I, for one, welcome our Turmeric overlords.

Irony is alive and well when it comes to all things Brentford. Or life. It’s amazing how things can come back to bite you but the announcement teased on Twitter by Brentford ‘official’ last night suggested we may have a new commercial partner incoming. In the Euros, there were plaudits all round for ITV and their coverage (not a typo) following the Croatia – Spain game. This, for the performance of Emma Hayes, manager of Chelsea women, in the co-commentator’s seat. Then there’s the small matter of England – Germany.

First up, Brentford.  Let me take you back to March 2021. The home game with Nottingham Forest. Yours truly’s programme column started as follows… 

“How much turmeric does one club need? Quite a lot if you are Swansea City, who announced a partnership with The Turmeric Company to become their official supplier for the rest of 2020-21. Rather than for the traditional use in flavouring curries, their products are quickly becoming the gold standard for individuals looking to support their health and wellbeing through nutrition, with their bespoke formula containing key powerful natural ingredients. Not my words, the words of Hal Robson-Kanu. The Wales international being co-founder of the company rather than an amazing leap into the world of Accidental Partridge. Good luck to them. It sounds incredible (much like mushroom based coffee – remember that from a few years ago?) although no explanation is given as to whether it negatively impacts the players’ balance when in the opposition penalty box.”

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon and this announcement from Brentford official….

👀 Watch this space… @TheTurmericCo | #BrentfordFC 🐝 pic.twitter.com/pZMRl7Yv5Q

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) June 28, 2021

What does this mean? A new commercial partner incoming? A new shirt sponsor, even? Perhaps nothing more than Matthew Benham taking control of our Twitter account once more and launching another of his cryptic clues ? The best translation I could get for that one would be us signing Tom Ince, son of Paul.

For those old enough to remember, the self-monikered ‘Guvnor’ was also one of the so-called Liverpool Spice boys alongside Robbie Fowler, Steve McManaman etc back in the 90s. For the record, the name based on hit parade topping all girl pop combo The Spice Girls rather than any laboratory made illegal substance.

We digress, as ever.  What’s happening in the world of Turmeric? If it is kit related, could we see the new Brentford shirt at the same time? Will the big reveal come today? Might we go for the holy trinity of a Frank Onyeka signing photo being published, whilst wearing a Turmeric sponsored top (suddenly thinks: please, no, not the away colours…….) and brandishing a half-chewed biro?

Who knows? All we can say is that domestic news must clearly be very thing on the ground. On a personal note, and I make no apologies for mentioning this again, the season review e-book was last night up to #5 in the Amazon kindle download charts for football. The meat in a Gareth Southgate / Harry Redknapp sandwich.

The reason for continuing to push this is that ALL monies received from anyone kind enough to download one go to the Rob Rowan Memorial fund for CRY. If you could pick up a copy, it would be the most incredibly received gesture whilst may even provide a few moments of entertainment. A Last Word compendium looking back at how we made it onto the Premier league aswell as including all the programme articles from the season, columns which have never been published on line before (there may be a reason for that). As ever, the link is here.

Next up, ITV football. Cue rant about commentators. About adverts. About Hoddle Twaddle style punditry as cringey as The Spice Boys nickname. About cliche by numbers. Yet for those of us just coming in from work last night, the Croatia – Spain game brought us Emma Hayes in the co-commentator’s seat. My word, how good was she? Somebody who actually explained how the game was unfolding, what the teams were doing and the thought process around it rather than just repeating what the anchor had said or we had all just seen. A genuine breath of fresh air in a seat which has so long been the home of repetitive sound bite by numbers. With the Chelsea manager earning what felt like universal acclaim, all of a sudden ITV may not be the poison chalice it might have been when we come down to the decision of which challenge to watch the final on.

All being well, England will be present in that one. Tuesday evening’s game with Germany is about as big as it gets in terms of history. In terms of occasion. Expect mention of 1966 and penalties. Of ruthless efficiency. Of Joachim Löw sniffing his fingers, wherever they may have been moments prior. Cripes, we may aswell just get a bingo card together right now. 

But also expect England to progress. For all Germany are the historic powerhouse of European football, their performances have so far been a very mixed bag. England, on the other hand, may not be setting the world on fire in terms of blockbusting wins but with 7 (seven) points out of 9 from the group stage and no goals conceded, it is perfect progression. Perfect cup football. Get another win on the board and keep going. Gareth Southgate’s game management spot on, so far.

One could almost say, ruthlessly efficient….

Nick Bruzon

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Germans, Fawlty. Flaccid Mannschaft fail to make a semi for first time in 12 years.

Don’t mention the, the, the….VAR. (© the entire internet and newspaper industry). Curses. I feel dirty. Tried to resist it but the opportunity was so blatant and the open goal so gaping it would have been a crime not to jump on the ‘Don’t cry for me, Argentina’ bandwagon of obvious post-defeat puns. But these are strange times. Wednesday’s action saw Germany finish bottom of their World Cup group after going down to South Korea, Brazil ease through the gears and England preparing for a Group G shoot out with Belgium. And, as ever, there’s a Brentford angle. Of sorts.

Just when you thought the World Cup couldn’t get any more exciting, it did. And how! We’ve already seen the likes of Argentina, Portugal and Spain make much harder work of qualifying than they would have been expected to after some quite scintillating group action. Seeded Poland are already out and yesterday afternoon in the biggest of all the shocks, not just for this tournament but in years, Germany were sent home after succumbing 2-0 to South Korea.

