On a day of incredible shocks, have we found a new ‘best worst ever’ ?

With no Brentford action over this weekend there’s no real Championship action to talk about today. Instead, there’s a flashback to yesterday’s column looking at the FA Cup and the best/worst of football films where, it would be fair to say, one has most definitely got away. First up though, Lincoln City and their incredible FA Cup win at Burnley.

What can you say? It was the archetypal cup tie and a captivating game from start to finish. Andre Gray and James Tarkowski were amongst those left looking very much non-league (please, stop sniggering) whilst Joey Barton’s second half collapse in the box was a piece of football acting so bad it made When Saturday Comes, one of the films under discussion in yesterday’s column,  seem positively Shakespearean in comparison.

Here’s hoping the FA take some retrospective action. It was a terrible example for any young children who may have been watching etc etc etc and a chance missed by the BBC. Whilst, rightly, focussing on Lincoln’s incredible triumph Barton was mostly glossed over. Whilst he was discussed, his antics would be described on Match of the Day as “Just Joey’s game” – see also, his shove in the face of Terry Hawkridge.

It may be “Just Joey’s game”. It’s not the FA’s, though. Old habits seemingly just can’t go away as the whole sorry performance was glossed over. No irony has been lost today with this tweet subsequently resurfacing.

What a performance from Lincoln. How nice to be talking about City rather than Red Imps of Gibraltar on these pages. And what a disaster for Burnley. If only they’d played like that when Marinus took Brentford to Turf Moor last season. Come to think of it, the way we played that day, we’d still have gone down .

Turf Moor last season. Any excuse to crowbar this one in – love that unicorn

It was a wonderful cup upset with another one appearing on these very pages. One of those rare instances where yours truly has actually called something correctly. It won’t last although, whilst I’m on something of a streak, let’s tempt fate and back Brentford to beat Sheffield Wednesday on Tuesday night.

The other topic under discussion yesterday was the portrayal of football on screen. The good, the bad and those efforts which crossed over into both camps. Yet one was missed. One I’d never, ever heard of yet now seen, am giving serious consideration to tracking down if the trailer is anything to go by.

Big thanks to supporter Marc Loewenthal for sharing, this : Hot Shot.

Coming soon. To a betamax near you

The 94 second trailer features, amongst other things : temporarily washed up Pay-lay (that’s Pele to you and I), an up and coming hot head,  an 80’s synth pop soundtrack and a training montage.

A training montage ! A. Training. Montage. In a trailer ! How good must this film be that they can afford to offer up this most iconic of sequences in the teaser sequence?

With a script that seems hammier than Joey Barton’s acting, the producers may aswell have just lifted it straight from the bucket marked , “One was a cop who played it straight. The other wasn’t afraid to bend the rules to get results. Yet, somehow, this unlikely pairing could just be the ones to crack the case and save the day ”

Nice one , Marc. And thank you.

Good luck Lincoln City in Sunday’s draw. As for me, I’m looking forward to Sheffield Wednesday on Tuesday.

Can Brentford bounce back?

Nick Bruzon

The one stat that tells the story of the season

Whilst the majority of the football world were, rightly, congratulating Leicester City and Burnley on their respective Premier League accomplishments last night, over in TW8 there was equal cause for celebration. Not that one time Brentford loan star Jeff Schlupp was now a top flight champion but QPR losing 1-0 against Andre Gray and his team mates means that the Bees end the season as the highest placed London team in the Championship table.

With only one game to play, there’s now an insurmountable five point gap between us and the Loftus Road mob. Fulham aren’t even at the party. Hey, the table doesn’t lie.

The ‘as it stands’ table does’t lie

If ever there was an incentive to really go for it on Saturday against Huddersfield then here it is. The chance for Brentford to really stretch out that lead over QPR whilst, at the same time, even overtaking Birmingham City (whose game at Cardiff won’t be the easiest) and snatch 9th position in the final table.

