The sound of FIFA’s marketing team saying “We told you so” after a day of brilliance.

“I’d settle for a day of Maradona and Ronaldo crying.” That, my Saturday morning wish list as the teams in the last 16 began the emotion infused process of direct elimination. Winner stays on whilst the loser goes home. On offer: France v Argentina and Uruguay v Portugal. What we got instead was a day of brilliance. Plus, for Bees fans, the club bade farewell to one Dane whilst another is in action this evening as Henrik Dalsgaard of Brentford lines up for Denmark against Croatia. And I’ve my own shirt news / thanks .

First, as ever, the World Cup. Argentina are on the plane home after a quite scintillating game with France. Les Bleus, inspired by the pace of Kylian Mbappe, were our eventual winners by the odd goal in 7(seven). But that scoreline doesn’t even begin to tell the story of a game that lurched back and forth like a drunk walking home after a night on the buckfast.

When FIFA promised that their new vivid red ball would reflect the added intensity and opportunity the knockout stage brings, it was dismissed as marketing blurb. Suggestions that the Adidas Telstar Mechta would demonstrate the rising heat of knockout-stage football, nothing more than a crowbarred excuse to justify sales.

The FIFA marketing team saying “We told you so”

Yet. Yet. Yet… could there be something in it? Whilst we can all safely answer that one, the Telstar did have a wonderful debut. With less than a quarter hour on the clock Mbappe tore half the length of the field, overtaking Marcus Rojo as he broke into the box. The Argentinian left with no choice but to upend him with all the subtlety and finesse of Harlee Dean (in a video interview).

Griezmann made no mistake from the spot. 1-0 and it was clear this could be special. The game rather than the ball. The French pressed on. An almost identical chance fashioned. The crossbar had already been hit from a free kick even before the scoring had started. Argentina anonymous and on the ropes. Surely a knockout punch to come any second.
And it did. But from the boot of Angel di Maria. A quite remarkable effort from well outside the area. A laser guided heat seeker of a goal. What a strike. What timing. 1-1 at half time.

But things got better. If one player had summed up Argentina’s anonymity it was the talismanic Lionel Messi. Yet there he was to set up his side for a 2-1 lead. Could they do it? Would France roll over and surrender? No chance. What followed next was quite brutal.

Three goals in the space of just 11 minutes. An incredible strike from Benjamin Pavard that bore more than a passing resemblance to that of Nacho for Spain against Portugal in the group stages. I can’t watch this enough. A stupendous goal. It was an effort that immediately eclipsed Di Maria’s whilst inspiring France and Mbappe to further greatness.

Oh boy. What a goal.

2-2 became 3-2 became 4-2 France in a matter of minutes. Both coming from the inspirational Mbappe – a player who has the additional effect of leaving that Hanson tune stuck in my head as a very unwelcome ear worm, even now. Yet despite the praise being quite rightly lavished on Mbappe, it was Pavard who truly knocked the stuffing out of Argentina.

Aguero pulled one back with two minutes of injury time left but the clock was eaten up by needless bickering, petulant challenges and general timewasting. France, worthy winners. Argentina, forced to reminisce about former glories

For me (Clive) it was the game of the tournament to date. A fantastic display by France yet one which was, somehow, never quite as comfortable as their performance suggested. The Uruguay-Portugal match later in the evening could never quite match what had come before but it certainly tried.

Edinson Cavani teaming up quite magnificently with Luis Suarez to score both of his sides goals in a 2-1 win. What a partnership Uruguay have, with the two of them working the pitch quite beautifully. Something evidenced by the graphic used in the BBC match report to illustrate his brutal opener.

There would be no goal for Cristiano Ronaldo. Pepe equalised for Portugal and gave us a celebration that aped the narcissism of his higher profile team mate. I’m sure he’ll argue he was just caught up in the moment and it would be trite to criticise. But Cavani restored the lead again and from that point there was no coming back for Ronaldo. No tears either. The sound of a million phones lined up for a ‘screen grab’ being put back down on the couch echoed around the UK.

