Tag Archives: Scott Parker

Don’t shoot the messenger. This is worse than Barrymore rapping.

29 Sep

Ring, ring. Ring, ring’. Is that the sound of the telephone in the Parker household? (Thanks, Uncle Justin). One does have to wonder after Monday’s results. Now let’s be clear I take no pleasure in the following facts but with Brentford due to host Fulham on Thursday in the fourth round of the league cup, it’s only natural we look at our next opponents and their current form. Hey, it’s what we do on these pages. Albeit your definition of ‘form’ may vary after last night’s latest defeat. This time to Aston Villa and one which prompted a quite awkward act of self-flagellation from Tony Khan. A man who, per his own Twitter bio, currently has more jobs than the rest of the country put together: Owner/Director of Football/GM/Sporting Director. Perhaps a bit of focus may be in order.

Played three. Lost three. Points nil. Goal difference -7 (minus seven). It’s hardly an auspicious start to a league campaign which has already seen bookmaker Paddy Power paying out on anybody who has invested in Fulham being relegated this season. Don’t shoot the messenger, that’s a fact. Even by their attention grabbing headlines, three games seems somewhat early but the bookies very rarely get it wrong.

Don’t shoot the messenger – this was the offer last night

The resulting act of public humiliation Fulham owner Khan then embarked upon was about as toe-curling as the Michael Barrymore gospel choir clip currently doing the rounds on social media. Rapping as brutal as The Cottager’s defence ; the tune changing key as often as Fulham do managers. Hey, it’s a fact.

Desperately looking for salvation, he (Tony Khan rather than Barrymore) took to Twitter to declare:

I apologize to @FulhamFC supporters for our performance tonight. We’ve looked to add centre-backs since Wembley, I’m sorry we haven’t yet as 2 got COVID + we lost a Free we thought was close + had another issue with a 4th CB. I promise players in + better efforts from this squad.

I should + will apologize repeatedly for that performance. I’m sorry everybody. We all need to do a better job. Everyone at the club for the past year worked really hard to get the team up, & now we need to work significantly harder to stay up. I promise better efforts than today.”

Cripes. He may aswell have added “We go again” for the full house. It got the expected reaction from a fan base with very short memories. Their last stint in the top flight saw a similar record and three different managers in the one season before relegation – Slaviša Jokanović, Claudio Ranieri and Scott Parker all had a go at keeping the ship afloat before, they sank beneath the Thames. Now we’re less than a month in and they already look fatally holed below the waterline. Again.

And yes. We all know what happened at Wembley. That’s also a fact. Well done. Well done everyone. A tactical masterclass in shithousery that has somewhat blown up now and cruelly exposed the lack of depth available. And I’m sorry that’s a fact. Even Brentford have despatched two more Premier League teams than Fulham have this season and we’re not even in the same division. That’s two by the way. Compared to none.

With Brentford looking to reach the fifth round of the League Cup on Thursday night, the Cottagers anti-form couldn’t have come at a better time. No doubt their supporters will claim the tournament an irrelevance in the build up then give it large should they triumph. Fair enough. Yet for the Bees this is an excellent opportunity to keep our own form going. To give those players from the squad a chance to step up and mix it with the first team. Thomas Frank has got that balance bang on so far and I expect more of the same on Thursday.

Marcus Forss will be coming at the bit for another go up top. The chance to lay down a real gauntlet at the feet of Ivan Toney. The same goes for the likes of Charlie Goode, Tarique Fosu, Shandon Baptiste and David Raya. Might we even see Said Benrahma given a start after he came off the bench against Millwall? With the transfer window getting ever closer to finally creaking shut, Crystal Palace and Aston Villa are going to need to get their chequebooks into gear if the talismanic Algerian’s future lies away from Lionel Road.

Looking towards Lionel Road?

