Tag Archives: Derby

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

11 Jan

Saturday morning. Brentford are set to host QPR in a few hours time. The chance to inflict one more Griffin Park defeat on our near neighbours too delicious an opportunity to ignore. The potential of closing the gap between Leeds United, West Bromwich Albion and ourselves to a mere six points an even bigger incentive. Whilst both of those have eminently winnable games later today, keeping the heat on two teams who have only picked up a single win apiece out of their last five and six Championship games respectively is no bad thing in the psychological stakes.  Assuming, of course, we do our thing !

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Another of these would be lovely

My word, this is what football is all about. The QPR fans can pretend it doesn’t matter. I’ve seen plenty of talk from their supporters making out that this is no derby, that there is nothing between our respective sides and that any talk of rivalry with Brentford is something purely played out in our heads.

Really? It didn’t feel that way when we were trashing the pants off them (again) at Loftus Road earlier in the season – you can stop crying now. When they tried to put us out of existence and move in back in 1967. When Martin Rowlands was kissing the badge – hopefully a doctor has now helped clear up the infection. When they were deriding us for our bus stop status. When there is a mere 5.2 miles (aka a short hop on the 237) separating our two grounds. Make that 4.2 miles next season when we move in to Lionel Road.

Try telling me it doesn’t matter

With Brentford flying high and achieving success within our means rather than incurring the huge fines that come with overspending it smacks of jealousy. With the Bees all set to move into a state of the art stadium whilst our neighbours languish in their matchbox it stinks of bitterness. With The Bees having a visionary owner rather than being a club going through the motions and struggling for a Plan B it reeks of huge inferiority complex. 

Yes, I’ll absolutely acknowledge they’ve been in the top flight more often than us and have been picked up the odd piece of silverware. Well done. Congratulations. That was then. This is now. Live on former glories at your peril. We’ve bided our time, caught them with their pants down and are now the biggest and best Championship club in West London. That’s beyond doubt – if for no other reason, the table doesn’t lie. Their supporters can pretend it doesn’t matter or doesn’t hurt all they want. I’m not having a bar of it. To borrow a line from Hamlet (Shakespeare. rather than the cigars), “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

As such, I’ll take particular pleasure in really raising the roof at Griffin Park today. Of knowing how important this game is. Of relishing how extra special it feels every time we beat the lices of QPR or Fulham. How extra sweet those points taste in games of this nature every time we add another three to our total. I’m not alone, either. Griffin Park is sure to be a cauldron of noise. If the QPR fans want to kid themselves it doesn’t matter and prefer to take their own game of Loftus Road library simulator on the road then all the better.

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It’s all gone quiet over there – again.

Ok – I’m not a complete idiot and fully appreciate that going gung-ho comes with it’s own risks. Yet this is how I feel about this one. To be honest, this is how genuinely confident I am every time The Bees run out to play at present. Regardless of opposition. Matthew Benham and his team have transformed this club. Every time we think we’ve seen a ‘best ever’ Brentford, they just go and reinvent the model (no pun intended). The football being played is like nothing we’ve ever seen. Goals flying in and the meanest defence in the division. Scintillating attack combined with a back line that oozes confidence. That’s not arrogance but a simple fact borne out by the statistics at the top of the table. That early season wobble as we found our feet nothing more than a hazy memory. For crying out loud, back then we even lost to Birmingham City….

So yes, these comments obviously come with a fair amount of home bias. With lashings of self-belief in what we do. Of course they will – it’s a Brentford blog page and we’re playing some quite incredible football at present. If that upsets anybody well tough. Get over it.  Everything we have done so far has been on absolute merit. That’s not to say the job is done. Anything but. Pride comes before a fall and if we even take our foot off the gas slightly or think a game is won before it kicks off then that’s a recipe for disaster. Thomas Frank will remind the players of that. For the supporters, our job – no, our privilege – is the chance to keep it loud and enjoy this moment. Every week sees our time at Fortress Griffin Park grow ever shorter. Let’s make sure we go out on a high.

My word. Hurry up 12.30pm. I can’t wait. Genuinely can’t wait. There’ll be Kevin Keegan levels of loving it if we do what I know we can. Bring it on and see you there.

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I’d love it etc etc etc

Nick Bruzon

Let’s do this. Come on…..!!!

10 Jan

It’s all about lunchtime TV at Griffin Park. The Brentford – Leicester City FA Cup tie has been picked for live coverage with the BBC deciding that this is the game for their  Saturday 12.45pm slot. Of more critical importance, we’ve got QPR coming down tomorrow for another. This one kicks off live on Sky at 12.30pm. But, frankly, watching it from the comfort of the sofa is the last place I’d choose to be. There’s nothing like a West London derby and this is, in theory, our last one at home before we move to Lionel Road. In theory, he says. The Bees and Fulham are both sitting in the play-off spots at present……..

Let’s get back to more immediate matters though. QPR and then Leicester City. 