Talk about a (Joachim) Low point. The defeat saw them finish rock bottom of the qualifying group as, going for broke after Sweden cruised into an unassailable lead against Mexico, it became a case of win or bust. Two late goals – one reinstated thanks to use of VAR and the other with German ‘keeper Manuel Neuer caught upfield – meant this one was left firmly in the bust camp. That totally unusual, and in no way pleasurable, sight of their fans crying in the stands filling our screens.

Stop. Sniggering. Please.

It was just bizarre. Yet at the same time, brilliant. How often have they swept all before them? The ruthless footballing machine that has claimed trophy after trophy. Despatched those crucial penalties with clinical ease? Invincible. Untouchable. All conquering. Until now. These demi-Gods of the global game, brought to their knees.

It is the first time in 12 years Germany have failed to reach the semi-final of a major tournament. As many twitter wags have already pointed out, who will now beat England on penalties? More importantly, it has thrown the tournament wide open whilst adding even more intrigue to tonight’s game with Belgium.

Specifically, the talk of finishing second being a seemingly more advantageous position to be in. The group winners go into the side of the draw that contains Brazil, Mexico, France, Argentina and Portugal in the knock out stages. The reward for second place is a knockout stage that currently features Spain, Russia, Croatia, Denmark, Sweden and Switzerland. With both sides on level points, goals scored and goal difference, should either fail to win then it will come down to who has the most bookings. At present, a draw will see England will top the pile based on their 2 yellow cards compared to Belgium’s 3.

The BBC show how tight the group is.

Watching last night’s Brazil game on ITV, the subsequent panel discussion was all around this very point. Gary Neville and Ian Wright both stressing the benefits of the so called easier route (whilst failing to note that it also includes Henrik Dalsgaard of Brentford and his Denmark team. I DID say it was an angle, of sorts). Let the big boys knock each other out.  

It is an option seemingly favoured by Belgian coach Roberto Martinez. His own interview suggested wholesale changes were in the offing and players protected. Unless my ears were deceiving me, I could have sworn his interview on ITV included references to it being what he deemed “A celebration game” where “the priority is not to win”.

Also in the geometric hell and magic eye puzzle that is the ITV studio, Slavan Bilic was ploughing a lone furrow. Go for broke. Keep the momentum. Win at all costs. Don’t disrupt the routine. Thing started to get a little bit Daily Mail at this point. Belgium will play the second string. It’s not English to do anything but go for it. The team will play to win. Gareth won’t rotate his squad etc etc

All I’ll say on the subject is that at 8/5 this morning, a price checked with my online bookmaker purely for research purposes, England would seem to be  very generous price. Then again, could it all be the ultimate in double bluffs from Martinez? Or is the safe and easy route against supposedly easier opposition, one they favoured in their own warm up games for the tournament, something that Belgium will look to try and follow once more.

Whilst one can’t imagine they’ll go out of their way to lose / throw the game, perhaps a cagey bore draw is all we have to look forward to. And if this is how things are looking as we head into the final fifteen, could there be a flourish of yellow cards? A bit of back chat here. A ball thrown away there. Just enough to ensure one team tip themselves into second place whilst remaining undefeated.

Then again, and has been said many times, yours truly is just the numpty on the terrace. Plenty of questions and no actual answers. Yet.

I can’t wait until 7(seven) pm when we find out what they are.

Nick Bruzon

PS Just a reminder that The Last Word season Reviews are now available for download. All proceeds from any sales will go to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. For less than the cost of a half / pint respectively, they may help while away some time on the commute, by the pool on holiday or just in the bathroom. Who knows? It will certainly do some good for the Trust, whose work has been well documented at Griffin Park but you can read all about it on their site.

Plus, pick one up before the end of June and go into the draw to win an exclusive Brentford shirt. PLEASE DM/tweet me (@NickBruzon) a copy of your download confirmation mail and I’ll add your name to the list before an independent adjudicator will select a random Bees fan to win this on July 1st.

The Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races. As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself how it all began….

 

Brilliant Brentford surprise the fans, Germany do what Germany do and a selection headache for England.

I’m spent. The World Cup. That was the game that had it all. Most importantly, for Germany. A last, last gasp winner from Toni Kroos has resuscitated a qualification campaign which was on the verge of a fatal collapse. England get their chance today whilst back in West London, Brentford official have been doing their bit for the fans in quite wonderful style as the away shirt momentum builds.

First up, the World Cup. England play this lunchtime with supporters hopeful for another three points. A win will guarantee qualification for the knockout stages before playing Belgium. That’s no bad thing given the stake that was thrust into the ground yesterday. A 5-2 demolition of Tunisia, something that was at complete odds with the cagey second half between England and the North Africans.

The main talking point for this one has to be Gareth Southgate’s selection problem. What does he start with? Not so much the talk of leaked team sheets and his starting XI but more on the fashion front. Given his dislocated shoulder, can a waistcoat and a sling work?

Embed from Getty Images

 

What are the alternatives though? Might he go for the t-shirt favoured by Joachim Löw (although preferably without the lucky ‘scratch and sniff’ – all being well England won’t need a goal that badly). Perhaps a tracksuit top. With the heat reckoned to be up in the 30s this lunchtime (that’s over 90, in proper temperature) you can be sure he won’t be in a jacket.

As one radio observer has noted, whilst no doubt a smart image Gareth’s waistcoat look always puts one in mind of a guest at the latter stages of a wedding reception. I couldn’t agree more.  The jacket, slung on the back of a chair as Come On, Eileen entices people to the disco floor. And for clarity, that’s the chart-topper from Dexy’s Midnight Runners rather than a call for help from Glen Hoddle’s much maligned ‘psychic’, Drewery.

