Button could be sweating on the arrival of the 2014-15 Adidas goalkeeper shirt

Getting back to matters TW8, the results of the most recent ‘Last Word Caption Competition’ have been announced. Special guest judge Natalie Sawyer has revealed her favourite caption for the picture of Sir Alex Ferguson and Farid El Alagui doing…well, I don’t know what.

Natalie told me, “It’s a toughie but I think I’m going for Roger Greenaway’s (sheffbee) effort, which has Farid saying:  “OK Sir Alex. Best of three, but I still say you’ve got more chance of starting Saturday than I have.”

Congratulations Roger. I’ll be in touch to arrange delivery of your prize – a Buzzette mug – shortly. All being well there’ll be another competition before Christmas. If you’d like to see the best of the printable suggestions (Simon Catlin, I’m looking at you in particular….) then you can do so here.

“OK Sir Alex. Best of three, but I still say you’ve got more chance of starting Saturday than I have.”

Otherwise it simply remains to say, bring on Saturday and the F.A. Cup first round.

My feelings on the tie and, of course, the return of Marcus Gayle have already been well documented this week and so I won’t regurgitate here. That said, fingers are crossed for the right result and, with Uwe suggesting that he’ll be naming a strong side, I’m hoping Brentford will find themselves in the velvet bag for the second round draw.