Move over Cameron Diaz. Bees face their own ‘Bullseye’ moment.

Easy come , easy go. Not so much the latest Tier 3 restrictions imposed in London which means Brentford fans miss out on the chance to visit Lionel Road for the Reading, Newcastle United and beyond games. Urghhh. More, the world of celebrity support. With the Bees due at Watford for a crucial top six six-pointer this evening, none other than England cricket legend Monty Panesar popped up last night to pledge his support for Thomas Frank’s team. Could we have another superstar to join the ranks of Dean Gaffney, Rhino from the Quo, Adam Bluetone and Natalie Sawyer? Or is this merely a short term love affair, given Monty’s apparent support of Luton Town?

Come on @BrentfordFC I keep seeing you @SkyFootball every week keep up the momentum https://t.co/BDMkiu13jo

— Monty Panesar (@MontyPanesar) December 14, 2020

I’m all good with this. Fully fledged transfer or short-term support at the expense of the rivals. Luton and Watford have never been the best of friends, he says politely. Personally speaking, as a Brentford fan there’s no finer sight than watching FulhamL or Quarter Pound of Rubbish imploding. Of seeing Birmingham City self-destruct (Dean o.g. “Apologies to those who travelled. The fans deserve better” ) or Leeds United fall apart. Again. Whomever it is inflicting the fatal blow. So if Monty wants to  follow suit and give us an extra cheer, regardless of whether his motive is genuine affiliation or interim support, then go for it.  Half and half scarf, anyone?

Monty is a Bee. Perhaps for one night only?

And we’ll need all the support we can get. Thomas Frank used his press conference to highlight the challenge presented by Watford. “It is a top six game against one of the relegated sides who have transitioned well. They are one point off the automatic promotion spots so it is going to be a very tough task. In terms of conceding goals, they have the second best defence. They defend extremely well and play with an experience that makes it very difficult to beat”.

As ever, there was that wonderful turn of phrase. The performance of Vitaly Janelt, fast becoming a fan favourite, was noted by Thomas who described how, “He has hit the ground sprinting” but those of you fed up with substitutions better look away.. “It is about trying to balance between getting the core in the team right while still freshening it up in some positions. We have to use the subs well because freshness will be a big part of success throughout the season”. Not my words. The words of Thomas Frank.

And we all know why. So get used to it. Tonight won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But it is one of those where the opportunity is wonderful. A chance for Brentford to leap frog Watford in pursuit of an ‘automatic’ place. We’re no pushovers ourself, of course. 11 games unbeaten and Ivan Toney scoring for fun. The defence generally locking things out game on game whilst the win at Nottingham Forest on Saturday saw attacking intent of the highest order. Brentford will present as big a challenge to our rivals as they do to us. 

If only we could get in to see it. The trip to Vicarage Road always an enjoyable one (aside from trying to get out the car park at full time). Alas, visiting fans are nothing more than a flight of fancy at present. A pipe dream up there with seeing Cameron Diaz wearing a Brentford shirt. 

Even home support has been knocked on the head as quickly as it was dangled in front of us. A two game carrot cruelly snatched away as London moves back in to a Tier 3 restriction from Wednesday. Those fortunate few (4,000 fans and 200 directors) to have been present for Blackburn, Derby and QPR respectively now back on the Follow or Sky Sports – as is the case tonight, with an 8pm kick off. Those lined up for Reading on Saturday seeing the opportunity now denied them. Even worse, the visit of Newcastle United for the league cup quarter-final on Tuesday also impacted. Another to be played out in front of no more than Matthew Benham, the board and a handful of journalists. Urghhh. Frustration, he wrote.

And then Sergi popped up to say his thing on Twitter. Positivity coursing through his veins, as ever.  “You really made a difference when you all came to the stadium. We will miss you but we need you behind us for the games coming up! You can still make the difference from home. POSITIVE and TOGETHER! Come on @BrentfordFC”

From the seat in my kitchen, I’m struggling to match him this morning. Having finally seen supporters inside Lionel Road it felt as though we had that extra lift. As though things were heading back to some small semblance of normality. Now we’re back to square one.

Backing the team is no issue. As ever. Being there to do it in person a real highlight. Now it has been taken away once more. A crappy year getting crappier. Much like that moment at the end of Bullsye. “We hate to do this to you”, Jim Bowen would say (oh no you don’t), “but we’ve got to show you. Look at what you could have won…”. 

Rather than a speedboat it was a chance to watch an actual game of football.

Look at what you could have won…..

Hey. I’m the lucky one. Part of the 4,200 who have been afforded the opportunity. I get that and am truly grateful for being amongst the first fans in. I can’t begin to imagine how awful it must have been the last few days, knowing you had a ticket for Reading but also hearing the news updates and waiting for the inevitable axe to fall. Gutting. Yet even watching a game on TV with the fans present has felt ten hundred times better than seeing it played out in front of an empty stadium. Now we are back to square one.

As Thomas himself said, “We are sad we can’t have fans for the next few games. I can’t wait until we are done with Coronavirus but we will carry on”.

Too true. Until then, its back to the sofa. Sitting there, in spirit at least, with the rest of our fans and, perhaps, Monty Panesar. Metaphorically speaking.

Roll on 8pm See you there.

Nick Bruzon

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Now let’s unmask this phoney fan and see who she really is…

Brentford 0 , Wayne Rooney’s (interim) Derby County 0. The Bees made it ten unbeaten on a night that, being honest, was as frustrating on pitch as it was exciting off. We head into the weekend, sitting 7th (seventh) in the Championship. A win away from Bournemouth in the automatic spots and facing the prospect of a trip to Nottingham Forest on Saturday afternoon. Themselves, victims by the odd goal in three at table topping Norwich City and sure to be raging after going behind, again, just after they’d hauled themselves back in to it last night. Yet the fact that we’re already talking about another team is, perhaps, subconsciously telling us all we need to know about last night at Lionel Road. My word that was hard going.

