Can anyone beat Droid Owusu? Are these the three best videos ever?

With Brentford facing home games against both Fulham (cup) and Preston North End (league) in the next few days, there’s going to be a whole load of on-pitch stuff to talk about between now and Monday morning. So for now, there a bit of a round up regarding season tickets – admin and humour. Plus, because we can, the latest in the series of ‘spotter denied’ videos. Something which is nothing to do with football but always worth a watch – even if it did see legions of Harry Potter fans (the boy wizard rather than the green-jacketed super fan) left distraught. Stop sniggering.

Brentford’s own Harry Potter

First up, season tickets. Friday October 2nd is the deadline to ‘Freeze. Reserve. Refund’.  Whilst, for many, the first option is the most practical, individual circumstances may well be different. These are tough times for many. As such I guess this is as much a note to remind supporters that the default option for taking no action will be ‘Freeze’, with all the associated benefits of course.

The club have sent reminder emails whilst anybody with questions can either email tickets@brentfordfc.com with your query or call our Box Office team on 0333 005 8521 and they will be happy to assist you. Not my words etc but I’m sure it is true. Our ticket office have been one of the standout areas of supporter service in recent years.

Option selected

There is also a third option, our new ‘chatbot’. Cripes, I hate these things normally. The shame faced attempt to lure you into the belief you are talking-to a human being when, infact, it’s nothing more than series of computer generated responses designed to match up to common questions. Hurrah for algorithms. Said nobody ever.

Brentford official have now gone down this route too but there’s no pretence. Quite the opposite. We’re advertising it. And how. There’s a quite magnificent thread on Twitter, asking supporters to come up with a name for our own in-house ‘bot’. Why we need to name it I’ve no idea, beyond awareness, but it has spawned a quite magnificent thread of bot-based bad Bees punnery. Whilst blowing my own trumpet, I defy even Jim Levack at his Middlesex Chronicle big book of 80s alliteration best to beat that one.

But , as ever, its all about substance rather than headline. And what substance. For me, Clive, the stand out contenders are.

Mark Chatman 

Murray Drones

Botinho

Droid Owusu

Johnny 5 – Birmingham 0

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Chatman get it. Great wordplay and as popular a name in recent times as Ollie Botkins or anyone else associated with the club.  Botinho is magnificent, too, although there’s a danger it would only run for 13 minutes then disappear without a trace. Murray Drones is probably more one for the grown ups (and remember kids, don’t have nightmares) whilst Droid Owusu deserves it on merit alone. Quite brilliant. 

As Tom Arron noted on Twitter: Someone said Droid Owusu? They win.

The full thread is here. Help yourself and why not play along too? Is it too late for me to add Harry Botter?

Got a question regarding the Season Ticket Holder options? Ask our new chatbot here

👉 https://t.co/lqS4CTQnrF

We need your help naming our bot, we’ll start you off with 'Robot Taylor' 🤖

Comment below 👇#BrentfordFC pic.twitter.com/0H6B5tINRc

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) September 29, 2020

Next up, Harry Potter. Or, rather, Potter fans. We’re all, I am sure, with the trainspotter denied orgasm video. One of the all time classic YouTube clips, there is no explanation required. All I’ll say is to wait for the exasperated cry of “bollocks” before anything even comes into view. You can hear the anticipation falling off a cliff.

Another video has started doing the rounds now of something similar happening up in Scotland. The chance to see the ‘Hogwarts Express’ was denied fans of the popular children’s character when another commuter service got in the way. If only they could make the 18.26 to Edinburgh disappear….

The unedited version pic.twitter.com/Bfm636VfJK

— Andy Miller (@andy_m1ller) September 29, 2020

To this series of shorts, we’ve also been sent this one. From the States. The moment the historic (apparently) Georgia Dome was demolished. With onlookers all set to capture the moment for posterity, a bus pulls up to…. well, just take a look.

They’re nothing to do with football, of course, but sometimes you just need to realise that however bad life feels, there’s always somebody else having their day ruined. With Griffin Park now in line for a similar fate at some point, will the first swing of the wrecking ball be recorded forever or caught behind an Amazon delivery truck?

To be honest, I’d rather not think about it. Perhaps let’s just rewatch Potter once more.

