The annual cry for help. Now with new graphics.

We’ve done the Brentford piece already today. Now is the one for Star Wars fans. We do it every year and, for that, I apologise. Yet at the same, there’s an almost moral obligation to ensure some things are repeated. Yes – it’s annual crap joke day.

Now I love the Star Wars film series (Jar Jar Binks and Yoda aside) and have very much enjoyed the more recent additions to this canon of work. With Harry now five years old, we’ve even started watching the original trilogy together – despite some reservations on his part every time ‘The naughty man’ comes on screen. Likewise, there’s my own having to think on my feet when the questions captivating him are those such as :

“How does Yoda clean his swamp?

Did everyone escape from the Death Star?

Does the naughty man get a new cape every day?”

Yet, sadly, with every bit of renewed interest in the trilogy thanks to his presence comes a downside – and more so at this time of the year. Thursday was the second of May. Friday, the third of May. Today, as I, and most sane people know it, is the fourth of May.

The key phrase here being sane people. Sadly, Sci-fi geeks and lovers of crap jokery everywhere have began infecting social media timelines with the hilarious comment:  ‘May the fourth be with you’ . Apparently it’s funny because today is May the fourth.

Even now, writing those horrible, horrible words, I can feel the bile rising from the pit of my stomach.

It is a joke so weak that even Stan Boardman has probably turned it down. Being able to use Twitter does not, by default, turn you into some form of after dinner speaker whose consummate wit is the talk of society.  The sort of person for whom this ‘line’ is yet another silver tongued arrow fired from your comedic bow.

Please – I beg of you – it’s not too late. It’s not funny, it’s not clever and it’s not original. Stop it. Now. Nobody is laughing. You aren’t Stephen Fry or a modern day Oscar Wilde. The only people laughing are those looking for Twitter ‘hits’ or who think The Krankies have ascended the giddy heights of cultural sophistication.

So this fourth of May, don’t play into the hands of Disney and further promote their Sci-Fi wares. If you really want to enjoy Star Wars then just stick on Rogue One or The Empire Strikes Back..

Just don’t. Make. That. Joke.

They heard it

Nick Bruzon

 

 

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Don’t give in to the Dark Side. An apology

This should be a time for celebration. Brentford fans know what I mean. Instead, I’m angry again as Star Wars, the second best film franchise of all time (nobody can top ‘Roger’ era Bond) sends me to the bitter depths of despair. So angry it’s not even a football article today.

Yes, it is the fourth of May.

I apologise in advance for repeating a lot of what I’ve said before. I love Twitter but today it’s being given a wide berth. Sci-fi geeks and lovers of crap jokery everywhere have, already, began infecting my social media timeline with the hilarious ‘May the fourth be with you’ comment.

Even now, writing those horrible, horrible words, I can feel a little bit of sick rising to the back of my throat.

Please – I beg of you – it’s not too late. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, its not original and using this weak, weak pun does not make you into some 21st Century Oscar Wilde. I love bad wordplay as much as the next man but this limp ‘gag’ forsakes humour for twee. And those are two fields which are a world apart.

It’s the sort of ‘joke’ used by people who find The Krankies or ‘Big Mouth Billy Bass’ ( ‘Take me to the river” – don’t tempt me) the height of cultural sophistication.

So this fourth of May, if you really want to enjoy Star Wars then stick on The Force Awakens or Return of the Jedi. Perhaps fast-forwarding through any Ewok related content.

Just don’t. Use. That. Phrase.