It’s all about London football. And stickers.

“Ruddy Hell, it’s Soft Cell”. Not my words but those of pundit stroke DJ, Alan Partridge. Whilst we may not be in the ball park of Norfolk based local radio, the excitement levels are reaching similar heights. Championship football in London is stunning at present. Our own Brentford are on the verge of the play offs with three games left to reel in four points. Millwall are in that zone as things stand. Friday night sees them take on a Fulham team looking to bounce back from last weekend’s devastating denouement and retake an ‘automatic’ position. Then there’s QPR. Languishing in 15th. Oh well. As Meatloaf almost sang, “Three out of four ain’t bad”.

Cliche alert: This weekend’s action promises to be hotter than the current climate. A seasonal sizzler of a fixture list that sees Brentford at home in a second, successive West London derby. This time QPR are the visitors. Quarter Pound of Rubbish as even a friend who’s an Arsenal fan referred to them today.

Childish? Yes. Of course. But it put a smile on my face to know that a schoolyard term from my own childhood in the seventies is still doing the rounds, some forty years later.

We digress though. Last weekend at Fulham showed just how exciting football can get. What a moment from Neal Maupay to wrap up a deserved point. Indeed, I’m still not sure how we missed out on all three in that one. But for the referee. And if you’d like to read more… the matchday programme, BEES, has the considered thought on that fame. And also those blinkin’ clappers.

BEES – worth it just for the cover alone

Frankly, the visit of QPR couldn’t come at a better time. Not because of their poor placing and form. Not because of rent-a-quote manager Ian Holloway. Not because of their absent players. And not because of our play-off dreams. Quite the opposite. The last thing we need is that playing on our minds. Just look at Derby County who are now entering their traditional ‘choke’ period.

Instead, it is the perfect opportunity to continue some wonderful runs of form. Both in the league and against our visitors from Loftus Road. Indeed, the mauling administered at Griffin Park last season was about as good as it got. A brutal demolition that, if you are looking for an appropriate analogy, would have been stopped within a few rounds had it been a boxing match. The hapless hoops sent back to their corner and Buzzette’s arm raised proudly into the sky by the referee.

We don’t need to think about the chance of ghosting into the top six when there is local pride to play for. And with no respect to Fulham, it’s all about Brentford and QPR when it comes to being kings of West London Championship football. Winning this one is the absolute priority for the weekend. Kings of West London. Kings of the 237 derby. Proving Holloway wrong. Again. Anything table related will be a consequential bonus. Other results going our way something that I’ll happily take, once our own dust has settled. Hey, I don’t even know who Birminghan City are losing to this weekend – that’s how fixed I am on this one.

We all know what it means. What the history is. What chance you have of getting a ticket (slim to none, although do try – just in case). There’s not much I can add, suffice to say that there won’t be much sleep in our house tonight. And not because of the heat. Simply put, I can’t wait for this one.

Results at home to QPR have been wonderful in recent seasons

That said, I would crave your indulgence for two bits of extra-curricular activity. Firstly, if anybody has any Panini World Cup swaps then I will be outside The Hive at half time with a very excited four year old son. Definitely he will definitely be looking to help fill in what is definitely his World Cup sticker book. If anyone can help out or is looking for Antoine Greizmann (amongst others), then that’ll be the time and place.

Secondly, Beesotted. Their quite wonderful ‘Pride of West London’ podcast is up for Listener’s choice at the British Podcast Awards. I’ve no doubt Dave, Billy and the rest of the team would appreciate your vote. Certainly, anyone who has listened to this before will know they absolutely deserve it. You can find the link here.

For now though, it’s all about 3pm on Saturday. See you there (with stickers).

Nick Bruzon

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Vibe has Bees buzzing at Norwich as QPR plumb new depths.

Well this has been a somewhat bizarre evening. Onfield, it was spent listening to Brentford dismantle Norwich City. If ever there was a polar opposite to last season’s 5-0 humbling at Carrow Road it was this as a brace from Lasse Vibe gave the Bees a first half lead that never sounded in doubt. Not even late on when Nelson Oliveira pulled one back with four minutes of injury time to go. Off field, Queens Park Rangers were doing their very best in the ‘how to make friends and influence people’ stakes after a quite blatant dig at the Bees on the programme cover for Saturday’s impending defeat by Bristol City.

Who’d be a programme editor or work in a club comms role? Thankfully, poor form in that field not something Brentford have to worry about at the moment. Sadly, the same can’t be said at the other end of the 237 bus route following the release of QPR’s matchday magazine ahead of the weekend visit from Bristol City. Clearly visible alongside a gaudy picture of Ian Holloway is an extract from a historic newspaper. Specifically one recognising the Loftus Road mob’s attempt to put us out of business in their ultimately doomed takeover attempt.