Whatever happens, considering the ups and downs of a campaign that saw us lose players, head coaches and, at one point, games like they were going out of fashion this is a stunning achievement. Perhaps not at Leicester City levels but still not one to be sniffed at. Moreso given how Dean Smith was talking about a relegation battle as recently as March.

I’m not going to pretend Burnley are our new best friends. The memories of the Gray and Tarkowski sales still linger heavily although it would take the most churlish amongst us not to see the joy in the supporter’s eyes when that final whistle blew. It would take the most churlish amongst us not to offer their players – even Joey Barton-  congratulations on a job very well done. It would take the most churlish amongst us not to thank them for putting the final nail in the coffin for any hopes QPR had of overtaking us.

Likewise, we can take some pride in the fact Andre honed his skills and began the  season at Griffin Park. Now he has taken his game to new heights and it will be intriguing to see how he goes in the top flight where, of course, there is further silver lining in the fact that the ‘promotion’ clause in his transfer will now be activated.

Not that the club ever reveal details of transfer fees, of course.

For now though, there’s that all important season ending stat. It may not be up to Luis Melville standards but there’s no denying it:

Brentford are kings of West London Championship football and there’s nothing QPR or Fulham can do about it.

Maybe next season, chaps .

Nick Bruzon

As Tarka’s the Rotter is it adios to Jota and Toums?

The morning after the night before. Burnley have still beaten Brentford 3-1 after playing us not so much off the park but into next week during the most shambolic first half I can recall in some time. The second half remains one of top- drawer excitement and a hugely enjoyable atmosphere as Alan Judge and the boys began an improbable fight back that, in the end, wasn’t to be. And, having slept on it, words to describe James Tarkowski’s actions still fail me.

I wrote a column when I got home last night to describe my thoughts on the player and the situation. It was an angry one – although not quite up to the recent FCM piece – and it’s here if you want to read it. In the cold light of day, has anything changed? No, with the exception of fellow central defender Andreas Bjelland.

Just to clear up any potential confusion, I can only apologise if anybody feels that the weak pun in the headline was a sleight at him. Andreas has suffered a horrendous injury and James is one of the players we’re looking to help in his place at centre back. Personally I felt a bad pun, that fitted the scenario, would be the best way of conveying what most of us are probably thinking. I could have gone much stronger but, then again, writing at 1am following an emotional night has probably impaired that decision ! Certainly one that would have been written differently with a bit more consideration.

Having given it some thought over night, my over riding feeling is one of being tremendously let down. Alan Judge and Toumani Diagouraga have both been the subject of high profile bids – in the case of the former from Burnley themselves – yet both continue to give their all for the Bees. Indeed, Toumani may well have played his last game if the gift he gave one supporter is any sort of indication. ..

One train passenger got more than he bargained for

Yet neither player has stooped to this level. There’s nothing much you can really say on the matter. We’d all love Matthew Benham to hold out on selling him but, sadly, the financial demands of Championship football and FFP rules means it will be unlikely we can afford to leave a wheelbarrow full of cash on the training pitch. I’d love to be proved wrong on that front and hope , for once, principals would triumph. However, given that, barring a miracle, Tarks has played his last game for Brentford can we afford not to sell him just to prove a point ?

What a sad end to a great Griffin Park career. From hero to zero in the space of a day.

The other hero who sounds as though he has played his last game at Griffin Park for some time is Jota. Reports doing pretty much all the rounds suggest that he is on his way back to Spain to play for Eibar on an 18 month loan.

Certainly, Dean Smith has alluded to the hugely popular player having some personal issues at the moment and so, whilst this would be a huge loss for Brentford if confirmed, we can only wish him the very best. Of course, we all hold out hope of seeing him in a Bees shirt once more but I fear the worst.

It looks unlikely to be Jota in the 90th minute any more

So what else did we learn from last night?

Well, despite popularity levels on a par with James Tarkowski (at least, amongst the Brentford faithful) Joey Barton can take a mean free kick. If Burnley’s opening goal, curled in from 25 yards by Scott Arfield was a stunner, this wasn’t too far behind Whilst it hurts to say anything nice about the former Loftus Road man and outspoken numpty, you can’t deny the technique used in his strike. Fair play to the Turf Moor dead ball coach.