Nick Bruzon

The Bluetones, Hard-Fi and Theaudience form Staines supergroup in honour of King Jota.

With Brentford travelling to Barnsley today you might expect the normal prematch nonsense. Hot off the heels of Friday’s hammering of Derby County, where a brace apiece from Lasse Vibe and the talismanic Jota saw pun writers having a field day, it would be the perfect time to ‘go again’ with the big game build up. Yet headlines including Demolition Derby. Rams to the Slaughter. Silence of the Rams. Rams Raided and my own personal winner –  Bees guilty of battering Rams etc etc etc tell you all you need to know about that one. Poor Barnsley. If Brentford put in even half that performance then the Tykes would probably be better focussing on the half time mascot race between Toby and Buzz.

So we’ll leave the football for now. At least, the on pitch stuff. One of the things I love about Brentford is that everybody knows everybody. One minute you could be outside the pub with your regular match day friends, then next you find yourself talking to jumper man, having Harry Potter bawling in your ear or Billy Grant waving a microphone in your face. You see Natalie Sawyer walking past. Chairman Cliff Crown stops for a chat. Look over there, Marcus Gayle is holding court. And isn’t that Richard Archer out of Hard-Fi talking to him? Alongside Adam Devlin from one of my all time favourite bands, The Bluetones. All we need is Cameron Diaz for a full house. Although, sadly, that’s a spot that will have to go on hold (at least, for now) due to well documented reasons.

Jumper Man – one of many familiar Brentford faces

But the point being this is all run of the mill stuff. Between 2pm and 7pm on a Saturday afternoon we’re all Brentford fans. Whoever you are and whatever happens outside the confines of Griffin Park is stuff for another day. For now, a love of the Bees unites us all as the great and good rub shoulders and enjoy the vibe.

But today we should think about what happens outside of Griffin Park because word reaches me, perhaps appropriately on Easter weekend, of a Holy Trinity coming together. A musical Holy Trinity or, if you will, a so called supergroup.

A power trio comprising Devlin (Adam, not chief executive Mark), Richard Archer and the one time musical cohort of Sophie Ellis-Bexter, Billy Reeves. The very same Billy Reeves these days more commonly known for his wonderful work with BBC Radio London.

Yes, Billy is at it again. The man who brought us the uber catchy ‘Hey! Championship!’ to celebrate our promotion from League 1 and follow up single ‘Goodbye Mark Warburton’ has now linked up with the aforementioned musical wing men to form Grown Men in Tears –   Staines’ answer to Emerson, Lake and Palmer. The product of this output is ‘Welcome Home, King Jota’  – quite possibly Billy’s finest end of season song to date.

Grown Men in Tears. (l-r) Archer, Devlin, Reeves.     c/o The Jolly Baker, Ashford

Kudos to Adam and Richard. With added glockenspiel and flamenco guitar outro it really is Billy’s crown jewel. How catchy. Oh that chorus. Oh, the namechecking in the lyrics.  “He opens up his legs, puts in a corner, for Harlee Dean’s big head” being amongst the finest and, yet, slipping into the verse as deliciously as the King himself playing the ball over.

Oh that chorus. The harmony. I Love it. Absolutely love it. What starts off with a slightly melancholic air quickly turns into an ear worm that burrows in deep and won’t let go. A perfect 3 minutes 58 seconds of music that is as silky smooth as the man himself. Even better, its all for charity with all proceeds going to Prostate Cancer UK Charity. Move fast, though – the single will only be available for one week (as a download, 79p) via Billy’s twitter page https://www.twitter.com/TheBillyReeves  and is released April 21st.

Come for the Hard-FI / Bluetones connection, stay for musical genius.

Jota – if you are reading (you aren’t) the Brentford family love you. If this doesn’t tell you, nothing will.

You can watch the video and hear the song below. Then rush out and buy it on the 21st for just 79p. Its all for charity, mate. And isn’t it brilliant?

Big love and thanks to Mark Fuller for the video montage. What a lotta Jota 

If you are concerned about prostate cancer or prostate problems then the Prostate Cancer UK charity can help. They provide a range of information and support so you can choose the services that work for you. All their services are open to men, their family and their friends. Via their ‘Men United’ campaign they are working with the Football League to raise awareness and money.