Yet however he looks, one thing is for sure.  I can’t look beyond England to win this one. It then boils down to who can hold their nerve in the game against Belgium. All that’s to come though. Yesterday saw the World Cup at both its finest and most heart-breaking. Poor Sweden. Relentless Germany. With five minutes of additional time signalled you just knew what would happen. Wave after wave of pressure had been resisted. Germany held on despite going down to ten men. Sweden were denied a seemingly blatant penalty. They even took the lead in the first half. And then they were torpedoed by a Kroos missile with what was just about the last kick of the game.

It was a game which had us all gripped. Even yours truly had hauled himself out of the arse groove in the sofa and forward to the edge of the seat. Could Sweden hang on? Would the German be going home early? Tabloid journos were already penning their headlines – ‘Don’t cry for me, Augenthaler’ from one Twitter wag being a favourite of mine.

The answer was a resounding NO. As emphatic a punch to the gut as these Teutonic Titans of World Football rose to the occasion once more. Reel out every cliché about Germany that you want. They’re all true. Viz comic had it spot on with a tweet they put up later that night.

From Viz 196, in 2010. pic.twitter.com/D6ht6rucHE

— Viz Comic (@vizcomic) June 23, 2018

Germany are still by no means through but they’ve kept themselves alive in as dramatic a style as could be imagined. One also needs to pay credit to the ITV commentary team (not a typo). Their second half reference of  ‘and for those of you just coming in from a day out....’ was a neat weekend spin on that classic World cup staple – “and for those of you just coming in from work, the score is…”. I still can’t forgive them for Glenn Hoddle but credit where it is due.

Ok – Brentford. The away shirt. I promised the other day that was me done on it and, in terms of trying to convince you of how magnificent it is, even I can accept that the haters are going to hate it. No amount of words will change that. Hopefully seeing it in the flesh will show how good it is.

Well, the club have responded to some of the feedback in quite magnificent style. Aswell as rewarding several of our younger and most loyal supporters with a surprise delivery, some of those who had been the most scathing have also received a present of a ‘hot off the production line’ new away kit in the post. Along with some Jaffa cakes. Amongst other things.

Supporter Adam Checkley had been one of those to vent his frustration when the shirts were revealed, claiming: that kit is awful! Looks like a Sainsbury’s uniform in 1980’s….keepers kit is great though. Brentford Bob had likened it to a pair of 70s underpants (amongst other, less repeatable, commentary on the subject). As for Sarah, (@BeesBabe195), only that morning she’d still been up in arms, saying: Trust me, I won’t be changing my mind about anything brown & orange. She even added, I don’t need to wait to see it. I know what I like, colour wise & it ain’t a combo of brown and orange.

Then the post man came knocking.

Fair play to Sarah, summing it all up in one tweet: A HUGE thank you to all @BrentfordFC for my fab surprise package! This is one of the very reasons I bloody love the club so much! I shall wear my shirt with pride & who knows, I may even dye my hair green!! I love you guys! 😁❤😍 You really have cheered me up today 🐝

And her sartorial verdict: Seen it & wearing it!!! 😉 It’s still not my favourite, but……… it’s growing!

She wasn’t alone. Upon receipt of his surprise package, Adam took to Twitter where he declared: blown away with the package this morning…our club is in very safe hands ! 👏🐝 It’s growing on me defo and a definite cult classic bees shirt. Later adding that: Will be up there with the Chad kit and yellow / Black kit as ones we’ll be talking about in 20 years

Even Bob seemed to take his delivery in good humour, although there was was some (understandable) concern on the pants front:

Well, someone at @BrentfordFC does at least have a sense of humour.  Slightly concerning that they knew my pant size, and they’re in Fulham colours obvs.  I can confirm that the shirt looks even worse in the flesh and particularly bad on a fat man in his late forties. 🙂

A new shirt and three pairs of pants

I love this. It’s brilliant. We all know the shirt has divided fans but what a way to respond. What a way to show your sense of humour. What a way to try and persuade people that it’s a lot nicer than they may have first thought. What a way to engage with supporters.

And on a completely unrelated note, may I be the first to say how much I loathe the new home shirt that we haven’t seen yet. I can only presume it looks like something that Bully might have worn on Bullseye. What a disgrace.

Finally, please don’t forget that I’d like to give one supporter an ultra-rare 2017/18 ‘third shirt’ with Lewis Macleod’s squad number on the reverse in EFL font. Anyone with half an interest in Bees kits will know that these were never made available in the club shop. Indeed, this has been given to me by a source close to the club.   

All you need to do is download one of the Last Word season reviews. This isn’t a get rich slow scheme for yours truly. All proceeds from any sales will go to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. For less than the cost of a half / pint respectively, they may help while away some time on the commute. By the pool on holiday. In the bathroom. Who knows? It will certainly do some good for the Trust, whose work has been well documented at Griffin Park but you can read all about it on their site.

To be in with a chance of owning this shirt, download a copy of either before the end of June 2018 – details below – and you’ll go into a draw to win this. Just PLEASE DM/tweet me (@NickBruzon) a copy of your purchase confirmation mail and I’ll add your name to the list before an independent adjudicator will select a random Bees fan to win this on July 1st.

The Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races. As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. 

THANK YOU

Nick Bruzon

KK bids farewell (for now). But is it the right decision?

“This is the moment for the Austrian. And what a moment it is.” Not my words but those enthused by Beesplayer commentator par excellence Mark Burridge to describe the goal scored by Konstantin Kerschbaumer as Brentford retook the lead deep into injury time against Brighton back in February. It was a strike worthy of the shortlist for goal of the season yet it was announced yesterday that the Austrian is off on loan to Germany where he will spend 2017/18 with DSC Arminia Bielefeld.

KK is in there, somewhere, celebrating a ‘winner ‘ against Brighton

The immediate question is why? Specifically, why has this happened and why wasn’t he ever given a decent run in the side? That Brighton goal was the obvious cherry on the cake of two years at Griffin Park and it’s been no secret on these pages that he’s been a player yours truly would have given much more game time. The interplay between himself and Scott Hogan at the end of Dean Smith’s first season suggested such huge potential yet despite plenty of patchy performances from his team mates, he’s never been given a proper crack of the whip.

Then again, Dean Smith is head coach for a reason and I’m just the numpty on the terrace. He was quoted on ‘official’ yesterday as saying, “With the quality we have in the squad, we cannot guarantee game time for anyone”. Presumably, unless your name is Nico? Or Ryan? Or Romaine? Or Josh (subject to injury)? That’s meant as no disrespect to any of these players but more to make the point that a settled and pretty much guaranteed midfield is something Dean has set out to build. As such, it seemed a somewhat contradictory statement.

KK rightly deserving of a place in this pantheon of net busting brilliance

 

Stats. Is there a scarier, more mis-construed word in the Griffin Park vocabulary? The journalistic zombie that Matthew Benham just can’t kill? Well, I’m going to play the stats game here with a few.

First up – this from our own Luis Melville back in April. If anybody can nail a killer stat it’s Luis. This one is very simple but very to the point.

Just to hammer home that Konstantin Kerschbaumer assist stat relative to his game time… #goalsupplier 👏👏👏#BrentfordFC#FFCBEES pic.twitter.com/pAUIEUHEXZ

— Luis Melville (@LuisMelville) April 30, 2017

It’s interesting to see Luis responding to Ted Knutson (who was of course hugely involved in Player Analytics at Smartodds). For our second piece of statistical reference, a piece written by Ted in May 2017 says more about the player then these pages could ever hope to do. For me, his key statistical point being:

“2320 minutes, 1 goal, 12 assists.

That’s an assist rate of about .47 per 90, which is in the top 3% of footballers. Kersch also doesn’t take set pieces, meaning nearly all of his assists come from open play. To give you an idea of how unusual this is, in the last four seasons in the Championship nine players have posted 12 assists or more, all with more minutes and nearly all of them taking set pieces.”

There’s so much more to Ted’s column than just that stat. For those doubting what Konstantin added, please do have a read. If nothing else, it gives a fascinating insight into the Brentford recruitment process. At the same time, take a positive from the fact that, officially, the player is going out to Germany to get game time under his belt. With a Jota style additional year added to his contract (see also: Jack Bonham and Carlisle), could he return even bigger and better than ever before? Here’s hoping.

Whether you would pick KK or not (and one thing I’d agree with Dean on is that the squad has midfield quality) the simple fact is that the head coach has never seen fit to give a player he inherited an extended run. Personally, I disagree but that’s football. Dean and his team must have known the statistical evidence so perhaps there is something more to it than that.

Who knows why and who knows where we’ll all be in 12 months time? I, for one, could quite honestly never ever see Jota coming back after heading out to Eibar on loan. Nobody needs any reminder of just how wonderfully that played out.

Could the same thing happen again? Just imagine….

And if you’d like to read more about KK, that goal and last season then please don’t forget (how could you?) that the regular season review e-book is now available for download. This one is titled ‘Welcome home, King Jota’  and this time around it is for a great cause. All funds raised are being given to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. Likewise, any subsequent sales from the previous versions.

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 2016 to May 2017 and a bit of new material too, you can pick it up, here. It’s just £1.99.

So why not do something great to help our club. What else will £1.99 get you? What better way to spend some time on the commute to work, the beach, by the pool or even hiding out in the toilet at work? You might even enjoy it !

For less than the cost of half a pint on match day, it’s the season review that has been designed to fit in your pocket (if you are using an i-phone).

Nick Bruzon

As our rivals show their true colours, what kit clues can we learn so far?

With the odds of anything exciting happening in Brentford at this time of the year 5/1 or longer, its been the perfect time for a summer break. And coming back on line today, it’s all been going off. At least, if you are a kit nerd as fellow Championship stablemates / Adidas label mates Sheffield United and Sunderland are amongst those to launch their new home kit. But should we be looking further to Germany and Bayern Munich?

There’s been some off-field stuff too, but we can only begin with kit and the desperate search for any clues as to what the Bees will be wearing in 2017/18. New launches (especially at Championship level where template design is so often the way for many clubs) are fallen upon as hungrily as a past his sell-by-date detective trying to unravel a two year unsolved crime when presented with fresh evidence. Whilst said ‘evidence’ is probably steering everyone up a blind alley, there’s no harm taking a look. If you chuck enough mud, perhaps some will stick no matter how inaccurate the guess.

As such, can we read anything into what has come out so far?

The weekend saw Sunderland off the mark with an effort reminiscent of our own 88/89 centenary shirt. Broad stripes being replaced by a plethora of thin efforts in the traditional red and white. With matching collar and cuffs in black, will it be sufficient to save Sunderland from our own fate from 19 years ago?

Namely, the shirt looking pink when viewed from a distance of anything over five yards away. More importantly, could Kitman Bob have something like this up his sleeve? Here’s hoping not, if initial feedback from Brentford supporters on social media is anything to go by.

Are Sunderland emulating the Funky Bee?

My own opinion is that this one is a stinker. But who knows? In the flesh it may look better. Stranger things have happened.

