Missing football? Go ‘Business on the top, party on the bottom’.

Urghh. Coronavirus and Covid 19. Brutal words to rank alongside: Mrs Browns Boys, Simply Red, Rail Replacement Bus Service and Team GB (It’s Great Britain and Northern Ireland) in delivering a sickening punch to the gut every time they are mentioned. The cessation of football being the least of our immediate concerns at present yet a huge impact for many. The morale boost of watching Brentford denied to us for an indefinite time period as we are all confined to quarters. 2000 fans having to get that live action ‘hit’ from watching Lewis Frampton representing the Bees in the #UltimateQuaranTeam Cup. Yet there are a couple of other ways to keep your team in mind – one which yours truly will be undertaking and one thanks to Charlton Athletic fan and Absolute Radio breakfast show DJ Dave Berry . And its all down to the fact that so many of us are now having to work from home.

First up, Dave.  With video chat currently one of the ways we are all communicating, why not combine professionalism with support for your team ? Namely via an idea suggested by his own breakfast show team this week : Business on the top, party on the bottom. 

Put simply, keep the upper (visible) part of your attire as professional as possible. Yet below the desk, why not slip into something more sporting, more comfortable, more Hummel or Umbro? Why not wear a pair of football shorts off camera ?

By all accounts, Sir Trevor McDonald was a huge fan of the shirt/shorts combo when presenting the News at Ten. I’m not sure if this has ever been proven but it is a wonderful bit of imagery for the mind’s eye. Regardless, and much to Mrs. Bruzon’s chagrin, I did sip into the 92/93 ‘away’ shorts yesterday. Just to try it out.

Fashion and comfort were very much the winners. Good taste, perhaps, going out of the window. Yet the beauty being that nobody else knew. Until now. Like yours truly, Dave has also gone for the Hummel, albeit a more modern pair of Charlton Athletic shorts – as shared on Twitter.

Why not get involved? And share them. Come on, we could all do with a laugh. And showing the support for our team. #Businessonthetoppartyonthebottom. Or something.

Perhaps the more discreet way of doing this is just to wear your favourite colours. Don’t hide them away under whatever you are using as a makeshift office table (for me, a 6 years old’s school desk in the spare room) . Why not wear your shirt for all to see? Why not do a Football shirt Friday ? 

We’re all on video chat with colleagues so, whilst keeping it professional (if the boss is reading) how about wearing your favourite colours. Rather than chat about Corona in the small talk part, let’s chat about our teams. Let’s share them on Twitter. Even though our teams aren’t playing at present, let’s get the back out there. Here’s an easier hashtag: #FootballshirtFriday   

No idea which one to go for but that’s a problem for tomorrow morning. For once, a nice problem. I’ve done the shorts – they weren’t as good on me as they will be on others (as you can see) . 

The shirt thing may be different though. Nothing says style like CHAD. Like the black and silver. Like brown/orange. I’ll be sure to share a picture of the workplace attire – it would be great to see yours too. Come on, let’s get involved. 

The one piece of football news that has emerged overnight was another victory for Lewis Frampton in the FIFA 20 #UltimateQuaranteam Cup organised by Leyton Orient. A 3-1 victory over Finn Harps means he is now through to the last 32 where he’ll face the winners of Thursday night’s clash between Blackburn Rovers and Forest Green. Well played Lewis. Bring on the third round. Or the round of 32 as we are contractually obliged to call these things .

Well played Lewis

For now, there’s not much else to say. Get your favourite shirt on tomorrow and share a picture. It would be amazing t see what our fan favourites are.

Likewise, why not wear your shorts today? It looks like it might be a sunny day so there’s no excuse.

Besides, they can’t look any worse than mine…

Nick Bruzon

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Enjoy Championship action….after dark. Strange thoughts abound ahead of tonight’s game.

Brentford Nights. It goes without saying that an evening game at Griffin Park is always a special occasion and tonight’s visit of Derby County promises to be just that. With confidence high following Saturday’s demolition of Bolton Wanderers, the bar of expectation will have been raised and fans will be hoping for more. In our way stand a Rams side who also played a basement club in Birmingham City and came away with a point themselves.