Ian Holloway and old news on the programme cover

Why would QPR do this, if not a thinly veiled attempt to stick two fingers up at their local rivals? I have to be honest, the gut reaction was to laugh. Genuinely. From a fanbase that claim to have no interest in us, this certainly suggests otherwise. Was it small penis syndrome? Jealousy of recent form? Inferiority? Insecurity? Ineptitude? Whatever the explanation, it immediately parachuted us into moral high ground. It immediately made the hoops look pathetic.

Memories of this period in our history are still very raw. Just look at the stories that were told at the recent 50 year commemoration of these events. Of how supporters came together in the face of adversity. Of how we stood our ground. Raised funds. Came together and saved our club.

So for our failed aggressors to highlight this, just weeks after once more failing to beat us in their own back yard, was at best odd and worst a cheap publicity stunt. There was just no need. Has the recent run of poor results against Brentford got to them that much?

50 years on, who now has the upper hand?

But then Ian Taylor, their head of Media & Communications, took to Twitter with an explanation and an apology. Albeit one that was about as sincere an act of contrition as South West Rail attempting to placate passengers via one of those tedious, automated announcements. Apparently, and I quote, ”We certainly didn’t set out to incite with tomorrow’s ‪#QPR programme cover – I’m sure the likes of ‪@markdevlin7 & ‪@chriswickham1 would vouch that this is not our style. Thanks and apologies for any offence caused”

He goes on to add how, “We are picking out the key moments from out time at LR. This isn’t about inciting anyone – just charting our history at LR in chronological order. We apologise if this has caused offence, but this really wasn’t our intention. Earlier in the season, for our EFL Cup game, we paid tribute to Peter Gilham and Ryan Woods in the programme, wishing them our very best.”

Bulsh*t. Was that seriously the BEST justification they could come up with? If recognising a centenary in their stadium was the intention, they could have picked anything . A promotion or cup final. Perhaps even a game in the Premier League. Incredibly, they’ve done all these things – although helped massively by breaching FFP rules (hmm – when WILL that fine be paid?). Instead, they went for the most inflammatory ‘key moment’ in the last 100 years to grace the front cover.

We’re expected to believe this was nothing more than coincidence? The words Jimmy and Hill spring to mind. What next Ian, did the dog eat your homework? The lightweight explanation being given apparent justification by the fact that they were nice about us when two of our most important people were in as low a personal place as one could ever imagine being.

Jimmy. Hill.

No doubt this is all a publicity stunt to get people talking about their publication. From that respect, well done. But if those are the lengths you need to stoop to in order to get attention then it’s a desperately sad way of doing so.

Instead, let’s focus on a wonderful 2-1 win for the Bees. Norwich City away was never going to be an easy game. Moreso on a Friday night with Christmas at the forefront of many supporters’ attention. Now, we move up to 11^th and clear of both our West London rivals. Highlight of the night being the pass form Romaine Sawyers to set up Lasse Vibe for the second. It was ridiculous; sublime; filthy; outrageous. Take your pick. Words can’t do it justice. Even on smudgy twitter vision it looked magnificent.

Roll on Saturday morning and the full fat Burridge version of the highlights. I can’t wait.

Nick Bruzon

The top talking points from the World Cup draw (and the small matter of Brentford v Fulham).

Brentford v Fulham. Derby day pt.2. It must be rare for a local game to have been less under the spotlight during the build up as this one. First up, we’ve had the residual bad taste of Monday night’s 2-2 with QPR. Not so much the result as Ian Holloway doing that desperate back pedal after slagging off his own supporters for ‘sneaking out’. And then there was the small matter of yesterday’s World Cup draw for Russia 2018.

We’ll start with Fulham. A win will take Brentford above the Cottagers in the league table and, subject to other results, into the top half of the Championship. I can only call this one as three points for the Bees. Lasse Vibe had two wonderful finishes against the not so super hoops , with the assist from Romaine for the second being something quite special. Sergio Canos showed his class, starting a game for the first time in I don’t know how long. Expect more of the same. Just perhaps, not, the 93rd and 94th minutes.

And if you’d like to read more…. there’s talk about both games in the ‘Park Life’ column that appears in today’s match day programme. Whilst I’d crave your indulgence for that self-promotion it is mentioned more for a sledge hammer like unsubtle link to, erm, today’s match day programme. (#seamless).

With this edition highlighting the ‘Rainbow laces’ campaign (and on that subject, don’t forget to check out the Beesotted podcast this week – below), cover star is none other than Andreas Bjelland. Danish International Andreas Bjelland. The World Cup’s Andreas Bjelland.

This week’s cover star…

Yesterday’s draw saw England line up against Belgium, Panama and Tunisia. A kinder draw you couldn’t have asked for, on paper. Moreso when the two teams who get through will play one of Poland , Senegal, Colombia or Japan in the last 16. On paper, as kind a start as one could hope for. On paper…..

Yet for Andreas, things are slightly different. Whilst there doesn’t seem to be an out and out ‘group of death’, Denmark won’t have it easy agasint France, Austrlia and Peru in Group C. Mind you, I’m sure they’ll all be thinking the same about Denmark in group that Nick Harris ( @sportingintel on Twitter) has noted is the rankings tightest.

Also clear is what Harris declares to be “A clear Group of Life – the Group A of hosts Russia”. I would also accept: ‘The Group of dull’

Along with the hosts it is a pool that features Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Uruguay. Luck of the draw is, indeed, a wonderful and fortuitous thing.

Yet it is a group that also gives us our first chance of that World Cup staple: “For those of you just coming in from work, the score is….. “ Expect that at about 5.17pm on Thursday 14th June during the opening a game. A 4pm kick off between Russia and Saudi Arabia.

That opener is, likewise, a game you can expect to see on ITV. Certainly, if the BBC ‘live updates’ are to be believed.

And talking of the BBC (Nurse, bring me the industrial crowbar) Phil Neville may have been England’s dullest pundit at France 2014 but there was no doubt he was on form during the draw. Robbie Savage sticking his head above the parapet and getting immediately slapped down.

Savage and Neville weren’t the only pundits getting involved. Anybody worth their salt had an opinion. And also Ian Moose. Sadly, there was to be no picture of him and ‘My good friend, Vladimir Putin.’ (Something Diego Maradona did achieve, for the record). Instead, the best Talk Sport’s ‘finest’ could do in that ongoing quest to blow his own trumpet was a snap with Carlos Valderrama.

Other things to look out for will be FIFA no doubt calling the first knockout stage ‘The round of 16’. Like the Fake Olympic terms : Team GB and ‘to medal’ (see also: Wednesday’s column – I’m still thankful for the chance to vent) something that is both wrong and which has been allowed to seep into popular parlance over the last few events. It’s actually the Last 16. I would also accept: The second round.

Have selfie stick, will travel. Brentford fan Billy Grant will be one of many Bees in attendance. He’s already confirmed he will be in attendance. His roving reports providing an wonderful flavour of what happened last time out in France – the great and the not so. Stan Collymore, he ain’t. Expect more of the same this time around (all being well, the great) .

Flights booked. Russia. Here we come 😱

— Billy TheBee Grant (@billythebee99) December 1, 2017

Still, all that’s to come. There’s over six months until we start sticking wall charts to fridges, whip ourselves into a lather of excitement before an eventual quarter final capitulation for England.

Until then, here’s to forgetting about QPR on Monday. There’s a West London derby to win. Fulham are on the way over to Griffin Park. And I can’t wait.

See you there.

And if you need some more listening before kick off, here’s the link to that Beesotted podcast….

Back-to-back west London derbies for #brentfordfc as #Fulham Preview & pub guide includes exclusive chat with @emmajonessport of @BBCLondonSport https://t.co/KQ7SHbW81L #ffc @FulhamishPod @WhiteNoise1879 @HammyEnd @TaylorMod @FriendsOfFulham pic.twitter.com/rDR09dmIv1

— Beesotted Brentford (@Beesotted) December 1, 2017

Nick Bruzon

Move along, we go again etc etc. There’s a lot more to frustrate you than Monday.

Queens Park Rangers 2 Brentford 2. Take a look in the record books and that’s what you’ll see following Monday night’s trip to Loftus Road. So QPR salvaged a point as their manager used his post match interview to savage their fans. And? Move along, there are bigger fish to fry – like Fulham on Saturday.

I didn’t write anything on these pages yesterday. Whilst I’d normally do so immediately after a game, this was different. We all know what happened on Monday night. Although some thoughts were penned (for the Fulham matchday programme), sitting down at the computer with my espresso to start this blog I couldn’t do it. Not that there was any particular reluctance, albeit the evening had ended in what could politely be described as a ‘frustrating conclusion’ , but as I looked at the coffee to try and clear that post-match fug  the mind began to wander. And wander. In no particular order

‘Expresso’. FFS, it’s Espresso. Es. Not Ex. What part of anybody with eyes in their head and the ability to read thinks ‘s’ is pronounced ‘x’?

Mrs Brown’s Boys. It’s a man. In a wig.

Mrs Brown. Man? Tick.  Cardigan? Tick.   Wig? Tick.   Jokes?   Move along, nothing to see here

Katie Hopkins. Saying. Anything. Just shut up. Please.

The demise of the Brentford ‘Terrace Talk’ video feature.

Getting Ant and Dec wrong – how is that possible? Ant always stands on the left (contractual obligation to stop old people getting confused).

Ian Moose and his ego. The man has more good friends than Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis.

Len Goodman’s ‘Partners In Rhyme’. The bastard offspring of Mrs Brown’s Boys (humour level) and Catchphrase as Len has somehow been convinced that he’s the new Bruce Forsyth. He isn’t.

Alan Green.

Team GB. Why? Where? How was this allowed to become a thing? We’re Great Britain . It’s not Mannschaft D or Equipe F.

On an Olympic vibe, the faux verb, ‘to medal’. I blame Sue Barker for that one.

Memes.

Surveys about the ‘Best James Bond ever’ that have Roger Moore ranked anywhere except number 1.

Roger Moore at his best

Sir/Lord Alan Sugar saying ‘You’re fired’, Granted, it’s a catchphrase, but surely by definition his wannabe employees/ business partners need to be hired before being able to be fired?

Corporate Account hashtags on Twitter. Who could forget the joy of #BigNewAmbitions, #Novemberkings or #Trophyfriends?

The Stone Roses – how? Three good songs (at best).

Mrs Brown’s Boys. If ever The Emperor’s New Clothes was reimagined for the 21st Century then here it is.

Getting videprinter brackets wrong. They start at 7(seven), not sooner . Or, at least, they should.

Nick Knowles – that is, the version that has reinvented himself as a singer (although if you ever need a boost then the reviews section on Amazon for his new album is more entertaining than the product itself).

Eric Clapton – unplugged. Worst. Album. Ever. The plinky plonk versions. The toe curling between song ‘banter’. Six months in the back of an overland truck going across Africa with that locked on repeat in the tape deck is too much.

West Ham. See : Winning the World Cup in 1966. Trevor Brooking scoring a header. Media love in with their season long farewell to Upton Park. If only somebody had mentioned.

The England Supporters Band. Show me one person to claim this self-appointed bunch of trumpet wielding clowns enhance a game of football and I’ll show you a liar.

Nobody asked for this

iPod headphones. For supposed technological giants, the singular inability of Apple to create a product that plays music inwards rather than outwards is one that astounds.

Footballers reassuring us that ‘We go again ‘ after a particularly bad performance.

Clackers and foam fingers to ‘enhance’ the atmosphere. See also: drums. Not quite in the same league as ‘that band’ but not far behind.

South West Rail automated apologies for the inconvenience. Specifically that bit where the system pauses that fraction of a second to crowbar in the sincerity level of their apology during a particularly bad delay.

John Bishop (adoration levels). Apparently he’s from Liverpool and likes football.

Peppa Pig. A terrible example for any young children who may be watching. And yes, I realise they’re her target audience but the amount of mud splattered shoes/trousers I’ve had to rescue over the years has seen a simmering, and one way, animosity build towards the porcine puddle jumper.

I could go on. The point being (aside from the fact I watch too much TV) that no matter how frustrating the circumstances of getting a draw away from home, there could be a lot more niggly things out there to annoy you. If nothing else, that’s still only 1 win for QPR out of our last 6 games since Brentford ascended to the Championship.

Instead, my focus is now on Saturday. On Fulham. On another win.

Oh, and did I mention Mrs Brown’s Boys?

Nick Bruzon

West London is ours. Who’s up next, whenever that is?

“Somebody’s going to get a spanking soon enough“. Words used on these pages after the last few games as Brentford have seen dominance, possession and chances undone by bad luck and the odd moment of defensive ‘frailty’. Well, thankfully for The Bees it was QPR who were the right team in the wrong place. A 4-1 Carabao cup victory saw our biggest ever win at Loftus Road, a record that goes back to the first ever league meeting back in 1920. That’s just shy of a century. Our biggest away win against QPR in pretty much 100 years. Suck that one up, stat fans.

And if you’d like to read more whilst helping the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust …. the rest of this article can now be found in the Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Certainly, if there’s no Marcos Tea Bar at Lionel Road it will be an opportunity missed.

All proceeds from any sales will go to the Community Sports Trust. For less than the cost of a half / pint respectively, they may help while away some time on the commute. By the pool on holiday. In the bathroom. Who knows? It will certainly do some good for the Trust, whose work has been well documented at Griffin Park but you can read all about it on their site.

And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been given something very special. A 2017/18 third team shirt with Lewis Macleod’s squad number on the reverse in the EFL typeface. Anyone with half an interest in Bees kits will know that these were never made available in the club shop.  Anyone who has read any of this before will know what a kit nerd yours truly is so when I say this is rare, take that in good faith!

To be in with a chance of owning it, download a copy of either before the end of June 2018 and you’ll go into a draw to win this. Just DM/tweet me (@NickBruzon) a copy of your purchase confirmation mail and I’ll add your name to the list before selecting a random Bees fan to win this on July 1st.

 

And you could see exactly what that one meant to him etc etc etc

 

Emma Briden nails it on Twitter

 

No Carabao for this Bees fan. It’s the Red Bull cup today

Nick Bruzon

Mamma Mia, here we go again. Brentford score big but who are this season’s dark horses?

With the Championship season almost upon us, it would be fair to say that anticipation is rising. Nowhere moreso than at Griffin Park where last night young Brentford fans were given the chance to meet their heroes at the now traditional summer ‘open day’. Sky Sports have launched their own season preview (remember the one Ian Holloway did last time out?) where along with the standard installation of Middlesbrough and Aston Villas as favourites, there’s no surprise for Bees fans. And the EFL have announced a shake up to penalty shoot outs that will have local journalists and bad bloggers in pun heaven.

First up, last night at Griffin Park. What can you say? It never ceases to amaze me just how incredible our players are. I’ve said this before but it needs to be said again. What for them could have been a tedious contractual obligation became a wonderful hour and a half (if not longer) for all those young fans lining up to get a peak behind the scenes and a photo with the stars. Not to mention an autograph or two.

 

And if you’d like to read more whilst helping the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust …. the rest of this article can now be found in the Kindle e-book Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Certainly, if there’s no Marcos Tea Bar at Lionel Road it will be an opportunity missed.

All proceeds from any sales will go to the Community Sports Trust. For less than the cost of a half / pint respectively, they may help while away some time on the commute. By the pool on holiday. In the bathroom. Who knows? It will certainly do some good for the Trust, whose work has been well documented at Griffin Park but you can read all about it on their site.

And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been given something very special. A 2017/18 third team shirt with Lewis Macleod’s squad number on the reverse in the EFL typeface. Anyone with half an interest in Bees kits will know that these were never made available in the club shop.  Anyone who has read any of this before will know what a kit nerd yours truly is so when I say this is rare, take that in good faith!

To be in with a chance of owning it, download a copy of either before the end of June 2018 and you’ll go into a draw to win this. Just DM/tweet me (@NickBruzon) a copy of your purchase confirmation mail and I’ll add your name to the list before selecting a random Bees fan to win this on July 1st.

Nick Bruzon

I’m glad I support Brentford rather than one big fish in a rapidly stagnating pond. And Dean speaks

Football is slowly waking up. This time last year, we were talking about Lincoln Red Imps of Gibraltar beating Celtic 1-0 in the Champions League qualifiers. Quite possibly the most embarrassing results in Scottish football history (to add to an already long list) yet last night they were equalled by fellow Glasgow side Rangers when the fourth best team in Luxembourg, part timers Progrès Niederkorn, knocked them out of Europe. And closer to home, Brentford boss Dean Smith has been up in front of the Sky sports cameras.

Ordinarily these pages wouldn’t look at the Scottish game but Rangers have held a bit of a fascination in recent years, given the circumstances which saw former Brentford boss Mark Warburton both join and leave the Ibrox club. “You walk around the stadium, the first time for me this morning, and you smell the history” he said upon becoming their manager in June 2015.

I’m sure this morning they’ll be smelling something rather different North of the border and Warbs will be very pleased with his decision to resign prior to joining Nottingham Forest. Internet bookmaker PaddyPower have already declared Celtic as league Champions prior to a ball being kicked although, to be fair, most bookies have them as 1/9 on at best to lift that particular silverware.

Other bookmakers are also available

For all the ongoing talk about these two ‘giants’ of Scottish football joining the English Premier League, the totally one sided nature of their domestic league along with results such as those against Progrès or Lincoln show how out of touch they sadly are these days. A point made all the more apparent as after limping past the Gibraltarians last season, Celtic then endured complete capitulation in the group stages, failing to reach the Europa League whilst also suffering a 7(seven) goal bracketing.

Winning at home is nice, but to watch such consistently uncompetitive football must become a somewhat soul destroying affair. Where’s the genuine competition? Where’s the excitement? What’s the point when you win your league by a country mile or get kicked off the park the moment the competition hots up a bit. With your closest historical rival a shadow of their former selves, it really gives off the impression of going through the motions. Give me the Championship any day of the week.

Which is why the return to our own league campaign cannot come soon enough. Nobody could claim this division is one sided. Anything but, with Newcastle United’s title win going right down to the wire last season whilst Brentford have claimed more than their fair share of illustrious scalps over the last three campaigns. Three top ten finishes have surprised more than a few people outside of TW8 (most notably Ian Holloway) and I’m desperate for us to give this division another try.

The good news is that the Bees are now back in training and yesterday, ‘official’ released a video of head coach Dean Smith talking to Sky Sports News.

Dean Smith spoke to Sky

In the interview, which you can see below, Dean sounds über positive. He talks about having had lots of fresh ideas and sharing our own sentiments that its good to be back after a long break. He has confirmed his top six aspirations along with a desire to keep hold of last seasons squad. Moreso given our strong finish to the campaign.

Then, somewhat randomly, the interview changes tack with the second half being taken up with a discourse on penalties. The recent England – Germany U-21 game. Dean Smith’s philosophy on penalty taking. As a player and as a head coach. It went on. I was half expecting him to be quizzed on Marcello Trotta.

A shame really,, as this was a somewhat wasted opportunity from Sky to dig into our plans, our set up and mindset. To find out how Dean has continued the great work already done by Warbs, Lee Carsley and, of course, the team behind the team.

A missed opportunity?

Then again, I’m more than happy being the underdog. Being that unfancied, under the radar team. Catching the likes of Leeds United, Derby County, Aston Villa, Mr Holloway et al with their pants down.

Nobody can deny the likes of Rangers and Celtic have huge stadiums, even bigger fan bases and plenty of historical honours. Likewise that Griffin Park is still only a 12,000 capacity ground with a trophy cabinet that is emptier than Arsenal’s.

But who wants to be the one big fish in a rapidly stagnating pond of tadpoles? A fish that gets gobbled up the moment any invasive species appears from the continent. The Championship, and beyond, is where it’s all at. Where the real action happens. Where real football takes place.

It’s July 5th. This time next month proceedings begin in anger with out trip to Sheffield United. I really cannot wait. It promises to be even bigger and better than ever before.

Nick Bruzon

One out of three ain’t bad. Ian Holloway does it again as Huddersfield make it so (sorry).

That really is it. Football is over for the season. Congratulations to Huddersfield Town who made it up to the Premier League after beating Reading on penalties. For the Royals, a return to Griffin Park awaits as they endured a pain us Brentford fans know only too well – play off capitulation.

In truth, the first ten minutes aside, it was a dreadful game. Huddersfield came flying out of the blocks and looked like they were going for broke. Yet after missing two gilt edged chances from Izzy Brown and Michael Hefele it soon settled down into a game of cat and mouse. Cagier than a cage fight between Nicolas Cage and Xander Cage, it was two and half hours we’ll never get back.

But frankly, who cares? Whether you win on penalties or in a 4-3 goalfest, the net result is the same. Promotion for one side and tears for the other.

So football aside (and largely because there wasn’t any) what did we learn from yesterday’s game? Well, apparently Patrick Stewart was there. Yes, I know, you probably missed it too.

The Star Trek and X-men actor being to Huddersfield as Rhino from the Quo or Cameron Diaz (allegedly) are to Brentford. And once the cameras had picked him up, that was it. We saw as many shots of him as we did of Reading fans crying. Yes Sky, we get it – there’s Picard. Again. All we needed was a ‘make it so’ pun for a full house.

What a miss from Izzy Brown

We learned, once more, that penalties are a most wonderful thing for the neutral to watch. Yet for the players and fans the most painful of all ways to decide promotion. Unless you are on the winning side in which case seeing your fate revealed at the exact moment of that one, decisive kick must be the most incredible feeling ever. Again, something us Brentford fans can’t really relate to. Play-off success (8 doomed attempts so far) or promotion sealing penalty kicks being something that we don’t overly talk about.

But the real talking point to come out of it was that Ian Holloway is to making pre-season predictions as Donald Trump is to tact and diplomacy. We’ve already mentioned his efforts for Sky TV on these pages many times. Holloway, not Trump. Indeed, they form much of the thrust in the current 2016/17 Championship season review. That’s available now on e-book, with all proceeds going to the Community Sports Trust.

But a focus on Holloway is no surprise given his prediction of Brentford to finish 22nd, and the narrative:  “Brentford are regressing. Mark Warburton got them punching above their weight. They still haven’t replaced Andre Gray and Alan Judge will be missing for the start of the season. They could be in trouble”.

Well, that one was thrown royally back in his face. We did the double over QPR, including a 3-1 win over his side at Griffin Park, as the Bees finished 11 points and 8 places above the not so super hoops. Our own management had immediately poo-poo’d his prediction at the fan forum and how great to see the confidence rewarded.

But for Huddersfield Town, he predicted even worse. They came out at 23rd in his table and his own summary of their fate was: “I haven’t seen much progression from the club during the back end of last season. David Wagner is pretty inexperienced and if results turn, then they may struggle to turn things around”.

If 22nd to 10th was a mile out, then 23rd to the Premier League was  his failng to hit a barn door with banjo in a brewery. An incredible miss on the punditry front.

It was a point well made in the aftermath of Huddersfield triumph. Not by the fans but the manager, who offered “Ian Holloway , all the best for the next season” . And the team, chanting “There’s only one Ian Holloway” as they celebrated in the dressing room.

Hey, at least Ian got basement club Rotherham United right. One out of three ain’t bad, I suppose.

😂😂😂 Man just burned Ian Holloway on live TV #Legend pic.twitter.com/Ru8rYUQ2O2

— JMichael (@m1897) May 29, 2017

Congratulations David Wagner. Congratulations Huddersfield. Tough luck Reading. We’ll see you at Brentford next season.