For the supporters taking their turn on the ticket merry go round, you could see and hear what this meant. Social media was awash with more positivity and photos. It sounded great from the TV and just imagine what the noise will be like when the stadium is eventually allowed to be full (scientists calculate that as being approximately 2032). 

Back home we had the intriguing combination of witnessing this in the company of Natalie Sawyer and Jonathan Douglas sitting with Mark and Mick in the commentary box. Fate bringing together one of our more recognisable fans alongside a former player who is a hero to just about all Brentford supporters. They seemed to go well together !  Mark was in there with his Cameron Diaz story  – pretty sure I heard her name mentioned on more than one occasion – as her fake fandom was once again put into the minds of all true Bees (and if you’d like to read more, then let’s never forget her celebrity supporter status, or lack of, being unmasked on national radio…).

Now lets unmask this imposter

Again, though, we’re digressing from the main event. When Brentford fans (or lack of) are the talking point then we’re probably in the right ball park after a gritty 0-0. It was one that saw us unable to break through the eleven men Wayne Roo… (can we just call them Derby County and take the Rooney bit as read?) had packed behind the ball. 59% possession for Brentford (I’d have had it as more) and 12 shots only tell part of the story. The crucial factor being that not one of those was on target. That when the chances came, we blazed high. We fired wide. We didn’t trouble their goalkeeper. Bryan Mbeumo, starting this one alongside Sergi and Ivan, had the best of these. It seemed harder to miss than score yet he managed the former when he found himself just yards out early in the second half with the goal gaping.

That’s football. Ideally the game doesn’t hang on one chance. Vitaly Janelt had a pair of shots from distance early on as it looked like it was simply going to be a matter of time before the floodgates opened. ‘This is going to be 0-0’ said Mrs. Bruzon early on. Hmm. What does she know? Rico’s on fire. Sergi has picked up where he left off against Blackburn. Ivan is the division’s top scorer. Alas, as with everything in life, she was right. Josh Dasilva also had his moment but couldn’t quite find a way through in a game where Thomas Frank noted at full time that, “We created five big chances but didn’t have the sharpness or quality in the decisive moments.”

Too true, Thomas. His team selection was strong enough. The opposition came to do a job on us and they succeeded. No complaints there. An away point from a promotion chasing team no bad thing in their eyes, I’m sure. For Brentford, though, can there be any positives? 

Well yes, of course there are. The unbeaten sequence aside, it was another clean sheet. It was another game without Christian Norgaard – a player that I’m intrigued to see playing with Vitaly Janelt. Too similar or the making of Brentford 2021? It was another solid performance from Mads Bech Sørensen. It was another point that keeps us well in contention. This time last season we were eighth with 27 from 17 games played. This time around we are one point and one position better off. Not so much clutching at straws after a ‘challenging’ 90 minutes but more the case of looking at the table with fresh eyes having slept on it following, rather than during, the game.

For me, Clive, the frustrating thing is as much seeing Said Benrahma keeping the bench warm at West Ham. The reasons for selling (sorry, loaning) him are clear to all and so there are no complaints there. He wanted his move to the top flight and the money will be very good for us. Yet last night was the sort of game where having a player of his unique ability could have been the difference between the win and the eventual draw. He’d have decimated them, had he been on his game.

There’s no benefit in crying over who we don’t have but at the same time there has been a clear gauntlet thrown down which, to date, none of the wider players have consistently looked like picking up. We’re solid at the back. We drive forward in midfield. The goals are coming up top (normally). Unlocking that final area of the pitch is the challenge. It’s great that the full backs can overlap in such style but Rico must be knackered. Thomas can only pick from his available squad and, perhaps, it will be a return to the combination of Canos, Forss and Toney that serves us best against Nottingham Forest on Saturday. Go for it from the off and see what happens. 

For now, though, it IS another point and another game where we’ve had some more of the fans back in. Long may that continue. ( Did somebody say Tier 3…..…?). Derby County are still languishing in the bottom three and we’ve a trip to another of their relegation rivals to look forward to this weekend. Chris Hughton’s recent record at Forest is on a par with Simply Red’s greatest hits – short and terrible. LLDLL from the last five doesn’t make good reading. 

So I’m happy still. It wasn’t a great spectacle but one game is only a small part of the bigger picture. A picture which is a frenetic, non-stop season with games coming week on week on week. I’d love to have won but in the end we’re as lucky not to have lost. Derby had their own chance(s) late on and that post is still rattling.

Move along. Nothing to see here. Instead, its one for the record books and the ongoing hope that, one day, perhaps Cameron might just check what she is missing out on. Hey, if its good enough for Ryan Reynolds and Wrexham….. Yet even if she does, somehow, appear Natalie will always remain Queen Bee.

Nick Bruzon 

Very much behind The Times. ‘He’ doesn’t support us, does he?

Almost there. Monday morning. Brentford v Fulham in the Championship play-off final is little more than a day away. Tomorrow night we walk out at Wembley to see if the most incredible season on record, one which has seen us play the last ever game at Griffin Park alongside the campaign interrupting global pandemic, has the happiest of endings. Yet with the game almost upon us, the age old question as to celebrity fans has reared an ugly head once more. Specifically, the allegation that Phill Collins supports The Bees.

This, the suggestion doing the rounds on Twitter yesterday after the GPG shared  the below.  Utter gumph.

Indeed, it was territory covered in the matchday programme for the final Brentford game played out in front of fans – the 5-0 trashing of Sheffield Wednesday back in early March (how long ago does that feel now?).

It appeared in response to the same allegation being made by Cardiff City in their publication the previous game.