I really can’t wait for this one. The marketing campaign – Brentford Nights – has given added spice to this one with the lure of Oktoberfest mentioned in the build up and an image of those iconic floodlight pylons on the promo poster. Much as I love the thought of German hot dogs and beer, I’d happily settle for a goal fest or a flood of points.

For Brentford, back to back league wins can only be the target. Full time will see us having reached the ‘ten game’ mark and the table having officially ‘taken shape’. Will the Bees be heading towards mid-table with another win and just four defeats from this opening period? Will we be starting to look like draw specialists? Or will we be sucked back towards the Birmingham zone at the foot of the division?

If nothing else, yet another changed line up is sure to come. Whether because of ongoing injury to John Egan or Dean Smith quite rightly rewarding the performance of his replacement at Bolton, EFL Star of the day (their words), Yoann Barbet. The BBC report Lasse Vibe and Sergi Canos as still injured and so I can’t see any further changes beyond the return of the Frenchman.

But then, why would you? Saturday’s game saw all the potential that Dean had talked about. You can only beat who you are up against and 3-0 away from home is as comprehensive as it comes. I can’t see any goalkeeper in the land as having been able to stop any of those goals. It just shows what happens when you have the confidence to shoot. I’m still in awe at all three strikes.

The Rams won’t be any form of rollover. Far from it. That same BBC report also suggests that there’ll be no Lawrence, no Davies and no Thorne in the side tonight for Derby. For which we can only be grateful as Tom, Curtis and George all remain doubts. Quite frankly, the less options available to manager Gary Rowett the better.

Yet you can still be sure that he’ll have any team he selects fired up and ready to go for it. If nothing else, the 4-0 tonking administered at Griffin Park last season will be a performance they’ll want some form of pay back for. Truly, the Bees were magnificent that day. More of the same will do very nicely, thank you.

The one disconcerting thing about this evening’s game is the club’s aforementioned strapline of : Brentford Nights.

It may just be me, but I can’t read it without thinking of bad TV. Very bad TV. So bad it’s beyond bad and is genuinely compelling TV. Namely, the David Hasselhoff spin off show: Baywatch Nights. A two series run in which Mitch Buchannon (the Hoff) swaps his red lifeguard’s shorts to form an after dark detective agency in Malibu. As you do.

Baywatch Nights. The Hoff. It really happened

As career changes go, it was leftfield. The strangest Hasselhoff vehicle since Kitt, the back talking car. Yet if the opening season plots – about serial killers, robbery, and Hasselhoff going undercover in the drag queen circuit (episode 10) were your standard Miami Vice lite – the second series went truly bizarre. Rather than drug rings and kidnapping, the show took an X-files twist as Hasselhoff and his team investigated vampire sightings, Werewolves, a museum mummy and a time travelling log cabin.

Odd doesn’t begin to describe it. Baywatch  Nights never got a third series. Sadly. Mitch returned to the beach and the only surreal happening involving The Hoff were the four goals he scored in red and white. Yet it goes to show that the strangest things happen after dark.

Here’s hoping for more tonight. Strange things going on. Such as a home win. As for the Vampire sightings, I’ll settle for Scott Carson being scared of crosses.

I’ll get my coat.

The Hoff. Gone but not forgotten

Nick Bruzon

Brentford draw, Swansea and Palace get Santa’s sack and 2016 is summed up in one tweet. A week (and a bit) in football – The Good , The Bad and The Ugly.

A bit late this week, or is it on time? The Christmas schedule always puts the calendar somewhat out of sync. Half way through the campaign and Brentford drew 2-2 with Cardiff City to shore up what is now looking like a mid-table season. At the top, Brighton’s fourth win on the bounce (this time over relegation bound QPR) saw them overtake Newcastle United in the battle to top the table. And at the other end Rotherham , Wigan and Blackburn Rovers occupy the relegation slots.

That’s the latest Championship action in nutshell. With double bank holidays throwing the calendar into confusion (today being Wednesday, I think) there has been so much more going on in the division and beyond. In the latest edition of our regular, weekly-ish feature  – we look back at those things you might have missed from the world of social media.