And, as noted earlier, season 2016/17  is now available for download on e-book in the retrospective: Welcome Home, King Jota (Brentford FC season review 2016/17)

Priced at just £1.99, all sales are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

Likewise any sales from the previous titles – Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup (2013/14), Tales from the football village (2014/15) and Ready. Steady. Go Again. (2015/16) – are also now going to the BFCCST.

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 16 to May 17, you can pick it up, here. It’s all for a great cause and, hey, you may even enjoy it, Unless your name is Ian H…..

Nick Bruzon

King Jota is the star of this year’s e-book (and it’s for a great cause).

What was your highlight of the season?  The double over QPR ? The win at Brighton? Crushing Aston Villa, Preston, Derby County and Leeds United (amongst others) at home? The trip to Burton United? Or something else?

How about those outstanding on pitch displays from the likes of Ryan Woods, Harlee Dean, Lasse Vibe and Daniel Bentley, to name but a few? Villa fan Simon Hateley self-combusting on Twitter? The return of Mrs. Brown and her boys in the hilarious : “All round to Mrs. Brown’s” (please note: your definition of hilarious may very well vary).

Mrs Brown. It was worse than any of us could imagine

If everybody’s ‘favourite mammy’ (they’re the words of the BBC, definitely not me) struggled to provide laughs, at least they came thick and fast c/o eventual QPR boss Ian Holloway. His pre-season prediction as to how Brentford would end the campaign, made in an article for Sky Sports,  was one that came back to haunt him time and again. So much so that he would eventually deny even making it.

But for me the real pick of the bunch was not one moment but a feeling of momentum that built thanks to the return of those two wonderful Spaniards – Sergi Canos and, of course, King Jota. The sale of goal machine Scott Hogan to Aston Villa would barely cause a ripple on the Griffin Park seismograph as our new look team started scoring, and playing, for fun.

How wonderful to see Sergi and Jota play with such freedom of expression down the flanks. To see how much genuine pleasure they derived from every touch and from every goal. Moreso, as Lasse Vibe started to do his thing to incredible effect. And setting Peter Gilham off on more than one occasion. Never has a little Italian restaurant; at Brentford lock, been plugged with such gusto.

It was a pleasure shared by the fans and one which even inspired BBC Billy Reeves to form a supergroup (alongside Adam Devlin from the Bluetones and Rich Hard-Fi) to pen the gorgeous charity single, ‘Welcome home, King Jota’.

Musical genius: Archer, Devlin, Reeves (l-r) c/o The Jolly Baker, Ashford

Which brings us neatly/with all the subtly of a sledgehammer (delete as applicable) to this years e-book: Welcome Home, King Jota (Brentford FC season review 2016/17).

Before you glaze over, this time things are different. It is now available for download on kindle from the Amazon store but all sale proceeds from this latest version, priced at just £1.99, are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

Likewise anything else raised by the previous titles – Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup (2013/14), Tales from the football village (2014/15) and Ready. Steady. Go Again. (2015/16) – are also going to the BFCCST.

I think we all appreciate just how much our club does off-field and in the local community. Barely a day goes by without seeing one of the players at a local school, visiting sick children in hospital or making pizzas at the aforementioned restaurant (Lasse Vibe, I’m looking at you).

Indeed, to hear Yoann Barbet and Lasse speak at the player of the year dinner after sharing the Community player of the year award for the work they do with the Trust was truly inspirational.

I love this club. I love the feeling that everybody knows everybody and looks out for each other. From a personal perspective, I’m overawed everytime somebody reads my nonsense or says a nice word in the street about The Last Word column. At the end of the day (Clive) it is just a bit of fun although with an occasional venting of frustration. Short corners. That Band. Mrs. Brown. To name but a few.

So with that in mind, if people are somehow interested in one supporter’s view of what happened between the end of last campaign to the end of this one (essentially the least bad of the blogs with a bit of new stuff in there), then you’ll be doing it for the Sports Trust.

And you can get it here.

Enjoy. Thanks for reading over the years.

Nick Bruzon

Can anything beat last season’s unicorn? The top ten moments of the campaign.

The season is over. Almost. There’s still the small matter of the play-offs to come but for us Brentford fans, at least, its time to put our feet up and relax. Leave that stress to the likes of Fulham and Reading (who’ll both be back in the Championship next season) and, instead, look back at the campaign just gone by means of a top ten. But not a conventional top ten. There’s no on pitch action.

As such, we’ve no room for discussion about Jota’s sublime goals against Derby County or QPR. Indeed, talking of the not so super hoops, this is a hit parade that has no space for discourse on our double over these near neighbours or the eventual 11 point gap that saw them end he season trailing well in our wake.

