Brentford pointless after car crash of a no-show.

Wow. Just wow. There are no-shows, and there are no-shows. Then there was that. A next level no-show from Thomas Frank’s team with Coventry City taking just about as easy a three points as they could ever be offered. Brentford, generous visitors to St. Andrew’s and allowing our hosts 90 minutes to enjoy lunch at the all you can score buffet. In the end our hosts took advantage just twice but it could have been double that. Or more. Our second place in the Championship remaining by virtue of nothing more than goal difference but Swansea City must be salivating now with a massive three games in hand. A win at Huddersfield Town this afternoon (at the time of writing it is, amazingly, 1—0 to the hosts) will see them overtake us with an additional two games to play. Norwich City will, I am sure, also be looking to extend their own lead at the top in the game against Rotherham United at Carrow Road.

Full credit to Coventry City, btw. They fought and scraped for everything. Kept pushing to the last. Outplayed a changed Brentford line up in every position. One can understand Thomas needing to use games for rotation but the new look line up weren’t even close to coming second. Ben Wilson in the Coventry goal having just about as easy a game as they come. Ninety minutes to catch up on some sleep. Brentford, on the other hand, pointless. Before, during and after. Ghoddos anonymous. Mbeumo overweight. Canos out of sorts and out of touch. Forss not getting a look in. Dasilva and Dalsgaard on the bench. Toney not even making the squad. Let’s hope that was nothing serious.

We ended the game with changes having been made but Rico Henry looking like he may have sustained significant damage and a second goal conceded that came straight from the textbook of schoolboy defending. A woeful clearance from Raya, under no pressure whatsoever, selling his team short. Coventry being given all the time and space to pick their moment and double the lead ten minutes into the second half. A second goal for Tyler Walker to complement his penalty in the opening period. It had looked an innocuous decision awarded against Rico but the general consensus was that it was the right one. Walker squeezing it through and under Raya after 19 minutes to shock us, briefly, into life.

The resuscitation was a short one. A game crying out for change before half time continued the same way and the ultimate price was then paid after the defensive horror show that allowed the lead to be doubled. Brentford declared dead on the table but limping through the motions for another half hour or so. Offering up about as flaccid a performance as we’ve had the misfortune to sit through in a while. It was Stoke City away levels of bad. Second half against Preston awful. Horrific. An insult to the word performance. 

Play this rather than watching the highlights – its the same

You get the gist. Whatever the results from Huddersfield and Norwich, we’ve been about as bad as it is possible to be. Knackered? Perhaps. Mentally drained? Maybe. But enough about the fans. I’m sure the players are feeling it too and I’m equally sure that Sheffield on Wednesday can’t be anywhere near this woeful. It would be impossible to be so. Even with Ian Moose up front, the England Supporters band across the back four and Mrs. Brown filling the defensive midfield berth.

The obvious concern being that this is now three defeats on the spin. LLL. A blip could become a car crash. Barnsley was poor, QPR better (for a while) but this was off the cliff levels of bad. Man of the match probably going to referee Steve Martin, simply for his bringing proceedings to a close. The one bit of pleasure to take this afternoon. Thomas, frankly that wasn’t good enough today. Nowhere near. No guts. No desire. No clue.

On the other hand, if there can be any positive, at least we’re having the bumps now. Better to get them out the system now with 15 still to play than in the final few games of the campaign. We’ve got Ivan Toney to return. Likewise Christian Norgaard and Emiliano Marcondes. The former can’t be back soon enough. The later hopefully to provide some much needed flare. There was good news with Pontus being declared back on the grass although I can’t imagine his return being in the next few days or even weeks.

No amount of post mortem will find any genuine good from today, though. I’m not even going to try. I have eyes. What is important now is where we go from here. Wednesday night demands the mother of all reactions. Fingers crossed it comes. 

In the meantime, if Huddersfield and Rotherham would like to do us a favour then that would be good. 

Nick Bruzon

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Ivan not terrible. We hope.