Then, on Monday, it was Sheffield United’s turn. Their shirt for next season is a stunner. Broad red and white interspersed with black pinstripe puts one in mind of the Brentford 2000-02 shirt. After that, things take a left field swerve. Unusual black shoulders and black side panels ensure the Blades will be looking sharp next season. It’s different, no doubt, but I love it.

Could this give us an indication as to how the Bees may turn out? Kitman Bob Oteng was revealing nothing about our own version beyond an admission on Twitter that, “I personally like this new home shirt than last season”. And, likewise : “Well it’s red & white ! That’s it.”

Sheffield United looking sharp ahead of 2017/18

Yet if these are both twists on the traditional red and white combo, Adidas have really pushed the envelope with Bayern Munich’s forthcoming shirt. Adding white stripes where these are not usually seen they have, as we saw with Juventus in the previous column, produced something that is retro yet stylish. Wonderfully stylish. Perhaps it is seeking this in red and white already (rather than my own ham fisted photoshop) but I think it’s the best of the bunch to date.

But we won’t be wearing this. Sadly. If for no other reason than why would Bayern let us get our hands on their kit ?

Bayern Munich’s new kit. I’ve seen wurst.

Looking elsewhere in the Championship we’ve also seen Nottingham Forest, Ipswich Town and Birmingham City reveal Adidas branded kit. ‘Safe’ would seem to be the key word here which is a shame from many respects.

Very much fitting into the ‘goes well with jeans’ category, there’s nothing to overly get the pulse flickering although at least Mark Warburton’s boys will have a touch of pinstripe. For the nostalgic amongst us, a nice nod back to 82-84 and 92-94.

Adidas play it safe looking further across the Championship.

This is, as ever, all conjecture though. Last season’s Brentford shirt took us all by surprise. I have no doubt Chief Executive Mark Devlin, Kitman Bob et al will be planning similar this time around. That is to say, taking us by surprise rather than a safe, goes well with jeans piece of football fashion.

Let’s be honest, none of us have a clue. No matter what we’d like the answer to be, no matter what we chuck out there on social media, we really don’t know anything. No matter what we think. There’s nothing we can do but wait for the answer to be revealed. Whenever that may be. And I can’t wait.

The big news off field concerns Nico Yennaris. It was announced yesterday that he has signed a four year contract extension in a deal which will keep him at Griffin Park until summer 2021. This is great reward for a player who has crept up the blindside to become an ever present in the Brentford team and very much one of our unsung heroes. The only player to feature in every game last season, despite some formidable competition around him, Nico’s goal at Birmingham City is still one that gets the juices flowing. Even now. Here’s hoping for more of the same next season. And if you’d like to read more, Brentford official has the full story.

Contract news for Nico

Along with dreaming about kit and nothing much else happening, the other traditional thing at this time of year is the plugging of the season review e-book. Please. Stay with me – this time around it is for a great cause . All funds raised are being given to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. Likewise, any subsequent sales form the previous versions.

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 16 to May 17 and a bit of new material too, you can pick it up, here. It’s all for a great cause and, hey, you may even enjoy it.

So why not do something great to help our club. What else will £1.99 get you? What better way to spend some time on the commute to work, the beach, by the pool or even hiding out in the toilet at work? You might even enjoy it !

For less than the cost of half a pint on match day, it’s the season review that has been designed to fit in your pocket (if you are using an i-phone).

HUGE thanks to everyone who has downloaded it so far.

Nick Bruzon

Will Gibraltar get Cold Feet? Are more brackets being served? Can England learn?

With another five days until Brentford travel to Brighton (assuming you are reading this on a Tuesday morning) the Championship’s barren period continues. When the return of TV’s Cold Feet was Monday’s main draw – and tell me, what sort of world do we live in where this can be lauded yet a remake of Are You Being Served so derided? – then it remains for International football to act as our main form of sustenance. Can Gibraltar whet the appetite this evening following the frugal fare served up on Sunday by England?

The only ‘cold feet’ I’m interested in

Well, it would be fair to say that the bar has been raised. Bitter-rivals Spain filled their shooting boots with an 8-0 humping of Liechtenstein last night. No cold feet here, quite the opposite – the Spaniards were on fire. The only sour note, from a footballing perspective, the failure of all and sundry to correctly note the score as things went to 7(seven) – 0.

Even Brentford club sponsors 888 Sport got it wrong on Twitter, despite that rarest of things -a humorous GIF (see also : memes). Still, at least they had the good grace to later apologise for what, must surely, been an oversight based purely on the excitement of the occasion.  Wales, likewise, picked up where they left off in the Euros. A 4-0 tonking of Moldova proving that Chris Coleman’s boys have lost none of their drive or ambition. Which begs two questions.

Firstly, why couldn’t England ? Instead it was just like watching Mrs Browns Boys. A tedious, repetitive one trick pony which, despite an almost moral obligation to watch not many people were, if we’re being honest, actually enjoying it. A sort of footballing Emperor’s New Clothes.

More importantly, can Gibraltar go one better than a Euro qualifying campaign in which the highlights were almost scoring in Germany and actually scoring in Scotland? That aside, it was a series of brackets and, despite some fierce national pride, an eventual end to Group D with ‘nil points’.

I’m not a (total) idiot. Even England have more chance of lifting the World Cup, or qualifying for it, than the boys from the Rock. Yet the harsh lessons of that qualifying group would have stood them in good stead. And this time around, instead of the likes of Germany, Ireland or Poland, opponents include Cyprus and Estonia.