We love him. He’s amazing. His future surely lies in the top flight. Ideally with Brentford but who knows what may be. Looking backwards or too far forwards are fatal. Don’t rest on your laurels. Whatever has happened has happened. Wishing it away or fond reminiscing won’t change a thing. For Brentford it’s all about picking the best team to Fulham in the cup with half an eye on Preston in the league. Even that far ahead is only to consider the starting XI Thomas may pick on Thursday evening.

Focus on the game. Win it. Look at the current facts. Let the others resort to cheap shots or exposing their woes in public.

Brian Guest x

Marcus had a blinder in the previous round

Has the curse of 1904 just been lifted?

31 Jul

Brentford now know who we will face in Tuesday’s Championship play-off final. Wembley host an all West London affair featuring the Bees and Fulham. Tuesday night saw the Brentford back to their imperious best as Swansea were trounced by our blitzkrieg assault, sailing back to Wales on a river of their fans’ salty tears. Oh, that amazing video 😉 . Well played there by @SwanseaAnalyti1 , just in case there had been any doubt about the Swans’ first leg tactics. The Cottagers, meanwhile, limped through on the wrong end of a 2-1 home defeat by Cardiff City yesterday evening. Whilst they have the aggregate win, Scott Parker’s face afterwards said it all (not for the first time).

Tuesday night is going to be huge. We all know the financial implications of going up. We’re all looking for the ultimate in bragging rights. Brentford are currently the kings of West London football based on results between our teams this season. Confidence is high but this now boils down to one more game. One more assault. One more chance to show the world what this team is made of. Said Benrahma has just been named Championship player of the month for July but rather than being the jinx these things have been rumoured to be, has a curse been lifted?

Screenshot 2020-07-31 at 13.21.49

Back when Griffin Park became our home in 1904, a gypsy camp had to first be removed from the orchard on which it was built before work could begin in earnest (sound familiar?). Rumour has it that a curse was placed, saying the club would never amount to anything, or some such words, until we left. Well, with Swansea City being the final visitors then, as it stands, Brentford are technically now playing at Lionel Road. Our next game takes place on the neutral ground of Wembley and then we run out at the new stadium. As such, has the curse now been lifted?  

I for one, am saying yes. Based on no more scientific knowledge than blind optimism and a healthy respect for football tradition and jinx-factor. Orange balls MUST be used in the snow. Proper use of brackets after 7(seven). Extra strong mints mid-game. Haribo Star mix after goals have been scored. Never shave on a winning run. Never wash the lucky shirt. The same pants must be worn (the jury remains out on whether they should be washed) . Clem. As for Clem, well we could write a book on his powers – and if you’d like to read more……. 

Clem Barnsley Clemwatch 27

Clem – had his moments but has since turned the corner

Let’s hope it is the case, given our past form in the play-offs. Move along, nothing to see here. Quite literally. Instead, we’re all set for ninth time lucky. No amount of Matthew Benham urinating in the corners (hypothetically, I hope….) or the board sprinkling holy water in each goal mouth  – the two standard techniques for ‘curse removal’ – has so far resulted in us being able to take the ultimate step. So they’ve just done the next best thing and moved grounds.

Screenshot 2020-07-31 at 13.34.37

Griffin Park this week. Tread carefully in the corners.

Now, Kitman Bob has the needle and thread out. Dates and Teams are being added to shirts in that cup final tradition. Again, one which hasn’t worked that well for us in the past but who cares? All bets are now off. Everything is reset. We can start again. In theory, Wembley could become the happiest of hunting grounds. Don’t shoot the messenger….      

There’s a lot to talk about between now and Tuesday evening. For now, we’ve enjoyed the moment of Swansea but that’s been and gone. Just as we don’t dwell on Barnsley there’s nothing much to be gained by reflecting too much on the the good. All we can do is look forward. To know we are 90 minutes away from playing the biggest clubs in the land on a regular basis. And also Leeds United.

Bring it on.

Time for Bob to get his needle and thread out

Nick Bruzon