Another win under the belt. Brentford chalked up a routine 2-0 over Coventry City that takes us to within two points of the p***-*ff positions in the embryonic table. At the half way mark to it having officially ‘taken shape’. The Bees are up to tenth and Ivan Toney has more than hit his groove. Another brace yesterday taking him top of the Championship goal scorer charts. With a tough run of fixtures coming up between now and Tuesday week – Sheffield Wednesday on, err, Wednesday, staying on the road to Stoke and then hosting Norwich City – we’ll have a much better idea of just how well Thomas Frank’s 20/21 incarnation of the team are adapting to Championship life. More importantly, with Toney being subbed off after suffering a shoulder injury, let’s hope its a case of Ivan not terrible when the teams for the game at Hillsborough are announced.

Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves though. First things first, the Coventry game. As feels like it is going to be the case for the next few months – at the very least – it was another one where we had to watch on i-follow.

The couch and the wide angle camera – where there was as much of the empty stand on our screen as there was pitch – making the best of the bad job inflicted on us by Corona virus. That said, would it hurt to zoom in a little bit?  Perhaps its just our tv and my shoddy eyesight but I was struggling to identify the players at times. Sergi’s new look hair (or lack of) not helping. Was this the result of a training ground prank / dare that went wrong?

Official published this one – where’s the hair, Sergi?

What we could see looked good. Domination in the first half and the combination of heavy touches, desperate defence and fine goalkeeping (Pontus must be cursing) keeping things level as Brentford took the game to our guests. At one point the stats read 12 shots, 4 on target and 6 corners to the Bees compared with 0, 0 and 0 for the equivalent from Coventry.  Bryan Mbeumo will perhaps rue one chance where he seemed to be clear before getting closed out whilst Ivan Toney has Sky Blues’ ‘keeper Marko Maroši on his toes early doors.

But we all know the old adage about balls in the back of the net being the only thing that counts. Just look back to the season opener at Birmingham City.  With no goal coming and Coventry finding their feet late on, it had all the trade marks of being a classic 0-1 Brentford reverse as the players came in for their half-time cuppas. 

Oh me of little faith. Boom. Another blistering start and there was to be no escape for the visitors this time. No repeat of the second-half debacle we’d seen last time out. Instead, Ivan Toney opened proceedings within a minute of the restart. Marcondes finding Bryan Mbeumo whose ball forward – seemingly neither cross nor shot exactly( if only there were a phrase for that)  – was diverted home by the free-scoring frontman. 1-0 and pressure off. 

Little less than ten minutes later, that lead was doubled. Marcondes instrumental again. This time getting the assist as his cross found the head of Toney who made no mistake from six yards out. The floodgates were starting to open. Sit back, pop another beer and enjoy the rout.

Sadly not. Coventry were made of firmer stuff and, once more, grew into it. Instead we had to be happy with holding on for a clean sheet and sweating on our players’ fitness. Rico Henry went down for a while whilst Toney was subbed off. His replacement the quite wonderful Marcus Forss but with our new man adjusting so quickly to Championship life, his presence will be vital over the coming weeks. Thankfully, Tomas Frank would confirm to Billy Reeves at full time that the injury was not serious but we’ll no doubt be waiting on further news ahead of the trip to Sheffield,  Wednesday.

Vitaly Janelt also came on for a debut and impressed from the off. With Matthias Jensen having his best game in a Brentford shirt for a while, it offers hope that the absence of Christian Norgaard is one which whilst not ideal by any stretch, could be absorbed.

I’m a happy man today. 2-0 is 2-0. It could have been more and we still look a little rusty in places. Yet Ollie Watkins’ loss has not become the on-pitch disaster it could have been. Perhaps some of us are scarred by remembering the attempts to replace Dean Holdsworth with Murray Jones, Philipp Hofmann picking up for Andre Gray or just the car crash that was Nick Proschwitz. Instead we have cash in the bank and goals flying in. The statisticians at the GPG produced an inserting graph (not a typo) last night – 

➡️@ivantoney24 off to a flyer this season. Way ahead of where Ollie was last season and will overtake Maupay with a goal on Wednesday v Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/YwAvsOYrG9

— Griffin Park Grapevine (@bfcgpg) October 17, 2020

What a way to illustrate how quickly Ivan has taken to life at this level. Ahead of Ollie and level with Neal Maupay, having played a game less than our much loved king of shithousery.

This is one game. But, as ever with Brentford, we take time to adjust. To find our feet. Look at how last season started compared to how it ended. In general, I mean, rather than those very last knockings. Move along, nothing to see there ! Once we hit our form, the Bees were unstoppable. At least until the game at Stoke City. Something something something p***-*ffs.  

