Plus ça change – new coach; same result

Wow. What can you, actually, say after that? Birmingham City ran out 2-0 winners over a Brentford team beginning their first game under new head coach Lee Carsley. However, it was the anti-performance rather than the scoreline that will stick long in the minds of most home supporters.

Let’s be clear. I hate to sound negative about our team. I’ve supported them through thick and thin for over thirty years but that was terrible. Save for Alan Judge hitting the crossbar late on, and Lasse Vibe shooting straight at Blues’ goalkeeper Tomasz Kuszczak, there were no real chances. But it wasn’t even the lack of attempts on goal that grated but more the general lack of attacking intent or motivation.

A twenty-minute spell in the first half aside, Brentford were non-existent and grew visibly more abject as the game progressed. At least under Marinus we picked up the pace late into games; this was the opposite.

The longer the game went on the more heads dropped. Sideways pass followed sideways pass followed backwards pass – think Jonathan Douglas at his most negative. There was no penetration or cohesion as optimistic balls forward were easily snaffled up by the Blues defence

That said, as at the weekend we conceded in the 90^th minute – so there is some consistency. “Not quite as sh*t as Saturday” was the view of one New Road wag after the game. I’d disagree – I thought we were dreadful. Even Lee Carsley would later tell Billy Reeves that, “We went passive with our passing which suited them”.

With a new head coach and a chance for a new start, we’ve stalled in the blocks. Things weren’t always great under Marinus but at least we were starting to see them coming together. The draw at Leeds and victory over Preston were followed by the late defeat against Sheffield Wednesday where, perhaps, we might have snatched all three points but ended up getting stung at the death. This looked like a step backward.

As I’ve said before, we don’t have a divine right to ‘be any good’. I can accept defeat – especially if we look like we want to try for the win. But tonight we were definitely second best against a Birmingham City team who, if I’m being honest, were no great shakes themselves. But you can only beat who you are up against and they did just that.

For the ninth time in ten games we fell behind aswell as, just like on Saturday against Sheffield Wednesday, conceding in the last minute – plus ça change.

Positives? I’m struggling to find some. The half time marriage proposal from Buzz Bee (my nominee for man of the match) was the only real highlight. Our mascot’s costume being donned for one supporter to go down on bended knee, before taking the mic to ‘pop the question’.

Doing this in front of almost 10.000 fans whilst dressed as a headless, anthropomorphic bee is surely a moment never to be forgotten. It’s a shame we can’t say the same about the rest of the evening .

Nick Bruzon

Don’t do it Buzzette – when mascots lose their head.

It would be fair to say that Brentford mascots Buzz Bee and Buzzette are two of the better behaved in the football world . From Wolves to Wolfsburg and Dunfermline to Swansea, the age-old matter of mascots getting ‘carried away’ was brought to the fore again at the weekend.

You’ve probably seen the video clip sweeping the Internet from Sunday’s Bundesliga encounter between 1899 Hoffenheim and Vfl Wolfsburg. The game has since attracted the public interest  – less for the 8 goals and more for the ‘accident’ that befell the home team’s mascot, Hoffi the Moose, as they notched their fourth goal of a 6-2 win.

Rushing to celebrate with the players on the pitch, rather than leap the barriers Hoffi managed to trip over them and, quite literally, lost his head . For those who’ve had theirs buried in the footballing sand – which is almost where Hoffi ended up –  you can see the incident here.

Seeing this has put my in mind of some of the more infamous mascot moments. Whilst the downside of the next clip means you need to sit through a few seconds of Angus Deayton, stick with it. It’s the moment where Brentford’s League one rivals Wolves,  saw their ‘Wolfie’ take on all three of Bristol City’s ‘little pigs’ single-handed.

Sadly (for research purposes), I’ve been unable to unearth any footage of Swansea’s ‘Cyril the Swan’ who, amongst other misdemeanours, once performed a pitch invasion that culminated in his ripping the head off Millwall’s Zampa the Lion.

Cyril then proceeded to drop kick it into the crowd. That said, you can still read the original BBC report (check out the ‘old school’ internet) here.

Cyril – about to punt Zampa’s into the back of the Cyg-net

However, my particular ‘lowlight’ of mascot mayhem is, almost certainly, Dunfermline’s Sammy the Tammy. Back in April 2011, he took to the field in a derby game with local rivals Raith Rovers in a home made tank before marching to the half way line and appearing to take pot shots at the opposition fans.

All this accompanied by the subtle soundtrack of ‘Two Tribes’ (go to war)., by pop music’s Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

The moment has been recorded for posterity, with Tammy losing his head (metaphorically rather than literally) about three minutes in.

Whilst there is nothing positive to be said about football violence, there is something mildly amusing about a punch up between a six foot anthromphised Wolf and some equally weighted piglets.

However, even I would draw the line at Buzz Bee, in a home-made Sherman, taking aim at the Fulham fans next season.