First up, the visit of the not so super hoops. Anybody present for our 3-1 win at Loftus Road would know how incredible an atmosphere the Brentford fans generated. How exhilarating our performance. How easily we opened up our hosts, time and again. The BMW’s motor purring. Benrahma’s penalty and celebration entering the pantheon of club folklore as they ran to celebrate on the touchline with Peter Gilham.

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Back of the net…!!!

We know what this game means to Peter. You can bet tomorrow he’ll be referring to them as ‘our visitors’. Their name the most blasphemous of phrases following the well documented events of 1967. He’s not alone in having that added desire to win this fixture. We’ve a fine recent record against neighbours separated only by a distance of just over five miles and a short hop on the 237 from Westfield to a bus stop in Hounslow. It is one we will be absolutely pumped to continue on Saturday. Play-offs and promotion are, perhaps, equaled by local bragging rights as a motivation factor. Albeit, we’ll very much be playing the game and the team in front of us rather than the occasion.

Whilst Brentford are flying, QPR have been very much on a bumpy track recently. Although two wins in a row (wow!!) in January may suggest a positive start to 2020, prior to that they had a dreadful December – picking up just one one point from the last four games  – and a winless November. All being well,  vague form – back to back wins against bang average teams – will be arrested as easily as it has raised it’s head. Especially if we can get that early goal.

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Results at home to QPR have been wonderful in recent seasons

And if we don’t, patience will be the order of the day. The bench is starting to look stronger whilst the team just keep on going for the full 90 minutes. Me banging on won’t change this. You know it and I know it. Thomas Frank and his team are flying. We’ve all seen what Brentford can do. I just can’t wait for the opportunity to try and close the gap on the top two. With our game taking place at lunchtime, victory would take us to within 6 points of Leeds United and West Brom. How nice to do that at the expense of Rangers.

As for Leicester City and the FA Cup, TV was always an option and given their fixture list the Saturday lunchtime seemed likely. Now it has been confirmed that the BBC have selected us. As such, kick off is now 12.45 on Saturday 25th with tickets going on sale Friday afternoon to existing season ticket holders. Full details are on the official website.

There’s not too much else to say at this juncture. If for no other reason, the (subsequently corrected) error in yesterday’s piece that forgot about us playing Nottingham Forest the Tuesday after Leicester. Oops.  Besides, I think we’ve done this one to death now.

Very much time to concentrate on the league. And it’s not often you can say that when you are still in the cup. Bring it on tomorrow. Get on the bus. Get off in Hounslow. See you there….

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Just a bus stop in Hounslow…..

Nick Bruzon

It’s………….Wayne Rooney’s Account

3 Jan

Brentford host Stoke City in the FA Cup tomorrow. Liverpool moved 13 points clear at the top of the Premier League, having gone unbeaten in a year after yesterday’s 20 win over Sheffield United. However, none of that matters compared to the 2-1 victory for Wayne Rooney’s Derby County over Barnsley, played out live on Sky Sports last night to the entire planet. A dominant Wayne Rooney destroyed the Tykes, as the newly appointed Wayne Rooney’s Derby County captain provided both assists and scored a brace on his long awaited debut.

You’ll forgive me for feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the Derby County love in that took place on Thursday evening. Or, specifically, that surrounding the all time England goal scoring record holder. I hadn’t realised. If only somebody had said. About a dozen times. Every touch from the stocky looking midfielder was greeted as though it had been played by Pele. Every pass seemingly as sublime as a Cristiano Ronaldo through ball. 

Only an idiot would fail to realise that Wayne’s arrival was going to attract attention. That was guaranteed from the announcement of his signing, the gifting of his traditional ’32’ shirt and the protected lead up to this one. By the time the 34 year old finally made his debut it was beyond all previously seen hype levels. The records set by Frank Lampard’s Derby County being obliterated within moments of coverage starting. You’d be forgiven for thinking the family Rooney had somehow hacked Sky’s account to influence the coverage, such was the fascination. Except, of course, that sort of stuff could never happen. Carry on like this and they’re going to shit themselves next Saturday when the cameras are back at Griffin Park for Brentford – QPR.

Except, of course, they won’t. We aren’t global. We don’t have his former glories. His baggage. His wife, who was there looking on from the stands and even got her own graphic. His wage bill.

Good luck to Derby County. Limping past rapidly improving Barnsley, to stay in 17th place in the Championship, is only the first step in what will need to become a very much long term project. Who knows? Wayne could be the man to inspire them. Filling the Championship void left by the departure of Aston Villa’s John Terry.  Inspiring his younger team mates to retain their former glories. It’s going to be a lot easier – for them and for us – without the eyes of the world watching.

Two tweets summed it up for me last night. This is what it felt like for anyone outside the Pride Park love in.

There we go. The high bar has been set. No doubt the media will now be tripping over themselves to shoot him down the second anything, no matter how small, fails to go to plan. Derby and Bet 32 have take an a massive gamble. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.