Instead, Ronaldo’s role was limited to a bit part as a poor man’s King Tut. That little goatee convincing nobody. Not only was he outshone in this game but he had already had his thunder stolen by Mbappe, Pavard and Griezmann in the earlier kick off.

One for the ‘Batfans’ amongst you

So what else can we take from yesterday? On a personal note, I spend hours writing nonsense about football, about Brentford and about the World Cup. Some of it hits. Most of it misses. Then my five-year old nailed it in one take, asking: “Daddy. Why didn’t Argentina bring Lucas Biglia on?”

Watching on the BBC, I was shocked to discover in their half-time piece that, apparently, Gareth Southgate once missed a penalty? Really? Surely somebody would have mentioned this before? If you don’t believe me, Euro ’96 was the tournament. You heard it here first !
 
Off field, there has been plenty to keep us intrigued. Most of it involving Diego Maradona. Yet if we’ve learned one thing from Russia 2018, it’s how to write “A fish called” in Chinese.

Crowbarred jokes of our time

And on that laboured bombshell, back to Brentford. Firstly, a HUGE thanks to those who have downloaded one of the Last Word e-books. Whilst the shirt competition has now closed (the draw to take place later today) these are still available – links below. All proceeds go to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust for which we’ve, no – you’ve, raised well over £400 already. Nice one. THANK YOU all so much.   

As for footballing matters, the club bade an expected farewell to Andreas Bjelland yesterday. With his contract having expired, and the new offer not taken up, the Denmark international’s future lies elsewhere now. One does wonder how much more he could have shone for the Bees were it not for that horrific injury suffered in the League cup against Oxford (that Marinus experiment game…) . AS it was, still a great player and one who even gave us the thrill of being our first ever World Cup ‘Panini sticker’ despite not making the final 23 due to injury. Good luck Andreas, and thank you.

That said, one player who did make the Denmark World Cup squad is Brentford’s Henrik Dalsgaard (as we must call him). I’m really looking forward to seeing him in action once more this evening. Croatia are next in line for our man who has started all his team’s games so far.

Personally, I suspect it will be a much cagier affair than what we saw yesterday. But as has also been said many many times, I’m just the numpty on the terrace. Could the teams prove us wrong? Could Brentford have a player in the quarter finals of the World Cup?

Roll on 7pm when we find out.

Nick Bruzon

PS And if you’d like to read more whilst helping the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust , those Kindle e-book links are:

 Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself how it all began….

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Bring it on. West London’s biggest game in years has more than just a result to play for.

Tuesday night in West London and there’s one of the biggest football showdowns to have been seen in years. Whilst the casual observer might think its all about Chelsea v Barcelona in the Champion’s League, they’d be wrong. Of Course. Instead, we’ve the quite delicious treat of Brentford v Birmingham City. More importantly, the return of not just Maxime Colin, not just Jota (the real one rather than the Wolves version) but also former skipper Harlee Dean. Forget Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi visiting Stamford Bridge. The emotional significance of this trio returning, along with the circumstances of their deadline day departure, have been lost on nobody.

We felt the same way too

“The football industry is a volatile one and I think my departure was the best move for all concerned” Not my words but those of Jota upon his £6.8million (allegedly) sale to the St. Andrews outfit.

“We’ve got quality in that squad. I’ve been in teams where we’ve finished fifth in this league and missed out on promotion by play offs. And this squad is ten times better than that. Its just about getting the balance right.” Not my words but those of Harlee Dean after a Birmingham supporter’s ‘Blues Cruise’ back in late October.

We all know the scoop. On the one hand, a Brentford squad containing the likes of: David Button, Jake Bidwell, Number 26, Nico Yennaris, Sam Saunders, Moses Odubajo, Stuart Dallas, Alan Judge, Jon Toral, Jota, Alex Pritchard, Andre Gray, Scott Hogan. That’s before you add the experience provided by the likes of Dougie, Macca, King Kev and Toumani.

On the other, a Birmingham City squad who are now just 2 points outside the relegation zone and 17 (seventeen, why not) behind Brentford. A win for the Bees will put us 20 clear. That’s twice ten times better. What better incentive could there be for us to really go for it?