The fact that my current online bookmaker (used purely for reference purposes) doesn’t even offer Gibraltar a price to win the group is, I am sure, just a glitch in the Internet. Something that will be corrected as they shock all comers at 28/1 to beat Greece this evening.

Six participants but only five available to bet on

On paper, no chance. I grant you that and can see how, looking in, that’s what you’d expect. Yet minnows have to start somewhere. Just look at the likes of Albania, Turkey and Scotland. And tonight could be that night.

Cast your mind back a few months and to the qualifiers for the Champions League.

Lincoln Red Imps, domestic champions on the Rock, entertained none other than Glasgow Celtic in a second qualifying round first leg tie. Despite Brendan Rodgers  coming out like the love child of Russell Slade and Steve Evans ( please, for the love of God, don’t visualise it) no amount of sour grapes or bluster could disguise the fact that his Bhoys ended the game on the wrong end of a 1-0 defeat .

Upsets can happen. Every now and again, result comes along to shock the footballing world. Even if they can’t do it tonight, watching Gibraltar try to beat the odds has got to be a hell of a lot more entertaining than Big Sam’s England or ITV comedy dramas.

Failing that, brackets are 8-1.

Gibraltar have packed their boots to start World Cup qualifiers

Nick Bruzon 

The voting may have closed (for now) but you can still join in

What can you say? Brentford are on tour and normal service has resumed. Whilst the eyes of the world may have been focussed on Cristiano Ronaldo’s tears as Portugal upset France to win Euro2016, over in Germany it was tears of pain and laughter as the annual singing contest for new players and staff got underway. Peter Gilham has published his latest diary although I note that this season it has been rebranded as a blog (don’t sink this low, Peter 😉 ). And we have the latest entrants into the photo caption competition that’s not a competition but just a bit of fun.

The annual singing competition is back – judging sure to be tough

First up, singing. Actually, first up, hats off to Brentford ‘official’. Yes, you DID read that correctly. I make no secret of some previous observations but, likewise, full credit must be paid where it is due. And , I have to say, coverage of the training camp has been nothing short of excellent. The photographs, the updates, the videos, the use of social media and , of course, the ever popular tour diary/blog.

At a time when it might be trickier than normal to keep fans engaged, quite the opposite has been done. For me, the highlight has been the singing videos – goalkeeper Daniel Bentley pushing it up to 11 on the performance stakes.

Dan Bentley takes it to the next level

John Egan and Romaine Sawyers deserve full credit for effort, although its fair to say that Romaine is no Rachel Stevens. The again, who is? Results for the current round have just finished with Dan’s performance in the pool making him a runaway success  and exempt from any future performance.

Not such good news for Romaine and John who, alongside Jan Holldack,  get to ‘go again’.  Given fans have already been afforded the chance to participate in that first round of voting, can we expect more?

Certainly, the close out to the videos suggests so as it advises : “The four worst, as voted by the players, STAFF and YOU go through to the next round. The two with the most retweets and player votes are saved….! “

As ever, #GermanyBees looks like the place to stay in touch with the action.

And finally, I must thank all those who have taken the time to come up with entries to the Last Word photo competition that’s not an actual competition, just a bit of fun. If you fancy having a go then just post a comment. We’ll keep this running for one more day but a selection of the (printable) entries received so far are below….

More great work c/o ‘The official’ Brentford social media feed

 

Chris Whittart : Did you see the tweet from Sam Saunders ? Winner, end of, game over

Paul Deller: Not only did I have a tenner on Griezmann first goal, I done France half time full time

Terrace Wag: When someone asked about transfer policy……

David Carney: Apparently QPR and Fulham are almost certain favourites for relegation…

Danny Billy Baynham: So do you follow this stats lark lads ?

Dave Hall : My mate down the pub said “Fulham are going up’’.

Jim Myers : And you’re telling me Fulham could have signed Griezmann ?

Last Word: I even saw one guess that we’ll be playing in red and white stripes next season.

Nick Bruzon

Barcelona lose the plot as Sam wins Twitter for German Bees

Brentford are in Germany. FC Barcelona have totally lost the plot. Sam Saunders has come out with the all time best ever tweet. Those are pretty much the highlights from a day that saw The Bees travelling to their summer training camp.

As at the time of writing (Sunday 7am), we are still waiting on the first entry from Peter Gilham’s tour diary to bring us up to speed on the latest from the squad. Whilst it’s probably a bit early to expect him to be putting pen to paper, at least there was plenty out there yesterday to keep us updated on social media.

I believe ‘Snapchat’ may have pictures whilst both @BrentfordFC Twitter and the hashtag #GermanyBees are the place for further information and images. Likewise do check the club figures where, amongst others, Kitman Bob has been on his usual prolific form.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have no idea who drives Brentford ‘official’. Is it an individual, a shared responsibility or ‘car keys in a bowl’ to see who gets the password? However, it definitely seems to have been on the up in recent months following some of those earlier dabbles with, what we’ll politely call, dubious hashtags (hopefully the likes of #trophyfriends and #bignewambitions will remain nothing but an odd memory).

Yesterday saw the ‘good’ side of official continue with, amongst other things, a series of photos that surely provide the basis for a caption competition in weeks to come.

This, being my particular favourite – both for the image and the curiosity as to what had elicited such a response.

If anybody has any suggestions/captions then please feel free to add as a comment and we’ll print them tomorrow.

“I even saw one guess that we’ll be playing in red and white stripes next season”

If Brentford are on good form with Twitter (and hold on Sam Saunders fans, we will get there) it would be fair to say that over in Spain things aren’t going quite so well. The famous terrace chant may once have declared us to be : The Barcelona of the lower leagues but the Catalan Giants seem hellbent on rebranding themselves the Brentford of La Liga. When it comes to hashtags, that is.