We all know who our celebrity fans are. Adam Devlin, guitarist for popular music’s The Bluetones. Natalie Sawyer. Richard Archer from Hard-Fi / newly formed pop combo ‘Offworld’ (do check them on Spotify et al). Rhino from the Quo. Likewise comedian Nathan Caton, Rick Wakeman and  Dean Gaffney (Wellard from Eastenders). Amongst others. 

Sadly, Cameron Diaz is not amongst their number. Or, certainly, wasn’t unless she has since paid a clandestine visit. A popular urban legend finally debunked with those fatal words a few years back after a tip off from, errr… The full story on that one is here.

Yet like the ever popular Charlies’ Angels star, the Phil Collins story is one that pops it’s head above the parapets every now and again. A story based on nothing more than his youthful visits to Griffin Park. A story that has been clarified by the singer himself. Apparently. 

First glance at his autobiography – where the locally born slush-merchant notes that as the closest big club to Hounslow he used to attend our matches – suggest this may have been true,

Yet scratch below the surface and a different story emerges. In an interview, the Groovy kind of love singer has been quoted as saying that he “used to support Brentford when I was a small boy as I lived not far away. I moved closer to London and lived close to Queens Park Rangers, and had a season ticket for a few years during the great Stan Bowles, Phil Parkes years. I have to say though that I always had a soft spot for the Spurs team of the 60’s with Greaves (a real hero of mine) and Mackay etc….(I could name the whole team but I won’t !!! ) However I lived in West London and Spurs over in North London was too far to go as a lad.

More recently (70’s!!) I’ve kept a close eye on Liverpool and befriended Kenny Dalglish, David Johnson and Ray Clemence. In fact one year they one the championship, we played in Liverpool the same day as the deciding game, and we all got together after the show and had a few drinks. So as you see I’ve spread my affection around a bit !!!”

As the aforementioned Bluetone would opine on Twitter following the Cardiff City publication, “So basically he supports any team that accommodates his current geographical location and touring schedule. There’s a proper fan.”

“I support Brentford you say? ” But seriously,  no fan would wear this..

Instead, Phil would seem to have more clubs than Nick Faldo and the loyalty of a half and half wearing snake.

As for Fulham, it’ll be interesting to see who comes out of the woodwork tomorrow night. Their own list is hardly a galaxy of stars. Lily Allen. The pointless chap. Hugh Grant. Brian Guest. 

David Mellor used to support them in the 70s (to the extent of even writing programme notes) before committing the lowest of low acts, that of a grown up cheating on their own team, and transforming into a Chelsea supporter. Nobody deserves that – not even Fulham. Well, almost nobody deserves that.

Brian Guest – Fulham note him as a fan despite the pain inflicted by the Bees

Nick Bruzon

England expects as Brentford awaits. Plus your chance to create radio gold.

This is it. The World Cup has been going for almost a week but today is the day. The one we’ve been waiting for. After all the anticipation we finally get our glimpse of what is to come.  The Brentford FC away shirt launch. And over in Russia, England begin their campaign with a game against Tunisia in Volgograd. Yet with Germany going down to Mexico and draws for those others teams named as pre-tournament favourites – Spain, Argentina and Brazil – is this one another giant potato skin waiting to be slipped up on? Plus I’ve a very special radio related Twitter ask that will take you five seconds to help with but could provide audio gold.

First today, the Brentford away shirt. There’s not much can be said at present, given the club haven’t released any images beyond a teaser photo that (unlike last season) has so far defied all manner of photoshop manipulation. So instead, it’s a case of having to wait until 10am when we get our look at the 2018/19 second choice kit. Not forgetting the goalkeepers, either.

All we know so far is that as happened two years ago, the fans have been involved in the photo shoot. Along with the current squad and some former heroes. David Hunt has already appeared (confusing many of our younger supporters) whilst I gather we may also see Marcus Gayle at some point. Beyond that though, your guess is as good as the supporter next to you. This one really has been kept under wraps. See you back here at 10am for first thoughts.

David Hunt – the biggest come back since Lazarus

Next up, the World Cup. England expects and all that. But does it? The build up to the tournament has been as relaxed and low key as I can ever remember. There don’t seem to have been the wall-to-wall adverts, cheesy player–promos or petrol station squad coins to get us excited in the build up as we’ve had in previous camapigns. Quarter finals at best is the general expectation for England and, as such, it really seems to be a case of pressure off. From there, anything is possible.

I can’t tell you too much about Tunisia beyond what I’ve seen in my son’s (definitely his) Panini sticker album. The BBC fact page tells us that they qualified undefeated, have lost only once this year (a 1-0 defeat against Spain) and will likely be hard to breakdown. So a journey into the unknown for many of us although you be sure Gareth Southgate will have done his homework.

With the team already picked, all you have to do is get in for 7pm, switch the TV to BBC and pray that Mark Lawrenson hasn’t been selected for punditry duties. The only other down side about tonight is likely to be ‘that band’. Yesterday’s article and survey has produced an interesting reaction on Twitter, whilst the vote is clearly leaning one way – although perhaps not as heavily as one might have expected. There’s a few hours to go if you want to go for it.

The Telegraph reports that the #England Supporters Band are going to be allowed to bring their instruments into the ground for the #WorldCup. Is this a good thing?

— Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon) June 17, 2018

Ok – my next twitter ‘ask’ involves the radio. Any regular reader to these pages will likely be aware that it is generally tuned to Absolute Radio in our house. Likewise, former breakfast show host Christian O’Connell played a key role in the ‘Is Cameron Diaz a Brentford supporter?’ reveal a few years back. That was then. This is now. The OC has moved to Australia and his co-host Richie Firth is due to start a brand new ‘Home time’ show with Everton fan Andy Bush in September.