Whatever happened back in the summer has happened. I can’t deny any less how I felt back then although how great to see how the Bees have gone on to bigger and better things. The squad has come together in the most wonderful way to stick a metaphorical two fingers up to the Midlanders. Yet at the same time, I can’t forget the wonder of Jota at his very best.

Those goals against Derby. Against QPR. Leaving Jake Bidwell flat on his backside. The infamous Burridgegasm at Blackburn. Even if those memories do still feel slightly tarnished for now, you can’t deny how, on his day, Jota was just about the most skillful and exciting player many of us ever had the privilege of watching.  Name me somebody who wouldn’t want him or Maxime in the squad and I’ll show you a liar.

Mark Burridge and Jota’s infamous moment

As for Harlee, I feel for him. Genuinely. What a way to shoot yourself in the foot with that ill-fated quote. What a way to make Dean Smith’s team talk the simplest he’ll ever need to give. What a way to wind up the crowd.

Despite the red cards, ad-hoc positional awareness and own goals, you can’t deny Harlee was Brentford through and through. He gave his all. Not just on the pitch but off it, too, where he was so famously an unsung hero after a car accident outside Griffin Park. Where he was a total hero to my son and always made time to chat with the young fans. Try explaining to a four year old why his idol has left to join ‘the naughty team’.

The smile says its all (apologies again for the sticky fingers)

He was there as we held the Champions of Europe, Chelsea, in the FA Cup. It was Harlee who scored at Wembley in the play-off final against Yeovil following ‘that penalty’. He was the man to help shore up the ten man Bees at Leyton Orient the day we celebrated like we’d won the FA Cup. He was a Championship regular – almost pulling off an unlikely ascension to the Premier League and eventually showed his true potential ending last season as our Player of the Year.

Then he opened his mouth and, with it, undid all the positivity with a moment as significant in our history as Martin Rowlands ‘kissing the badge’.

No doubt, he’ll have a point to prove. No doubt, so will we. Expect it to be lively. Very. Expect the songs to be loud. Expect the Terrace wags to have their fill on #BeeTheDJ before kick off. And not just for Harlee.  From my perspective, any of the following would be good :

Pink Floyd – Money

The Doors  – Love Me Two Times (although that may need five plays)

Oasis – Don’t Look Back In Anger

Aerosmith – Big Ten Inch Record

Dusty Springfield – I Close My Eyes And Count To Ten

Herb Alpert  – Spanish Flea

Blake Shelton – Ten Times Crazier

The flipside is that Birmingham City will be as up for it as we are. Their season has reached a place where, with two thirds gone, they are in very real danger of slithering into League One. Of demonstrating that throwing money at a problem doesn’t necessarily make it go away.

Every point will be vital and they’ll be doing everything possible to get at least one. Picking up all three will necessitate being able to shoot at goal, something they’ve struggled with this campaign. Saturday’s home defeat to Millwall saw them manage just one shot on target whilst, with a mere 22 netbusters, they are the division’s most goal shy team.

So if you haven’t got a ticket yet, what are you waiting for? Sure, Chelsea – Barcelona , in the armchair, might be the comfortable option. It might have some of the World’s biggest names.It might have huge global viewing figures. But it won’t have the passion that this one does and it certainly hasn’t got the sub-plot.

I’ve had this date in the diary for a long, long time. And I can’t wait.

See you there.

Nick Bruzon

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of pre-season

“Championship. Championship. Here come the Bees in the Championship”. Not my words but those of Billy Reeves and Bee Faction in their promotion celebrating, ‘Hey Brentford’ song. Still available on free download, this terrace anthem has been my earworm for most of the summer.

And thankfully so, with the gap from promotion to the Championship an excruciating wait. Fortunately, this has been just one of numerous distractions to keep me occupied.

Some bad : the departure of Clayton Donaldson, the leak of the away kit and the most cringeworthy tweet to ever come out of ‘official’ channels. I have no idea who ‘drives’ @brentfordfc on Twitter but the reaction to the phrase ‘#trophyfriends’ was one of almost universal embarrassment.

Please – NEVER again

Still, that was very much the thin end of the wedge and there have been more positives to focus on than I could shake a stick at.

So here they are: the top ten moments of the close season

10: The play offs. An odd place to start, especially given our track record, but wasn’t it great to watch the annual torture session at the W place with so much direct interest for Brentford? Who from Rotherham or Leyton Orient would be joining us next season and who would suffer that ultimate kick in the knackers? Likewise, could Uwe do us a huge favour and keep the Loftus Road mob in the Championship.

In the end, it was Rotherham who celebrated like they’d won the FA Cup and Wigan Athletic who will be visiting Griffin Park for the final game of 2014/15

9: Pre-season friendlies. A complete contrast to last season where, instead of a full priced game against a Celtic reserve side, whose support were allowed free reign of Griffin Park, we’ve got visits from the continent. There could even be a smattering of World Cup stars present as both Nice and Espanyol visit, with tickets starting form as little as £5 for adults. Great work.

8: The World Cup. Putting England to one side, it has been a stunning diversion from the pain of pre-season. From the second day destruction of Spain by the Netherlands right up to the hosts being on the wrong end of a 7(seven)-1 semi-final bracketing, this has really been captivating stuff. The likes of Algeria and Costa Rica have helped demonstrate that cup football is one of the most exciting sports on the planet – moreso when there is this much in such a short space of time.

The World Cup gave us plenty to chew over

7: Diaries. Peter Gilham’s tour diary is always a great read. A fascinating view behind the curtain as to what really makes up a pre-season training camp – for both the players and the backroom staff. Moreso, it’s a sign that the campaign is almost upon us.

Always a great read

6: The roof is finally covered. At last. They squatted in TW8 for longer than the Kew Bridge ‘Eco village’ but Qatar Airways have finally been evicted from the roof of the Bill Axbey stand on New Road. We await news as to who replaces them with intrigue.

Going.Going.Gone

5: Team morale. It seems stunning. What goes on tour doesn’t necessarily stay on tour, when it comes to Brentford. Sam Saunders car wash, wearing nothing more than flip flops and three marigolds, and Harlee Dean being slapped in the face with a wet fish by Will Grigg are both videos I never thought I’d see. But am very glad I have

4: That moment when news sources recognise us. We know we’re a Championship team but others, outside of West London, are not always so quick to keep tabs. So when the likes of ‘News now’ move the Bees to their Championship page or the BBC have us as sitting in the new League table, it put a little tingle up the spine

3: Ticket prices. These increased, but marginally. The price rise was a token one and nowhere near the amount I would have expected from a club with a limited capacity (relative to our rivals) and now playing in a higher division. This really was a bold decision and they have been instantly rewarded with over 5000 sales. Thank you!

2: Mark Devlin’s strip tease. Of course, I mean the teaser campaign that has led to the unveiling of our home kit. I liked this idea – despite my desperation to see the ‘full reveal’ – and we’ve been rewarded with a great shirt. The away shirt, in particular, aside from the cracking design spec, achieves that rare feat of making the stick on sponsor’s logo look marginally acceptable. And when that happens, you know something good must be happening.

The family friendly strip tease

1: The Fixture list. If there was one thing to crank up excitement about next season, it is the moment when the fixtures are revealed. Away trips can be planned, Christmas is saved with a home fixture on Boxing Day and Uwe visits on the last day of the (hopefully) regular season. Oh, and there’s a return of the derby against Fulham

And if you need any reminder of how we got here, ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s 2013/14 promotion campaign, amongst other football related chatter) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from last season, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

Suffered from an accident at work that wasn’t your fault?

I can only imagine Luis Suarez is sitting at home right now, ringing through to the local equivalent of those ‘ambulance chasing’ compensation lawyers that alternate advertising space on ITV4 with payday loan sharks.

That is, if his anyone actually swallows his side of the story about the ‘bite’ on Giorgio Chiellini.

Except, stop. No. Don’t sue me Luis. I believe your explanation that …

“After the impact … I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth.”

As excuses go, it’s pretty pathetic: “Serial biter blames accidental stumble for latest assault on his teeth”.

Suarez – one way to stop any more accidental teeth pain

It’s up there with ‘The Dog ate my homework”, “My P.E. kit is in the wash” or Crystal Palace supporter Matthew Simmons’ assertion that he was just going to the Selhurst Park toilet and mentioned to a passing Eric Cantona that the number 7 (seven) should take an early shower.

And the worst thing about the Suarez case is that Diego Maradona, the previous panto villain of the World Cup, suddenly has the moral high ground after his 1986 ‘Hand or God’ (or, ‘punching the ball past the goalie’ as it is known in our house) knocked England out of the tournament.

At least he subsequently admitted what he had done. It didn’t make it any better to take but there was no attempt to come with an excuse that even Fergie (and this is the man who once blamed a defeat on his own team’s choice of grey shirt) would have been embarrassed to use.

Getting back to matters domestic, I found this list of various team’s ‘celebrity fans’ and their occupations whilst trawling the interweb last night. It makes amusing reading with some generous descriptions of what said supporter is known for and, perhaps, gives some clue as to which Championship ‘C-listers’ could be occupying the Brentford director’s box next season.

There’s no Rhino out of Status Quo for us although I’m pleased to see the inclusion of a ‘TV Broadcasting Big Cheese’ (their words) even if it isn’t Natalie Sawyer.

Clearly, a list that needs updating. That, or the Brentford PR people need to work harder. If only they’d mentioned it before….

‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s season 2013/14) – amongst other things – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

Are Brentford about to unveil MT today?

With the evening’s football being overshadowed by Luis Suarez and his latest bite, you could be forgiven for missing the other news. I won’t repeat the column on Suarez, suffice to say that the graphic I’d put together left me having nightmares – with the miniaturised head of Russell Slade protruding from the Uruguayan’s mouth, much akin to the eponymous creature from the Alien movie.

However, what I will repeat is Matthew Benham’s proclamation that Brentford should be announcing a new signing today – initials MT.

Mr Benham loves a cryptic clue (see also: Mark Warburton replacing Uwe Rösler – one I still can’t work out, even knowing the answer). Of course, whichever name I suggest is sure to be wild speculation and miles off.

Moreso, as Matthew has not started following any ‘MT’ on twitter (much as he did with Alan Judge or Chuba Akpom). Chelsea and Ghana’s Christian Atsu being his latest ‘follow’, although that would be a CA.

Could one of these be pictured at Griffin Park today, holding a new Adidas shirt?

 

 

View from the terrace – Marcello Trotta scores from the penalty spot against Gillingham

And if BBC Manish is reading (he isn’t) I very much enjoyed your coverage of the Japan – Colombia game on BBC 3 last night. However, was there really a need to make a point that it was women aged 18-24, more than any other gender group, who watched the Croatia game?

Come on Manish, this is the 21^st century – who cares? Women play and watch football, too. Besides, the men were probably all busy doing the washing up and ironing.

‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’  – The story of Brentford’s season 2013/14 (amongst other things) is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle  / digital device.

Matthew Benham’s mystery MT overshadowed by the Suarez gnashers

You couldn’t make it up. With the media all set to deliver the fatal blow to England after a dismal World Cup, Luis Suarez has stolen all the headlines with his bite on Giorgio Chiellini. This, as Uruguay knocked Italy out in the same group stage as Roy’s Boys.

Words fail to do justice to the reaction after the Uruguayan committed this most heinous of offences for the third time in his career. Robbie Savage kept repeating the line, “It’s disgraceful, disgraceful” whilst Gary Lineker did his best to remain po-faced and serious when all he wanted to do was let rip.

Meanwhile on BBC 3, Manish (of football League show fame) and his guests attempted to play ‘keepie uppie’ in the studio with a tennis ball. Even Carlos Valderama had a crack in a feature that was about as far away from a mouthful of Italian shoulder blade as you could hope to get.

And if it proved a distraction from England then it has very much been the same with Brentford. Matthew Benham’s late afternoon announcement of an imminent signing (initials: MT), to be revealed tomorrow, has had supporters guessing as to who it could be?

