Noooo! Fulham have only gone and done it.

Brentford have a day off on Saturday. FA Cup capitulation at the hands of Chelsea (a game where we put in a performance that was very much the Murray Jones to their Dean Holdsworth) sees us now kicking our heels. Just a few miles up the road, however, near neighbours Fulham are in cup action. They entertain Tottenham on Sunday.

It is a game which made me sit up and take notice yesterday, but for a very wrong reason. At a time when Donald Trump is beating all comers hands down in the apparently deranged stakes  (his explanation of what uranium is has me intrigued, yet genuinely terrified, about what his next bit of amateur science might be), he seems to have a rival. The Fulham club shop.

This is probably my favorite part so far pic.twitter.com/n61y5I8UrN

— Rachel Riederer (@readerer) February 16, 2017

Bear in mind this is the club that has already brought you ‘The Neutral stand’ and ‘The Gin bar’. A club who introduce ‘clackers’  and ‘giant foam fingers’ to try and help the home fans generate some atmosphere. Then, of course, there was that business with the Michael Jackson statue. Yet even by their previously odd standards, they have now gone ‘full Trump’.

What is the most scorned thing about modern football? Tourists on a day trip to Chelsea or Old Trafford? Grown men in full kit on a match day ? ‘Hilarious’ shirt names (I 8 Spurs etc  I don’t, for the record)? Selfie-sticks?

All are bad and yet one thing still transcends them all. The half and half scarf. There is no logical reason as to how this has sprung up or why any football fan of sound mind would buy one. Who wants memorabilia celebrating another team? Who wants to wear the opposition colours? Let alone in this most happy-clappy of styles? Over priced and cheaply produced tat. Something so offensive that no self-respecting club has even embraced previously. Up until now these abhorrent items have only been available from the street hawkers.

Up until now being the key phrase. Because, of course, Fulham have stepped forward. With this. Officially. In their official club shop.

I may be late to this party but I don’t care. Irony goes full circle as Fulham break the fourth wall. Get your official half and half scarf. This has to be a joke? Surely? Would any self-resecting club really do this ?

Part of me hopes that Matt Jeffrey is just a fake twitter ID, playing a very long game in order to spoof the hapless Cottagers. Yet with over 1500 tweets already, and seemingly all the right credentials, he looks legitimate. And he is encouraging his Fulham fans to wear a Spurs scarf. Or, at least, half of one.

You know what, I hope they win. Genuinely. For no other reason than one can’t even begin to imagine what their marketing team will dream up for the quarter finals.

Half and half shirts, here we come….

Nick Bruzon

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The good, the bad and the ugly. A week in football

Brentford have beaten Ipswich Town. Nottingham Forest await.  Aston Villa finally recorded a ‘w-i-n’. Something so rare it needs to be spelt out for confirmation that it really did happen. Newcastle United join Leeds in flirting with the relegation trapdoor whilst their latest conquerors, Huddersfield Town, join Bristol City and the Loftus Road mob join at the top of the table.

That’s the first two rounds of Championship action in a nutshell. Yet there has been so much more going on in the division and beyond. In the first of a new, regular feature for a Monday morning we look back at those things you might have missed from the world of social media.

We’ll start off at Griffin Park, naturally, where aside from the Bees recording that fine win there have been a few other things to keep your eye on.

Just how many phones mobiles does Josh McEachran actually own? And if just the one, why does he need so many personalised cases?

The Last Word isn’t the only one to have new, regular features . Over at Beesotted, the team have launched their latest, resplendent with it’s own hashtag (Billy, you know how much we love those on these pages).

Following on from a wonderful season opener with Kitman Bob (the club are so lucky to have somebody who interacts with the fans as openly as he does) it is the turn of Carl Hutchings to …#HangTheBeeJay

Dave, Billy and the team always provide great listening. This new bitesize feature is no exception. You can get it here for a quick blast on the way to work

There’s a new member to the Brentford family where the LGBeeT group have just launched on Twitter. In their own words, “We are LGBT+ Brentford FC fans – Join us, you don’t need to be LGBT, all friendly Bees fans are welcome!”

Good luck guys. I’ve signed up. And I’m loving that 21st Century Funky Bee. Whilst there’s only one true Funky Bee, this comes a very close second. Somebody should stick it on a T-shirt.