Getting back to TW8, Brentford and Stoke meet in the FA Cup third round on Saturday. With promotion to the Premier League very much a genuine aspiration at present, what would you do if you were Thomas Frank? Give the B team and substitutes a run out or stick with the team that has done so well over these last few months?

For me, Clive, it’s an odd one. I absolutely love the FA Cup and have advocated full strength for year after year,. The chance to progress in this famous old competition too big an opportunity to cast aside with abandon. The potential of entertaining a Liverpool or Manchester City a delicious incentive for reaching the fourth round. Moreso in what is our final season in Griffin Park.

Yet, yet, yet….. Bloody hell. We’re third in the Championship. The gap to seventh place is starting to grow. The two teams above us – Leeds United and West Bromwich Albion, whilst still well, well clear are both starting to wobble. Relatively. Each team having a current league record of only one win in five. If ever there was a time to give the first team a chance to catch their breath then now is the moment that Thomas Frank could be forgiven. For letting the broader squad stay match fit.

I’m absolutely with him on this one. I’m fully expecting the BMW to stay in the garage. For Luke Daniels to be named captain. For Julian Jeanvier to start this one after Ethan Pinnock as come in and performed heroics alongside Pontus. For the long awaited debut of Halil Dervisoglu – should clearance come through 🙂 .

And, it would seem, I’m not alone. As ever, the medium of Twitter summarising in one comment more than all this gubbins could ever do….

Whomever Thomas picks, it’s still a special occasion. Still a game we’ll be going out 100% to win. Whilst I’m absolutely with Luis on the team selection strategy, it doesn’t mean the occasion will be enjoyed any less. The desperation to win as enormous as ever. Peter Gilham busting a gut to big up the crowd. Tin foil trophies being hoisted high in the sky. The lure of Wembley still as strong as ever.

I can’t wait for this one. Bring it on!! Whatever the team.

FA Cup tin foil

Nothing says FA Cup tradition like a home made trophy

Nick Bruzon

You can shove your clackers where the sun don’t shine.

14 Dec

This is it. Show me somebody that says Brentford v Fulham is an irrelevance and I’ll show you somebody who is pointless. I absolutely LOVE this fixture. Forget the fact that a Bees win will see us overtake the currently third placed Cottagers, there is no bigger priority than victory and local bragging rights. Again. Yes, I’d love the chance to make ground on the teams in the play-off pack and even at the top, where Leeds United are yet to start their customary collapse and West Bromwich Albion are matching them point for point. But, for once, they are very much second place in the importance stakes. A supplementary bonus that will come should we make it another three points at Griffin Park.

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Stuart Dallas – one of THE Brentford moments

Jota in the last minute. Neal Maupay getting that late, late equaliser at the Cottage. Stuart Dallas scoring my favourite ever goal. The one that came just before our third and fourth in the absolute hammering administered in our neighbours’ back yard. The reaction to all those goals in the face of such sterile awfulness making them all the sweeter. The rivalry with QPR is as much one based on their sheer awfulness. With Fulham, it’s as much pity. A club more toe-curling than a pair of Ali Bongo’s slippers yet one which, whilst it feels like we’re a cat toying with a spider, I take no greater pleasure in beating.

Take you gin bar. Your statue. Your neutral stand. Your foam fingers. Your away game cake. Your clackers. Your run out music for the warm up. If you want irrelevance then there it is. That’s not football. That’s nonsense. Anodyne happy-clappy crud from a club with pretensions of grandeur yet, despite only having three sides of their stadium available, are currently having to advertise on local radio in a bid to entice supporters to their Christmas futures. For the record, Griffin Park is sold out.

That’s the tub-thumping and chest beating done. The simple facts of this game are that Brentford are on fire. Scoring goals for fun and looking rock solid at the back. Thomas Frank has the team more than up for it. Ollie Watkins is breathing down the neck of Aleksander Mitrovic at the top of the Championship goal scorers chart. Pontus, Pinnock and Jeanvier (not a law firm) proving on Wednesday night that, sometimes, three into two does go. A late switch in the defence sufficient to lock out the waves of Cardiff pressure as Brentford climbed to 7th in the table.

One does have to take notice of the position Fulham are in. Third doesn’t happen by accident and, despite their absolute car-crash of a campaign last season, they have started to score goals and pick up the points once more. Or, should that be, had started to pick up the points once more. Back to back defeats have seen them wobble, allowing Leeds and West Brom to break clear whilst the chasing pack have caught right up. Breathing down the victor’s neck to a position where only four points separate them from QPR in 12th. No pressure, eh?

Logic and common sense go out of the window at this stage. Whilst we’d normally take a common sense and considered opinion on these pages, it’s a West London derby. A mere five and a half miles separate our two clubs if you were to drive. That’s less as the crow flies but involves swimming. Only Loftus Road is closer to Griffin Park and you can be sure that the Fulham fans will be here en-masse. Perhaps we’ll even hear them. Stranger things have happened. 