And, as ever, we start at Griffin Park where there isn’t a huge amount to add off a game where referee Simon Hooper dominated affairs. A shame, as it meant that first time around  we were denied moments such as this…..

When @TomField9 drops the double nutmeg #Brentfordfc #FL72 pic.twitter.com/yPD7PPBASd

— Dave Johnstone (@DmrJohnstone) December 27, 2016

Meanwhile, in the first of a Tom Moore double…. does he know something about Dean Smith that we don’t? Or do Get West London need a new pictures editor?

Tom has been keeping himself busy as he’s been covering events at hapless QPR, too. With the not so super hoops slithering down the Championship table to sit just three points above the drop zone, one can only imagine Ian Holloway is starting to shuffle uncomfortably in his own managerial hot seat. It only seems like a few months ago that he was tipping Brentford to be relegated whilst suggesting the Loftus Road outfit (currently 20th) would end the season 11th.Not that anybody will remind him of these in May….

A bit higher up the table, Gianfranco Zola has immediately rewarded the decision of the Birmingham City board to sack Gary Rowett.

This, something also picked up on by BBC man Phil Parry.

Lower down the league ladder, one can only rejoice in the fact that there’s an equally big fall out from a spot kick strop as Brentford suffered after ‘that penalty’.

In the Premier League, it was less Santa’s sack and more a managerial one. Or two. Bob Bradley was relieved of his duties at Swansea City whilst Sam Allardyce took over from Alan Pardew at Crystal Palace. It was nice to see worlds collide….

Brad Bobley's best moment was this pronunciation of Alan Pardew pic.twitter.com/KHJt9mw2lO

— Chris (@chrishorricks31) December 27, 2016

Big Sam was the instant source of further questioning following his appointment.

Although there can’t be any chance of Mr Pardew being out of work for too long.

Meanwhile non-league Bungay Town were quick to jockey for position despite Ryan Giggs being named as odds on favourite for the role at Swansea…

Getting back to matters on field in the top flight, Arsenal continued to display their ambition.

Leicester City took protests about Jamie Vardy’s suspension to another level.

The day after Boxing Day (Tuesday?) saw Liverpool v Stoke City in the televised clash. Despite the Potters having taken a deserved lead, normal service was resumed in some style.

The visiting manager refused to bend from his principles.

Principles which, once reminded of, deserve a repeat viewing just to remember how short ‘short’ shorts were back in the day.

But it wouldn’t be the festive period without a traditional Christmas message from the Queen.

Or in the case of former Everton ‘keeper Neville Southall, an untraditional one.

And there was a Christmas blast from the past.

Although, ultimately, you could sum up the period (and 2016 as a whole) in one tweet.

Finally, as ever, we close with Ian Moose and his birthday friend of the week. Which of his good friends from the world of football did the Talksport DJ wish happy birthday to, via the medium of a Twitter post and picture of them together?

Given it is a period that included December 25 I was half expecting to see him pose with Jesus. However, having checked the little book of footballing birthdays Manchester City’s Navas was born on November 21st.

Instead, this week his ‘good friend’ is none other than former Bee Chris Kamara .

Nick Bruzon 

Finally. The (kit) cat is out of the bag. New shirt details revealed

Sergio Canos breaking Brentford hearts by leaving Liverpool for Norwich City. The Aston Villa game put back a day due to their other, inevitable, television commitments. Dean Smith experimenting with his Mannschaft by playing three centre backs in the 1-0 win over Vfl Bochum. All mere side shows compared to the day’s BIG news – our first glimpse of the 2016/17 Brentford shirt after a series of pre-order images hit social media this afternoon.

So, what can we tell so far? Well, based on the handful of ’teaser’ shots released by the club – below – the home shirt certainly looks like it has the makings of being a classic.

We can see at least two thick red strips and three thick white ones. Are there more? What about on the back ? We can see a round neck collar, 60’s style. We can see what looks like perforated, airtex style material on the shoulder blades. We can also see the traditional adidas stripes, in black.