We are gelling. We are winning. We’ve still got a league cup quarter-final to host, too. Let’s not forget the valuable wins picked up in that competition. Sheffield Wednesday away is as tough as it gets. Their own form has actually been better than ours, with only that 12 point deduction keeping them bottom of the table. They’re reeling in those around them already and will no doubt be desperate to get into ‘positive’ points as soon as possible. 

But we’ll be as keen to keep the goals coming. For David Raya to retain the ‘golden gloves’ he won last year. To get closer to the teams at the top of the table. I can’t wait for this one. If only to see how well we fare against a team whose home has been a less than happy hunting ground in recent seasons. Bring it on. 

Nick Bruzon

No income tax, no VAT. No money back, no guarantee.

The news we all feared was confirmed on Friday. Brentford will go into today’s game with Coventry City knowing we’ll be missing one of our most essential players. One of those automatic choices on the team sheet (think Dougie under Warburton or the unicorn when Marinus was the helm). Christian Norgaard has an ankle injury and will be out for eight weeks. It looked bad when he went off during the Preston anomaly (that being the 2-4 reverse rather than one of Billy Reeves’ favourite bands) and now we know. Elsewhere, West Ham finally got their man. Kind of. Whatever you think about the way they undertook their business, Said Benrahma will now be plying his trade at the Olympic stadium. Assuming, of course, he’s fit enough. You know, having ‘failed’ their medical.

It’s official

First up, Coventry City. Say what you want about Brentford, and many have, but we never fail to surprise even our own fans. That game with Preston was about as awful as it gets. And bizarre. 2-0 up at half time thanks to a brilliant brace from Ivan Toney (Oh, that pass from Sergi…) we fell apart in the second period in a manner that would make even Leeds United blush. My word it was horrific. Awful. A car crash. An insult to the word defending. etc etc etc. 

We all saw it. We all get it. Move on. Frankly, it is an impossibility that we could go awol like that again. Ever. We know what this team and this squad is capable of on their day. And that was anything but it. I’m absolutely expecting a statement of intent today. A demonstration that it was a freak of nature and, unfortunately, Coventry City are the wrong team in the wrong place.  Canos, Mbeumo, Dasilva to go rogue. Fosu to get a run out and do his thing. Raya back in goal. Toney to add to his collection. 

Cripes, we need it. That’s for sure.  We’ve that open question as to who replaces Christian Norgaard and, of course, the frustration over West Ham. No bad vibe towards Said. Quite the opposite. He was magnificent as a Bee and it has been apparent he’s wanted that step up. We all know what he can do. His talents most definitely befitting the top flight – even if it is only for a season. Said lit up Griffin Park and we loved him. Jota levels of excitement.  Let’s not pretend, either, that this one doesn’t hurt though.

No matter how philosophical one can be about our transfer model and recruitment strategy, for supporters it is Jota and Maupay levels of ‘Nooooooo’. An iconic and unique talent leaving Brentford for pastures new. We all knew this day would come and can only wish him well. The manner West Ham conduct their business one which has left a sour taste in the mouth.

A unique talent

Surprise, surprise – they weren’t able to pay up. Rather we’re left with a cobbled together deal that could only go through after the window had shut. One which involves an initial loan period and downpayment of £5million, a guaranteed £20m purchase at the end of the season  and then a further £5m of add ons. When we said he was part of a BMW, nobody expected the Hammers to act like they were trying to buy a second hand car. One very careful owner. Let’s just hope they don’t go under or try some means to weasel out of this further down the track should things not work out for whatever reason. After all, this is a player who apparently failed his medical. Hmmm. 

As Nathan Caton put so wonderfully….  Benrahma fails a medical at a club where Jack Wilshere & Andy Carroll passed theirs???? Yo West Ham if you don’t have the money just say bruh…

So instead, we go down this route. An inability to stump up the cash has left us agreeing to this one. It worked with Ryan Woods and, I suppose, as long as that contract is water tight then all good further down the track. We don’t need to sell and have stuck to our guns so long that a decision to go down this route is one that Matthew and the DOFs have felt is in our interests. That doesn’t stop it felling like we’ve been played, though.

That West Ham have been haggling like Del Boy on a market stall rather than a football club befitting their proud history and tradition. World Cup / FA Cup winners in 1966 and 1980, as you may be aware.