In the meantime, anybody wishing to take a look and add to your ‘follow list’ can do so here.

Move over Buzzette. There’s a new Funky Bee in town

Next on the Brentford front, we seem to have a few amateurs in the club shop. And Harlee Dean. Not on the playing front but more in the modelling side where the club’s decision to include supporters in the new shirt campaign has seen the next phase revealed.

This is included not from any narcissistic purpose but simply to highlight the stunning work the club did in their pre-season work. What great touch involving the fans in the reveal and publicity shots for our new shirt. Thank you again.

And finally in Brentford opinion, just how nice was it to have football back at Griffin Park?

Truing the corner of Lateward Road to see the fans enjoying the prematch atmosphere outside The Griffin always puts a little spring in the step. Ipswich provided great value, as ever. Here’s to Nottingham Forest on Tuesday.

Where’s Wally? Spot the Brentford fan

Away from Griffin Park, there has been just as much ‘other stuff’ happening.

Aston Villa seem to have forgotten they are now in the Championship. A gold medal to @Swan_1878 for putting the Villa Park outfit firmly back in their place.

Leeds United supporters are already worried they might not be in the Championship for much longer.Fortunately, there’s always somebody else to rely on.

Whilst down in League One, Charlton continue to make friends and influence. Aston Villa weren’t the only club to be put in their place this week. Whilst they were simply the beneficiaries of their own ego and a quick witted observer on Twitter, Charlton were owned by Cheltenham Town. On and off the pitch.

As the Addicks crashed out of the EFL Cup, the Cheltenham programme editor but his balls on the line to publish what so many supporters feel.

Then, just when it couldn’t get any worse for Charlton. It did.

And to compound the felony, they shot themselves in the foot with the leaked letter about behavioural contracts for supporters having the temerity to criticise the club on social media.

Fortunately, our own Chief Executive Mark Devlin has already confirmed this is not a route we’ve ever even considered.

Sanity prevails at Griffin Park.

 

England down but not (quite) out. At least Brentford shone.

I have to start with the World Cup and England being beaten by Uruguay. My one word match report: Suarez.

Whatever you say about England’s failings or those things we did well (erm, Wayne Rooney scored. A World Cup goal) the ultimate difference between the two teams was a world-class striker. Say what you want about him, and many have – including my own proclamation at 9am in the office that “Suarez is knackered – he won’t do anything tonight”, but the quality of his finishing and the timing of his runs was magnificent.

With the England defence less holding the line and more tied up in knots by it, twice he opened us up as easily though we were nothing more than a jar of caramel spread.

Poor Roy looked shell-shocked afterwards. Captain Steven Gerrard didn’t even face the cameras. But, are there any positives?

Firstly we are still in it. Unlike deposed champions Spain or Australia

We can still qualify for round 2. All we need is Italy to beat Costa Rica; England to beat Costa Rica; qualified Italy to beat a Uruguay side also in need of three points; goal difference to do us a favour.

Likewise, demoralised by defeat I didn’t stay up to sit through Japan and Greece drawing 0-0. That was an extra 90 minutes of sleep I wouldn’t ordinarily have had.

Best of all though, unless the ITV sound quality was as bad as their World Cup jingle (which sounds like a Nokia 3310 ring tone and must have taken all of ten seconds to come up with) Bernie Clifton and his ‘England Supporter’s band’ were nowhere in evidence. Being on the brink of going out is frustrating enough but then having to watch Suarez destroy us, sound tracked by a flaccid rendition of ’Love will tear us apart’, would have been a final kick in the knackers.

It could have been so much worse last night

Back at domestic level, earlier in the day the Brentford club shop held the launch of next season’s home shirt. This was another great event with players and Natalie Sawyer, amongst others, in attendance over the course of the afternoon and doing a great job on behalf of the club. As ever, they couldn’t be more welcoming.

The only thing missing was a ‘sneak peak’ at the away shirt….

England may be standing on the edge but at least anticipation for the forthcoming Championship season is cranking up nicely.

Proud dad takes his son shopping – not even I’ve got one of these shirts yet

(‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ The combined story of Brentford’s season  2013/14 – amongst other things –  is now available on kindle. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle )