Crazy capers, Christmas jumpers and Paul McCartney (kind of)

With Brentford set to play Fulham on Saturday, I was reminded of a simple yet wonderful truth. “Caper is a stunning word”. Not my quote (although certainly sentiments I agree with) but those of one New Road wag with whom I was discussing the forthcoming game. A discussion which led, at a tangent, to popular music’s Wu-Tang Clan and from there to an abhorrent video coming out of QPR, which we’ll get to shortly.

Fans of the group (Wu-Tang Clan, not QPR) will, I am sure, be aware of their ‘Once Upon A Time In Shaolin’ album. A 31 track effort of which there has only been one copy ever produced and that sold at auction for USD2million to drugs baron (in a medical sense) Martin Shkreli.

However, the story took a bizarre turn on Thursday when an alleged clause in the sale contract, detailing how the group could regain possession of their record, was made public. Specifically via the medium of legally planning and attempting “to execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon A Time In Shaolin.”

Is this for real? Who cares .

I don’t know what the best part of this is. Bill Murray? The stunning use of brackets? Or just the phrase “ execute one (1) heist / caper” ? Truly, a pair of words more commonly associated with slapstick comedies or trashy crime thrillers.

The byproduct of reading this was my thinking more about how I could crowbar either one into today’s article. And with Brentford and Fulham about to meet at The Cottage once more, a cheap bit of photoshoppery and sledgehammer like unsubtlety, in combination with the aforementioned comedy, seemed the obvious solution.

For once, PG isn’t Peter Gilham …

Coming soon to a stadium near you?

As for QPR, words fail me…

Whilst Alan Partridge may have famously noted, “ Wings – the band that The Beatles could have been”, nobody deserves to be treated this badly.

I’d recommend you don’t press play. Not even in an ironic sense. Words can’t describe just how toecurlingly bad this is . Where’s Keith Stroud and his red card when you need him?

You have been warned. Watch this at your own risk

That wasn’t the only video to see the light of day on Thursday. Griffin Park, so often the location for film crews needing a local football ground, has starred again.

This time in a promotional film for Sky Sports and their coverage of Football League fixtures over the Christmas period. Given their spannering of my trip to Brighton, I shouldn’t really be over indulging in their promotion but there are a number of aspects that caught my interest.

Primarily, as one observer on the Ealing Road has pointed out, Kurt and the marketing chaps really have taken Peter Gilham’s much touted new public address system to ridiculous levels.

“This is Brentford Control…”

Then, of course, there is an appearance from another familiar face in Brentford circles. And I don’t mean Jeff Stelling who, to the best of my knowledge, has never had any involvement with the Bees or our fans – certainly beyond a squeal of excitement as we locked horns with his beloved Hartlepool back in October 2012.

That, a game which saw a brace from Paul Hayes – his first goals for the Bees – before Tony Craig rescued a point for the Monkeyhangers with a 90^th minute own goal. Grown men wept. Others just reached for the vodka bottle as Brentford conspired to snatch a 2-2 draw from the jaws of certain victory – Harlee Dean having previously helped the visitors along by scoring their first (own) goal.

Still, I digress. There aren’t any prizes on offer for figuring out that, of course, Brentford super fan Natalie Sawyer is also donning her best Christmas jumper for this one.

Who doesn’t like a Christmas jumper?

And if you’d like to see more of Jeff, Natalie and Griffin Park all doing their thing then the full video is below. Although Sky, don’t think I’m any happier about Brighton.

That said, it still beats QPR’s attempt to sleigh Paul McCartney.

Nick Bruzon

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Cherries await as Cliff crowns a tough week. And some dogs

With Brentford fans adjusting to the news about Mark Warburton ahead of Saturday’s game against Bournemouth, the saga has been somewhat distracting for anybody interested in matters outside TW8. On the plus side, the interminable fixation with Eastenders has, largely, drifted past despite my twitter timeline being flooded with oblique reference to Ian Beale. The downside has been missing out on canine fun at Bristol Rovers, Liverpool (almost) doing a Trotta and a transfer story involving the one time scourge of Bournemouth, Mike Grella.

Rounding off the news about Warbs, on Thursday Chairman Cliff Crown spoke to the press from the Brentford Media Centre. I have to be honest, this was something I didn’t even realised existed and seemed less SSNHQ, more a desk covered in discarded telephones placed in front of an advertising backdrop.

Cliff Crown speaks from the heart of the media centre

However, the key points from Cliff’s performance were an admission that the club had spoken to Rayo Vallecano coach Paco Jemez although, “it’s been no more than a conversation about philosophies”

Likewise, in regards to the news coming out in the first place, “Unfortunately someone leaked and that accelerated the whole process. It wasn’t something we were keen to do but we had little choice once it’d got out. We don’t know who it was, but whoever it was has done damage to everybody associated with the club”

A frank admission from Cliff and if you want to see the whole interview, it is on the club’s YouTube channel, below.

 

Moving away from the situation surrounding the management, you might not have noticed the news coming from across the Atlantic this week. The New York Red Bulls may have lost the services of Thierry Henry but they have replaced him with former Brentford hit man, Mike Grella.

The date 8^th November 2011. The place Griffin Park. Brentford lined up against Bournemouth for a JPT semi and ended up just one shy of brackets. Grella smashed four goals as the hapless Cherries were routed 6-0 and the Bees spent the final 11 minutes, including stoppages, chasing a 7^th(seventh).

With many Bournemouth fans living in London, and even closer to TW8, it is a result that still gets mentioned on a regular basis. They may have spent much of this season TOTL but I’ll never forget the night that the gorilla went ape.

Put down this article and go immediately to twitter (then come back). Type in the hashtag – #dogsinbristolroversshirts. I don’t know what has sparked the craze but you get exactly what you ask for. Dogs. Wearing Bristol Rovers shirts.

Dogs. In Bristol Rovers shirts. Quite literally

I didn’t even realise that many Bristol Rovers shirts existed although this sort of dog related couture isn’t a new thing, with precedent having been set by Brentford.

Woofy McWoofington has long been known for his love of the ‘St.George’ home shirt, whilst even turned up in a Bees scarf for the Hartlepool game (the one before ‘that penalty’).

That said, whilst Woofy may have worn a shirt first, Rovers have picked up the stick and run with it. The internet is flooded with them. And a great thing it is too.

Woofy McWoofington – trendsetter

Finally, talking of ‘that penalty’ , don’t people watch sports news? Perhaps the incident against Doncaster Rovers didn’t get enough airplay (that’ll be it). However, watching the Liverpool – Besiktas game last night I couldn’t help feel a sense of déjà vu, watching Mario Balotelli and Jordan Henderson arguing in front of the home fans over who was going to take a late spot kick with the scores locked at 0-0.

The enigmatic Italian eventually got the honours, the goal and a rebuke from Steven Gerrard sitting in the ITV press box.

Good luck to them. We’ve grown from our own incident in a fashion that I could never have believed possible from the distraught feeling that afternoon. Whilst it is far too early to be talking about playing the likes of Liverpool, it is incredible to think that three more points tomorrow could take us one step closer to that craziness.

Let’s put the week behind us, get behind the manager and go for it.

Still paying the penalty – is it time to move on?

As Brentford prepare for Tuesday’s game against Bristol City, I’ve still got two things niggling me from the weekend.

This doesn’t include the criticism of Uwe, which wasn’t great but understandable. It’s his job to pick a team that will win us the game. Given our recent run prior to that match, he can’t have expected an easy ride but I’m glad he proved his detractors wrong and found a balance that made us look like world-beaters after the substitutions kicked in.

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.