Tag Archives: Only fools and horses

Spend Christmas with Cliff, Jim White and maybe Victor

25 Dec

I’d like to start today by wishing a very happy Christmas to all Brentford fans and, indeed, any others who may be reading (you never know).

To be quite honest, I hadn’t even planned writing a column today until the stark realisation that I had forgotten to both clean the oven and dispose of Santa’s whisky / mince pie forced a somewhat premature rise.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

It's Christmas - I'm treating myself to the Tourjansky montage

It’s Christmas – I’m treating myself to the Tourjansky montage

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United’s ‘Greek Ruins’ offer Keane a chance for some sport relief.

26 Feb

As a Brentford supporter, the prospect of us suffering the same fate as Manchester United, stunned by Olympiakos in last night’s Champion’s League game, is probably still a few seasons away. At least, for now, the closest we’ll get to ‘European’ football at Griffin Park is being ‘The Barcelona of the lower leagues’.

Whilst I’d always hope to see our domestic clubs do well against their continental rivals, there’s a perverse pleasure from the ongoing decline of Manchester United. Fergie jumped ship at the right time and David Moyes is now finding it a lot trickier to pick up the pieces than probably even he imagined.

As entertaining, though, is the ‘Roy Keane’ show on ITV that accompanies our Tuesday night coverage.

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.

The season that keeps on giving – from Lineker to Lebouef (via Old Trafford)

23 Jan

With no League One action or Brentford news yesterday (beyond more idle speculation not worth dignifying with a comment) I was left to watch the Capital One Cup semi-final between Manchester United and Sunderland.

The result was a fantastic one for Sunderland – albeit after one of the worst penalty shootouts in recorded history. Three misses and only three on target, out of ten taken, is woeful from two Premiership teams. But then so is the decline of Manchester United. Watching them trying to break down the Black Cats reminded me of a weak kitten trying, and failing, to bust its way out of a damp paper bag.

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.

Dear BBC. Please don’t do it, however good the cause

22 Jan

Brentford haven’t even faced this Friday’s trial by TV against Gillingham yet already our next ‘on air’ encounter has been announced.

Not surprisingly the visit to, current, League One top dogs Leyton Orient has been brought forward to accommodate our friends at Sky. Thankfully, from some respects (the boat crew may not agree), rather than a shift to Friday night it remains on March 15th but is now a lunchtime kickoff.

Realistically, this was always going to happen. Brentford and Leyton Orient are the top two sides in League One and so this could end up being a real six-pointer (along with a chance for Sky to crank out all those East meets West type lines).

To me, it makes no difference. The number of travelling supporters will, one would imagine, remain largely the same regardless of 12.15 or 3.00. It’s too big a game  – it can’t be too often you say that about Leyton Orient  v Brentford!

Interestingly, chief executive Mark Devlin took to twitter immediately after the announcement to discuss ticketing and canvass opinion. It seems we have a choice between an allocation of 1600 or 3700. The former figure, surely too low, but is the top whack optimistic?

In my opinion, no. It’s a table-topping clash and Leyton Orient IS an easy away ground to get too. If you aren’t taking the boat trip then its simply a case of jumping on the Central line at Ealing Broadway and putting your feet up for an hour – not literally, keep those seats clean please.

The other TV news yesterday was one which, being honest, upsets me somewhat. The BBC have announced that David Beckham is to appear in a one-off return of Only Fools and Horses.

I loved this show when it was originally shown – although I think we’ve all seen the clip of Del Boy in the bar perhaps once too often (spoiler alert – he falls over). However, it’s not been on for over a decade and for good reason – it ended on a high whilst the cast are, to be polite, getting on a bit.  It’s going to be impossible to resist a trip down memory lane and take a look but I fear a car crash. Moreso, when you then add Mr Beckham into the mix.

Image

The BBC have announced the return of Del Boy and…David Beckham

The man who singlehandedly secured the 2012 Olympics for Great Britain loves doing his public bit and, with this in aid of Sport Relief, it’s natural he’ll be involved. But a good cause doesn’t necessarily justify resuscitating the long dead corpse of one of the nation’s favourite programmes.

Equally, everybody knows  – footballers can’t act.

We’ve all seen Figo doing his ‘Just for men’, the classic ‘Escape to Victory’ (“We can win this”), Eric Cantona is currently masquerading as a French farmer but the king acting stinker is, of course, Vinnie Jones.

To be fair, the former Wimbledon man set the bar high with his surprise debut in ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’, but its been downhill since there. Very much a case of the law of diminishing returns, he was single handedly responsible for destroying X-Men: The Last Stand whilst has also flexed his acting muscles in a range of films that includes ‘Swordfish’ and ‘Garfield: A Tail of two Kitties’.

Hey, I’ve no problem with a wooden, bad, actor. Just look at Jason Statham – a 21st century Steven Seagal. He does what he does, and does it very well. But, with footballers, it just stretches the bounds of entertainment that bit too far.

Sadly, things seem too late for Beckham and ‘Only Fools…’, judging by the publicity stills already published. I can only cross my fingers and hope we don’t have another Vinnie – ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ moment….