I say brand new. One feature is in the pipeline to follow Richie – his 6.50am ‘Hitler’s Toilet’. Something both intriguing yet, at times, awful. But awful in a ‘so bad its good’ style. Think Nicolas Cage in ‘Drive Angry’.  Always compelling, it is radio gold.  A chance to pick up on a ’water cooler’ moment of a story that the mainstream media are yet to run with. Usually for good reason. Anything from mundane top-tens put together by companies desperately flogging their wares to the latest sighting of over-sized rats living in the sewers or some scientific breakthrough such as the imminent arrival of flying taxis.

Whilst I appreciate I’m not doing this justice, hearing is believing. 10,000 Retweets saves the feature. Please. Do me a favour. Click the below, share the tweet and save the toilet.

The boss said (in the pub) that if this tweet gets 10,000 RTs, he'll let @richiefirth bring his ‘Toilet’ feature to the new Hometime show with @bushontheradio in September.

You know what do… pic.twitter.com/vnkjVJmJf9

— Absolute Radio (@absoluteradio) June 13, 2018

And finally, I just wanted to offer a HUGE thanks to all those who have downloaded one of the season review e-books to date. With all proceeds raised going towards the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust, I can’t say how grateful I am to our fans. Don’t forget also that if you do this before the end of June, I’ll put you into the draw to win an exclusive ‘third’ shirt given to me by a source close to the club – just DM / tweet me your download confirmation mail so as I can add your name.

Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Pinch yourself at just how far we have come in such a short space of time.

Nick Bruzon

A ball of confusion in the cup. Matt Dyson talks Warbs, radio and football ahead of Brentford v Nottingham Forest

Another League cup draw; another ball of confusion. If the first round draw was a farce (Charlton being drawn both home and away) things were no better second time around. Brentford will meet QPR in the second round of the League Cup. Seemingly the game to be played at Griffin Park on first call but the somewhat odd use of a third pot to determine ‘home’ or ‘away’ left fans and officials what we will politely call ‘baffled’. All this before we get to the main event of the next few days – the visit of Nottingham Forest in the league.

Who’d have thought that using three pots to determine a two team cup tie would end in anything but a cock up? And sure enough, it did. Despite the Bees being called as ‘home’ by former player John Salako, question marks were immediately raised over the colour of his venue ball. Even official, once more displaying this season’s new found sense of humour, hit the nail firmly on the head.

And if you’d like to read more whilst helping the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust …. the rest of this article can now be found in the Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Certainly, if there’s no Marcos Tea Bar at Lionel Road it will be an opportunity missed.

All proceeds from any sales will go to the Community Sports Trust. For less than the cost of a half / pint respectively, they may help while away some time on the commute. By the pool on holiday. In the bathroom. Who knows? It will certainly do some good for the Trust, whose work has been well documented at Griffin Park but you can read all about it on their site.

And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been given something very special. A 2017/18 third team shirt with Lewis Macleod’s squad number on the reverse in the EFL typeface. Anyone with half an interest in Bees kits will know that these were never made available in the club shop.  Anyone who has read any of this before will know what a kit nerd yours truly is so when I say this is rare, take that in good faith!

To be in with a chance of owning it, download a copy of either before the end of June 2018 and you’ll go into a draw to win this. Just DM/tweet me (@NickBruzon) a copy of your purchase confirmation mail and I’ll add your name to the list before selecting a random Bees fan to win this on July 1st.

 

 

The Gameweeek podcast can be found at the i-tunes store   – its free and well worth a listen for anyone with an interest in football – fantasy or otherwise.

The Gameweek podcast – out now

Nick Bruzon

 

One out of three ain’t bad. Ian Holloway does it again as Huddersfield make it so (sorry).

That really is it. Football is over for the season. Congratulations to Huddersfield Town who made it up to the Premier League after beating Reading on penalties. For the Royals, a return to Griffin Park awaits as they endured a pain us Brentford fans know only too well – play off capitulation.

In truth, the first ten minutes aside, it was a dreadful game. Huddersfield came flying out of the blocks and looked like they were going for broke. Yet after missing two gilt edged chances from Izzy Brown and Michael Hefele it soon settled down into a game of cat and mouse. Cagier than a cage fight between Nicolas Cage and Xander Cage, it was two and half hours we’ll never get back.

But frankly, who cares? Whether you win on penalties or in a 4-3 goalfest, the net result is the same. Promotion for one side and tears for the other.

So football aside (and largely because there wasn’t any) what did we learn from yesterday’s game? Well, apparently Patrick Stewart was there. Yes, I know, you probably missed it too.

The Star Trek and X-men actor being to Huddersfield as Rhino from the Quo or Cameron Diaz (allegedly) are to Brentford. And once the cameras had picked him up, that was it. We saw as many shots of him as we did of Reading fans crying. Yes Sky, we get it – there’s Picard. Again. All we needed was a ‘make it so’ pun for a full house.

What a miss from Izzy Brown

We learned, once more, that penalties are a most wonderful thing for the neutral to watch. Yet for the players and fans the most painful of all ways to decide promotion. Unless you are on the winning side in which case seeing your fate revealed at the exact moment of that one, decisive kick must be the most incredible feeling ever. Again, something us Brentford fans can’t really relate to. Play-off success (8 doomed attempts so far) or promotion sealing penalty kicks being something that we don’t overly talk about.

But the real talking point to come out of it was that Ian Holloway is to making pre-season predictions as Donald Trump is to tact and diplomacy. We’ve already mentioned his efforts for Sky TV on these pages many times. Holloway, not Trump. Indeed, they form much of the thrust in the current 2016/17 Championship season review. That’s available now on e-book, with all proceeds going to the Community Sports Trust.

