Tag Archives: song

With Alien Day seeing another entry to the pantheon of lame ‘jokes’ why not do something good instead?

27 Apr

No. Nooo. Nooooo. In space, no one can hear you scream. Well, sitting here home alone at 6.45am that’s exactly how it feels. It’s a rare foray away from the Brentford stuff today (albeit we’ve a Bees update at the end of this one). Indeed, upon waking there hadn’t even been an intention to write. Then I saw Twitter where something awful has happened. With the world’s weakest sci-fi/calendar related crossover joke still a week away, out of nowhere somebody has created a new one. Apparently today is Alien Day. Seriously.

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It has a Twitter emoji – this must be official

April 26th – Alien Day. Obviously. It even has its own Twitter emoji. But why? Why? Star Wars Day (truly, the most odious of social media gimmicks) at least has a tenuous connection. May the fourth being a hilarious spin on the famous line from the films whilst,simultaneously, being the weakest pun this side of an episode of Mrs Browns Boys. May the force/fourth be with you – how we laughed. Said absolutely no-one.

That’s bad enough, but at least there is another week to brace oursleves. Perhaps even activate the ‘mute’ filter.  Yet now, out of nowhere,  I’ve woken up to see my social media stream full of #Alienday. But what is the connection?

Well, in a no way marketing related spin (the new film Alien : Covenant is released next month) some bright spark has noted a an even looser connection than the Star Wars one. 4/26 – to put an American spin on the date – is almost the same as Planet LV-426 from the movies Alien and the wonderful sequel, Aliens.

That’s it.There isn’t even an attempt at wordplay. For Star Wars Day to have the moral high ground  – in the fact that at least anybody with a vague knowledge of popular culture might pick up on it – there must be something seriously wrong.

What next? 20th January: Space Odyssey day ? 1st March: Doctor Who day? August 29th: Terminator 2 – Judgement Day ? (Actually, I quite like that one).

Nobody will care. That’s fine. I just had to get this off my chest. Or, perhaps, out of it. D’oh!

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The new ‘day’ not at all marketing related. And yes, I’ve bitten

And relax. Getting back to Brentford, we’ll start to look at the trip to Fulham tomorrow. Until then, there’s a special request – and I apologise if I sound like a cracked record but it is music related.

The charity single Welcome home, King Jota is being deleted tomorrow. Time is fast running out to download this or give the video a spin on YouTube. In itself, as enjoyable given you get to immerse yourself in Mark Fuller’s video montage containing all number of Bees supporters in cameo roles aswell as, more importantly, a homage to the luxuriantly coiffured wing wizard.

All proceeds go to charity – the single is of course raising money for Cancer Research UK. This is the last time I’ll mention it in the short term so please go out and do your thing.

Billy Reeves, Adam Bluetone, Rich Hard-FI and a cracking tune could be yours for just a 79p donation to charity. You can get it here. Please do. And why not give that video, which is almost at an incredible 3000 hits, one more play?

Jota – genius

Nick Bruzon

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The calm before the storm is now available. Musical perfection awaits.

21 Apr

We’ll keep this brief today. With Brentford due to host QPR in the first of our back-to-back West London derbies (the trip to Fulham coming next Saturday) there’ll be plenty to talk about over the next week or so. Indeed, there’s already been plenty said about this one already.

To summarise recent events: Ian Holloway and that woeful prediction, Jake Bidwell, the Bees winning 2-0 at Loftus Road in October, LLLLL (being the QPR current form guide) and a league table that sees us 10 points ahead of the neighbours. That’s of course before we even recall what happened 50 years ago.

There’s been plenty said about this already

All that’s for Saturday. Today sees something which in its own right is as important as the derby. No less an occasion than Billy Reeves, Adam Devlin and Richard Archer releasing their debut single as Staines supergroup Grown Men in Tears.

Yes, the  wonderful ’Welcome home, King Jota’ becomes available to download today. For one week only. By the time we play Fulham, it will be gone.

Rich Adam Billy

Grown Men in Tears. Archer, Devlin, Reeves (l-r) c/o The Jolly Baker, Ashford

Regular readers (should such a concept exist) may recall we spoke about this earlier in the week. That was then. This is now. And you can get it from 9am today for just 79p. Even better, the money isn’t going into the pockets of this Bluetones/Hard-FI/too much to mention power trio but , instead, towards Cancer research UK.