A round white collar. This is a first for recent times. We almost got there on the 2006/07 Lonsdale produced shirt although it was a strange pleated affair . Prior to that it hasn’t been a visitor to the Bees shirt since the late 60s /early 70s.

The white/red stripes put me in mind of Core’s effort from 1995/96 although, thankfully, the shirt doesn’t look like it is made out of that somewhat lightweight material that picked up pulls and bobbles (at least on the fan replicas) just by looking at it.  Very much a case of Core’s light

As for the shoulder stripes, we’ve had black on white once before. Also Lonsdale, back in 2005/06 where, let’s just politely say, they paid homage to Adidas. Two out of three ain’t bad (stripes, that was) but we can only assume the shirt goes one better this time around.

The latest images draw on our past

It’s what we can’t see that is as interesting. There’s no glimpse of the new shirt sponsor – confirmed as 888Sport and, for the record, also to be adorning the kits of Nottingham Forest and Birmingham City this season.

There’s no look at the side or under the arms. Could we expect more red there? Might we see further Adidas stripes – a look common to many of their MLS and international templates at present.

And there’s no look at shorts or socks,. Presumably black will be the colour of choice but I’m always a sucker for a white bottom half. Perhaps Mark Devlin and team will surprise us.

And talking of black, that’s the way we’ve gone on our away colours. At least, from the snippet afforded of that shirt. Plain black, a hint of horizontal pin stripe, another round neck  and the adidas stripes in white.

The shirts are already available on pre-order from the club shop. In my humble opinion, based on what we can see so far the club are on to a winner.

Nick Bruzon

Benham? Devlin? Wickham? If Sam is away, who is driving?

Sometimes we really do need to ‘big up’ the team behind the team at Brentford. Tuesday sees the development squad host Barnsley at Griffin Park at 1.00pm  – assuming that Storm Katie, which is still battering TW8, has left the place in one piece.

Despite the frustrations that many supporters are feeling at present, there are plenty of positives to enjoy. Not least of which is the fact the our Bees are just a few wins away from guaranteeing a third, successive, season in the Championship. Honestly, if you’d been offered that four of five years ago, surely most of us would have bitten the hand off to grab that chance?

Yes – last season was stunning and the sales / managemement changes / pitch issues/ recent poor run have certainly been in contrast this time around. However, once the dust settles I’d hope we’ve all learned an awful lot more about the direction of the club and the strategy required for long term success.

Yet amongst all this have been plenty of unsung heroes. The ticket office team continue to blaze a trail as club ambassadors. I’ve mentioned them before but each dealing with them  – whether on the phone or in person – gives a renewed feeling of positivity about our club.

Buzz and Buzzette. Despite their ‘drivers’ remaining a closely guarded secret, these über-friendly faces never, ever pass up the offer of a ‘high five’ or turn down a cuddle with an adoring fan. But that’s enough about my own pre-match peccadillos.

Certainly, they are  one of the reasons my lad loves coming to Griffin Park. So much so that when I asked him on Friday, “What do you want to do next week. Anything?” his two answers were, “I want to go and watch Daddy Bees”, closely followed by “Can we play football in the park with Sam and Harlee?”

And so half-term break sees me being taken to Griffin Park by a 2 and 3/4 year old to watch the development squad take on Barnsley. “Will Buzz be there?” he asked me after I’d told him that we could, indeed, see the Bees (although unfortunately Sam was on holiday with Harlee).

Hmm. Whilst a great chance for the development squad to experience match day at Griffin Park, this was likely to be a scaled down experience with only Braemar Road open (albeit free admission). I’d imagine Buzz is lazing around the pool in his Thomas Royall’s with Sam but, you never know. Daddy will find out.

And here is where the power of social media, and Brentford brilliance, swung into action thanks to another of those ‘heroes’. Chief Executive Mark Devlin doing his Santa routine at Easter has put in a phone call to Buzz and he’s now coming back from holiday early. Just to be there on Tuesday.

Mark Devlin swings immediately into action

My own overactive imagination aside, huge thanks to Buzz for cancelling his holiday and sorting out a short notice ‘fly in’. Which, once HB had gone to sleep, did make me start to wonder how this could be arranged so quickly?