But a focus on Holloway is no surprise given his prediction of Brentford to finish 22nd, and the narrative:  “Brentford are regressing. Mark Warburton got them punching above their weight. They still haven’t replaced Andre Gray and Alan Judge will be missing for the start of the season. They could be in trouble”.

Well, that one was thrown royally back in his face. We did the double over QPR, including a 3-1 win over his side at Griffin Park, as the Bees finished 11 points and 8 places above the not so super hoops. Our own management had immediately poo-poo’d his prediction at the fan forum and how great to see the confidence rewarded.

But for Huddersfield Town, he predicted even worse. They came out at 23rd in his table and his own summary of their fate was: “I haven’t seen much progression from the club during the back end of last season. David Wagner is pretty inexperienced and if results turn, then they may struggle to turn things around”.

If 22nd to 10th was a mile out, then 23rd to the Premier League was  his failng to hit a barn door with banjo in a brewery. An incredible miss on the punditry front.

It was a point well made in the aftermath of Huddersfield triumph. Not by the fans but the manager, who offered “Ian Holloway , all the best for the next season” . And the team, chanting “There’s only one Ian Holloway” as they celebrated in the dressing room.

Hey, at least Ian got basement club Rotherham United right. One out of three ain’t bad, I suppose.

😂😂😂 Man just burned Ian Holloway on live TV #Legend pic.twitter.com/Ru8rYUQ2O2

— JMichael (@m1897) May 29, 2017

Congratulations David Wagner. Congratulations Huddersfield. Tough luck Reading. We’ll see you at Brentford next season.

And, as noted earlier, season 2016/17  is now available for download on e-book in the retrospective: Welcome Home, King Jota (Brentford FC season review 2016/17)

Priced at just £1.99, all sales are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

Likewise any sales from the previous titles – Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup (2013/14), Tales from the football village (2014/15) and Ready. Steady. Go Again. (2015/16) – are also now going to the BFCCST.

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 16 to May 17, you can pick it up, here. It’s all for a great cause and, hey, you may even enjoy it, Unless your name is Ian H…..

Nick Bruzon

That Sky One Harchester United thing. Dear Sky TV, Andy Ansah, Richie et al….

These pages usually talk about Brentford FC but, occasionally, we look further afield than Griffin Park. Today is just one of those. It is a time when we need to look back to look forward. And also ask the question – is it time for a footballing renaissance?

“That Sky One Harchester United thing”. Not my words but those of Absolute Radio DJ Richie Firth, talking on Wednesday morning’s Christian O’Connell Breakfast show. Regular readers may well be aware of, amongst other things, the show’s role in resolving the Cameron Diaz / Brentford story (something which, for the record, our own club commentator par-excellence Mark Burridge also had a hand in at one point).

But this was not a discussion about celebrity fans (or lack of). Instead, it was talk of actor Ricky Whittle and his current role in TV series American Gods. The actor, who has also appeared in Hollyoaks and on Strictly Dancing, is probably best known for playing Ryan Naysmith on what Richie had called That Sky One Harchester United thing. Or, of course, Dream Team.

Ahh, Dream Team. Running for ten series, the show was centred around the ongoing and progressively more outlandish events at fictional football club Harchester United. Combining real life stadia and action (often Leicester City, Chelsea or Everton but with the contrast turned up to make their blue shirts look like Harchester’s purple) the show was as loved for its crazy plots as the frequent use of celebrity cameos. From Ron Atkinson to John Barnes, even one time Bee’s boss Steve Coppell had a go at channeling his inner Marlon Brando. It wasn’t good.

Yet perhaps the most famous of these actors was another former Bee (and member of our ‘top ten moustaches‘ club), Andy Ansah. Forget his later work on ‘Street Striker’ or numerous films and adverts though. For me his crowning glory was six series reciting variants of: ‘Get warmed up lads’ and ‘Alright, Gaffer?’ whilst playing himself, as the club’s first team coach.

Ansah – wonderful Tekkers

I caught up with Andy a few years ago whilst writing a ‘Where Are They Now’ article for the Griffin Park match day programme. It goes without saying that the main topic of conversation was this wonderful, wonderful show. It was a truly privileged behind the scenes insight (and you can read more below) but, if I’m being equally honest, since finishing in 2007 the show has slipped from most people’s memory.

But then Wednesday saw Richie do his thing, even taking to Twitter where he noted, “Everytime I pass the Dragon’s Lair on the train at Millwall I get misty eyed. Bring it back @sky1”

Boom. Quicker than you could say Karl Fletcher, Lynda Block or Luis Amor-Rodriguez (think of a low budget Jota) the memories came flooding back.

Murder at the FA Cup final. The plane crash. The coach crash. The coach explosion at the Millennium Stadium. Liverpool (the real Liverpool) being linked in the papers with a £3.5 million swoop for Didier Baptiste back in 1999. Cue much egg on face when it transpired they weren’t actually bidding for a Monaco player but actually looking at a character from a TV show.

L-R, John Black, Luis Amor-Rodriguez, Karl ‘Fletch’ Fletcher, Sean Hocknell

It wasn’t just me. Pick of the highlights to subsequently flood Twitter was that of @JohnDryden1 who noted: Lawlor in goal? That must of been after Jamie Parker held his team mates at gun point in the changing room.

As you do.

But now, ten years on, is it time to bring back Dream Team? Does Richie, a one time self-proclaimed soothsayer of scores, have his finger on the footballing pulse once again?
Would people watch it ? Yes, yes and yes have to be the answers to all three questions.

Sky 1, if you are reading (you probably aren’t ) how about it? Natalie Sawyer, any chance you could have a word with the bosses?  Andy Ansah (again, probably not reading), if anybody has the contacts it must be you?

With Griffin Park around the corner from Sky HQ and a new stadium on the horizon in Lionel Road, then what better time to bring this back with a progressive club filling the role of the new Harcehster? They’ve used Watford. They’ve used Millwall. They’ve even used Brentford (albeit as part of the May 2007 Open Day when a Harchester United team played the Community Sports Trust at Griffin Park.

How about Brentford doing it again – for real ?

If any show deserves a reboot, then Dream Team must be top of the list. If it worked for Doctor Who and Dallas then imagine what could be done now. Come on Sky, the world of football demands it.

Andy dons the monogrammed tracksuit in his Harchester United days

And if anybody was in any doubt about the love for the show, this is what Andy Ansah himself had to say about it in that aforementioned interview:

Having finally retired from playing, all of a sudden Andy appeared on Sky one’s football based ‘drama’ series, Dream Team, playing himself at fictional club ‘Harchester United.’ A guilty pleasure for many viewers, myself included, but for all the wrong reasons! Wooden dialogue, outrageous plots and, as Andy himself offers, “The Lynda Blocks of this world”, its combination of beautiful women and real match action made it compulsive viewing for close to ten years. So how did he go from footballer to actor?

“I went to a Take That concert at Wembley, believe it or not. I made my decision then that I was going to retire from football. I met two people there and I said, ‘What do you do ?’ “ Oh, we do ‘extras’ work?” They were stand in doubles.

I thought that sounded interesting because I’d always liked acting and I love my films. Some friends of mine were on Dream Team doing the footballing extras although they were a lot younger than me. So I thought, ‘ok’, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop playing pro-football, play a bit of part time, join ‘Dream Team’ and learn how to be an actor.

Subsequently, I joined as one of the football extras but because I was older than everyone else, I was thirty then whereas they were nineteen/twenty, I used to spend all my time with the directors and producers who were the same age. They used to ask questions about football all the time – how would we do this or that? I found myself directing the football for them and then within a year they made me the producer of football on Dream Team. It was crazy!”

Alongside the move to producer came a step up from ‘extra’ to acting role aswell, portraying the club’s assistant coach, Andy Ansah (!!) This also meant a few lines per show, with regular Ansah gems including takes on , “All right, you lot ! Get out on the field and warm up,” and “Leave it, gaffer. He’s not worth it.”

I put it to Andy that it must surely have been fun to be involved?

“I loved it, I loved it. Listen, it was brilliant. The show itself was low budget but it was built up on people. The people were fantastic and it had cult status. No matter how bad it was, you’d be able to say – I know who that is. That was Drogba’s goal for Chelsea against so and so. That’s what made it so much fun.

At the end, it kind of died a death. I was there for six years and when I left I was offered a Hollywood job with the film, “Goal”. That’s when I left and they ended up employing four different people to take up my one post on that show. That’s how much I did.”

As for those famous/infamous cameos? “The guys were great. Being honest, I should thank the likes of Andy Cole, Dwight Yorke and the West ham players. They mainly got me that producer role because I pulled in my contacts to get those guys on the show. One time, Andy had just got called back into the England squad and all the press were outside the training ground at Man United. I had to go and meet him at the training ground and came out the back door with Andy and Dwight , then drove to Stockport County so we could film them on Dream Team – for nothing. It was absolutely crazy. Can you imagine a footballer now using his image rights and saying, ‘I’ll come on your show for nothing’ but that’s how much of a cult status it was.”

After six seasons at Harchester United, ‘Goal’, and the lure of the silver screen proved too much, although not for the first time !

“Infact, whilst I was doing Dream Team, after two years I also did a film called : Mike Bassett England manager. I cast Terry Kiely from Dream Team (popular character, Karl Fletcher) and Scott Mean who used to play for West Ham to come and work on that film. I did all the choreography on that film myself, which was a big job! We shot at Wembley and also went to Brazil. I was there for almost two months, filming at the Maracana, Botafogo and everywhere.

It’s a hard job…!!”

Bassett / Tomlinson – one of the many famous faces to film at Griffin Park

Nick Bruzon

Bees fan Tom emulates Newcastle. Brentford badge continues to go national.

The dark part of International break. Perhaps it was the fact we last played on a Friday night but this one is dragging. The friendlies have finished and we’re now hanging out for Blackburn away on Saturday. Of course, we’ve had all the news and views about the new club crest to keep us occupied but yesterday it made national radio. Specifically, supporter Tom Lonnen whose new tattoo, and the timing of it, put one in mind of Newcastle United supporter Rob Nesbitt back in 1995.

Readers may recall how Nesbitt treated himself to a thigh length homage of the free scoring striker, only for the Toon hero to join Manchester United the very next day.

Well, now Tom has joined those ranks – at least in terms of timing if not size. Whilst some fans are still banging the ‘wasp’ drum, a story broke on the Christian O’Connell Absolute Radio breakfast show yesterday about our new badge.But there was no wasp related element (probably because it looks like a bee).

Regular readers / listeners may be aware that, of course,the Bees have featured on Christian’s show before. Primarily when the DJ interviewed Cameron Diaz during the promotion for her Sex Tape film and put the question to her as to whether she really was a fan of Brentford. The answer to that one can be found here.

Instead, yesterday’s news involved sports presenter Faye Caruthers sharing with the nation the story of how Tom had got a tattoo of our current bees on the inside of his bicep, just days before the new club design was revealed.

Fair play to Tom, he has given his thumbs up to our new design as his own tweet from earlier revealed. Moreso, given that but for a bit of warning he may have chosen a different way to honour his team.

And at least he doesn’t have to revert to Rob’s subsequent technique of having his own ink redesigned as another Newcastle legend (and former Bee), Les Ferdinand. If you’d like to hear more, the podcast of yesterday’s show can be found here – with Tom’s moment of fame coming about 35 and a half minutes in.