Sam Saunders ran his heart out, as did Alan Judge. One good thing to come out of the last week might just be the renaissance of the ever popular wing wizard (some would argue it had never gone). I’m sure he’ll get another run out at Preston next week – and no bad thing.

Brentford are still struggling to score goals. We’ve managed just 4 in 6 games whilst Dean Smith can’t seem to buy a win (not literally, that would be a breach of regulations). The Bees are still in a great position, moreso given the start to the campaign, but I really hope the rest of the campaign doesn’t fizzle out into a fug of gloom and nonchalance as we slither down the table.

Yet when this team do play, they still look stunning. Talking to one New Road observer in the pub afterwards, she noted how the first half had seen us play like a team that would struggle to even complete a dot to dot, let alone a pass to each other. The flipside being that the second period saw us turn it on for one of the most exciting periods of play we’ve seen in a long while.

And finally, Burnley ‘keeper Tom Heaton. Or, more specifically, his buttocks. “Stunning” was the politest of many references to a player that one terrace wag described as “The Kim Kardashian of the 18 yard box”. Truly, a rotund derriere that was the butt of many jokes from the Ealing Road.

On a night where Tarky was talking out of his backside, let’s just hope we can put all this business behind us.

Nick Bruzon

Tarky – Our new Bjelland

Oh, the irony. A game featuring Joey Barton in which the former QPR man was only the second biggest w*nker on show. Burnley beating Brentford 3-1 (and well played on that front – seriously) was but the mere sideshow as former Bee James Tarkowski gave his very best demonstration of how to lose friends and alienate people.

What a colossal wand. His pre-match hissy fit and refusal to play against the club so publically courting him have instantly graduated the player formally known as ‘Tarks’ to Martin Rowlands levels of popularity.Never have I known such anger, frustration and incredulation amongst the Griffin Park faithful. It was disappointment on a level approaching a post match article about the development squad.

For a player under contract, and whom we have turned down a bid for, to then refuse to play smacks whole heartedly of the last time he has pulled on the red and white.

To be honest, having taken things to that level he probably doesn’t give a monkey anyway. With agents pouring money and sweet nothings into his ear, along with the prospect of a move North, offending his employers and supporters was probably the least of his concerns.

Well, James. This one’s for you. Call me Kevin Keegan but I tell you this. I’d love it. I’d absolutely love it if Mr. Benham leaves you to rot in the reserves. You’re under contract and so we don’t, actually, have to sell you.

Sure, the lorry load of cash that Sean Dyche will now have to drive up to Griffin Park would be nice, but sometimes principals are the better part of valour. You’ll never be able to play for Brentford again, that’s for sure.

I just hope Matthew is in a position where he can really tell you to do one. Five months of doing laps around the youth team training pitch would be a wonderful return for this complete slap in the face to those supporters – young and old – whose shirts bear your name.

The game tonight went to the deserved team. Burnley produced three class goals and, being honest, we were lucky that’s all it was. Brentford put in a complete first half no show as the visitors were allowed to run riot. How Andre Gray didn’t join the scorers (or The Bees were able to contain it to just three) we’ll never know. Yet Alan Judge’s goal, early in the second half, raised the roof and gave us hope that the impossible may just happen.

Sadly, it wasn’t to be. Whilst the follow up display was as good as the first half was bad, by that point we’d already been fatally holed below the waterline. The play-offs now look nothing more than a wistful flight of fancy whilst, with a fifteen point gap, relegation is surely too impossible to comprehend.

Instead, it simply remains to hope we hang on to all our transfer targets and eventually choose, under our terms, to sell Tarkowski to Wigan Athletic or some other such Northern non-entity.

Again, well played Burnley. You thoroughly deserved your win and no amount of Tarkowski related frustration will change that.