Is Buzz on 24 hour standby, like some mascot emergency service? Or could there be a new man or woman donning that famous costume just for this game?

Chris Wickham or Mark Chapman doubling up their media team duties, perhaps? Mr Benham taking inspiration from TV’s  ‘Undercover Boss’? Mark Devlin, unwilling to ‘leave a fan down’, seeing his duties through to an extreme level ? Or Kitman Bob seeing just how comfortably that XXXXXL shirt fits Buzz?

Either way, whoever is Buzz (tomorrow or any day), THANK YOU. And Mark, likewise.

Buzz does his thing against Blackburn

And just as one final thought, it was only yesterday that this column was talking about the potential catastrophe of using comedians or novelty presenters for major sporting events. Then the boat race happened and proved the point.

I’ll leave that thought with you. If you saw it, you know.

If you didn’t, then just Ask Jeeves. Or Bernard Quackenbush.

Nick Bruzon

From ’81 – ’97…and beyond

I was as saddened as everybody associated with Brentford Football Club when I heard the news about Martin Lange yesterday. His passing, at the age of 71, ends one of the strongest associations with a club for who he was synonymous for the majority of the 1980s and 1990s.

Martin Lange – as pictured on the official site yesterday

As chairman from 1981-1997, Martin was the man at the helm when my own obsession with Brentford was really growing. Quite simply, I cannot associate one without the other.

Martin’s achievements (which are legion) and his progressive outlook have been well documented and people have, rightly so, been lining up to pay tribute. Gary Blissett, in particular, paints a moving picture on his own facebook page.

The club site is amongst those to give a synopsis of his work in the wider world of football. Campaigns to tackle hooliganism, the proposal of the play offs (I still smile at the irony of these being put forward by the Brentford chairman, given our subsequent record) and even his idea to incorporate squad names and numbers onto players’ shirts.

It was this latter point that had me scratching my head yesterday. I’m sure Martin was the man who, unable to get this pushed through initially, took the next available step and incorporated player names onto their shorts instead. Sure enough, a trawl of the interweb reveals pictorial evidence.

The Holdsworth shorts

The team Martin helped put together, containing the likes of Deano and Bliss, which eventually win that epic game at Peterborough back in 1992 is, much like the great man himself, one that will be never be forgotten. RIP Martin Lange.

The other piece of news to catch my attention is one close to my heart and, perhaps, very appropriate today. As somebody who has served on the Bees United board in the past, I’ve seen the role that everyone from Chairman down to supporters can play in our club.

Like BU, BIAS (Brentford Independent Association of Supporters) have proven that fan interaction can play a key part in our club’s future. This Saturday sees their annual AGM and I’d encourage all supporters to attend or, at the very least, read their latest article (written by Gemma Teale) which you can find here. Specifically as this gives supporters who want to get involved a chance to join the BIAS committee aswell as re-electing (or not) the current members.

And for those of you who may be unsure about the prospect of joining a committee, Gemma’s article notes “ I figured it would just be a lot of talking, and minutes and motions and not much else. I’m happy to say I was wrong “.

She goes on to add, “We have quarterly meetings with the club, so get to give Mark Devlin, Kurt Pitman, Chris Wickham and others a really hard time – I mean, have really productive discussions with them. And we make progress, we have influenced the club’s Customer Charter, and we have successfully campaigned for reducing the length of time before a game that advance tickets can be purchased”.

The BIAS AGM takes place at 12pm on Saturday at the Inverness Lodge, Brentford.

What were they thinking? Norwich City defrocked

We’ll crack on with the visit of Norwich City to Brentford shortly but, first, there are a few bits of unfinished business in regards to Monday’s article on the Manchester United – QPR game. Specifically comments around both teams that, quite simply, I ran out of space to include.

First up, Christian O’Connell. The Absolute Radio DJ brought United fans back to earth, aswell as highlighting the state of their opponents, with the astute observation on Sunday that, “Celebrating beating QPR is like jumping for joy when you beat Stevie Wonder at Pictionary”.