Thomas Frank. If you are reading (you aren’t) get Peter Gilham in there changing room pre kick-off. Let him give your team talk. Let’s do this. I can’t wait. See you there…..

Jota Fulham last minute

No caption needed

Nick Bruzon

Near brackets, no Dalsgaard, shirt news and a Bee appears in France…

6 Sep

My word. Who’d be an actual journalist for a living at times like these? What do you talk about when there’s nothing to talk about? Apart from trawling Twitter or making rumours up. Thank goodness for the blogger’s ability to pick up, and put down, the keyboard as and when the feeling takes hold. To be able to play around with photoshop, on an ad-hoc basis,  just for the fun of doing so. Another International break symptomised this perfectly with last week’s humping of Derby County already feeling an eternity away. Instead,  primary focus in our house now being on Gibraltar. They restarted football proceedings for us last night and ended up one shy of a home bracketing against Denmark. It was a game which saw the World Cup’s Henrik Dalsgaard of Brentford start on the bench. England have their own run out on Saturday against, well I don’t even know being honest. Without checking. Looks at internet – Bulgaria.  It is the easiest qualifying system since records began in a tournament that it is practically impossible for any team with pretensions of ‘being any good’ not to make the final rounds. Even Scotland are still in with a chance at present. Mathematically.  Back on the club scene we’ve talk of the Kurupt FM Brentford away shirt aswell as an overseas appearance for our fan engagement office, Ryan Murrant, Plus the latest on The Last Word Fantasy Football tournament.

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Gibraltar packed their boots for another Euro qualifier…

First up, Euro 2020. Regular readers may be aware of the family connection that sees yours truly focus on Gibraltar whenever an International opportunity presents itself. As ever, the Sky Sports smudge button was pressed as the boys from the Rock had their latest run out on Thursday. That is, the Gibraltar first team rather than Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage although, to be honest the home side could have done with the aforementioned A-listers to break in to the Danish defence. 

Whilst any Bees fans tuning in for a look at Dalsgaard would have been disappointed by his absence, such was the impression made by visitors Denmark that even had he started, opportunities to see our man in action would have been slim to zero. An early goal against. A dubious penalty just after half time and it was game over. Well 6-0 saw it technically game over at full time but it was never really game on. There was to be no close run battle with illustrious visitors as had been seen when the Republic of Ireland came to play. Instead, dreams of another notch on the victor’s bed post will need to remain a dream. For now. 

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If only…

As for England, well of course we’ll be watching. The Griffin have the game on the big screen for those wanting to try and recreate that incredible World Cup atmosphere. Albeit, a group of five teams where the top two go through by default doesn’t have quite the same level of jeapordy as 2018’s penalty shoot out. But one can’t deny these occasions are always fun and, if nothing else, its always a great opportunity to get out at a time when we are starved of a Championship fixture. I really can’t see anything beyond an England win in this one. The days of the international surprise, at least in qualifying, are few and far between these days. As Gibraltar know too well. Perhaps Scotland will prove us wrong this evening. Stranger things have happened…..

The Griffin and England football – always awesome

With no on-pitch action at present, the major talking point at Griffin Park has been the much rumoured Kurupt FM take on the away shirt.

Screenshot 2019-09-06 at 16.28.48I took a wander past the club earlier this week and spoke to a very well connected source who suggested that a shirt is most definitely coming . And all being well, next month. 

This is cracking news and the line to pick these beauties up is sure to be a long one. Especially as I understand that we’ve already run out of adult M and L away shirts (albeit more are on order so stand by your metaphorical guns, Ecoworld fans).

Next up, Ryan Murrant. We all know about our Fan Engagement manager’s social media presence and his wonderful role at the club . About the gold award for Family Excellence given to Brentford last season. But what about the man himself?

Well, if you’d like to know more (to coin a phrase we’ve not used in a while) then how about this piece on French website ’fanstriker’ . It’s in depth and then some but paints a fascinating picture on behind the scenes life at Griffin Park. Enjoy…

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And finally, Fantasy Football. We’re now four weeks in to The Last Word FF league. Four rounds are down and only one player, Simon Burns, is left with a 100% record after the weekly head to head games. Remember, there’s a shirt for the winner so keep those transfers coming and those teams fresh.  

And if Ryan is reading, that’s fiftieth (50th) place so far for his own ‘Enter Team Name’. Remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint…..

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Nick Bruzon

Thomas Frank’s Demolition Derby.

1 Sep

Well that was something else. Brentford tanked Derby County in a game that finished 3-0 and could easily have seen the scoreline double that. It really was as dominant a performance as one could hope for against a team who, back to full strength after their mid-week changes against Nottingham Forest in the cup (that worked well), offered nothing. Their manager Philip Cocu would afterwards accuse his team of ‘arrogance’. It looked more like impotence to me, with the Rams unable to penetrate as the Bees ran riot.