This tweet from Ongar hammer was one of many form their own fans offering similar sentiments: Our owners are the most despicable bastards going , we despise them with a passion, they are a disgrace.

Still, we’ve agreed to it. Who knows what goes on behind the scenes? We’ve proven time and again we’re no mugs in our transfer dealings. You and me getting upset isn’t going to change anything. I can’t waste the energy on it and can only wish Said well. Hope his enthusiasm, joie de vivre and talent can all translate to the pitch at his new home. 

If he does what we know he can then West Ham supporters are going to wet themselves. For us, time to focus on the future. And that starts on I-follow this afternoon with Coventry City visiting Lionel Road.

See you on the couch at 3pm.

Thank you for the magical moments, Said!#BrentfordFC pic.twitter.com/FVn7C2kpbh

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) October 16, 2020

Nick Bruzon

A sight for sore eyes or should we be worried? Just what to believe?

A day of mixed news for Brentford yesterday. The much expected and equally feared sale of Scott Hogan took another turn with a national paper – The Guardian – reporting that Watford have joined West Ham et al in the queue for the free scoring frontman. Further, they have supposedly put forward an initial bid of £8million.

If true it’s an offer, I suppose. Albeit a laughable one in the current market for a player in such prolific form. The 24 year old has been scoring for fun – both at the back end of last season and picking up where he left off this time around. But then again, we all know this and we all know the stats. Whilst nobody is expecting Scott to remain a Bee forever, if Watford want to drive the price up in the short term then at least it may help fund further business.

With co-director of football Rasmus Ankersen teasing FCM supporters (the club where, of course, he is also chairman) with the promise of transfer news he has also promised the same to those at Griffin Park. That said, there’s no news as to which direction.

If it is inwards, Sergio Canos was just one of the names on everybody’s lips yesterday. He’s barely been given a look in at Norwich this season whilst few could forget what he did for the Bees last time out. Surely this is just supporter ‘wishful thinking’ though?

Likewise, Ben Stevenson at Coventry City where Sky Sports claim we have bid for him whilst City boss Russell Slade has been quoted as saying he’s “not heard of any concrete bids” – despite benching the 19 year old midfielder for their recent game with Bolton Wanderers. I’m sure we’ll be celebrating like we’ve won the FA Cup if that one transpires to be correct.

Who knows though? Transfer rumours are always rife at this time of year now that the window has opened. It was once said,  “You won’t get official confirmation of anything from a fanzine”. That’s as may be but it doesn’t stop us reading them, the local and the national press for news of our team. Although we don’t, usually, focus on such speculation on these pages the Hogan story is just too big to ignore (whilst I’d be more than partial to a bit of Sergi.)

The one thing we can say for sure is that both Jota AND Alan Judge are back in training at Jersey Road. And isn’t that a sight for sore eyes. Brentford official published a series pf photographs yesterday on Twitter (some below) to show these two most popular of players doing their thing back in training. The sight of Alan running and turning was  hopefully one for the benefit of fans rather than any other clubs who may be watching.

Assuming the former then THIS is the sort of official anything I can well get behind. Here’s hoping we see them both in the red and white soon. Rather than in the shop window…

Jota was pictured on official Twitter….

….as was Alan Judge

Nick Bruzon

The Last Word On….

With Championship action back on the agenda, Ipswich Town are next up for Brentford. As such, we have the first in a new regular feature about our forthcoming home opponents :  The Last Word on….  Much like ‘kit obsessive’, which will also return ahead of most home games, this features a series of regular questions/ categories about the visitors with the results picked using no more scientific criteria than personal taste. With apologies for any glaring omissions (and to sensitive Manchester United supporters) here is: The Last Word on…..Ipswich Town

The Brentford connection (he’s played for both) : It can only be Jonathan Douglas, surely? What about Nicky Forster ? Marcus Bent, maybe? Who could forget Icelandic demigod Hermann Hreidarsson ?

But no, my choice goes to Jay Tabb.

Part of my all time Brentford XI (Szczesny, O’Connor, Evans,  Hreidarsson, Grainger, Paul Evans, Forshaw, Sinton, Tabb, Holdsworth, Blissett),  the Bees picked him up in 2000 after being released by Crystal Palace. The wing wizard went on to make 128 appearances, aswell as earning 10 Ireland U-21 caps, culminating in the doomed play off campaign (is there another type?) against Swansea City in 2006.