And secondly, to a holier place than even national radio – St. Margaret’s Church. It was there, I am told, that the 10.30 service saw a visiting Priest addressing his congregation thus: “Many thanks to the kind Parishioners who took me to watch Chelsea – Swansea. A great game although being from Uganda I am, of course, a Manchester United fan”.

So they’re not all from Surrey, then.

O’Connell takes out both Manchester United and QPR fans with one tweet

And from Uganda to Norwich City. If you want a proper Brentford match preview then (as ever) Beesotted , the BBC or the clubsite are your places.

For the Last Word reader, following the feature before the Brighton game, it’s time for the next in our semi-regular series – What were they thinking? The ‘best of the worst’ / quirkier (delete as applicable) of our visitors’ kits through the ages.

The best : 1988-89 Scoreline. I’ve got personal interest in this one, simply because it is the shirt worn by the Canaries when they reached that season’s FA Cup semi final. Brentford fans won’t need reminding that was the year of Gary Blissett, Manchester City and the quarter final at Anfield where Liverpool did well to eventually edge us out.

A classic, despite the apparent breach of ‘Trade descriptions act’ with the sponsor

The unfortunate design : 1989- 1992 Asics. The plus point is that this one sticks to traditional Norwich City colours of yellow and green. The downside is that the green is less ‘trim’ and more emblazoned over the upper body in a way that, especially on the away kit, puts one in mind of a Waitrose delivery van.

Were the Norwich City club shop expanding their home delivery service?

The worst : 1992- 1994 Ribero. Imagine if your club came up with a great kit design that, after the over indulgence of Asics, got the balance between yellow and green just right. Then, they fed a flock of pigeons nothing but sprouts before allowing them to nest above the final design specs for the team’s latest shirt. This is the result.

Pebble dashed by an incontinent pigeon??

The away shirt : I’ve already mentioned one of these so rather than go for the picnic blanket of the 1993-94 Asics, we’ll chuck in a bonus category:

Retro classic – the Admiral tracksuit. Seen here as sported by Norwich City legend John Bond. If, rather than being a Brentford fan, I’d grown up on the streets of Caistor St. Edmund or Diss in the 1970s I think it’s a fair bet I’d have worn one of these. Probably whilst riding a Raleigh Chopper. Stunning.

John Bond – the king of cool

 

Brentford relax as QPR & Manchester United clash

Brentford fans were able to take it easy on Sunday, basking in the satisfaction of another three points at the weekend (Brighton being the benefactors). With Norwich City next up, a win on Tuesday night will take us above the, currently second placed, Canaries and the returning Lewis Grabban. That’s one to look forward to tomorrow but for now I need to complete the weekend review with the ‘devil and the deep blue sea’ decision that was Manchester United v QPR on Sky.

Specifically – two questions. First up, who to cheer for? Manchester United had, prior to this game, actually endured a worse start under Louis van Gaal than they had under David Moyes. As somebody who supports a team traditionally seen as an underdog, there’s always a particular pleasure in seeing the larger clubs come a cropper. And in England they don’t (Manchester City, Liverpool and Arsenal aside) come much bigger than United.

Last season’s spectacular fall from grace was a thing of beauty for all of those outside of the Home Counties and Greater Manchester to behold. The traditional United fanbase stunned by their team’s unprecedented self-destruction as even Europa League qualification evaded them.

So when things continued in the same vein this campaign, I won’t pretend I wasn’t pleased to see more of this. Cripes – even Will Grigg managed to rediscover his prolific shooting boots against the Red Devils. But then Louis went shopping and normal service looks like it has been resumed – well, it was fun whilst it lasted.

United allowed Will Grigg to rediscover his early Brentford form

But if we didn’t cheer for United then the alternative was the Loftus Road mob. I can’t imagine any circumstance where I’d willfully hope they won. No offence to any QPR fans who may read but, like Fulham, a victory over our West London neighbours is always one to savour. Any sign of our geographical rivals tripping up is a moment to appreciate how good life can be.

So in the end, it was one of those where you just sat back to see what the footballing gods throw at you. With United meting out a 4-0 thrashing that, at one point, looked like it was heading towards those fabulous brackets that come with 7(seven), it’s fair to say that this Brentford fan was left happy with the outcome.

