Martin Allen on video or Alan Partridge on Bond?

Bank holiday weekend. Brentford should be hosting Charlton Athletic today and then visiting Wayne Rooney’s former Frank Lampard’s Derby County Derby County on Monday. Instead, we’re not. Coronavirus. Lockdown. Self-isolation. Sadly, we all know the drill by now. Stay indoors. Don’t be a dick. Think of the NHS. Think of each other. Much as it would be nice to sit on a park bench drinking brandy or flying a remote control helicopter (both of which I saw across the road yesterday), we’ve got to sit tight and stay indoors. It IS frustrating. It IS boring . But my word, think of the alternatives. The least of which being a trip to Pride Park. This is no joke, sadly. Don’t be a dick. Stay the f*&k indoors . Please. Instead, why not take the opportunity to embrace your inner Alan Partridge? 

Stop getting Bond wrong !!

It is frustrating, no question. If nothing else Easter Weekend is second only to Christmas for that wonderfully intense hit of football. A double eSpresso of big match action. If anything there’s more to play for with the season approaching the denouement. Every kick and every point is crucial. The final table almost set with play-off and promotion places able to be confirmed at a moment’s notice should results go the right way. Alas, it’s not to be. There is no visit from Charlton. We won’t be meeting at St. Pancras for the trip to Derby. The best we can do is look at the table and fantasise about what might have been for Brentford. All being well, it will come to pass but when that actually happens is anybody’s guess.

Don’t be downcast. There is still hope for that Bank holiday fix. First up, the GPG have the second in their series of ‘live web cast’ interviews. Following on from last weekend’s ‘ask me anything’ session with Phil Giles, next up is none other than Mad Dog himself – Martin Allen. The session with Phil was unexpectedly open and frank, even by Brentford standards. He was engaging and nothing was off limits as the one hour video link ended up running to double that. Hats off to Trevor and his team for arranging this. Now we have the chance to go to the next level.

The best of the video wall highlights

There can’t be anyone among us who didn’t love Martin’s time at Griffin Park. Excitement. Luncacy. Play-offs. The FA Cup run. The Great Escape. The terror of looking into his eyes. What a man. What a couple of seasons. What a side he put together. Some called it ‘two bob’. I called it the quintessential example of team spirit and ability Oh, John Salako. Err, Steve Claridge. 

So Saturday afternoon promises to be a real treat. With the technical glitches (i.e pitch invaders) looking to be ironed out via means of needing the link to be sent to you (HERE, is the place to get this). Sign up or miss out. As has so wonderfully been explained, “There will NOT be a catch-up video etc. available after the event – for reasons I am sure you can guess. Martin did a Beesotted event recently and Billy/Dave have not been able to use the audio.” 

The one downside to all of this is that it messes with the prospect of being legitimately able to participate in an Alan Partridge style four day bank holiday weekend James Bond marathon. The possibility of doing just this has often been joked about but there’s never been a justifiable reason for sitting in front of the TV from Friday morning through to Monday night. Now there is. 

Could it happen?

Doctor No is scheduled for 9am although judging by Mrs. Bruzon’s reaction to the suggestion last night, it may be a case of jumping straight to Roger Moore. The argument that “If not for us, do it for the NHS and the teachers” not deemed legitimate. Perhaps she was thinking about Thunderball or Die Another Day – a fair point.

If we manage / are allowed (delete as applicable) to stick to the schedule then Martin cuts right across The Man With The Golden Gun. Potentially even eating to the parachute jump opening to The Spy Who Loved Me. Decisions. Decisions. Martin Allen or Roger Moore being chased on skis?

Judging by the paint pots currently sitting in the hallway, I fear the decision may be made for me. See you all at 3pm tomorrow….

 

24 films distilled into four and a bit minutes

Nick Bruzon 

On pitch, we’ve Bees v Blades. Off it, we’ve reached the end of an era.

This could be a very Good Friday indeed. Brentford start the four day weekend with a game at home to a Sheffield United team who at one point were looking like the surprise package for automatic promotion and even now are just a couple of points outside the play-off zone. A Sheffield United team who have as many ex-Bees in their squad as Birmingham City (the difference being that the Blades have picked up the baton and run). Jack O’Connell, the always awesome Simon Moore and that demi-God amongst men, Clayton Donaldson, being the terrific trio.

Yet it’s more than simply the big game we need to look at. Away from the action, it seems that we’ll be saying goodbye in some form to a pair of long standing supporters who are both quite unique club ambassadors.  

Baby Clayton. A star struck fan. And my son

I love Easter weekend. None of the random days off you get at Christmas. For those of us lucky enough to have regular jobs, there’s the regular going to work on a Monday and Tuesday, have Wednesday and Thursday off, then a shlepp back in for one, tedious day after the Festive break. That’s just a tease. Not a holiday.

But this is different.  We’ve got two shortened weeks with a full fat four day break in the middle. And within that, a footballing double header. The trip to Bristol City takes place on Monday but first up, Sheffield United at Griffin Park.

It’s not just the prospect of some down time but more the chance for a return to footballing action after the interminable International break. At least this time around our lack of league football was tempered by the pleasure of watching various past and present Bees in action – of which the appearances for Chris Mepham and Alan Judge were the clear highlights for well documented reasons. That, and a first ever win for Gibraltar as a FIFA member. Yes, I know we spoke about this last time out but some things are worth trumpeting. Liam Walker, you beauty.  Besides, the alternative is to bang on about England fans in Holland or number 26 earning us a cool half million. And nobody needs that.

So this one is all lined up, at least in my head, for that perfect storm of brilliance. The Easter break beginning with the return of Championship action after a few weeks out and and some old friends in tow. My own son doesn’t know how close he was to being called Clayton rather than Harry. Had the big man got the winning goal in the promotion shoot out with a Doncaster Rovers team currently residing in the ‘where are they now’ files, there was a very public agreement that would have resulted in a somewhat different name on his birth certificate.

Can we get the win, though? Absolutely. Play even half as well as we did at times against Middlesbrough last time out (remember that one? A blizzard going on around us and Romaine Sawyers sent off for two of the softest yellow cards you’ll ever see) and the win will surely come. Certainly, I’m expecting this one to be an entertaining goal-fest. Although going purely on my tipping skills, don’t discount the 0-0 at 23/2.

Last time out v Middlesbrough. Sergi was denied a goal and an orange ball

That’s to look forward to. Off field, supporters were left in shock at the news that came through on social media at the back end of the week. Namely, that two of the most iconic faces linked to Brentford are moving on.

I have to be honest, I had to choke back the surprise and genuine upset at the story in The Times yesterday which said that Natalie Sawyer, THE face of Sky Sports News, has presented her final show without even a word from her employers to the viewers. No fanfare. No mention. No goodbye. That’s it.  I hope this isn’t true but it would certainly seem to be the case and has been picked up by plenty of other sites, too.

We all know what Natalie has done for our club. How much a public face of Brentford FC she is. How much time and effort she puts in to backing the Bees. Ever popular and always taking the time to talk to the fans. An ardent supporter of the BFCCST and even appearing as a regular on BeesPlayer (THAT Keith Stroud game up at Sheffield United) and hosting our end of season Player of The year awards. Amongst other things.

No doubt all of this will continue but, at the same time, it really is the end of an era if Natalie has presented her final bulletin. Truly an inspirational figure, I can’t help but think Sky will fully appreciate just who they have lost until it is too late. Here’s to bigger things.

The king and queen of Griffin Park commentary

But it’s not just Natalie. King of Stats and Futsal guru Luis Melville has this week worked his final office day at The Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

We all know what incredible work the Trust does and what a KEY individual Luis has been here. Whilst perhaps a little less high profile in the wider public eye, have no doubt that his leaving will as ground shaking as Natalie’s departure. The good news being I’ve seen a tweet from Luis in which he notes that he’ll still be part of the furniture at Griffin Park (good news indeed – and hopefully on comms, too) but perhaps this tweet best sums up the regards in which he is held….

Today, colleague and good friend @LuisMelville leaves @BrentfordFCCST

I’ve had the pleasure of working with this gent for 10 years and I’m yet to find anyone who works harder or is more committed. I’m sure he is going to be a huge success in his next adventure!

Thank you! 👏👏 pic.twitter.com/IU067JMGHi

— Luke Brooks-Smith (@BrooksSmith) March 28, 2018

Nick Bruzon

From Ipswich Town to Fulham – which is pick of the fixtures?

Brentford fans have finally been able to cast their eyes over the fixture list and start updating the calendar after the 2015/16 schedule was announced on Wednesday. Whilst the derbies against Fulham and QPR were, in probably all cases, the first games just about everybody looked for, there was as much other interest elsewhere.

They aren’t going to come much tougher than Mick McCarthy’s Ipswich Town this season and so to begin proceedings against the Tractor Boys is going to see us start with a bang. Ipswich, like Brentford, reached the play off semi-finals last time out whilst also pipped us 4-2 in the Boxing Day battle for the top of the Championship.

Things remained level for a mere 19 seconds that day and so I’m sure there’ll be a lot of people out for a bit of payback. Personally, I’m just pleased with a home start – you really can’t ask for more than that.

To read the rest of this article, season 2015/16 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full, as :   Ready. Steady. Go Again. : Brentford FC season review 2015 – 2016

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, it’s the annual clean up to make more space on the site for the inevitable follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

But wait, like all the best infomercials, there’s more. The last three seasons of the Last Word : Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup; Tales from the football village and Ready. Steady. Go Again are also available in one combined volume as: 

Brentford Football Club – The Bees are going up. Season reviews: 2013/14, 2014/15 & 2015/16 

We did. And we still are ! 

Supporters old and young are now planning their ‘away’ trips