Bees come a sloppy second to Blackburn. Get me out of here…

Blackburn Rovers 3 Brentford 2. The scoreline does’t even begin to sum up a frustrating result after the Bees had taken the lead with barely half a minute of the game gone. That we then conspired to present our hosts with three goals (and no complaints about them for taking their chances – you can only put away what is in front of you) is something out of character with the Bees and hugely disappointing.

Equally, though, with still almost an hour to play at 3-2 down Brentford had plenty of time to salvage something. Instead, the records will show that we managed 3 shots on target all game.

Listen, I’ve no issue with holding up my hands and knowing when we’ve not deserved a thing. Look at our last home game, against Fulham, and then look away fast. There was no creativity and nothing to inspire. At least this time Dean loaded his team for attack, gave Romaine Sawyers a break for the first time this season and it paid immediate dividends. Lasse Vibe releasing Scott Hogan who sprung the offside trap and ran clear on goal to make it 1-0 Brentford after a mere 33 seconds.

Likewise, Hogan’s second, to level things up at 2-2, was the culmination of a beautiful move around the Blackburn midfield that ended with the striker taking his total to ten Championship goals for the season. With parity restored at 2-2 after just a half hour, and headline writers preparing the phrase ‘goal fest’ surely we were back in the driving seat? But no. Sloppiness followed just as sloppiness had preceded.

Sam Gallagher had been earmarked as the man to watch prior to this one but it was Danny Graham who took advantage of the huge holes in the Brentford defence to equalise on the quarter hour. It was marking that would have embarrassed a league two club, let alone a tier two Championship team, and the goal machine made no mistake. Five minutes later, he’d doubled his tally and given the home side the lead from the penalty spot. It looked a pretty innocuous challenge on the TV in what were slippery conditions – just check out the skid marks – but referee Chris Kavanagh had no hesitation and the penalty was dispatched perfectly.

Bees hit the skids – did snow trail make it look worse than it was?

As for the winning goal though. The tales of Brentford centre-backs putting it past their own goalkeeper are legion. I’m not going to moan at Harlee Dean – the defensive o.g. has happened so many times before and will no doubt happen again. Indeed the biggest crime was even giving the ball away in the first instance, with the Bees in a very safe position on the half way line and taking it forward. Suddenly we were under pressure and paid the ultimate price as the ball was swept into the box.

Those of us watching back home could only mutter under the breath as this one popped up on the Sky Sports scrolly thing. Those of us wearing anoraks could only smile at the thought of Renton scoring in Edinburgh. At least one team displaying a lust for life there.

The highlights of this one are on Sky now. Alternatively, if you prefer to see whether Mark Burridge and the team can salvage anything from the game, then there are double length highlights on Bees Player now we’ve got past the 12pm curfew.

Is it any better with Mark at the helm?

As for any more of an in-depth report,  regular readers know the drill. The BBC, Brentford official or Beesotted are your places. When even official lead with : Lasse vibe on “sloppy” defeat to Blackburn Rovers then it’s fairly safe to know what you are going to get.

Besides, yours truly wasn’t even allowed anywhere near Channel 5 for the highlights last night, with the remote control having been commandeered for watching Carol Vordeman (who seems to have been rebuilt more than the Brentford defence) and Danny Baker subtly attempting to wind up a daytime TV property ‘expert’.

An act which, if we’re being honest, they largely succeeded at under the watchful eyes of Ant and Dec. If only we’d had such acumen but alas it wasn’t to be. Then again, the thought of Harlee making a meal of pig’s anus or Sam Saunders standing in an oversized fish tank with an eel merging from his shorts are not the sort of images I particularly want so perhaps we park that analogy here, with apologies.

Can there be any positives from that? And by which I mean the Blackburn game rather than ‘I’m a celebrity’… ? Well, you have to start with two wonderfully taken goals. Scott Hogan is now in double figures in the Championship, level with Glenn Murray and just one behind Dwight Gayle at Newcastle United.With the Repulic of Ireland reportedly sniffing around, he is very much the ‘man of the moment’ in the Championship. January could be stressful..

