A dinosaur made extinct. Could we suffer the same fate?

Has anybody checked in on Buzz and Buzzette? With transfer deadline passing yesterday for the Premier league, the biggest story was nothing to do with Benrahma or Brentford but Arsenal and the shameful sacking of their club legend dinosaur (insert your own Arsene Wenger joke here), mascot Gunnersaurus. After 23 years he has gone. Terminated. With a tweet, rather than an Uzi nine millimetre. It’s a sad day for all lovers of our anthropomorphic furry friends. Like our own Buzzette with her amazing dance moves or the incredible Kingsley at Partick Thistle, the Arsenal icon has been very much at the top of the tree when it comes to keeping the crowds entertained. Now, this dinosaur has been made extinct. Another high profile victim of the Corona curse.

Fur-well

What else can you say? Sad times. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Gunnersaurus in action at the Emirates (when Brentford played there in the league cup a few season back) but also at The Oval.

A trip to a T20 cricket game saw the game conclude with a London mascot race. There were our own stars taking part, along with none other than the Arsenal legend. What an honour (it must have been, I’d imagine) to share a pre-match race area. For the great and the good to rub velour shoulders. To stumble around an Its-a-knockout style obstacle course.

Why so sad, Gunnersaurus?

It begs the question as to whether the budget is really cutting it that tight at the Emirates? Is this high profile casualty the first of many? Certainly at Brentford we’ve tried to keep the match day experience as ‘real’ as is possible with Peter Gilham still doing his thing on the public address system as though performing to a full house. Yet Buzz and Buzzette have been conspicuous by their absence. Or am I just extremely unobservant?  

Kingsley broke cover last night to give his own verdict on proceedings. Whilst I was half-expecting the Partick colossus to wreak furry vengeance on the Arsenal board, he’s taken a much more diplomatic stance. Well done. Moreso, using the phrase ‘very funny’ alongside a picture that included Jimmy Carr but it being a reference to the mascot rather than comedian’s tax returns.

Had the pleasure of meeting @Gunnersaurus at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.@Oldfirmfacts1 @Arsenal @99scunnybunny99 @NickBruzon @Grayou_officiel @Hammerhead @KateWilliamsme @davidshrigley @yorkshireangbee pic.twitter.com/VmaPxbxonS

— Kingsley (@ThistleMascot) October 5, 2020

As Mrs. Bruzon put so eloquently. “My God. The tight aresholes. F. Off. How pikey. What does that mean for all the other mascots? Of all the things to penny pinch on.“

Harsh but fair.

There’s not much else to add. Farewell, Gunnersaurus. I await the kickstarter campaign or high profile appeal to reinstate him with interest. Until then, how about giving Buzzette a run out?

More of this, please. Before it’s too late

Nick Bruzon

Match Of The Day scandal ruins transfer news.

“Mate I’m scandalised…” Not my words but those of Brentford supporter JJ (he of the goal inducing dodgy bladder from the Ealing Road) that reached me last night via the medium of text message. They are words that should unite supporters of every club from West Bromwich Albion and Arsenal to Partick Thistle, Forfar Athletic and beyond. Words which even eclipsed our own news about the signing of striker Nikos Karelis. All this, after reading an article in his son Felix’s copy of BBC Match Of The Day Magazine.

Nikos. Blown away by a scandal from Lineker et al

Mrs. Browns Boys. Made up coffee words – where I gather Star*ucks have now added Trenta to their ‘made up words‘ size range that also includes ‘Tall’ (small, obviously), ‘Grande’ and ‘Venti’. Team GB. Bernie Clifton or, rather, his tinpot England ‘supporters’ ‘band’. Polls about ‘Best Bond’ which have Roger Moore anywhere except number one. Espresso spelt or pronounced Expresso. The world’s weakest joke: Star Wars Day (the one between May the third and May the fifth – aka the fourth of May in our house) etc etc etc. Regular readers – should such a concept somehow exist – know the drill.

There are few things in life which annoy me as much as any of these. Yet Match Of The Day magazine may have just joined the list. Specifically in the latest edition of their publication which included a ‘Best Mascot’ feature.

There was no Buzzette. Anywhere. Gunnersaurus, the Arsenal thing, was absent despite winning the recent World Cup of football mascots. Somehow. West Brom’s Boilerman was conspicuous by his absence. Perennial favourite Kingsley of Partick Thistle was there, although somehow languishing in third place. I’ll let JJ pick up the rest of the analysis with a direct copy paste…

Buzzette – absent. Kingsley – booted into Bronze medal position

JJ: Mate I’m scandalised to see that in Match of the Day magazine the force of nature that is Kingsley is only down at number three for their Mascot of the Year, merely one place above the utter atrocity that is the Euro 2020 effort, ahem, “Skillzy” (take my word for it mate, don’t even look the bastard up…). Not only that but I see that at number one is Wigan’s own Crusty the Pie- all well and good but I hate to break it to the chattering classes fawning over this “ironic and kitsch” dough based hero but Forfar Athletic’s “Baxter the Bridie” beat him to it by several years… 

As regards (shudder…) “Skillzy” I reckon the whole situation can be summed up in three words-anodyne..corporate..wank. Case rests m’lud… Rant over…

Baxter – Noooooooooo

Despite the advice not to, I’ve looked up Skillzy…..

It’s true. Everything JJ says and more. Bad enough that the mascot looks like a cross-eyed serial killer wearing a dead skin mask made from the face of one of his victims. Yet the most heinous of his crimes being use of the extraneous ‘z’ in…’Skillzy’.  Oh, and the top knot. It is a level of bland self-indulgence previously only enjoyed by the aforementioned coffee company. (Large will be fine, thank you). 

Crusty is good, to be fair, but for this new kid on the block to shoot straight in at number is symptomatic of today’s ‘quick fix’ society. Instant gratification syndrome. What a terrible example for any young children who may be reading. Granted, the target audience of the offending publication.

The likes of Buzzette, Kingsley and long established Gunnersaurus have put in all manner of hard yards over the years only to be dismissed in a heartbeat. I must admit to not being overly familiar with Baxter but am sure that Forfar fans will be as frustrated as I am this morning. Possibly.

And, on other news,Brentford official were pleased to say  #WelcomeNikos yesterday. A one year deal has been signed with the option of a second season. Could he be the final piece in the jigsaw? Roll on Saturday’s trip to Charlton where we find out. I’d love to talk more about his but , to quote JJ, “I’m scandalised” by the whole mascot thing.

Now, does anybody have a phone number for The Daily Mail….?

Skill’z’y – appearing on a ‘Wanted’ poster soon

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells