Tag Archives: Michael McIntyre

The ultimate sucker punch; the ultimate indignity. Leeds sting Bees with a short corner

18 Dec

After 7 (seven) attempts, Leeds United finally recorded a win over Brentford in modern times as Kyle Bartley’s 89th minute header saw the home side shade a 1-0 win over the Bees at Elland Road. No complaints here. We’ve always said there’s only one stat that counts – balls in the back of the net. Leeds aced that statistical column yet how different it might have all been.

Scott Hogan had a ‘goal’ ruled out for an apparent offside that Dean Smith was left hugely frustrated about at full time. His post match interviews saw him telling the BBC that, “It wasn’t justified. I’ve seen the replays and he was marginally onside” whilst his chat with Channel 5 included the observation that “we’ve had a goal chalked off when it was marginally onside”. Interestingly, the BBC match report claim this one was ‘rightly’ ruled out yet the views that are perhaps most telling are those of former Leeds player Michael Gray.

Sitting on the Channel Five punditry sofa (what a far cry for those early days of an awkward looking studio audience milling around the set), and with the benefit of video replay, his own take on it was : “Looking across the six yard line here, he’s actually onside Scott Hogan when he put’s the ball in the back of the net… the ball does go back a little bit and it should have actually stood.

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Channel 5 footage supported their view – Scott was onside

Yes, Channel Five. Whilst this page normally opts for the Sky clip one has to say that Five’s video package is definitely the winner this weekend. Besides, when the alternate 9pm TV  option last night was Michael McIntyre with both David Brent and Sting (a man whose recent Twitter trending made me fear 2016 had lost another rock legend but, alas, it was worse than that – he was on national TV) then it was a no-brainer to opt for George Riley and co.

At least, until Sunday lunchtime when we get the Burridge free Beesplayer take on things featuring Chris Wickham, Mark Chapman and Sean Ridley. Pity those three doing their best to light up this one – a game that another internet source I stumbled across mid-afternoon described as “anything but a Christmas Cracker”.

Official highlights now available, too

Then again, it was only going to be the proverbial,’gritty game’. Tell me otherwise but it seems one of few chances with those that were taken amounting to nothing even close. At least, until first Hogan and then Bartley had their respective moments.

“Chances were at a premium” said Dean afterwards. This was only ever going to be the case going into this game and sure enough it transpired as Leeds moved to within a couple of points of third place with their late, late winner.

Tom Field started, again. He was mysteriously substituted, again. A shame for so many reasons, not the least of which being there just didn’t seem to be any need to do it. I have to be honest, Dean’s substitution philosophy does seem somewhat random at times. Perhaps the youngster just hasn’t got the legs but, equally, against Burton he came on for Yoann Barbet . Perhaps the Frenchman is still seen as first choice and isn’t fully fit.

Either way, the goal came from a ball dropped amongst our plethora of centre backs, who then parted like the Red Sea. More tellingly it was one delivered from a short corner. A short corner for crying out loud. This most maligned of set pieces works about as frequently as a Brentford win in the play offs yet here it was, reaping reward at the denouement of what should have been at least a point for the visitors. It is a routine that even the Beesplayer team had noted Leeds were favouring and if they could spot this, surely our fleet of coaches would have done the same and looked to shut it down?

Go figure?

Anyway, we’ve lost and all the analysis in the world won’t change a thing. I’d called home win, away win, draw from these three games prior to Burton. But for a rogue corner / offside flag Christmas would have come early in our house. Instead, it’s gruel for lunch next week as an investment made for research purposes only came unstuck at the death.

On the positive side, we’ve got a home clash on Boxing Day to look forward to. Always a favourite, I’ve no doubt the Bees will get back to winning ways on the 26th.

See you then  – preferably with Fields (of goals), and no Sting.

dunemoviefacts

Nick Bruzon

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Incoming. Do we have incoming as Cup final more than delivers?

22 May

Well, that was a day. Manchester United and Mark Clattenburg beat Crystal Palace to win the FA Cup whilst North of the border, former Bees boss Mark Warburton saw his Rangers side go down to Hibernian in the Scottish equivalent. As for the main news, it would seem we have incoming at Brentford – Matthew Benham has fired up the cryptic clue generator once more.

But I need to start with the FA Cup final, simply because it had the footballing community gripped. And, as is so often the case, it was what happened off the pitch that provided many of the talking points. Certainly for the so called ‘neutrals’ – although how many can ever be neutral in a game involving Manchester United remains to be seen. Of those I spoke to, most were cheering on Goliath rather than David in the hope that Crystal Palace could lift that famous trophy.

Where do you start ? Alan Pardew’s dancing, surely. With Jason Puncheon giving Palace a deserved lead his manager couldn’t help but launch into an touchline routine as he channelled his inner John Travolta. And it was bad. Like the worst of dad at a wedding after a few too many beers. More Alan Partridge than Alan Pardew.

Yet who am I to criticise? If you win it makes you even more of a hero and adds to the moment. There can’t be too many managers to have seen their side take the lead in an FA Cup final and so fairplay to him for enjoying the moment. Even if it was, almost literally, a moment as United equalised within minutes.

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BBC viewers saw Alan Pardew in ‘wedding mode’

If nothing else, it is something that is sure to go down in Cup history like Trevor Brooking’s header (apparently, he scored once and West Ham won the cup), Chas and Dave, Radford’s rocket (yawn) and the White Horse.

I hadn’t realised this but apparently Palace and Manchester United had met in the Cup Final before. Back in 1990. I was out of the room at one point getting a drink but I’m pretty sure I came back just in time to hear that fact mentioned.