Equally, at least, we can sleep that bit easier knowing that the media team won’t be dusting off the #Novemberkings moniker which was so cringe worthily chucked around during our first Championship season.

Beyond that though, it is a case of slim pickings. On a snowy day we weren’t even granted that rare treat of an orange ball. Instead, the mid-winter yellow version is deemed sufficient and I fear that really could be it now for this nostalgic favourite. Unless, of course, the FA Cup can produce something magical.

Is the combination of snow and orange ball now a thing of the past?

So what next for the Bees? A win would be nice, for one thing. That wonderful victory over QPR has been our only real bright spark in a 7(seven) game run that has otherwise seen four defeats and two 0-0 draws.

Tablewise, we are now just into the bottom half. Five points shy of the play-off zone and six ahead of the basement clubs. With Blackburn, Wigan and surely doomed Rotherham United (already 11 points and vastly inferior goal difference off safety) still occupying those places, that’s not even a situation worth contemplating .

Yet, equally, complacency won’t win you games or keep you up. Look at Newcastle United last season. And Aston Villa. No club is too safe or too big to go down. Keep losing and that’ll happen. Not anything to worry about for now, that’s for sure, but a swift return to winning ways will be a good thing.

As the interview with Dean Smith on Brentford official noted:

Next Saturday The Bees return to Griffin Park to host Gary Rowett’s Birmingham City with Dean saying that he wants to see a response after consecutive losses.

“Next week’s game takes on extra importance because, after back to back defeats, we have to bounce back,” said Dean. “

Never a truer word and so important it had to be mentioned twice..

Nick Bruzon

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The two most beautiful words in footballing parlance are back.

There are just two words to mention today for Brentford fans. You’d be forgiven for thinking these are Leeds and Barnsley. This, after their respective 90th minute goals in the latest round of fixtures denied three points for Fulham and turned a plucky away draw into a glorious defeat for QPR. You could even have Shane Duffy in mind after the Blackburn defender has endured what could be politely called a ’torrid’ a start to the season. But you’d be wrong. For me, it’s all about the most beautiful piece of alliteration in the English language…. Terrace Talk.

Yes, football’s most brilliant feature is back. And this time Sean Ridley is in charge.

To read the rest of this article, season 2016/17 is now available for download on e-book in the retrospective: Welcome Home, King Jota (Brentford FC season review 2016/17)
 
Priced at just £1.99, all sales are being donated to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust.

Likewise any sales from the previous titles – Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup (2013/14), Tales from the football village (2014/15) and Ready. Steady. Go Again. (2015/16) – are also now going to the BFCCST.

Containing the least bad of the blogs from May 16 to May 17, you can pick it up, here. Its all for a great cause and,hey, you may even enjoy it…..

The BBC table doesn’t lie (Although will tell a more accurate story after 10 games)

 

Jo – Queen of the TT ‘walk and talk’

Nick Bruzon

Crazy capers, Christmas jumpers and Paul McCartney (kind of)

With Brentford set to play Fulham on Saturday, I was reminded of a simple yet wonderful truth. “Caper is a stunning word”. Not my quote (although certainly sentiments I agree with) but those of one New Road wag with whom I was discussing the forthcoming game. A discussion which led, at a tangent, to popular music’s Wu-Tang Clan and from there to an abhorrent video coming out of QPR, which we’ll get to shortly.

Fans of the group (Wu-Tang Clan, not QPR) will, I am sure, be aware of their ‘Once Upon A Time In Shaolin’ album. A 31 track effort of which there has only been one copy ever produced and that sold at auction for USD2million to drugs baron (in a medical sense) Martin Shkreli.

However, the story took a bizarre turn on Thursday when an alleged clause in the sale contract, detailing how the group could regain possession of their record, was made public. Specifically via the medium of legally planning and attempting “to execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon A Time In Shaolin.”

Is this for real? Who cares .