With the story of multi-millionaire Lionel Messi being found guilty of tax evasion this week, heavily fined and sentenced to 21 months in jail (a term he will not have to serve ??!) all over the media, Barca have looked to do something to counter the stories and subsequent rumours flying around. However, what they have come out with is something utterly disrespectful to anybody how has ever worked a day in their life (assuming they’ve paid their tax).

Rather than hold up his hands to say, “Sorry, it’s a far cop guv, you’ve got me bang to rights” they’ve gone the other way. Supporters have been asked to show their support by posting a message or photo with both hands open, accompanied by the hashtag : #WeAreAllLeoMessi

I’m not sure what support they expect people to be offering a convicted fraudster. Surely now is the time for a spot of contrition or just lying low? Even the choice of phrase had a rather distasteful similarity to the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ reference that helped people show unity after the January 2015 terrorist attacks in France. When Jimmy Carr suddenly has the moral high ground in the tax evasion stakes then you know things are bad.

Personally, I followed their request to the letter and came up with this.

Per @FCBarcelona : Use hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi and post a photo with both hands open. Ok, if you insist… pic.twitter.com/MOL9LmUvES

— Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon) July 9, 2016

It wasn’t just me. The response to #We AreAllLeo Messi was almost universally scathing. If you are bored today then do take a look at the hashtag to see the latest. Failing that, here are but a smattering  :

How is the hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi trending? I thought the majority of the population pay tax.

— John (@johnthemascot) July 9, 2016

 

If you're reluctant to pay tax on your half million pounds per week. This is the hashtag for you! #WeAreAllLeoMessi https://t.co/a2QjeMO3Pe

— Adam Devlin (@ad_I_am) July 9, 2016

#WeAreAllLeoMessi – Oh wait, we’re not, because we pay our taxes and he quite clearly doesn't. He’s not the victim. Shameful from Barcelona.

— Liam Canning (@OffsideLiam) July 9, 2016

from now on, this will be known as the tax evader emoji 🤗 #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Jack Grimse (@JackGrimse) July 9, 2016

If #WeAreAllLeoMessi, why am I eating 2-day-old pizza leftovers out of the fridge?

— Howler Magazine (@whatahowler) July 9, 2016

All good, but for a Bees related slant this one nails it for me:

It comes to something when #brentfordfc aren't responsible for a shit hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Mr Gray (@DeloreanGray) July 9, 2016

And relax.

“Oh Sammy Saunders you are the love of my life. Oh Sammy Saunders I’d let you (have relations with) my wife.”

Not my words but… Actually, they are my words along with those of close to 10,000 other Brentford supporters in honour of the perma-tanned wing-wizard, swim short magnate and terrace hero. Week in, week out the song is sung to our wonderful number 7 (seven). And rightly so.

So despite all the Barcelona related nonsense on twitter yesterday, it was none other than Sam who pretty much closed the social media network down as any form of contest.

This, when asked for some inspirational words ahead of a supporter’s impending nuptials…

@samsaunders7 best m8 gets wed 2day,massive bees fan,cld u send back a msge 4me 2read in me speech please?

— TomPDavies (@Tom_P83) July 9, 2016

Now she's your wife remember "the song" now applies 😂👍🏻 https://t.co/qofhJ2CEXR

— Sam Saunders (@samsaunders7) July 9, 2016

I can’t beat that. Nobody can. We may aswell just give it up now. Peter Gilham has got a tough act following Sam when his tour diary comes out.

Nick Bruzon 

And finally…. :   The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. For all the info, the highs, the lows, more highs then  you can do so now.

Its been a wonderful three years. Here’s to more of the same over 2016/17. Thanks, as ever, for reading.

Italian has a new ‘that penalty’ as Roy draws a parallel.

How on earth do you follow Friday’s news? The story of Jake Bidwell jumping on the 237 from Brentford to QPR was more than surpassed by that incredible announcement of a Bees boss in triple transfer swoop. Sorry for repeating this line but I just love how we’ve finally pulled this most longed for of footballing curios out of the bag.

Like orange balls in the snow, goalkeepers scoring, outfield players having to go in goal, a sub subbed and the request to the crowd for a replacement ref, this is the sort of thing that normally resides in the back of the box marked ‘oddities’.

Actually, can I also add : visiting team forgetting their kit and having to play in the home side’s away strip. Although, personally, in those circumstances I’ve always though we should just adopt the old school ‘shirts v skins’ rule from gym class. Or was that just my school?

But I digress. The answer to the opening question being that you can’t. At least, on a Championship front. Even Brentford have more than overplayed their trump hand in fan satisfaction with that wonderful triumvirate of transfers. That said, two further points of note from Friday.

Firstly, that the players were photographed in two of the three standard poses. Bearing the ‘signing scarf’ aloft and then, later, sitting at a table in front of a blank sheet of paper. Sadly, there wasn’t to be an accidental reveal of the new home kit. Looks like we really will be kept waiting until mid-July for that one. Bob, if you are reading, please put us put of our misery.

Romaine sports the signing scarf

And secondly, it seems our rivals have more than a passing interest in all things Griffin Park. Ten out of ten for value to those QPR fans who kindly visited these pages yesterday to leave us their thoughts on the Jake Bidwell article.

All I’ll say on that one is, “The table doesn’t lie. 12th, wasn’t it….“?

Instead, we are left to dwell on last night’s EURO 2016 action between Germany and Italy. A game which provided a further addition to the aforementioned list. Namely that of the penalty shoot out.