The other tattoo news you may have seen surrounds a very unusual piece of work and another homage (twice on one column, sorry) to a club hero. Sometimes, words aren’t enough. I’ll let the picture do the talking.

For those of you despairing about the new club crest then this is well worth a look. FourFourTwo magazine have just published their list of the 17 weirdest club crests in world football. There’s not a Bee in sight (although a couple of bunnies). Trust me, things could be a lot worse. Imagine any of these on your shirt.

And if you’d like to read more, the full article can be found here… 

But we’ll end with tattoos. It’s not just Brentford or Newcastle fans who have had their issue with unfortunate inkings. From 17 weird badges to 16 woeful tattoos. This one is a few years old but until we can get back to the proper football, why not enjoy the worst of football body art.…..    

Nick Bruzon

A tale of three Pauls and one Psycho. The Last Word on….

Brentford host Nottingham Forest tonight. With round 3 of Championship action  upon us, all being well we can divert ourselves from gantry based chat long enough to look at tonight’s opponents. It’s time for our new regular feature, The Last Word on…and tonight Forest are in the hot seat. Featuring a series of regular questions/ categories about the visitors , the results are picked using no more scientific criteria than personal taste. With apologies for any glaring omissions, here we go (again).

Brentford take on Nottingham Forest at Griffin Park tonight

The Brentford connection (he’s played for both). Very much a tale of three Pauls, here . Our first being the goalkeeping legend that is Paul Smith. One of the finest players between the sticks in modern times, he turned out over 100 times for the Bees after signing from Carshalton back in 2000. A move to Southampton to help the club out of a financial hole would eventually follow in 2004 before he found himself at the City Ground.   Last seen at Griffin Park back in January 2013 where his single handed heroics almost stopped the Bees progressing past Southend United and an FA Cup fourth round tie with Chelsea

Next up, Paul Evans. Much like last week’s pick, Jay Tabb, part of my all time Brentford XI based on those I’ve seen play on a regular basis (Szczesny, O’Connor, Evans,  Hreidarsson, Grainger, Paul Evans, Forshaw, Sinton, Tabb, Holdsworth, Blissett) .

What can you say beyond “Evans. From the half way line.” Not once but twice. In successive games . What a pair of net busters and what a player. 34 goals from midfield in 157 games, along with a cap for Wales , tells its own story of a wonderful career at Griffin Park.

Like so many, his time came to an end after ‘that’ play off final against Stoke City. Move along please, nothing to talk about there.

The picture quality is awful; the technique wonderful

However, our winner is not so much a player as a caretaker manager, in Paul Williams. The one time Brentford logistics manager taking up the role of assistant to head coach Lee Carsley back in October of last year.  Paul was famously honoured by Lee when the winners of October’s manager of the month aware were announced, with Carsley saying “Every decision I have taken in the past month has been made between myself and my assistant Paul Williams.If I could cut the award in half, he would get the other half. I see this as a reward for a great team effort over the month”

December saw a parting of the ways, however, with Paul taking the opportunity to become first team coach at Nottingham Forest and even caretaker manager for the last couple of months of the season. That was long enough to keep them up although, in a result that left Paul “really disappointed” his knowledge of the Bees was insufficient to stop us recording a 3-0 away win.

The Brentford encounter ( noteworthy game with the Bees). We’re going back almost 35 years but have picked our 1982 League cup fourth round tie. Incredibly, the furthest we’ve reached in the competition (and last week’s result at Exeter City isn’t helping that record any) it saw the Bees facing a game against Brian Clough’s best team in Europe.

Brentford were expected to be on the end of a good hiding and, whilst we eventually succumbed 2-0, Paddy Roche  made sure it was a lot closer than the pre-match predictions would have had you believe. Talking to the Bees goalkeeper about this game a few years ago, he noted the expectation levels that had been present in the home side and the reason these weren’t met “They were a top side then and we gave them a good run. That is one of the best memories of my career, probably. Gary Birtles was playing at Forest for the match that night and I’d been with him at Manchester United. He came in and told me after the game that Brian Clough had said to the Forest players “The reason you didn’t win six or seven nothing was because you played against the best ‘keeper you been up against all season”.

Favourite son  (their most famous former player). This is where it gets interesting. Million pound man Trevor Francis? That colossus of a centre back Des Walker, whose Nottingham Forest career encompassed 20 years and two spell from 1984 to 2004? What about pineapple coiffeured Jason Lee or the man whose goal sealed the 1980 European cup final, John Robertson?

However, for most neutrals there is one name synonymous with Nottingham Forest on the playing front and that, of course, is Stuart Pearce. A three time player of the year, this tough tackling full back was dubbed ’Psycho’ for good reason with a reputation, and an ability, that preceded him.

A first choice on any team sheet (club or country), how the national team must wish they had his like available for selection once more. With over 500 appearances for Forest under his belt, he was the epitome of the man who gave his all when on the pitch.

Stuart Pearce – an iconic image

Famous fan. Nottingham Forest are very well served in this category. Those with a musical yearning can look to James Dean Bradfield from the Manic Street Preachers or Deep Purple drummer, Ian Paice. Then there are the likes of Stuart Broad or golfer Lee Westwood from the world of sport.

And of course, those with an ear to the radio will know that Absolute Radio breakfast show news reader Matt Dyson is an ardent Forest fan.

But the pairing I’d love to see in the director’s box are better known from our screens. Jason Statham is to acting what Stuart Pearce was to tackling. Just don’t mess, walk away, nothing to see here. I love his films. There’s no subtly and that’s just fine. Sit back, switch off and enjoy.

Then, you have the anti-Stath. Su Pollard. Best known, of course, for playing over-enthusiastic chalet maid Peggy on Hi-De-Hi (kids, ask your parents) if ever you had the polar opposite to the man who played Chev Chelios (Crank) and Frank Martin(The Transporter), amongst others, then here you go.

Peggy. The anti-Stath

 

Best Ever League Performance. Not so much a game as a streak. Forget Arsenal and their so called invincibles (please, just forget Arsenal) on 26 November 1977 the club embarked on 42 match unbeaten run with a 0-0 draw against West Bromwich Albion . It was a run that lasted over an entire year before eventually coming to an end in December 1978. This, not before their final result in the streak, a 1-0 win over Bolton, set a record that would last for over two decades .

Moment of ignominy (what it says – opposite to above) Relegation from the Premier League in 1993. I take no pleasure form those words, either. Brian Clough subsequently retired and a team who, as somebody growing up watching football had been one of THE names to both respect and fear, had seen a golden era finally one to an end.

Manager of the century ( most famous /popular manager). Can most neutrals even name another Nottingham Forest manager? It can only be Brian Clough.

You could write book on the man who managed Nottingham Forest from 1975-1993. And many have tried. So how do you pay justice to one of the most charismatic managers in football history in one paragraph?  The simple answer being that you can’t.

With the charisma also came success. He took an unfancied team all the way to the league title, numerous trophies and back to back European cup wins. Always seen as very much anti-establishment but the suits at the FA, what would have happened had he been given a chance to run the national team?

An absolute legend and one who is very sadly missed.

All time high ( the club’s defining achievement). For a club to win one European Cup is an incredible achievement. Moreso one who had, seemingly, come from nowhere in just a few short seasons as Nottingham Forest did when they triumphed over Malmo. Yet to repeat that feat just 12 months later, this time Hamburger SV being the victims, is simply stunning.

Interestingly, despite the huge standout of that silverware and the titles, Brian Clough is noted as seeing that unbeaten 42 streak as his greatest achievement. And who am I to argue?

Nick Bruzon

Just what are people saying about us? Can you solve a mystery?

Brentford travel to Brighton for this evening’s ‘trial by TV’. Keith Stroud is the ref. Red cards. Sheffield United. A flamboyant flourish. 2015/16 season stats of 134 yellows and 8 reds in 31 games. Regular readers know the drill by now so I won’t overly elaborate. Instead, the inevitable rabbit hole of the Internet has led me to the Bees via Manchester City, Watford and the entire Premier League.

Keith Stroud – we all know the drill

I can’t take the full credit for this one. Checking around the BBC this morning to confirm we really did have Mr. Stroud ‘in charge’ (I laughed, too) I stumbled across a feature they had published on the most ‘searched for’ questions about Premier League clubs. Thanks to the predictive nature of Google (other search engines are, apparently, available) it is a simple enough exercise to undertake but an intriguing one.

Questions on the search include:

Why do Sunderland A.F.C fans hate Jimmy Hill?

Why do Watford have a moose on their badge?

Why do Manchester City fans boo the Champions League anthem?

Jimmy Hill – so popular he even appeared in an 80’s computer game

The BBC piece has many of the answers, too.

I can’t imagine anybody would think ill of the late, great Jimmy but, as ever in football, there is a reason.

Watford’s moose isn’t. A misconception which even this kit fanatic had previously made. The only moose you’ll find at football stadia goes by the name of Ian and is usually located in the canteen rather than on a shirt.

As for Manchester City and the Champions League, the BBC don’t resolve that one although I’d imagine the answer is simply because they weren’t allowed to buy it. Certainly, that seems the solution to any other on-field issue they face.

But fascinating though this all is, the story doesn’t delve into the Championship. So I thought I would take a look at what the world outside of TW8 wants to know about Brentford.

And here it is…

The big questions on the Bees…

Primarily, this has thrown up more questions than answers. Why do people think we sacked Warbs? Just how has that Cameron Diaz story got so huge ? Where do we start in trying to answer the one about the Loftus Road mob?

I’ve said my piece on the Diaz affair many times – if anybody wants to know what happened you can find it here – whilst the QPR one has more possible answers than Nick Proschwitz scored goals . As for Warbs, I guess it just highlights how ludicrous those outside of TW8 believe our mutual parting of the ways was.

But sitting here this morning, I’ve realised I haven’t got a clue to the ‘Hey Jude’ question. Like ‘Oldham’s song’, it is one we sing pretty much every game and, whilst I’m not a huge fan (the FA Cup bus back from Chelsea put paid to that), you still need to join in with a club anthem.

There’s no finer sound than Peter Gilham bellowing, “Na Na Nah, Nah Nah Na Naaaaaaa” down the microphone. Our ever popular matchday host looking to inspire a second half atmosphere just prior to the players running back out in one of those ‘do or die’ fixtures.

Which is all well and good but why? Can anybody shed any light on this one? Of course, I could just dive in and ‘Ask Jeeves’ (does that even exist anymore?) but it doesn’t seem right. Besides, the very first link I did press came up with two theories:

1: a player was dumped by a woman of that name in the 60s, 2: Brentford supporter “Indian Joe” replaced “Brent-ford” in the chorus.

So instead, if anybody can explain why or when this all started I’d be eternally grateful? Answers on a postcard or back of an envelope, marked ‘Jude’. Failing that, there’s the ‘comments’ box.

And finally, if you need something to fill the time on your journey down to Brighton today, could I recommend the latest Beesotted podcast ? Featuring Dave and Billy (Grant, not Reeves), along with guests Gemma Teale, Matt Allard and the brilliant Nathan Caton it looks at, amongst other things, the Leeds game, the transfer window and the comedy moments of the season. Plus, of course, the game at the Amex.

Nathan is always good for a laugh – no bad thing for a comedian – and his observations on Steve Evans certainly made me smile.

Enjoy the podcast. Enjoy the game. Here’s to three points.

Can anyone help?

Nick Bruzon