Marcello Trotta? Martin Taylor? Matt Tubbs? Marcos Tébar? Or A.N.Other?

Anyone who has followed Mathew on twitter will recognise his love of a cryptic clue and so this is just as likely to end up being Mr T.

Whoever it is, with Clayton rumoured to be undergoing a medical at Birmingham City at the same time as Suarez was tucking into an Italian, I’m chomping at the bit for any news.

Who is the mystery MT ???

As you may have also read (I’ve not mentioned it much), I’ve released an e-book. ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’  the story of Brentford’s season 2013/14  (amongst other things) is now available to download for your kindle / digital device. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, you can get it here.

However, I’m not the only person writing about the Bees. Greville Waterman, who you may know from the fantastic series of ‘Big Brentford book of the….70s/80s/90s’ has started his own blog. I have to say it is a thoroughly good read and you can catch up with all from bfctalk, here.

The other blog site I’ve enjoyed (although seems to have gone a bit quiet in recent months) is: 101 uses for Russell Slade. Set up after being left with a surfeit of the commemorative Beesotted trophies following the Stevenage game, I’m hoping it gets going again over that painful ‘closed season’ period.

And if it helps, here’s my take on the next ‘use’. A Hannibal Lecter style facemask for Luis Suarez .

Just one of the 101 uses for a Beesotted Russell Slade

England down but not (quite) out. At least Brentford shone.

I have to start with the World Cup and England being beaten by Uruguay. My one word match report: Suarez.

Whatever you say about England’s failings or those things we did well (erm, Wayne Rooney scored. A World Cup goal) the ultimate difference between the two teams was a world-class striker. Say what you want about him, and many have – including my own proclamation at 9am in the office that “Suarez is knackered – he won’t do anything tonight”, but the quality of his finishing and the timing of his runs was magnificent.

With the England defence less holding the line and more tied up in knots by it, twice he opened us up as easily though we were nothing more than a jar of caramel spread.

Poor Roy looked shell-shocked afterwards. Captain Steven Gerrard didn’t even face the cameras. But, are there any positives?

Firstly we are still in it. Unlike deposed champions Spain or Australia

We can still qualify for round 2. All we need is Italy to beat Costa Rica; England to beat Costa Rica; qualified Italy to beat a Uruguay side also in need of three points; goal difference to do us a favour.

Likewise, demoralised by defeat I didn’t stay up to sit through Japan and Greece drawing 0-0. That was an extra 90 minutes of sleep I wouldn’t ordinarily have had.

Best of all though, unless the ITV sound quality was as bad as their World Cup jingle (which sounds like a Nokia 3310 ring tone and must have taken all of ten seconds to come up with) Bernie Clifton and his ‘England Supporter’s band’ were nowhere in evidence. Being on the brink of going out is frustrating enough but then having to watch Suarez destroy us, sound tracked by a flaccid rendition of ’Love will tear us apart’, would have been a final kick in the knackers.

It could have been so much worse last night

Back at domestic level, earlier in the day the Brentford club shop held the launch of next season’s home shirt. This was another great event with players and Natalie Sawyer, amongst others, in attendance over the course of the afternoon and doing a great job on behalf of the club. As ever, they couldn’t be more welcoming.

The only thing missing was a ‘sneak peak’ at the away shirt….

England may be standing on the edge but at least anticipation for the forthcoming Championship season is cranking up nicely.

Proud dad takes his son shopping – not even I’ve got one of these shirts yet

(‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ The combined story of Brentford’s season  2013/14 – amongst other things –  is now available on kindle. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle )

The four simple rules have gone out of the window…

Liverpool – I blame you. And Brentford have had no small part in this either.

The Anfield giants and the boys from Griffin Park seem on a hell bent mission to make that darkest of arts, the football coupon, even harder to win than before (please note bookmakers – the word is accumulator, not a*ca).

It is a particular favourite past-time of mine on those occasions it’s not possible to travel with the Bees to whichever far flung Northern outpost the fixture list has decided is next on our travels.

We all know football. There are only three possible results – home win, away win or draw. What could be simpler than picking a few games, selecting one of these options and then sit back to watch the winnings roll in?

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.