After further exhausting the players with a half hour of extra time, we were treated to as bad a display of penalty taking as you could ever hope to see. And it was brilliant.

With the Italians seemingly coached by Diana Ross, I was half expecting Marcello Trotta to come off the bench at one point. Instead, we got Simone Zaza dancing up to the penalty spot. Shuffling awkwardly like a giraffe with diahorrea trying to hold it in before hoofing it miles over the bar, Tarkowski style. That he had been brought on seconds before extra time ended for this one, specific, job made it all the more tragic.

But he wasn’t alone. The normally infallible Germans failed. Twice. This, before normality resumed and players from both sides began tucking them away for fun. In the end it was, of course, Germany who went through. Penalties. Come on. We all know what happens there and, sure enough, form told.

It was an utterly compelling end to a hard fought game and for all the wrong reasons. Or, as a neutral, for all the right reasons. Because that’s all most of us were last night. England’s capitulation still seems as raw now as it did on Monday night whilst Gibraltar didn’t even make it out of the qualifying group to reach France.

With Wales (and belated congratulations there) achieving a first ever semi, it only makes you realise even more what England missed out on. Oh for the chance to have even been able to think about cocking up penalties.

Instead, its not even a case of ‘what might have been’ and more one of ‘how on earth did Roy get it so wrong’?

Talking about this last night to one New Road observer, the conversation got on to how well England would have fared had Marinus Dijkhuizen been in charge. Of course, that’s just conjecture but win, lose or draw the one thing you can say is that at least we’d have got some straight answers after the games. Marinus certainly liked to tell it how it was, unlike Roy whose pre-prepared resignation speech was followed the next day with an opening gambit of “I really don’t know what I’m doing here”.

Which then immediately drew another Bees related parallel. With thanks to supporter Antonio Bergasse (and his moment of the season)….

Nick Bruzon

Good news for the Bees? Are Newcastle this season’s Leeds? And ‘Big Jim’ is at it again

Finally. Today’s the day. The Championship fixtures are announced at 9am. Us Brentford fans find out when we resume hostilities with the likes of the Loftus Road mob or Fulham aswell as undertaking journeys to league pastures new(ish) such as Aston Villa, Burton Albion and Newcastle United. And over in the Euros, those bemoaning the England team can, perhaps, take a little more comfort after seeing Spain come unstuck.

First up though, the fixtures. If these were commentated on (and knowing how Sky Sports News works, nothing would surprise me) I’d expect the line , “For those of you just getting in to work” to be trotted out as these are revealed.

Key dates, as ever, remain first home and away games, both local derbies, the season denouement and whether a Christmas visit from the in-laws will, at least, be tempered by knowing we can escape down the road on Boxing day.

I’ve seen a lot of talk on social media getting excited about the likes of the aforementioned Newcastle, Aston Villa and Burton. Not surprisingly, given league encounters against those three are rarer than a Nick Proschwitz goal. We did, at least, play the Magpies back in 92/93, although 1-2 and 5-1 defeats represented a poor haul against the eventual Division 1 (this was pre Championship) winners.

For me, though, Fulham will be the first name to look out for. Having taken 10 points and 11 goals from them in the four games since our return to the Championship, the chance to continue that run is one which only excites. Stuart Dallas, Jota in the last minute(s), Sam Saunders and an unexpected home debut for Tom Field are just a few of the memories that spring to mind. Here’s to creating a few more.

I can’t wait for the chance to do this again

Roll on 9am when we can start planning the next season and seeing if those dates we’ve already been obliged to mark in the calendar as busy (who gets married between August and May?) are going to see a bullet dodged or backfire massively.

At least, on the planning front, we’ll be offered a small helping hand. Sky have confirmed that aswell as the fixtures they “will confirm details of our first three televised matches alongside the main fixtures announcement”. The ongoing carve up of the fixture list in the name of TV coverage has been a source of frustration for many, albeit an understandable one given their contract to cover live games. Hopefully this does mean we can start to plan the first couple of away trips without fear of having to rebook train tickets.

Besides, the Bees shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Just as we are looking forward to visiting Villa Park, Carrow Road et al, I’m sure the Sky producers have similar, audience grabbing, aspirations. Don’t expect Brentford to feature ‘on the road’ for a while. I can see Newcastle United becoming last season’s Leeds United with a TV game every five minutes or so.

Over in France, meanwhile, the Euros continued with Croatia beating many people’s favourites, Spain. Thanks, largely, to goalkeeper Danijel Subasic rewriting the penalty law and being about three yards forward when he saved Sergi Ramos’ spot kick with the scores locked at 1-1 late on.

Northern Ireland, meanwhile, also reached the last 16 despite losing 1-0 to Germany and their talismanic striker yet to kick a ball in anger. Will Grigg’s on the bench, rather than on fire. And, just as after their 2-0 win over Ukraine where we treated to ‘that dance’, Charlie Lawson (TV’s Jim McDonald) was in celebratory mood, enjoying a large Black Bush and delivering a hushed soliloquy to camera from what appeared to be a farmhouse kitchen.

To see such passion and support is a beautiful thing. I love it. Who knows what Charlie will do should they reach the last 8? It’ll be fun finding out though, so it will.

How about you there, Northern Ireland

Nick Bruzon

And finally…. :  With Brentford almost set to ‘go again’  The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. Should anybody want to go over this nonsense, re-live a stunning few seasons  of Championship life once more and remind ourselves how things turned out after that penalty’ you can do so now.

Here’s to more of the same over 2016/17. Thanks, as ever, for reading.