Second question. United play in red shirts, white shorts and black socks. QPR play in (predominantly) blue and white shirts, white shorts and white socks. In theory, this shouldn’t have presented any kit clash beyond, perhaps, a switch to blue shorts.

So why, short of some Fergiesque excuse about being unable to see each other against the crowd, did the visitors need to don their third kit? Moreso as it is almost identical to the home version. Socks and shorts are both white but the shirt simply drops the blue.

It seemed a totally unnecessary exercise in justifying a superfluous third kit. One for the marketing men to answer. Still, if they carry on with results like this then there may be a rather hefty fine to pay. Going to need to shift more than a few extra shirts to cover that one.

Interestingly, Brighton’s blue and white didn’t seem to present any problems against our red and white in the weekend game. With the club now posting their YouTube highlights, you can savour that fine win once more (and see how two teams cope with a non-existent kit clash).

 

View from the terrace – there was no problem picking out bue and white against red and white at Griffin Park

Seagulls left following the trawler as Clem works more ‘magic’

Brentford sailed into the Championship play off zone after a thrilling 3-2 win over Brighton. In a performance considered by most to be our best since going up, the Seagulls had to be content with scraps as the trawler marked ‘S.S. Brentford’ left Brighton floundering in her wake.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Despite Exeter City dropping two points, Clem’s form still remains better than that of Fulham

What were they thinking? The best of the worst

Finally, match day! Brentford welcome Brighton to Griffin Park for a Championship clash that could see a win for either side take them into the play off zone. No doubt the interweb will be awash with match previews and talk on this subject, so I’d like to make my focus on our visitors slightly different – with due apologies in advance to any Brighton fans who may be reading.

As a self confessed kit-nerd, the Last Word has plenty of features on the best and worst of the shirts Brentford have worn over the years. We’ve had some pretty decent stabs at changing the red and white stripes around but, with a few odd exceptions, they follow a fairly similar template.

Like the Bees, since their inception as Brighton and Hove Albion for the start of the 1901-02 season our visitors have largely worn stripes – albeit blue and white. However, unlike the Bees they have experimented with these to a level that has fluctuated between stunning to “What were they thinking”?

In the first of a semi-regular feature, the Last Word is delving into the kitbag to look at the best, although largely worst, of our opponent’s kits through the ages.

The best : 1985-87. Remember the controversy at Griffin Park when we lost our (back) stripes for two seasons? Not only does this remove them from the front but then replaces them with horizontal ones – both thick (shoulder) and pinstripe (main body).

By all rights this should look like a prototype for the Loftus Road mob yet somehow, thanks to the class of Adidas, it works. A retro classic.

Despite ditching the stripes, it’s a modern classic

The unfortunate design : 1989-91 Supplied by the good people at Sports Express this goes straight to the bottom of the pile for it’s uncanny resemblance to a Tesco carrier bag. A masterstroke in subliminal advertising or just a really, really bad design? Either way, one that should never be recycled.

Must.Resist.Deliberate ‘Tesco bag / shirt (l-r)’ caption mix up

The worst : 1991-93 deckchair If the Tesco bag was a fashion faux–pas, the club were only destined to repeat the same mistakes with their next attempt. On the surface, nothing wrong with this Ribero effort, until you see it in conjunction with the shorts.

I can only imagine that, with five minutes to go until the kit design had to be submitted and nothing ready, the club marketing director took a look at the deckchairs on Brighton beach whilst heading into work and job done.

‘Massacre Mark’ with your predictions, goes the text. Why bother – the kit does a good enough job

The away shirt : 1991-93 There were a few contenders but the Chewits kit, unveiled at the 1991 play off final (they lost) has to scoop the honours. Seriously, what WERE they thinking?

Even worse, the club compound the felony by running this with matching shorts – was this an early 90’s thing at the Goldstone?

Truly a stomach churning, headache inducing effort that was more reminiscent of the popular 80s sweets than an away kit designed to strike fear into the opposition.

1991-1993 saw record sales of Alka Seltzer in the Brighton area

 

The play off final ‘reveal’ saw the mascot in an equally dismal effort