The ever-popular Tabby left for (then) Championship Coventry, has since tasted top-flight football with Reading before making just shy of 80 appearances for Ipswich Town.

Tabby in action for the Bees

The Brentford encounter (noteworthy game with the Bees): It is only in recent seasons where our paths have crossed with any form of regularity – certainly in my lifetime. As such, I’m going for the opening game of last season’s Championship campaign. With Brentford fans getting their initial taste of life under Marinus Dijkhuizen it also marked our first game without Jonathan Douglas – the new head coach having immediately released him from his duties at Griffin Park.

Where else but Ipswich Town would be his next destination as the Tractor Boys, with the former Bee on the bench, swept into a two goal lead despite an appalling playing surface that would quickly adopt the pitchgate monicker. Just twelve minutes remained as Dougie entered the (ploughed) field of play with the score still set at 0-2.

This was still sufficient time for Douglas to both break Jota in an ‘accidental’ challenge that would see the ever popular Spaniard miss out for the next few months and oversee a near certain victory turn into a draw. Goals from Andre Gray and James Tarkowski in the heart of Jota time rescuing a 97th minute point for Brentford.

Favourite son  (their most famous former player) : For the casual observer, there can be only one choice. Famous names from the Ipswich Town’s heyday include those such as Frans Thijssen, Arnold Muhren and Mick Mills.

However, for me it has to be John Wark. Voted the club’s all time cult hero in the BBC’s 2004 poll, who am I to disagree? A Scottish international, he was their player of the year 4 times in 6 seasons over a career that encompassed three spells from 1975 to 1996. With FA Cup and UEFA Cup winner’s medals in his cabinet (not to mention acting honours) there can be no other.

Famous fan: Ipswich have a few. Their director’s box is a veritable ‘who’s who’ of the rich and famous.Tom Chaplin from Keane, Charlie Eyebrows from Busted. Brian Cant. Yes, THE Brian Cant. Let’s hope The Tractor Boys don’t play away as wonderfully as the voice of TV’s Trumpton (kids, ask your parents).

But perhaps the biggest of all is Chester Bennington from U.S. rockers Linkin Park. Supposedly introduced to the club  by his father (a police office who had become friends with a fan from Suffolk one holiday) he has been pictured in the team colours  although it would seem he is yet to actually attend a game.

Presumably, if he did rather than sitting on the side you’d find him… in the end

Bennington. A Tractor Boy, apparently…

Best ever league performance: There are sure to be plenty but one sticks out in particular for me. A top flight destruction of Manchester United by a staggering 6-0. That’s one short of brackets.

Back in March 1980 Bobby Robson’s boys, inspired by Town’s Dutch duo of Arnold Muhren and Frans Thijssen, destroyed a Manchester United side whose fans were left sining “We want 7(seven)”. Who doesn’t?

It could have been worse but for Gary Bailey in the United goal. The Red Devil’s ‘keeper saving three penalties, one of which had even been retaken.

It’s here, in fuzzy 80’s pixel vision

Moment of ignominy :4th March 1995. Roles were reversed. And then some. Manchester United setting a Premier League record for the largest winning margin as they humbled Town 9-0. Those beautiful brackets were achieved in little over an hour as they almost made it to double figures. Incredibly, less than 44,000 were present at Old Trafford for this one. How times have changed (or perhaps Season ticket holders were just impacted by trouble on the line up from Guildford).

Manager of the century ( most famous / popular manager) : There is only ever one answer to this question – the legend that is Sir Bobby Robson. In charge at Portman Road from 1969 to 1982, he took his club to the brink of the top flight title with a win ratio of close to 45% over this 13 year period.

Double silverware came with the 1977-78 FA Cup and the 1980-81 UEFA Cup before he left to take on an eight year spell in charge of the England team that culminated in that World cup semi-final heartache against Germany .

All time high ( the club’s defining achievement): You could pick any of the victories or cups noted above but, for me, Ipswich Town have a much bigger and totally unique place in football history. Specifically,  their representation in the film Escape To Victory.

This, a regular entrant to my all time ‘top ten’ films and one of that rare breed to successfully straddle the twin themes of football and WW2 POW camp escape

The aforementioned Wark appears (naturellement). As does Russell Osman, Robin Turner, Kevin O’Callaghan and Laurie Sivell. In addition, body doubles Kevin Beattie and Paul Cooper filled in for Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone during some of the ‘match action’ scenes.

John Wark and Pele. Together. Only in Escape to Victory.

We can win this…..

Nick Bruzon

The best and worst of 2016/17 kit. Who is the Bees knees and who is in the chamber of horrors?

With Brentford finally treating fans to a quick peak at our new shirt last night, I thought I’d cast the net that bit further afield whilst we are waiting for the full reveal. Specifically to look at what is on offer so far. Will we stand above QPR, sartorially speaking? What about fellow Championship rivals Ipswich Town ? How will Middlesbrough look now they’ve finally escaped the Championship?

All feature in the best and worst of 2016/17 so far. As ever, these are judged using no more scientific a method than than my own personal opinion. And so without further ado:

The top five best:

5: Tottenham (home) Simple and stylish. Traditional white  but the offset used in  an old school shoulder bar. I’d presumed it was  nod to Victorian times but Spurs have never gone down this route before. Regardless, it looks great and we’ll even forgive them double slogans.

4: Port Vale (home). You could, likewise, have opted for their third kit. Steering away from the likes of an adidas and Nike can give an additional element of the bespoke when it comes to kit selection. As with Spurs, its all about the shoulders. As with Spurs, we’ll forgive their hashtag.

3: Bradford City (home). The Bantams have never been shy to innovate with their kits. 2016.17 sees them continue that tradition but with diagonal, rather than vertical, stripes. The result is wonderful whilst the good taste continues onto their away/third shirts too.

2: IpswichTown (home). What’s not to like? Chevron chest stripes along with contrasting sleeves to body. This really is a standout design and one I’ve not seen elsewhere this season.

 

1: Crystal Palace (away). Mention sashes and, windows aside, the two things I automatically think of are Peru and Crystal Palace. The eagles have gone for their iconic design once more, over a yellow shirt, and the results speak for themselves. Even the sponsor seems sympathetic to the design.

If they are the best (to date) then what about the other side? The five worst. Its been a bit tougher this time around, simply because it seems to really be the season for ‘safe’ kit design. Chelsea away and Manchester City home look like a marketing man’s wet dream – no doubt the phrase “designed to go with jeans” was bandied around design meetings

There has been a marked return for 80s pinstripe – Leicester City, West Brom and Tottenham all going for this option in their away kits. Great news for the lovers of retro design. not such great news for the, erm, fuller figure.

Yet there is still plenty of rough in the diamonds, of which my take on the ropier efforts is as follows:

 5:Barnet (away). I love a sash, but not like this. A staggered design in a very strange colour combination. Add in horizontal pinstripes and the phrase ‘busy’ springs to mind.

4:Southampton (home). I’m sorry. I loathed this, then liked it but now I’m back out of love with it. You can’t deny it’s striking but I’m struggling to look past the hitched up bra that the players seem to be wearing.

3: Middlesbrough (home). This isn’t sour grapes on account of their beating Brentford 6 times out of 6 in the last two seasons. Simply the fact that the low sash looks somewhat peculiar. Moreso, when you imagine this shirt on the ‘larger’ supporter where this paunch level trim has been placed in a most unflattering location.

2:Coventry City (home). Awful disappearing stripes and even worse marketing . That pose. That press release “Coventry City FC will be turning out in the famous Sky Blue and white stripes once again! “ Yes, to an extent. As long as you don’t look above the chest.

1: QPR (third). Great if you like Frazzles.

Honourable mention: Rochdale – if for no other reason that it is the winner of a competition last September for fans to design and then vote for what will now be their forthcoming kit.

Mark Devlin, Kitman Bob, Mr Benahm. If you are reading, any chance we could go attempt something similar next season? With a fan’s forum coming up on August 1, that question may well be on the agenda….

Nick Bruzon

Is bruised banana the worst of football’s rotten bunch? Or just unfortunate?

Apologies in advance for a headmasterly (is that even a word?) introduction – we will get to the football shortly. However, it’s all been a bit lively on these pages in the last few days. And by lively, I mean really quite sad – certainly in terms of the commentary being posted by a couple of, alleged, Brentford fans in response to several of the columns and the subsequent opinions of other supporters who had taken the time to write in.

