Tag Archives: historical kits

The waiting game sucks; let’s play Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

28 May

Not my words but those of Homer Simpson and, with almost three months until the Championship season starts once more, it could be a long wait for Brentford fans. That’s over 70 (seventy) days until we resume rivalries with the likes of Middlesbrough, Fulham and Wolves. As intriguingly, we’ll also be welcoming QPR back to a division they managed to leave for an entire season. Sadly, though, they’ll be without Joey Barton – what a midfield match up with Jonathan Douglas that would have been.

So until then, what have got to look forward to (apart from breaking out the Hungry, Hungry Hippos)? It’s only three weeks until the fixtures are published (June 17th, being the appointed date for that one) and we can start planning those trips around the country.

From a TW8 perspective, there’s no word on those two most important of things needed to start the campaign. A kit to play in and a new manager (or ’head coach’, given our new model).

At least in the case of the latter, Marinus Dijkhuizen from Dutch Eredivisie side Excelsior remains the name on everybody’s lips. If you believe what you read in the papers then he is, supposedly, set to be announced any day soon. Whilst there is no smoke without fire, I’ve been surprised by Matthew Benham too many times in the past to believe anything I read until I see it confirmed in print.

Certainly Griffin Park had nothing much going on for the casual observer yesterday, beyond the hum of machinery as work on the pitch continued.

Manager Watch: 12.32pm 27th May… No sighting

Manager Watch: 12.32pm 27th May… No sighting

As for the kit, there’s no word even on a release date. All we know is that it will be a bespoke Adidas design. As somebody who takes more interest in the history/selection of the Bee’s kit than is probably healthy, this is an announcement that I’m looking forward to as much as any over the summer.

Moreso, as the other clubs in ‘the pyramid’ have started to release their efforts with some of these even seeing the light of day at the back end of the season just gone. The always excellent ‘Historical Football Kits’ website have now officially ‘opened’ their 2015/16 gallery and for those interested in such sartorial matters, you can find that here. Crawley Town, Bradford City and Watford being among some of the braver/more creative (delete as applicable) efforts already on offer.

Until then, we’ve got the FIFA corruption case to keep us intrigued over the summer. This, following the arrest by the FBI yesterday of 6 senior officials, is sure to be a protracted affair.

That said, it also promises to be an entertaining one as the case for long desired clarity starts to build. The U.S. Department of Justice have already begun in style, mangling their metaphors with the declaration that “This is the World Cup of fraud and today we are issuing FIFA a red card.” Let’s hope they end up issuing something a little bit stronger than a stern talking to

Sepp Blatter, meanwhile, eventually released a statement in the late afternoon in which he described the events as ‘unfortunate’ although didn’t go as far as referring to football as a village. However, there was no word in this as to whether the current elections will be postponed or the World Cups of 2018 and 2022 re-evaluated.

As the clamour is sure to grow on both fronts, this may not be as quiet a summer as we might have thought a week ago.

And, in the meantime, if you want some further distraction until it all starts again, you can relive the events of 2014/15 in the amalgamated Last Word season compendium: Tales from the football village (from Saunders territory to unchartered ground)

Running from July 2014- May 2015 it contains some additional material and is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full for less than the cost of a Griffin Park match day programme.

The alternative is Hungry, Hungry Hippos

The alternative is Hungry, Hungry Hippos


Coming soon – to Griffin Park. The chamber of horrors

7 Sep

They’re under starters orders……and they’re off!

We’re five games into the new season and so its time for a retrospective. Not one of performance – I’ll leave that to the likes of Chris Wickham or the fans, themselves, on the GPG. (That said, mine will come once we are ten games in – the point at which the table is, traditionally, said to have ‘taken shape’).

Instead, I’d like to look at the ten worst kits of season 2013-14. Some we’ll see over the course of the season (and already have) in the league and maybe in the cup. Others will simply grace our TV screens. Either way, I’ve scoured the respective club websites to find these ten examples of what happens when marketing overtakes commonsense and tradition.

And, for the record, Brentford don’t qualify for this poll (although I did think about, seeing as we’ve a sponsor that has us putting the KY into SE….. )

10. Derby County (home) 

ImageOn the surface, it’s stylish, simple and retro. County fans must have been pleasantly surprised about how good it was. Until you get to the lurid and over-sized sponsor. Subtle as a brick.






9. Leeds United (home) 

ImageSurely they couldn’t do worse than last campaign’s ‘tabard’ effect shirt. Actually, they could. Take one traditional all white shirt and run two vertical bars up the middle (only interrupted by a sponsor’s square & squiggle). Add small collars and a technical sponsor on each shoulder. Voila


8. Portsmouth (third)


Their traditional change colours of, erm, purple and electric pink? With the addition of a strange swoosh across the middle and a footballer-cum-model who really shouldn’t give up the day job.





7. Aston Villa (away)

ImageThis is football, not rugby union. Looks like someone has turned up the contrast at Bristol Rovers. Truly odd.






6. Wycombe Wanderers (away)

ImageBarcelona had a ‘Lucozade effect’ away kit last season – they’re one of the best teams in Europe and can get away with it. Wycombe, on the other hand, aren’t. And don’t.





5. The Loftus Road mob (third)

ImageEffectively renting their third kit to Caterham F1. Please, drape the colours of your giant scalextrics outfit all over our third kit






4. Swansea City (away)

ImageA truly eye burning effort. Purple and yellow with hard to read sponsor. No words needed






3. Bradford City (away) 

Image Socks and shorts merge half way up the shirt to make a bizarre ‘cloudy sky’ effect. All it’s missing is ‘The sun’ as a sponsor. (I’ll get my coat).







2. Liverpool (away)

Image A shirt that has truly divided the fans between, “Is it ‘awful’ or ‘really awful’ “?  This fractal rework on their 89-91 that has been met with derision on Merseyside.










1. Liverpool (third).

ImageHow can the same club do the same thing twice in the same season? How do you get worse than Liverpool’s away kit? Take a look at their third kit.

Neatly divided into purple, black and white segments. With a bit of gold and grey for good measure. Its brave, I’ll give them that.




If you want to see more of this season’s offerings then you could do a lot worse than visit http://www.historicalkits.co.uk . It has comprehensive run-downs on the current season aswell as vast, club-by-club, archives. And for good measure, their commentary is laced with a dead-pan sarcasm that I could only ever aspire to.