Nick Bruzon

A good news, bad news, interesting news kind of day as Bees prepare for Fulham.

Well, yesterday was all over the place. With Brentford looking to follow last Friday’s West London derby win over QPR with a repeat against Fulham there was bad news, good news and interesting news coming out of Griffin Park. That final point, one which will have as much intrigue for Cottagers as Bees with the three most exciting words in the English language : Terrace Talk Extra.

First up; the bad news. We all feared the worst when Lewis Macleod collapsed in a heap at Loftus Road last week. An elongated period of treatment that saw the player eventually stretchered away took the shine off an otherwise wonderful evening.

Despite our most optimistic hopes, the realist amongst the Brentford faithful braced themselves for bad news. Sure enough, it has now been delivered. Not only will Lewis miss the game against Fulham but, indeed, the next nine months as he undergoes what has been described as ‘reconstructive knee surgery’.

It’s terrible news for Lewis. The Brentford family all know his well documented struggle with injury yet, this season, it looked like he’d finally got past all of that. A series of strong performances had seen him as one of the star players in Dean Sith’s team yet now the future must seem a bleak one.

That said, he couldn’t hope for a finer support network around him. Brentford have always shown tremendous long term faith in their injured players whilst several of his own team mates have been there, too.

Andreas Bjelland missed almost the entire of last season following a severe knee injury picked up less than 45 minutes into his debut  – ‘that’ cup match against Oxford United. Likewise, in Scott Hogan we have a man a man who has more than been there before coming back bigger and better after an agonising 18 month wait to return from reconstructive surgery after his own, well documented, knee ligament injury.

Indeed, the infrequent ’tweeter’ broke his usual vow of cyber silence yesterday to post this message :

He'll be back stronger and better (if possible) than ever , chin up mate @LewisMacleod_ back in no time!

— Scott Hogan (@ScottHogan92) November 2, 2016

Any further words at this juncture would seem somewhat trite. The Brentford family will all be behind Lewis, wishing him the very best. Here’s hoping he’s back on the anti-gravity treadmill before we know it.

The other tweet to catch my eye yesterday was from Lasse Vibe – the aforementioned interesting news.

It was nothing more complex than the ‘scissors’ emoji followed by a link to instantgram, “whatever that is”, to quote one of Peter Gilham’s finest on pitch announcements from last season. Well, it seems that in this instance Lasse has had a makeover.

Lasse Vibe: Hair today. Gone tomorrow

Gone are the flowing locks to be replaced by super smart new look and accompanying glasses. The reaction around cyberspace seems largely a popular one. Top comments to his post included: “footballer to wizard in one cut!”  , “Looks like you should be in University Challenge!” and the somewhat worrying thought “Please don’t become like Torres after his haircut “.

That said, the new image did have me wondering whom Lasse now resembles. The Boy wizard? Bees fan Simon? El Niño himself? Or somebody else?

Personally, I prefer the ‘or somebody else’ option, simply because it allows us to crank out a montage. Clockwise from top right, could it be: Brett Stark from mid-90s Neighbours (kids, ask  your mums), Magne from A-ha (again, kids ask….) , Brad Pitt or our own video editor par excellence , Sean Ridley?

Who’s got that Vibe?

And talking of Sean Ridley (as seamless a name drop as noted pie fantasist Ian Moose offering birthday wishes to “my good friend….”), Wednesday’s good news saw a bonus: Terrace Talk Extra.

Coming in at close to thirteen minutes of head to head brilliance, it sees  a Fulham fan venturing deep into the heart of enemy territory. Well, The Griffin. There, he has gone one-on-one with one of our own for a light hearted, but very informative, preview of Friday night’s game.

Which Brentford player would Fulham most like to sign? Who is elderly ‘keeper with a generic name, Ted Smith ? How many loving shots of delicious and refreshing Frontier lager could Sean cram in?

You can find the answers to all of these in Terrace Talk Extra: below.

Who comes out on top? Brentford or Fulham?

And finally, an apology for an oversight. Tuesday saw the Last Word rundown of the best ever Brentford moustaches. Yet, it would seem, there has been a major oversight. No Barry Tucker.

Well I’m more than happy to put that right. Better late than never, here’s Barry’s ‘tache…

Nick Bruzon