I know things are frustrating on the pitch at present but I’m absolutely baffled by the motivation of these two brave keyboard warriors dripping nothing but poison, schoolyard insults and unquantifiable jibes. Are they really that bored?

Actually, and you may not believe this, it doesn’t bother me personally. I’ve heard a lot worse over the years. But it may upset others. More importantly, I detest bullying and people whose agenda seems nothing but setting out to antagonise or try causing upset whilst hiding behind the facade of a false name and computer screen. Jealousy? Bitterness? Problems at work? Small penis? Who knows?

Regardless, the point remains that any contributor remains welcome. Just please be aware that insulting fellow supporters, accusing them of being a&$eholes (or worse), and making unfounded allegations of racism and homophobia, amongst other things, may well result in such posts being deleted. And I must apologise again for sounding all ’teacher’ but there’s been some pretty desperate stuff these last few days (most of which has now been removed).

But with that out of the way, back to normality. Of course, the International break has caused the cancellation of Championship football for two weeks and, being honest, options are slim for Wednesday night. Personally, I’m fortunate enough in having the Gibraltar v Liechtenstein game to look forward to but, this aside, there is meagre fare on offer.

Even then, the football isn’t a guaranteed. Mrs Bruzon has been threatening to use this perceived gap in the football calendar to catch up on the DVD collection. The thought of having to sit through Colin Firth or Hugh Grant’s greatest hits is one to make even Slovenia v Macedonia seem a more palatable option. The possibility of being force fed the pair’s ‘bumbling romantic’ routine in ‘Four weddings’, ‘Love, Actually’  or ‘Bridget Jones’ (that one’s more Firth than Grant playing the ‘slightly awkward around girls’ role))  is making me queasy.

Likewise, there’s only so much of that nonsense out of ‘Notting Hill’ I can stomach (although if anybody is ever in the area for real, The Porchester has a menu to die for).

Notting Hill – full of drivel. Give me football any day

So, instead, it’ll be a compromise of letting Mrs B. enjoy Hugh whilst yours truly starts work on the next few ‘kit obsessive’ articles for the official matchday programme. But with the Bolton game still two weeks away, there’s plenty of time to get those ready.

As such, I thought I’d look to recreate that column here – as a one time only ‘special’ . And not so much focussing on a specific opponent but, instead, the 91 other clubs that Brentford may find themselves playing subject to promoting or relegation.

With that in mind, just what are the ‘all time best’, ‘the worst’, the ‘classic away’ and ‘the unfortunate design’ amongst football shirts across the history of English football fashion? How do you reduce this down to four shirts and moreso, when the Bees aren’t included (for now).

The answer has to be one of just going with the gut. What is the first one that springs to mind? So without further ado, using no more scientific methodology than my own personal opinion, they are….

The best: Hull City. (made by Matchwinner). Home 1992-1993. Sometimes, words are just not enough. You can only admire the audacity and sheer, unadulterated, genius that saw Hull try to interpret their ‘Tigers’ nickname into the team’s playing kit.

But it wasn’t even discreet – the footballing equivalent of Bet Lynch (kids, ask your parents).

In probably the most iconic of all the Matchwinner designs (and they’re a manufacturer who have had some standouts) Hull went for a full on tiger stripe effect. This was less a subtle nod towards their nickname and more a no holds barred attempt to create one of the most loved/loathed shirts in football history.

Incredibly, Matchwinner’s contract was cancelled midway through the following season and awarded to Pelada. However, with the company refusing to hand over the design spec, their replacements had to produce a new version – a strange, brown affair that was very much the runt of the litter. Then again, how do you top perfection?

The best football shirt of all time

The worst: Coventry City. (made by Talbot Sports). Home 1981- 1984  There wasn’t much that Jimmy Hill didn’t try to innovate in football and his stint as Coventry’s Managing Director was no exception. Indeed, such was his creativity that he made Hull City AFC’s Doctor Assem Allam look like a rank amateur in the rebranding stakes.

1981. Coventry had just announced the football league’s first club sponsorship deal with local car giants, Talbot. Yet in an audacious bid to work around the (then) ban on shirt advertising, Hill tried to get the team renamed Coventry Talbot.