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Raining (goals) at Griffin Park

Brentford were boosted by the news that Saïd Benrahama was finally able to start a game. What a performance he put in. But then you could say the same for Bryan Mbuemo on the right and Sergi Canos coming from the wing back position. With Rico pushing high on the other side  it really was about as attacking a team one could expect to see. Topping it off was Ollie Watkins in centre forward role. Norgaard and Jenssen are becoming stronger and stronger in the middle whilst the final three of Jeanvier, Pontus and Dalsgaard were rock solid in the rare moments of the visitors breaking through. David Raya was in goal but it could have been David Bowie and we’d probably still have kept a clean sheet.

Mbuemo got the first on 17, after Watkins had been denied whilst the favour was returned just 60 second later. Ollie sliding home after a wonderful move. Mbuemo supplying the killer pass but don’t underestimate the work performed by Sergi Canos in either goal. He was magnificent. Devastating. Destructive. Left the Rams tied up in knots.

That it was only three at half time is a question to rank alongside where the Derby County of last season have gone. Back to their parent clubs from loans, perhaps ? Either way, there was no answer to the waves of relentless Brentford pressure. Ollie wrapped up the scoring before going in for his half-time cuppa but the Bees could equally have had a penalty after Keogh was adjudged not to have handballed it. Hmmm. Move along Derby, nothing to see here.

The second half continued as the first had ended. Bees on top. Derby nowhere. To be fair, they did have a shot but Raya had it covered. And that was it from the visitors. If anything Brentford could, probably should, have made it at least four. If not more. Mbuemo seemed clean through with the goal gaping although the benefit of hindsight and TV show the good work done by Roos in the County goal. Likewise, when Ollie found himself sprinting clear for the hat-trick chance. Keeper Roos came bouncing out of the box to chest it away.

The return of dancing Buzzette and Saïd had the crowd buzzing from the off. The enthusiasm was tangible. Whether Peter Gilham almost exploding as he announced the second goal through to Benrahama’s post-substitution long walk back to the dugouts, whipping up the home fans behind the goal to further heights of excitement. And there he was at full time once more, taking HB’s request for a selfie into something quite unexpected. The positivity coursing through the team a joy to behold. The relationship with the supporters as strong as ever.

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Saïd helps HB take the search for the perfect selfie to the next level.

Thomas Frank noted at full time that “The first 45 minutes is one of the best I have seen at Griffin Park since I have been here”. There can’t be any out there who would disagree. The second wasn’t bad either, although could never compare to the explosive opener. Had one of those other chances gone in then who knows what might have been. However, to be anything but happy with such a comprehensive win over opponents who came so close to reaching the top flight last time out would be churlish. County weren’t even at the races. Brentford, like a champion derby winner.

The month has ended with Brentford recording wins over Derby and up at Middlesbrough. I’m still bamboozled by the points dropped against Birmingham City whilst we were a lick of paint away from maintaining our recent domination of Leeds United. Ollie is looking more and more comfortable up top whilst I’m loving Bryan Mbuemo. Here’s hoping September picks up where August left off.

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Men of the moment. Sergi and Ollie needed for a full house

Nick Bruzon

A positive end to an awful week. Can we go one better today?

31 Aug

Normality returns today. Kind of. Brentford host Derby County at Griffin Park having reached the end of a week that saw Bury expelled from the football league and Bolton Wanderers narrowly avoid the same fate. We’ve updated TV news, with the 237 derby game at Loftus Road seeing us becoming a diet version of Sky Sports Leeds (that’s two appearances in as many months for us)  and there was the brilliance from Brentford ‘official’ on Twitter yesterday. Have they done their best ever tweet?

First up, the visit from Frank Lampard’s former club, Frank Lampard’s Derby County. Or just Derby County as we can thankfully call them once more. That really was getting tedious. Say what you want about the Rams but they came so close last time . There was the wonderful turn around against Leeds United as the Elland Road side fell apart, again, in the play-off semi before suffering the ultimate pain. They could only look on as John Terry lifted the winner’s trophy high into the Wembley sky and Aston Villa reached the Premiership.

That end of season agony has continued this time around. Whilst Leeds have picked themselves up and gone again, and Villa have now recorded their first top flight points under Dean Smith, things haven’t been quite so easy for Derby. Like the Bees, they’ve only picked up one win so far and that was against hapless Huddersfield Town. Both clubs find themselves in the bottom third of the fledgling table and will, obviously, be keen to record the win that sees things heading back up in the direction they are more accustomed to.

The news is positive. For Brentford. FloJo is set to miss out for out guests, as does Bogle. We’ve the potential return of Said Benrahma to the starting XI whilst there’s a chance for our first look at new striker Nikoloas Karelis. He looks an absolute unit – and that’s just from the picture on the squad page – so it will be interesting to see how he fits in as the meat in the sandwich of our always impressive wide men.