The alternate post-match exit music of Jessie J and her chart topping ‘Price Tag’ single was a very telling choice. Lyrics of “It’s not about the money, money, money. We don’t need your money, money, money,” were, I am sure, anything but coincidence.

As for the Bees, the next few days are going to make very interesting viewing indeed.

Tarks – picture taken months ago rather than last night

Nick Bruzon

A goal scoring hero returns for TV clash

Brentford entertain Burnley this evening. On the one hand it is a battle for the promotion play-offs and a chance to get one over Sean Dyche but there is more to it than just that. Bees fans will, no doubt, be hoping our boys can teach him and Andre Gray a footballing lesson. Many remain unhappy about the net result of the striker’s sale whilst the unsettling rumours surrounding James Tarkowski and Alan Judge have been as welcome on the terrace as a visit from ‘the phantom farter’ (if you’ve ever stood in the vicinity, you’ll know). Chuck former QPR employee and motormouth Joey Barton into the mix aswell and, I think it would be safe to say, we might have quite an atmosphere tonight.

Will Tarks and Judge play? One would only assume so. I’ll be furious if either is missing. That said, Sean Dyche can’t be blamed for trying to both acquire and unsettle the players just ahead of the game. Dean Smith confirmed yesterday that the Burnley boss had put in a bid for our leading scorer and player of the season to date.

We saw the same thing happen with Andre Gray just before we played at Turf Moor earlier on the season. Dyche finally got his man with Brentford happy to sell for a lorry load of cash despite his scoring 2 from 2 against both Ipswich Town and Bristol City. The Bees very much missed his cutting edge in that game at Burnley although, equally, even with Dean Holdsworth, Robert Taylor and Lloyd Owusu up front I think we’d have struggled to score in that one.

As was noted in the Last Word at the time, Marinus seemed obsessed with ball retention and pass completion – to the point that out 62% domination saw the ball rarely cross the half way line as time and again it went across the defence and out to the midfield before heading back to David Button.

“Hanging on to the ball at the back is all well and good, and we did that part very well, but the lack of any imagination, movement, cut and/or thrust when we tried to take it forward was, ultimately, what did for us.”

The Bees at Turf Moor – as our pitch looked like a ploughed field, theirs was magnificent

So can we do any better in front of the Sky cameras tonight? It’s true that Burnley look in ominously good form with their 5-0 win on Tuesday night. Likewise, their mini slump has ended with them still sitting in an excellent league position. Whilst they’ve only won 3 times in the last 10, they’ve picked up 10 points out of a possible 15. Andre Gray leads the divisional scoring charts on 16, having now broken clear of a chasing pack that includes our own Alan Judge.

Yet we have our own incentives to win as noted at the top of this column. Likewise, three points will lift us up to 9^th and within touching distance of that play-off zone once more. I’d imagine Sergi Canos will start this one, having moved back to the bench in midweek, although I wouldn’t be upset to see Sam Saunders hang on to his place. Personally, I thought the wing wizard gave a very good account of himself against Middlesbrough.

As ever, the main question is going to be one of where the goals will come from. Is Marco Djuricin ready to start? Will The Hoff be given a chance from the off? Or does Lasse Vibe retain his place? I have no clue as to which way Dean Smith will jump but, personally, would stick with Lasse given the current options.

Which, as I put the industrial sized crowbar away, talk of strikers brings us onto tonight’s guest of honour – Lloyd Owusu – who is being welcomed into the Brentford ‘Hall of Fame’. Signed by owner/chairman/manager Ron Noades from Slough Town in 1998, his impact was immediate. 25 goals followed, including the Third Division title decider against Cambridge United. The denouement of that season saw the final game of the season become a battle to be Champions at the Abbey Stadium and Lloyd was the right man in the right place to help Brentford bag the honours.

Leading scorer 3 times in his 4 seasons, he stayed with us right up to the end of the Steve Coppell era and that play off final (spoiler alert – we lost) at the Millennium Stadium against Stoke City. It was a sad end to a great career at Griffin Park and more so as, out of contract, he left for Sheffield Wednesday.