Instead, it is a top ten of the different. The unusual. The in-jokes. A top ten where the yardstick was set last season with ‘that unicorn picture’ . But what, if anything, can surpass Antonio Bergasse’s wonderful creation……

Any excuse to crowbar this one in – love that unicorn

10: Ian Holloway. We can only start with the QPR boss. Specifically the pre-season prediction that he would subsequently go on to deny making. Brentford were regressing. Brentford would be relegated Brentford couldn’t cope without the likes of Andre Gray and Alan Judge. Didn’t we prove the (then) Sky pundit wrong. Instead, it was his own side those words would have been better applied to.

Pundit Ian Holloway’s words have come back to haunt him

9 Brian Guest. Forgive me one moment of personal indulgence. Or, should I say, forgive my never before seen identical twin brother Brian. A prank that went too far saw the Fulham programme publish, amongst other things: References to the 4-0 defeat at Brentford. Mention of that 4-1 home hammering administered by Stuart Dallas, Alan Judge, Jota et al. The wonderful Michael Jackson statue. The Pizza Hut shirt – a perfect symmetry between sponsor and supporter. Even the Richard Osman / Pointless ’joke’ made it in – along with a picture of Brian wearing the Spall ’87 away shirt.

8 Josh McEachran. The first of two entries for Josh is one that caused more questions than answers. How many phones does he have? Why does he need so many phone cases? Well, two questions but no answers. Josh, if you are reading (you aren’t) could you shed some light?

7 Jugde . Just what happened here? Do we have a fan with an almost identical surname to last season’s player of the year? Was it a typo in the club shop that nobody noticed? A bet that went wrong? Jugde was spotted at several away games over the season, wearing his colours with pride. With GetWestLondon getting themselves all excited after Cardiff City away with the revelation that : Brentford fan wears Bees shirt with BREXIT 16 on the back, perhaps their energies would have been better focussed getting to the bottom of this one.

There are just too many questions

6 Peter Gilham. What can you say about Mr.Brentford? Football’s longest running man-with-the-mic turned an incredible 70 this year. 70?!!  How is that possible? Yet, like a fine wine, he continues to improve with age. And nowhere is this better seen than in his goal announcements which, of course, are sponsored by “A little Italian restaurant. At Brentford lock”.  The more goals Brentford score, the more enthused he becomes. Yet what should be the most cringeworthy and toe curling of sponsorship announcements is already becoming part of club folklore with Peter losing his composure (in the best way) should we score more than one goal in a game.

Peter, Buzz and Buzzette. The epitome of cool

5 Sergio Canos. The Burton away game, with Brentford turning a round a 3-1 half-time deficit to end it as 5-3 winners, is already the stuff of legend. The archetypal example of football being a game of two halves that saw our hosts snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (to borrow a well used phrase). But just when the afternoon couldn’t get any crazier, none other than man of the moment Sergi Canos popped up at the station alongside the Brentford fans making their way home. As you do. Cue mayhem, chaos and photos galore as he posed with each and every supporter that asked for a snap before embarking on his own train journey.

4 Big Bob Giveaway (and his April fool). If Peter Gilham is Mr. Brentford, Kitman Bob Oteng is fast carving his own niche into club folklore. An all round ‘good guy’, his BBGiveaway (which sees supporters given the chance to win a player shirt, boots or some other ‘money can’t buy’ prize) is a huge part of our match day ritual. But, with everybody looking out for stories of Jota being sold to Fulham or the Bees wearing blue and white hoops next season, he snuck one under the radar on April 1st this year. 270 fans fell for his gag about the none existent black goalkeeper’s jersey.

3 Aston Villa. In particular, uber-fan Simon Hateley. He typified the attitude of many on social media, unable to adjust to his club’s fall from Premier League grace. Whereas Newcastle United were dignified off field and as strong as expected on it, Villa seemed to have some trouble adjusting. Hateley summed it up with an ongoing series of bizarre and boastful tweets, reminiscent of Leeds United when Brentford stormed into the Championship. The biggest sense of self-entitlement this side of Arsenal TV was met with as much success as the Gunners have in the top flight.

2 Sam Saunders – that tweet. Sam’s departure in January was one we’d braced ourselves for but, at the same time, was still a sad moment when the inevitable happened. Like Peter and Bob, he is somebody who lives and breathes Brentford. That suntan, the rubber glove car wash and Saunders territory are just some of the many ways he built up a relationship with the supporters that few other players have matched. But top of the list is THE song, to the tune of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’:

Oh Sammy Saunders. You are the love of my life.
Oh Sammy Saunders. I’d let you shag my wife.
Oh Sammy Saunders. I want fake tan like you.

So when one supporter had a special request on the occasion of his best friend’s wedding, the repose was one which summed up Sam in a nutshell.

1 Josh McEachran – dressed for mini golf. No words required. The tweet says it all :

Better than the unicorn? Quite possibly ! Thanks everybody for a great season. Here’s to next year.

Nick Bruzon