Not surprisingly, this move was rejected so, instead, he simply had a home shirt designed that featured their ‘T’ logo as an integral part of the design. Worse than that, he continued the design onto the shorts. It was immediately banned from television and consigned to football’s home of infamous design.

The worst ever kit?

The classic away: Coventry City. (made by Admiral) 1978-1980  Even now, I don’t know if this qualifies as being touched by the mark of genius or insanity. Whichever, you can’t deny it’s  eye catching.

The Admiral away kit from the end of the 70s shouldn’t work. Indeed, it is often voted as the worst kit of all time in supporter polls. Bedecked in chocolate brown with white piping that continued from the shirt all the way down the shorts, it really is an oddity. Yet one that is so odd it’s stunning. Genuinely . Even that most heinous of kit crimes, continuing the shirt design onto the shorts, somehow works here.

But with the bad also comes good

The unfortunate design: Arsenal. (made by Adidas) Away 1991-1993.  Affectionately dubbed the bruised banana, this mixes the traditional Arsenal yellow with a series of interlocking chevron stripes that make this one seem as though it belongs more at the bottom of a fruit bowl.

Personally, I think this banana analogy has always been a tad harsh If anything, this looks more like a plain yellow shirt that has been run over by a JCB and left a somewhat unsightly tyre print.

Tyre print? Rotten banana?

And if you’d like to read more… over the next month or so the match day programme still has kit obsessive articles to come on Bristol City, Cardiff City, Bolton Wanderers and, of course, Fulham.

Enjoy. Please. And if you don’t, just remember this is only a bit of fun.

Nick Bruzon

Bees go Double Dutch to welcome in new era

In the end it was the least surprising managerial news since David Moyes got the boot from Manchester United or the rumours surrounding Mark Warburton were confirmed back in February. Marinus Dijkhuizen, from Eredivisie club S.B.V. Excelsior, has been appointed as the new head coach of Brentford football club. Coming with him “to assist” (presumably the deputy-head) is fellow Dutchman Roy Hendriksen.

Marinus’ name had been tossed around the media and social networks all last week, so his eventual appointment had been widely anticipated.

There was to be no shock out of leftfield although this is a bold enough step in the future of the football club as it is (especially considering the short term expectation levels he will be under in the eyes of some supporters, given the excellent two years under Warb’ guidance).

The official club site has the full interview with him here, although there can’t be many who haven’t already been through this with a fine toothed comb to see what nuggets they can glean about the new man.

 

To read the rest of this article, season 2015/16 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full, as :   Ready. Steady. Go Again. : Brentford FC season review 2015 – 2016

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, it’s the annual clean up to make more space on the site for the inevitable follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

But wait, like all the best infomercials, there’s more. The last three seasons of the Last Word : Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup; Tales from the football village and Ready. Steady. Go Again are also available in one combined volume as: 

Brentford Football Club – The Bees are going up. Season reviews: 2013/14, 2014/15 & 2015/16 

We did. And we still are ! 

 

Is a draw enough with just two games left?

Well, that was all a bit of an anti-climax. After Ipswich Town and Wolves had shared the points with a 1-1 in the lunchtime game, and Derby County were doing their best to lose at Huddersfield (eventually getting a 4-4 draw), Brentford had an excellent chance to close the gap in the play off race. Instead, it ended up 2-2 as Bolton Wanderers were let back into the game via a defensive faux pas to match any of those we’ve seen this season.

Warbs would later describe this as, “A mistake, simple as that”, but what a howler…

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further on.

Bolton shirts – penalty area 51?

View from the terrace – Judge went close with a free kick before providing the assist (on both goals)

Set your watch by those sixtieth minute subs (although 66 is the most popular)

BBC viewers saw Clem at Ashton Gate for another draw

And Murphy must score…. 66 is the magic number

Just when the Championship couldn’t get any tighter, it does. As Brentford and Ipswich Town shared a point in their 1-1 draw to consolidate 6^th and 7^th (seventh) places respectively, defeat for Middlesbrough and draws for Watford and Derby (thanks to Clayton Donaldson’s late equaliser) mean that the top four teams in the table all have 66 points.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further on.

Woofy McWoofington shows his true colours once more

BBC FLS viewers see Murphy set to pounce

Clem can’t make it 7 (seven) wins yet