Thomas Frank’s Demolition Derby.

Well that was something else. Brentford tanked Derby County in a game that finished 3-0 and could easily have seen the scoreline double that. It really was as dominant a performance as one could hope for against a team who, back to full strength after their mid-week changes against Nottingham Forest in the cup (that worked well), offered nothing. Their manager Philip Cocu would afterwards accuse his team of ‘arrogance’. It looked more like impotence to me, with the Rams unable to penetrate as the Bees ran riot.

Raining (goals) at Griffin Park

Brentford were boosted by the news that Saïd Benrahama was finally able to start a game. What a performance he put in. But then you could say the same for Bryan Mbuemo on the right and Sergi Canos coming from the wing back position. With Rico pushing high on the other side  it really was about as attacking a team one could expect to see. Topping it off was Ollie Watkins in centre forward role. Norgaard and Jenssen are becoming stronger and stronger in the middle whilst the final three of Jeanvier, Pontus and Dalsgaard were rock solid in the rare moments of the visitors breaking through. David Raya was in goal but it could have been David Bowie and we’d probably still have kept a clean sheet.

Mbuemo got the first on 17, after Watkins had been denied whilst the favour was returned just 60 second later. Ollie sliding home after a wonderful move. Mbuemo supplying the killer pass but don’t underestimate the work performed by Sergi Canos in either goal. He was magnificent. Devastating. Destructive. Left the Rams tied up in knots.

That it was only three at half time is a question to rank alongside where the Derby County of last season have gone. Back to their parent clubs from loans, perhaps ? Either way, there was no answer to the waves of relentless Brentford pressure. Ollie wrapped up the scoring before going in for his half-time cuppa but the Bees could equally have had a penalty after Keogh was adjudged not to have handballed it. Hmmm. Move along Derby, nothing to see here.

📺 Bryan Mbeumo off the mark!

Watch full highlights of yesterday's victory 👉 https://t.co/MOoZT43CYV#BREDER | #BrentfordFC pic.twitter.com/5nvSL5XCPX

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) September 1, 2019

The second half continued as the first had ended. Bees on top. Derby nowhere. To be fair, they did have a shot but Raya had it covered. And that was it from the visitors. If anything Brentford could, probably should, have made it at least four. If not more. Mbuemo seemed clean through with the goal gaping although the benefit of hindsight and TV show the good work done by Roos in the County goal. Likewise, when Ollie found himself sprinting clear for the hat-trick chance. Keeper Roos came bouncing out of the box to chest it away.

The return of dancing Buzzette and Saïd had the crowd buzzing from the off. The enthusiasm was tangible. Whether Peter Gilham almost exploding as he announced the second goal through to Benrahama’s post-substitution long walk back to the dugouts, whipping up the home fans behind the goal to further heights of excitement. And there he was at full time once more, taking HB’s request for a selfie into something quite unexpected. The positivity coursing through the team a joy to behold. The relationship with the supporters as strong as ever.

Saïd helps HB take the search for the perfect selfie to the next level.

Thomas Frank noted at full time that “The first 45 minutes is one of the best I have seen at Griffin Park since I have been here”. There can’t be any out there who would disagree. The second wasn’t bad either, although could never compare to the explosive opener. Had one of those other chances gone in then who knows what might have been. However, to be anything but happy with such a comprehensive win over opponents who came so close to reaching the top flight last time out would be churlish. County weren’t even at the races. Brentford, like a champion derby winner.

The month has ended with Brentford recording wins over Derby and up at Middlesbrough. I’m still bamboozled by the points dropped against Birmingham City whilst we were a lick of paint away from maintaining our recent domination of Leeds United. Ollie is looking more and more comfortable up top whilst I’m loving Bryan Mbuemo. Here’s hoping September picks up where August left off.

Men of the moment. Sergi and Ollie needed for a full house

Nick Bruzon

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Noooo! Fulham have only gone and done it.

Brentford have a day off on Saturday. FA Cup capitulation at the hands of Chelsea (a game where we put in a performance that was very much the Murray Jones to their Dean Holdsworth) sees us now kicking our heels. Just a few miles up the road, however, near neighbours Fulham are in cup action. They entertain Tottenham on Sunday.

It is a game which made me sit up and take notice yesterday, but for a very wrong reason. At a time when Donald Trump is beating all comers hands down in the apparently deranged stakes  (his explanation of what uranium is has me intrigued, yet genuinely terrified, about what his next bit of amateur science might be), he seems to have a rival. The Fulham club shop.

This is probably my favorite part so far pic.twitter.com/n61y5I8UrN

— Rachel Riederer (@readerer) February 16, 2017

Bear in mind this is the club that has already brought you ‘The Neutral stand’ and ‘The Gin bar’. A club who introduce ‘clackers’  and ‘giant foam fingers’ to try and help the home fans generate some atmosphere. Then, of course, there was that business with the Michael Jackson statue. Yet even by their previously odd standards, they have now gone ‘full Trump’.