Three years later there was better news for Bees as the hero returned. Martin Allen brought him back to Griffin Park for a further two years. 2005-06 saw him bag a further 14 goals in 42 games that resulted in another play off appearance – we lost. Injury blighted his final season but, by that stage, the legend had been born.

The arms raised high in the air and the chants of “Ooh Ooh Ooh” from the terrace have become an iconic image, and sound, for those who frequented Griffin Park at the time. Equally, Peter Gilham going into meltdown every time he launched into a lung busting scream of “Owusuuuuuuu!”

Here’s hoping for some more tonight.

Lloyd Owusu – back at Griffin Park tonight

Nick Bruzon

The Brentford ‘be@*d club’ gains and loses a member

Matthew Benham’s latest cryptic clue has been revealed as the much rumoured transfer target, Yoann Barbet. The signing of the French centre back from Chamois Niortais was announced on Thursday, scotching any lingering worries that former QPR ‘character’ Joey Barton would be joining the Bees.

The retrospective unraveling of the video hint, the ‘It’s just the three of us’ scene from the film Barton Fink, has best been interpreted as a reference to the three Frenchmen now at Griffin Park – Toumani Diagouraga and Raphaël Calvet being the other two. It’s not without good reason these (the clues rather than the players)  are described as cryptic although if Matthew was going down that route, was there a case for ‘Three Men and a Barbet’, perhaps?

 

To read the rest of this article, season 2015/16 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full, as :   Ready. Steady. Go Again. : Brentford FC season review 2015 – 2016

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, it’s the annual clean up to make more space on the site for the inevitable follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

But wait, like all the best infomercials, there’s more. The last three seasons of the Last Word : Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup; Tales from the football village and Ready. Steady. Go Again are also available in one combined volume as: 

Brentford Football Club – The Bees are going up. Season reviews: 2013/14, 2014/15 & 2015/16 

We did. And we still are ! 

 

Official twitter strikes again

 

Barbet or Barton? Is Matthew Benham’s clue pointing to France or QPR?

Matthew Benham has sent Brentford fans into waves of mild panic that the club will be signing former QPR midfielder and current free agent Joey Barton.

The cause for this alarm was the club owner using Twitter on Wednesday lunchtime to release one of his ‘cryptic clues’ – always a sign that transfer news is imminent. This time around, the video was a scene from Coen Brothers classic, Barton Fink. Hence the immediate thought that similarly monikered Joey was next on the Griffin Park shopping list.

To read the rest of this article, season 2015/16 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full, as :   Ready. Steady. Go Again. : Brentford FC season review 2015 – 2016

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, it’s the annual clean up to make more space on the site for the inevitable follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

But wait, like all the best infomercials, there’s more. The last three seasons of the Last Word : Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup; Tales from the football village and Ready. Steady. Go Again are also available in one combined volume as: 

Brentford Football Club – The Bees are going up. Season reviews: 2013/14, 2014/15 & 2015/16 

We did. And we still are ! 

Ramsey’s treat as the neighbours take a tumble

Thank you Manchester City. What more can you say after they condemned Queens Park Rangers to an immediate return to the Championship on Sunday lunchtime? And how! We’ll get to the latest from Brentford shortly (where ‘official twitter’ is at it again) but we can only start with events at the Ethiad as City confirmed that the first of next season’s West London derbies will be an all Championship affair between Fulham and QPR after City beat the Loftus Road outfit 6-0.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further on.

Joyless Joey misses the point as Fulham await Bees

This time next week Brentford will have a much better idea of how serious our Championship promotion aspirations are. We’ll be waking up after the home game against Nottingham Forest whilst, before that, comes the trip to Fulham on Friday.

I really cannot wait for that one. Its been a long time coming and with over 6,000 Brentford fans present, The Cottage is sure to be rocking – as much as it can rock, given the deluge of foam hands reported to be on display. It would be fair to say that both Fulham fans and Bees are anticipating a lively afternoon with several of our respective ‘forums’ – cottagecorner and the GPG (amongst others) – running lengthy streams on what this game means and what they are expecting.

