From the best shirt to the worst – with a video nod to Eric

Over the last 13 months since this column has been running, our reader may have realised I’m somewhat of a Brentford kit nerd. A quick search of this site with the word ‘kit’ will also show pieces on what we, our Championship rivals (and beyond) have worn. Likewise, some of the quirkier efforts through the ages. Hull City AFC and their tiger stripes, the Coventry City T, Spanish broccoli, beer and octopus designs being some of the best.

However, whilst reading a thread on GPG this morning in regards to Brentford shirt, it suddenly dawned on me. I’ve written about our best ever home and, equally, away shirt. There’s also been a piece published on what are, in my opinion, our worst ever away tops.

But I’ve never completed the story by talking about my least popular home effort. Until now.

By and large, our home kit has generally been pretty good over the years and so to compile a top ten or even top five would be, largely, a pointless exercise. That said, two do stand out for me and both are from recent years.

In second place is the 2012/13 effort. On the surface, I really liked this. Thick stripes, a decent shade of red and even a solitary touch of black on the shoulder was a nice touch. Then you turned it over.

Where were the stripes? Not only had they been removed ‘due to football league regulations’ (that, seemingly, Sheffield United were able to circumnavigate) but they’d been replaced by a teabag. Whilst the front of this was standard shirt material, the reverse was some sort of perforated ventex effort. It meant our female fans had their bra straps on display whilst it gave all of us the chance of gaining a polka dot sun tan.

As for the stick on ‘Skyex’ sponsor patch. It was the first appearance of this much maligned piece of low budget kit design – a trend that has continued into the Adidas regime and blighted their, otherwise, sterling efforts.

2012/13 – Fantastic front but that horrible, horrible back. No stripes; just teabags

But that’s nothing, to me, on the previous season’s effort. 2011/12 is, in my opinion, the most awful of all the shirts we’ve ever had.

It’s not just that there are too many red stripes, relative to a classic Brentford shirt, yet not enough to bring it into the cult territory of the ‘funky bee’ 1989 centenary effort. Although that’s a poor start.

Then chuck in the black collars. They’re floppy!!? Think Eric Cantona, but after a few too many Kronebourgs.

The only point of a collar on a football shirt is so as you can stand it up – preferably just at the point of entering ‘Saunder’s territory’. Nothing is more likely to put the wind up the opposition than a midfielder with a known eye for goal, making this final adjustment before striking a free kick.

Cantona shows how a collar, if it has to be incorporated into a football kit, should be treated.

 

So we have too many stripes and a pathetic collar but the ultimate crime is the red shoulder patches and double black trim. Adidas have their famous three stripes, so Puma decide to copy this but go one less. Why?

It’s an awful choice and this entire upper makes us look like hotel doormen. Perhaps some people like it but, personally, I won’t even have this one in my collection.

Talk about Puma seeing out their contract in style. Or lack of .

2011/12 – Marcel Eger models my worst ever Brentford shirt

Advertisement

There’s a fine line between quirky and ridiculous

We will get to Brentford but first, Spanish football and the new Cultural Leonesa shirt. If you hadn’t heard of them before then don’t worry, nor had I, but they’ve certainly made a name for themselves with what is possibly the most ridiculous shirt ever.

I hadn’t planned on even giving this the time of day but, such is the impact it seems to have had amongst several of the ‘Last Word’ readership that perhaps I am alone in loathing this? For reasons unknown, they’ve chosen to go for a ‘comedy’ tuxedo-effect design.

Why???

Don’t get me wrong, I love a quirky kit and Spain seem to rule when it comes to these. This season has already seen splendid efforts from Deportivo Lugo – with their lager top (presumably a link to the sponsor) and the Octopus emblazoned fifth kit – although only room for two arms. Likewise, last campaign saw La Hoya Lorca scoop the honours with their broccoli inspired outfit.

At least those two teams were able to call on , albeit tenuous, links to their region’s heritage and sponsor but, short of an Andrew Sachs ‘Spanish Waiter’ tribute (and Leon’s not even that close to Barcelona) , I don’t get the Leonesa effort .

Quirky kits CAN work

As ever, if in doubt take your lead from 007. I love the Roger Moore James Bond films but this pun filled rickshaw chase from Octopussy has to be proof that the Tuxedo and sport (tennis, in this instance) should never mix)

 

Getting back to TW8, this weekend see the first home friendly against Nice on Saturday. It’ll be great to catch the team in action at Griffin Park and then, the following day, to actually meet them.

Sunday sees the annual ‘Family Open Day’ where all the players will be in attendance. This is always a great event and you never know what will happen – last season a chance encounter with Buzz and Buzzette end up on the ‘family ticket’ flier.

Buzzette looking radiant, as ever

The big draw this time round seems to be also centered around kit. Not only will the away shirt be officially launched (I’d still love the club to have gone for a ‘Blackburn style video’) but anybody wearing the new home shirt will have the chance to participate in one large team photo.

As yet, there’s no word on whether tuxedos will be allowed. I doubt it.

And if you can’t wait for the new season, why not catch up on the last one? ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s 2013/14 promotion campaign, amongst other football related chatter) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from last season, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

 

A 5-1 win, shirt news and who had an unusual pet?

Brentford continued preparation for life in the Championship with a 5-1 win over Barnet on Tuesday night. The score speaks for itself although hopefully the missed penalty (and I blame myself for bigging up Mr. Reliable less than a week ago) will get less mention than that other one, which certain areas of the media (i.e. all of them) saw fit to mention a few times (i.e. every week) last season.

The club site has the full match report for those that didn’t catch it live or on Beesplayer. You can find it here. However, for me there were a few other things to catch the eye yesterday.

Being a shirt geek, I was pleased to see that the trend of the club releasing quality kits this season has continued with the latest in the retro range. Mark Devlin released pictures to twitter yesterday of retail manager Maz holding up what appears to be a variant on the 1974-75 top. Black cuffs, long sleeves and the castle badge are all present in what will make the battle for my ‘shirt budget’ this year an even harder fought one than before.

Coming soon to a club shop near you

I really am a fan of the castle badge – it was the one on the shirt when I first started watching the Bees – and so was always sad when it was replaced in the mid 90’s by the current effort. The turreted shield made no real sense to me as to how it tied into the club but, regardless, it has always been synonymous with Brentford.

That said, it will still be going some to beat the latest efforts from Spanish outfit, Deportivo Lugo. With Espanyol no longer visiting next week, I’d have paid good money to see Lugo named as our new opponents – sporting either their Octopus shirt or lager…top.

I like the castle but I love the octopus

The other thing to catch my eye was the search for a picture of Kenny Sansom in Brentford colours. He’d received a mention in yesterday’s article about new signings but I’d been unable to finds such an image on the interweb.

Thankfully, Ray Biggar has since come to the rescue (and that’s a line I never though I’d use about the chronologically challenged referee). Not only did the Notts County 1993 matchday programme (from ‘that game’) have a centre spread on the former England international but it also had a number of personal facts about the man himself.

If the media team are reading (you never know) then what chance the ‘player’s pets’ feature reappearing this season? Although I’d be impressed if any of the current team can better Kenny’s.

Kenny Sansom – as seen in the programme

And if you can’t wait for the big the new season, why not catch up on the last one? ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s 2013/14 promotion campaign, amongst other football related chatter) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from last season, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.