I don’t know what the best part of this is. Bill Murray? The stunning use of brackets? Or just the phrase “ execute one (1) heist / caper” ? Truly, a pair of words more commonly associated with slapstick comedies or trashy crime thrillers.

The byproduct of reading this was my thinking more about how I could crowbar either one into today’s article. And with Brentford and Fulham about to meet at The Cottage once more, a cheap bit of photoshoppery and sledgehammer like unsubtlety, in combination with the aforementioned comedy, seemed the obvious solution.

For once, PG isn’t Peter Gilham …

Coming soon to a stadium near you?

As for QPR, words fail me…

Whilst Alan Partridge may have famously noted, “ Wings – the band that The Beatles could have been”, nobody deserves to be treated this badly.

I’d recommend you don’t press play. Not even in an ironic sense. Words can’t describe just how toecurlingly bad this is . Where’s Keith Stroud and his red card when you need him?

You have been warned. Watch this at your own risk

That wasn’t the only video to see the light of day on Thursday. Griffin Park, so often the location for film crews needing a local football ground, has starred again.

This time in a promotional film for Sky Sports and their coverage of Football League fixtures over the Christmas period. Given their spannering of my trip to Brighton, I shouldn’t really be over indulging in their promotion but there are a number of aspects that caught my interest.

Primarily, as one observer on the Ealing Road has pointed out, Kurt and the marketing chaps really have taken Peter Gilham’s much touted new public address system to ridiculous levels.

“This is Brentford Control…”

Then, of course, there is an appearance from another familiar face in Brentford circles. And I don’t mean Jeff Stelling who, to the best of my knowledge, has never had any involvement with the Bees or our fans – certainly beyond a squeal of excitement as we locked horns with his beloved Hartlepool back in October 2012.

That, a game which saw a brace from Paul Hayes – his first goals for the Bees – before Tony Craig rescued a point for the Monkeyhangers with a 90^th minute own goal. Grown men wept. Others just reached for the vodka bottle as Brentford conspired to snatch a 2-2 draw from the jaws of certain victory – Harlee Dean having previously helped the visitors along by scoring their first (own) goal.

Still, I digress. There aren’t any prizes on offer for figuring out that, of course, Brentford super fan Natalie Sawyer is also donning her best Christmas jumper for this one.

Who doesn’t like a Christmas jumper?

And if you’d like to see more of Jeff, Natalie and Griffin Park all doing their thing then the full video is below. Although Sky, don’t think I’m any happier about Brighton.

That said, it still beats QPR’s attempt to sleigh Paul McCartney.

Nick Bruzon

How keyboard warriors missed the point

Forty-eight hours after Fulham were beaten by Brentford in the Championship , their keyboard warriors were still fighting a desperate rearguard action to try and salvage some pride from Friday’s derby defeat.

If it makes the Cottagers feel better then good luck to them. That said, if you fancy a smile then do go and check out some of the remaining comments from Saturday morning’s post game review. Personally, I’ve better things to do than continue trying to reason with opinion so blinkered and out of touch with the current landscape that it would be more suited to a North Korean propaganda leaflet.

If anything it has made me realise, even more, just how much Friday’s win meant. To both sides.

Having thrown away their chance of two local games after last season’s capitulation denied them the Chelsea and QPR showdowns, Brentford were their only hope of winning such a fixture. And Fulham weren’t even close to coming second.

I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t have been upset had we lost but, at the same time, winning was a sweet, sweet feeling. Especially doing so in such fashion. That said, there’s a lot of hilarious comment on twitter and certain fan sites referring to this as our ‘cup final’.

That’s as patronising as it is bitter. Who wouldn’t want to win a local derby? Who wouldn’t celebrate a win over their neighbours? Who wouldn’t get excited about climbing to just one point off the top of the table?

This is nothing to do with perceived club size or our respective teams’ past successes but, simply, current season form and a fine victory in a local derby.

And it WAS fine, with Brentford having totally dominated the game to the extent that, per the BBC, we had almost two thirds of the possession. In layman’s terms, that just means our opponents didn’t get near the ball for an hour.