What is the most scorned thing about modern football? Tourists on a day trip to Chelsea or Old Trafford? Grown men in full kit on a match day ? ‘Hilarious’ shirt names (I 8 Spurs etc  I don’t, for the record)? Selfie-sticks?

All are bad and yet one thing still transcends them all. The half and half scarf. There is no logical reason as to how this has sprung up or why any football fan of sound mind would buy one. Who wants memorabilia celebrating another team? Who wants to wear the opposition colours? Let alone in this most happy-clappy of styles? Over priced and cheaply produced tat. Something so offensive that no self-respecting club has even embraced previously. Up until now these abhorrent items have only been available from the street hawkers.

Up until now being the key phrase. Because, of course, Fulham have stepped forward. With this. Officially. In their official club shop.

I may be late to this party but I don’t care. Irony goes full circle as Fulham break the fourth wall. Get your official half and half scarf. This has to be a joke? Surely? Would any self-resecting club really do this ?

Part of me hopes that Matt Jeffrey is just a fake twitter ID, playing a very long game in order to spoof the hapless Cottagers. Yet with over 1500 tweets already, and seemingly all the right credentials, he looks legitimate. And he is encouraging his Fulham fans to wear a Spurs scarf. Or, at least, half of one.

You know what, I hope they win. Genuinely. For no other reason than one can’t even begin to imagine what their marketing team will dream up for the quarter finals.

Half and half shirts, here we come….

Nick Bruzon

Selfie heaven ; football hell. Unbeaten April comes to an end

Hull City AFC 2 Brentford 0 . A hectic April finally saw the Bees losing a game and we approach month end sitting 10th in the Championship table. A possible 8th position still beckons although surely, now, focus will only be on a local derby win over Fulham at Griffin Park this Saturday. Which, of course, is definitely our final game of the month. Definitely. Hull being the penultimate (regardless of what you may have read earlier).

Certainly, the team line up suggested that we might have more than an eye on the West London derby with both Lasse Vibe and Scott Hogan rested whilst John Swift returned to a side that had gone on that wonderful run in his absence.

I wasn’t there. Neither were most of us. You know the drill about where to find match reports by now. Instead, it was Bees Player and the alternative BBC (Burridge, Brett, Chapman) for me.

That said, 214 hardy souls did make the journey with the majority of them looking out for Peter Gilham. Kitman Bob Oteng using his latest ‘BBGiveaway’ to put three pairs of player boots on offer for anybody getting a ‘selfie’ alongside our man ‘with the mic’.

Here’s hoping PG was given due notice of his impending popularity. Otherwise I can only imagine him left very much confused by an even more heightened level of terrace idolatry. If there’s any justice, Twitter user @Beesbanter is surely going to feature amongst the winners for sheer comedy value alone.

Surely this effort has to be worth a pair of boots, Bob ?

So what can we say about the game?

Harlee hit a screamer (sadly in the wrong end) and Mohamed Diame doubled the lead on half time. In between, David Button saved a penalty (an almost carbon copy of Scott Hogan’s recent effort against Bristol City) to give the Bees hope. Sadly it wasn’t to be.

The second half sounded what we’ll politely call ‘pedestrian’. Sky’s match report notes that it “took longer to get going than the first,” whilst their highlight’s package cuts straight to interviews with Steve Bruce after the first period.

Mark Burridge’s use of classic World Cup line, “For those of you just coming in from work” was probably the standout moment. Then again, I get excited by brackets. However,  despite our best efforts there was no chance of that famous Bob Booker inspired 7(seven) – 2 scoreline being repeated.

Indeed, the thoughts of the two observers whose opinions I value more than any others, BBC Billy Reeves and the aforementioned commentator par-excellence, say it all:

Instead, its all about Fulham now. Changes will, surely, come to the team with the likes of Lasse and maybe even Scott straight back into the starting XI? Will three starts in a week prove too much for the brilliant Sergi Canos whilst what about John Swift whom BBC Billy noted as “not having an impact”?

Jake Bidwell’s replacement during the second period does raise concerns. In a season dominated by Alan Judge and David Button,Captain Jake has very much been one of the unsung heroes in our team. Quietly going about his business and even weighing in with a few goals, here’s hoping all is good for Saturday.

Look. We lost. Well done Hull City. To be in 10th with just two games to go is, frankly, remarkable given the ups and downs we’ve seen this season. There have been some giddy highs and a lot of sickening lows.

No doubt we’ll get to those over the coming weeks and months. For now, though, there’s one more prize on offer.

Bragging rights over our West London rivals.

Fulham and QPR – we’re coming for you.

Nick Bruzon