It’s tight at the top with 7(seven) left to play

For me, it is simply a chance to get another three points whilst, if we are successful, helping push our neighbours another step close to relegation. I’d love to take the moral high ground and say ‘this is just another game, with wining the most important thing’, but local pride counts for one hell of a lot. And whilst, sadly, Blackpool, Wigan Athletic and Millwall seem to be doing everything possible to tie up the bottom three, I can still dream.

We haven’t played each other too much in recent seasons but whenever the F word is mentioned I’m instantly taken back to season 1991/92. A 1-0 win at Fulham on October 5^th (my 21^st birthday game and one from which I still have the away shirt given that day –and will be worn on Friday) was followed by that end of season 4-0 demolition at Griffin Park.

Four up at half time, it was one of the most astounding performances I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing and, of course, was soon followed by promotion at Peterborough United. It’s probably an omen too far to compare this one to that but, at the least, we have already won the first game – the late, late show in front of the TV cameras at Griffin Park in November. Jota was the man of the moment, following up Harlee’s thunderbolt as a dominant Brentford turned around a 1-0 deficit.

Equally though, it’ll be great to get back to League action after an international break that seems to have lasted longer than Ray Biggar doing ‘injury time’. The positives have seen impressive performances from the likes of Moses Odubajo, Stuart Dallas and Alex Pritchard (who made it onto the pitch again last night during England U-21’s 3-2 win over Germany).

The downside of all this international football, lack of Championship programme aside, has been having to listen to the gumph spouted by Joey Barton about the likes of Gibraltar competing in the qualifying groups. Truly he is a joyless man (and that’s probably the politest thing I can say about him in print).

Not withstanding the rights of these UEFA members to compete (and nobody needs another lecture on the struggle Gibraltar have been through to become ‘team 54’), if you do away with anybody not deemed of sufficient stock then one wonders what is the point of even having a qualifying tournament.

Of 54 UEFA members, 24 will make it to the finals anyway – just under half. By Barton’s logic (surely an oxymoron if ever I heard one), why not take things a step further, dispense totally with the chance of upsets, romance, competition and just jump straight to a semi final pool involving Germany, Netherlands, Spain and Italy?

Let’s be honest, the likes of Scotland or Wales aren’t going to trouble anybody once we get to the finals in 2016 so what’s the point of cluttering the calendar giving them a chance to qualify or, heaven forbid, allowing them to play competitive football rather than friendlies?

Nobody has divine right to be ‘any good’. English teams aren’t exactly blazing a trail in European competition whilst the World Cup was hardly a glorious triumph (for the one ‘Home Nation’ to qualify). Despite the hype, it’s been a long while since the engravers have even had to be placed on standby yet the likes of Barton seem to think that only one result ever counts – England 1966. Move on Joey, wonderful though that was the footballing landscape has changed. Football is constantly talking about inclusivity – pushing teams that UEFA have granted membership to outside of their competition is hardly the way to demonstrate this.

This is one you could write a book on and, frankly, I’ve got better things to do than overly concentrate on the International game in a, predominantly, domestic column. But I couldn’t end this without a big ‘congratulations’ to Lee Casciaro and his Gibraltar team mates.

Their equaliser at Hampden Park against Scotland on Sunday was the stuff of dreams. A first ever goal in International competition for the boys from the Rock.

Us Brentford fans, of anybody, should know what it feels like to defy expectation this season. Whilst I can’t see Gibraltar coming close to being at the business end of qualifying for a while, the time will come.

Still, with the greatest respect to Gibraltar, for me it is all about Fulham on Friday. Bring it on….

Sky viewers saw Lee Casciaro make history

Why has the dog eaten Joey’s homework?

Does anybody know where Joey Barton is? With the QPR midfielder being spotted at Saturday’s Brentford v Derby County game rather than his own club’s clash with Chelsea, I don’t just mean at the weekend gone by.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.