Brentford had hold of the ball for an hour. The BBC stats don’t lie

After Russell Slade’s sour grapes last season (also in a local derby) I didn’t think we’d be revisiting this territory so soon. The source may be different but the effect is much the same. And that speaks volumes about what Friday meant.

Anyway, that’s me just about done on this subject. Banter is close to getting out of hand and so, for now, I’ll leave Fulham (who are only one win clear of the bottom three) to whatever ambitions they have.

As for The Bees, I make no apologies for ‘bigging up’ Brentford on this Brentford related site. Billy Reeves nailed it later, noting about those ‘away’ fans who’d got upset: “That’s like criticising an autobiography for being self-centred...”

Well said that man.

BBC viewers got an extra viewing of the game on Saturday’s FLS

Football League Show provides another season highlight

With Brentford having a Championship day off on Saturday after demolishing Fulham on Friday night, our supporters were left to see if anyone would overtake the newly fourth placed Bees. Wolves, next up at Griffin Park, were the feature team on the BBC Football League show whilst Warbs, with time on his hands, was Manish’s studio guest. And as for Clemwatch, it gave us a chance to resume our scientific study as Charlton Athletic hosted the albatross of the roving reporting world.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Even the London flood barrier fails to hold back Clem’s deluge of poor results

Brentford 2 Fulham 1. Can it get any better?

Hugh Grant. Daniel Radcliffe. Keith Allen. Possibly Lily Allen. Are you listening? Our Brentford gave your Fulham one hell of a beating.

Like celebrity Cottager Richard Osman, Brentford left Fulham ‘Pointless’ on Friday night as the Bees stormed to fourth place in the Championship, one point off the top of the table, after an incredible stoppage time win.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Brazil 1 ITV 0 (and more Brentford shirt news)

News of a stunning piece of Brentford memorabilia up for sale in a moment but we can only start with the World Cup in Brazil.

It’s now the morning after the night before and Brazil have got their first points on the board, running out as 3-1 winners over Croatia. I really enjoyed the game although if you want the full report go to the BBC or some other reputable source. Suffice to say it was all a bit Brentford – Marcelo scoring (albeit an o.g.), a disputable penalty and a last minute goal.

I now declare this wall chart, open

 

The downside was the ITV coverage. The build up from the panel was as lifeless as the Copacabana backdrop to their studio. The locals clearly forsaking the normally crowded beach to be near a TV. Hopefully their feed was better than ours as Adrian Chiles struggled to get going without the spark of Roy Keane. The banter between Lee Dixon, Fabio Cannavaro and Patrick Vieira was as awkward, and painful, as a teenager on a first date.

Two points of note once the game started. Firstly, the score graphic. It was enormous. This was no discreet logo, tucked away in the top left corner and was a real distraction. Come on ITV, sort it out. It was as unsubtle and distracting as a poisonous wart on the end of the aforementioned teenager’s nose.

As for the commentary, we still await the first outing of that World Cup staple, “For those of you just coming in from work, the score is….” . Perhaps 9pm is a bit late for that one but I’m hoping the five o’clock kick off between Mexico and Cameroon sees the classic line trotted out. With any luck the oversized graphic isn’t deemed an adequate replacement.

These small whines aside I can’t wait for things to really get going now, with Friday seeing the first of the tournament’s triple-headers. Grab the remote and get ready to start working on that butt groove in the sofa.

Getting back to matters Griffin Park, there is an incredible item for sale on the eBay auction site at the moment. None other than Bob Taylor’s fully signed and framed shirt from the 1997 play off final against Crewe.

Whilst we won’t talk about what happened in that game, this is still a one off opportunity to get hold of a unique piece of Brentford history. I’ve got more chance of being selected for the ITV football panel than of being allowed to bid for this but, hopefully, one Brentford fan could be very happy by Sunday lunchtime.

You can bid here.

Your chance to own the shirt off a Brentford legend’s back