And then again. And again. And again. The BBC had a crowbar and they were going to use it. I had ‘1990‘ on my FA Cup bingo card (along with ‘Fellaini elbow‘ – which took longer than expected) more as a token gesture than anything else. Sure enough, the BBC obliged.

We had the obligatory feature with Ian Wright during the build up. Specifically revisiting the estate he grew up on and the patch of grass where he played football as a youngster. I’m sure we’ve seen variants of this before, many times, but it’s still such an inspirational story. I loved the fact the BBC had gone ‘old school’ and, like last year, had a whole series of final related shows and features starting about five hours before kick off.

Ah yes, before kick off.  When the players should have been walking onto the pitch proceedings were delayed as the FA Cup tried to go ‘Super Bowl’ – but on a budget of 50p. Instead of the Rolling Stones or Coldplay (thank heavens for small mercies) , we had Tinie Tempah bouncing around a purpose built stage on the centre circle.

Perhaps this delay was the reason for the subsequent ‘sound malfunction’ with the National Anthem. What a moment in any singer’s career. With the eyes of the world watching, this was her time to shine.

Yet  as the band started, former X-Factor contestant Karen Harding stood motionless, clutching the microphone to her waist and waiting for I don’t know what. “Has she forgotten to sing?” asked Mrs. Bruzon on the sofa next to me.

To be honest, I don’t know what happened. Stage fright? Abject terror? Brain freeze? Or just missed her cue? Even if there had been an issue with her earpiece, would the fact that there were 100,000 people in the stadium singing not have been a clue?

I guess we’ll never know the real reason. Karen joined the rest of us in time to sing the last 9 (nine) words. Like Pardew’s dancing, it was another moment that will be written into the FA Cup’s already voluminous history.

She got there in the end

As for the game, Jesse Lingard’s extra time winner was a goal to light up any Cup Final (Boom – the sound of another cliche going off). It was a wonderful strike to give United the lead after Juan Mata had hauled them back into it, courtesy of some brilliance from Wayne Rooney.

The X-men actor and England man revelling in his midfield position as he provided a stunning assist for the equaliser. Rooney’s name may not have been on it but his strength and purpose as he worked with the ball for what seemed an eternity deserve genuine recognition.

Mata’s equaliser had the additional bonus of meaning BBC coverage over ran further and, as a result, saw the subsequent cancellation of the alleged comedy ‘Mrs. Brown’s Boys’. It was only a shame that the same privilege couldn’t be extended to Michael McIntyre following full time.

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Mrs Brown – thanks Wayne and Juan

The other person needing special mention was referee Mark Clattenburg. Twice in the first half he stopped proceedings and denied Palace genuine goal scoring opportunity, instead bringing the ball back for their ‘advantage’. Once was bad enough but to do it a second time had even Alan Pardew making note.

The irony of former referee Mark Halsey’s comments last year that Clattenburg should have had the 2015 final were not lost. At the time he was quoted on the BBC as saying:

I’m amazed that they’ve not given him the final…

“I would imagine that Jon Moss will feel a little bit sheepish that he doesn’t really deserve it and Mark Clattenburg does.”

“How many times has Mark done massive games? He’s done the Uefa Super Cup this year, big Champions League games and earned plaudits. It just doesn’t make sense.

Well, Mark. There’s your answer.

At the end of the day (Clive), Manchester United won it. You can’t deny them their moment and, certainly, they celebrated like they’d just beaten Leyton Orient (Russell? Russell?? Russell……?). Players, fans and management were ecstatic. Understandably so.

Likewise, congratulations must be offered to Louis van Gaal and his team. I’m sure they’ll both grow from here and the Dutchman will be a force to be reckoned with next season. Now he has a first trophy under his belt, his stock is sure to be rising with the Old Trafford board.

As for matters North of the border, Hibernian beat Rangers 3-2 to lift the Scottish cup. Sadly it wasn’t quite to be for Mark Warburton although I’m sure he’ll be more than happy with a season that has seen his team promoted to the top flight.

David Gray scored a late winner for Hibs which, aswell as sparking a post match pitch invasion / riot (delete as applicable) also saw our own Matthew Benham launch the cryptic clue generator once more.

Matthew posting a YouTube video on Twitter is a well known sign in Brentford circles that a new player is about to come to Griffin Park. The only problem with these being that they normally require a doctorate in brain surgery in order to decode – even after you know the answer.

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Matthew posted this on Saturday evening

This one seems remarkably simple. David Gray singing ‘This Year’s love’. Surely there was more to this than Mathew’s intent to sign the Scottish full back?

His clues are never this simple. Sledge hammer like unsubtly just isn’t Matthew’s style.

Could this mark a new approach from our owner?  Transfer news being announced by a clue that even yours truly can unravel? Or is there a hidden message in there ?

I’ve not got the time to decipher David’s lyrics to try and find out whilst, being honest, nor would I want to. It’s for good reason the ‘Babylon’ singer is currently residing in popular music’s ‘Where Are They Now?’ files

As ever with Matthew, I’m sure the answer isn’t what it seems at first glance. It could be as simple as his having had a bet on Hibs to win the cup.

Then again, I’ll have my eyes on Brentford official this Monday. Just in case…..

And finally, as ever, The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download.  Should anybody want to go over this nonsense and relive these moments once more then you can do so now.

It has been a stunning few years. Here’s to more of the same.  We may have had a few lows (something about a penalty, the football village, the FA Cup, the pitch, the Marinus experiment) but there have been plenty more highs as the Bees made an unexpected challenge for the Premier League.

Thank you for reading.

Nick Bruzon