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Karelis – the meat in a wide man sandwich

Even better though, word on the street reaches me that Buzzette is set to return. Whilst, of course, she has been present this season it is just that. Being present. The normal spring in the step and enthusiastic dancing have been somewhat lacking. With it, the team’s fortunes have been on the down turn. Has she been carrying an undisclosed injury? Perhaps struggling with a protracted summer holiday? Either way, I gather her coach has had a word, she’s been declared fully fit and back to normal so we can once more expect to see her busting those inspirational moves, throwing shapes and doing whatever else it is the kids do as the discotheque.

Away from Griffin Park, I’m at a loss for what to say about the Bury / Bolton situation. From the impotent handling of matters by the EFL through to their apparent willingness to let one our our oldest clubs go to the wall, it has been heartbreaking. Gigg Lane was the first away ground I visited, back in the 80s, and was a journey I always looked to make whenever possible. Seeing this play out has been agonising.

I’m just an onlooker – once can’t begin to even imagine the pain that their supporters and staff are going through right now. It’s shameful that it was allowed to get this far and then play out in such a crushing denouement. All we’ve been left with is a dead club and the footballing equivalent of Donald Trump offering ‘thoughts and prayers’ after a mass shooting.

The only positives, if there can be any, from this shameful situation are that, at least, Bolton are still with us. That does then lead to whole host of further questions to the EFL as to how one club can be given a further extension but not the other. And it is where we get the other news, which I read this morning. Bury aren’t giving up and there is an interesting piece on the BBC in regards to potential legal action, given the way that the final nail was driven into their coffin. There is talk of additional bids being ignored, amongst other things. It is well worth a read and can be found here.

The whole situation is all the more ironic given the amounts of money being pumped into the higher level of the game by Sky, amongst others. Their own decision to rebrand an articifical ‘deadline day’ with ticking countdown clock was a shameful one and , rightly, came in for criticism from all quarters. Dignity? Respect? Who needs them when there’s a joke angle that can be had at the expense of people’s livelihoods and a club’s very existence? 

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Stay classy, Sky.

And now they’ve gone and picked us for TV. We’re already on at Barnsley in late September. Make that twice in successive months with the rematch against Mark Warburton, Yoann Barnet and QPR has been moved to Monday 28 October. You can understand why. Any history aside, there are sure to be goals in this now with Barbet currently shipping penalties for fun this season. His ‘go again’ key getting a right hammering at present. Although knowing us, it’ll be the fans in the upper tier returning any spot kick rather than the not so super-hoops’ goalkeeper ! Come on lads, prove me wrong.    

There was a positive end to the week. At least on social media where ‘official’ are definitely finding their feet after the never forgotten shame of #trophyfriends. Friday’s 4-1 humping of QPR in a U-23 game was most notable for our second goal. The prolific A. Trialist, a player who has had more clubs than former Bee Steve Claridge, popped up to head home from Ali Coote. This, in a move which began form a short corner (not a typo).     

So it was all the better when ‘official’ got in on the act, with one of those goal gifs/memes ( I never know which is which) made popular by Bristol City. Who needs comedy acting when you have comedy word kits. Magnificent. I want one.

Great work all round. See you in the club shop at lunchtime. 

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A Trialist. From a short corner. What’s not to love?

Nick Bruzon

The top 12 ‘search terms’ lead to an awkward repeat of past form.

27 Aug

The calm between the storms. Brentford have been and done with the game at Charlton Athletic. The visit of Derby County awaits. I’m not going to deny that Sunday saw somewhat of a cop out in regards to the blog – albeit I stand by what I did. Sometimes, less is more and one can only hope that is the approach taken this coming weekend. Having all the possession and chances counts for nothing if we can’t quite do the business in the final section of the pitch. Something that I am sure will be put right when we receive our latest visit from Frank Lampa….. sorry, old habits die hard.

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Being John Frankovich  – no longer a thing 

But with a lazy approach to the weekend review and nothing really happening on bank holiday Monday (from a footballing perspective), that Derby game seems a long way off. On the plus side, it has allowed a chance to play around with the backend static data on these pages. This is territory we visited back in the very early days of this site. So early that  Uwe Rosler was still in charge at the time. 

Screenshot 2019-08-26 at 21.30.58It was a chance to look at the search terms used by the Internet ( I can take no credit for that side of things) to drive people to one of these articles.

Phrases that, when typed into AOL (Ah, Connie – whatever happened to you and your interactive dress?), Google or Ask Jeeves would then suggest that there may be a relevant article on these pages. Or an interesting one. Your definition of both may, of course, vary.

Yet whilst proving a great source of data, these ‘search terms’ also reveal that there are some people out there with a very niche set of preferences. And that the combination of seemingly innocent key words used in the context of a football blog may be less than innocent when typed in by the (probably) sticky fingers of cyber nerds.

People have ventured here whilst looking for everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. Some of them Brentford related. Some of them not. Amongst other things, these include:

sex pies

Frank Mcparland milk

Sam Warburton naked

Sam Saunders rubber glove

Dickie Davies Asahi beer

Helen Chamberlain leather

Barry Hearn Chuckle brothers

How much is Matthew Benham worth

Harlee Dean fishslapping

Buzzette snapchat

Feet pictures

And my particular favourite : Nick Prochwitz tattoo. 

The mind boggles as to whether that was somebody looking to get one or simply checking out the player’s own bodywork . Either way, not good. 

Sam and Dickie. Both have been pictured over the years

Yet whilst looking through these search terms, one in particular caught my eye. Super Victor. In an instant I was taken back three and a bit years to a piece written at the start of the Euro 2016 football tournament and UEFA’s chosen mascot. He of the aforementioned name. Something particularly pertinent given the recent piece about the 2020 equivalent, and it still hurts to say this….…. ‘Skillzy’. Urghh. Feel so dirty.

If the top knotted friend of the children is bad, and he/she/it IS, then it’s nothing compared to the accident that was Super Victor. In more ways than one. You’d think UEFA would learn and hark back to the simpler days of Sweden 1992’s ‘Rabbit’.

Ironically, one so popular he was ported over directly from the previous tournament in 1988 – the only time a mascot has appeared twice. But no, instead of a reproducing rabbit they went for Super Victor. And by the time he had been plastered all over the 2016 tournament, it was too late.

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(l-r) Rabbit 1988/92 ; Super Victor 2016 ; ‘Skillzy’ 2020

Only then was it discovered that he shared his name with what was tactfully described as a 5.5kg, 10 inch long ‘industrial sized’ marital aid. People checking out the story at the time were advised not to look up ‘Super Victor Toy’ or visit online adult ‘shopping sites’. Please don’t do it now. I did, for research purposes, and have had to delete my history.

Connie and Jeeves would likely have gone into meltdown whilst nobody wanted any embarrassing incidents in the name of research. The Guardian were amongst those who lead the story back then. They also quoted a source from UEFA who advised, “All we can say is that they [the sex aids] are not produced by Uefa.

Given Braemar Road JJ had broken the whole ‘Skillzy’ story, I felt duty bound to return the favour last night and introduce him to Super Victor. NOT like that. Get your minds out of the gutter. His own take was as special as last time: 

 That mascot really is taking a shocker but, mate- if there’s anything even more wrong than a mashup between Corey out of Slipknot and something from Japanese Kabuki theatre, it’s a six year old with a serious coke habit…

And, as ever, I can’t top that. JJ – here are the keys to the Last Word site. Over to you sir…

Nick Bruzon

Almost there. How about a few facts?

1 Aug

We’re that close now you can almost smell the aroma of bovril drifting across the forecourt. Thursday lunchtime and the season proper kicks off for Brentford in little more than 48 hours with the visit of Birmingham City. A team whose ‘yoof’, it would seem, are still learning how to spell ‘obsessed’. Saturday afternoon can’t come soon enough, even despite the somewhat dubious allure of Luton Town v Jonathan Woodgate’s Middlesbrough ™ on Friday evening to open proceedings in the Championship. That in itself, a game packed with intrigue as the former Leeds man and his club attempt to pick up the media inflicted hype gauntlet laid down by Frank Lampard’s former club Frank Lampard’s Derby County last season. But before things kick off at Griffin Park, we’ve already been dealt a blow. Two words designed to strike fear into the heart of any supporter. Gavin. Ward.

I’ve been away this week. That’s not information of any particular interest beyond being somewhat out of the loop in terms of keeping track of all our news. Re-enabling the 4G after landing at Heathrow yesterday evening produced a flurry of interesting updates. Maupay, Watkins and Benrahma all still at Brentford. Brighton and Crystal Palace apparently sniffing but nothing much more out there beyond that.

Even the usual Sheffield United ‘nailed on’ news has died a death. For now. It won’t be long before they’re definitely going there. Or Aston Vila. Or both. If you believe every rumour you read. Ahh, it’s all part and parcel of this time of year. Just grit your teeth, clench butts and hang on for the ride until that window slams shut.

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Flying in to Heathrow via Lionel Road – not a drone in sight, this time.

What we can say for sure is that Matthew Benham’s model (the mathematical one rather than Cliff in the brown/orange shirt) has struck again. Or maybe it was Cliff. Either way, the ‘in’ door has swung once more and the ceremonial half-chewed biro been cracked out with the news that we’ve signed Ecuadorian wide-man Joel Valencia from Polish champions Piast Gliwice. A player who certainly seemed happy to be here, that’s for sure. 

His signing gives even more choice on the flanks (read in to that whatever you need to – I have no intel. In general) and whilst he may be somewhat of an unknown quantity to those of us in the stands, have no doubt that the DOFs and Mr. B know their onions when it comes to talent spotting. The kinks in the machine that brought us the likes of Marinus and Nick Proschwitz seem to have been well and truly ironed out as our recruitment model has gone from strength to strength. 

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Welcome Joel (#)

Will he start against Birmingham City? I think the question is more a case of who will start against Birmingham City ? With the big three names barely even being mentioned, let alone featuring, over the close season it gives Thomas Frank an almighty selection headache. Of the best sort. I’m presuming that should any of Neal, Ollie and Said be deemed match fit then the bench is the best they can hope for. But, and has been said many times, yours truly is just the numpty on the terrace rather than a font of any serious knowledge. Then again, the prospect of bringing on Neal Maupay to run at new Blues captain Harlee Dean, with Gavin Ward holding all the cards in the middle in his role as referee, is a quite fantastic one. 

Whilst his is a name that never brings any pleasure when announced as our primary match day official, given Harlee’s tendency to ‘go rogue’ at crucial moments, and with the added burden of wanting to make a good impression in his first game with the armband – against his former fans and team mates – for once the presence of Mr. Ward could be a good thing. Please note: I reserve the right to retract this comment on Sunday morning. 

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Regardless, I’m itching to start once more. The Brentford record against Birmingham City has been first class since our paths have crossed once more. Each of those last five seasons has seen us finish higher than Blues. They’ve not beaten us since November 2016. There was, of course, also ‘that’ 5-0 and ‘that’ song. Those are nothing more than facts. Bloody good ones, mind you. 

Here’s to Saturday and the chance of seeing whether we can add to that record. See you there.

Nick Bruzon

New kit goes for a spin and implications of Frank Lampard news considered.

5 Jul

We’ll keep this brief today. On the Brentford front there was a debut for the new 2019/20 kit as the B team began pre-season with a 5-0 win at Bedfont Sports. Yet the big Championship story was one which unfolded when Frank Lampard left Frank Lampard’s Derby County ™ to become the new Chelsea manager. It is one which we draw particular attention to, given the weekend column where this possibility was talked up along with the question of what the Pride Park club would be known as ongoing. It is a question which, it seems, we may have been somewhat presumptive in answering. 

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Chelsea ‘official’ share the news on Twitter

We all know about the media love-in with Frank and Derby. The fact that the team seemed to undertake a universal name change where it was simply impossible to see one mentioned without the other in journalistic circles. 

This is something we’ve picked up with sledgehammer like unsubtlety on these pages. But why not? Moreso given that this ‘joke’, something about as funny as an episode of Mrs. Brown’s Boys, was thought to have come to an end following Frank’s appointment at Chelsea. 

Indeed, we had remarked perviously that, Primarily, the immediate logical step being one which will see the Pride Park outfit having to be renamed. At present, the hot favourite title in the frame is a simple ‘Derby County’ . This is a choice which will only be seen as a nice historical nod to their origins and one which may help appease fans, upset by the loss of a man who helped keep them in sixth place in the Championship after replacing Gary Rowett”.

But are we wrong? It would seem there are alternatives being put out there – both variants on a similar theme. One suggestion hints that ongoing, rather than a return to Derby County journalists are considering rebranding the club as : Frank Lampard’s former club Frank Lampard’s Derby County.

However, another source close to the club tells me that is is thought to be somewhat of a laboured mouthful. Instead  they are close to settling on one of either : Frank Lampard’s former club Derby County or… New Chelsea manager Frank Lampard’s former club Derby County.

All bets will be off if Frank Lampard Senior takes over but whichever way this one turns out , don’t expect this nonsense to end anytime soon. If for no other reason a similar fate is already playing out in the Championship.  We’ve seen it starting to occur at The Riverside where Jonathan Woodgate’s Middlesbrough are looking forward to life with their new manager. 

 As for Brentford, what can you say about last night’s 5-0 win for the B-team? Well, not much from here as yours truly was more focussed with keeping tabs on Flying Ant Day (which was formally declared at 7.33pm following multiple reports flooding in from West London and beyond).

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Yet social media was awash with pictures of the lads in action with as much focus turning to the new home kit and a reveal of our more traditional goalkeeper’s shirt. An all green number rather than the electric blue/orange combo that had been revealed earlier in the month (which you can see in the full fat match report on ‘official’, here) . 

I’ve made no secret about being a fan of this season’s shirt – one of, if not the, best in years. Perhaps the white socks are a look we’re going to have to get a little more used to, although I’m sure this is something that will only be a requirement in a ‘clash’ situation.  Here’s hoping ! 

And finally, as unsubtle as ever,  for things that may not be worth so much of a read (but are for a great cause).. please do download a copy of the Last Word season season review – containing the least bad of these columns from the World Cup to Aston Villa deserving to win the play offs. It also includes the World Cup aswell as all the ‘Park Life’ articles submitted for the matchday programme and so not previously available on these pages.  

ALL proceeds received are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust so what better way to remind yourself how brilliant 2018/19 was? To kill a bit of time on the commute to work / on your summer holidays / on the toilet etc You can download it , now, for your kindle , iPod telephone or other electronic reading device here.

At £1.99 it’s cheaper than half a pint so what’s to lose? Apart from £1.99 – which then goes to The Community Sports Trust anyway. Many thanks again. And enjoy.

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Nick Bruzon