Do something brilliant for a wonderful charity. Download something brilliant for your iPod or other MP3 player. You can give it a spin below but who wouldn’t want to keep this forever? Rather than ordering a bag of pork scratchings with your pre-match pint tomorrow, why not put the money to better use and click ’download’ via Billy’s twitter account?

who doesn’t love a montage ?

Nick Bruzon

The Bluetones, Hard-Fi and Theaudience form Staines supergroup in honour of King Jota.

17 Apr

With Brentford travelling to Barnsley today you might expect the normal prematch nonsense. Hot off the heels of Friday’s hammering of Derby County, where a brace apiece from Lasse Vibe and the talismanic Jota saw pun writers having a field day, it would be the perfect time to ‘go again’ with the big game build up. Yet headlines including Demolition Derby. Rams to the Slaughter. Silence of the Rams. Rams Raided and my own personal winner –  Bees guilty of battering Rams etc etc etc tell you all you need to know about that one. Poor Barnsley. If Brentford put in even half that performance then the Tykes would probably be better focussing on the half time mascot race between Toby and Buzz.

So we’ll leave the football for now. At least, the on pitch stuff. One of the things I love about Brentford is that everybody knows everybody. One minute you could be outside the pub with your regular match day friends, then next you find yourself talking to jumper man, having Harry Potter bawling in your ear or Billy Grant waving a microphone in your face. You see Natalie Sawyer walking past. Chairman Cliff Crown stops for a chat. Look over there, Marcus Gayle is holding court. And isn’t that Richard Archer out of Hard-Fi talking to him? Alongside Adam Devlin from one of my all time favourite bands, The Bluetones. All we need is Cameron Diaz for a full house. Although, sadly, that’s a spot that will have to go on hold (at least, for now) due to well documented reasons.

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Jumper Man – one of many familiar Brentford faces

But the point being this is all run of the mill stuff. Between 2pm and 7pm on a Saturday afternoon we’re all Brentford fans. Whoever you are and whatever happens outside the confines of Griffin Park is stuff for another day. For now, a love of the Bees unites us all as the great and good rub shoulders and enjoy the vibe.

But today we should think about what happens outside of Griffin Park because word reaches me, perhaps appropriately on Easter weekend, of a Holy Trinity coming together. A musical Holy Trinity or, if you will, a so called supergroup.

A power trio comprising Devlin (Adam, not chief executive Mark), Richard Archer and the one time musical cohort of Sophie Ellis-Bexter, Billy Reeves. The very same Billy Reeves these days more commonly known for his wonderful work with BBC Radio London.

Yes, Billy is at it again. The man who brought us the uber catchy ‘Hey! Championship!’ to celebrate our promotion from League 1 and follow up single ‘Goodbye Mark Warburton’ has now linked up with the aforementioned musical wing men to form Grown Men in Tears –   Staines’ answer to Emerson, Lake and Palmer. The product of this output is ‘Welcome Home, King Jota’  – quite possibly Billy’s finest end of season song to date.

Rich Adam Billy

Grown Men in Tears. (l-r) Archer, Devlin, Reeves.     c/o The Jolly Baker, Ashford

Kudos to Adam and Richard. With added glockenspiel and flamenco guitar outro it really is Billy’s crown jewel. How catchy. Oh that chorus. Oh, the namechecking in the lyrics.  “He opens up his legs, puts in a corner, for Harlee Dean’s big head” being amongst the finest and, yet, slipping into the verse as deliciously as the King himself playing the ball over.

Oh that chorus. The harmony. I Love it. Absolutely love it. What starts off with a slightly melancholic air quickly turns into an ear worm that burrows in deep and won’t let go. A perfect 3 minutes 58 seconds of music that is as silky smooth as the man himself. Even better, its all for charity with all proceeds going to Prostate Cancer UK Charity. Move fast, though – the single will only be available for one week (as a download, 79p) via Billy’s twitter page https://www.twitter.com/TheBillyReeves  and is released April 21st.

Come for the Hard-FI / Bluetones connection, stay for musical genius.

Jota – if you are reading (you aren’t) the Brentford family love you. If this doesn’t tell you, nothing will.

You can watch the video and hear the song below. Then rush out and buy it on the 21st for just 79p. Its all for charity, mate. And isn’t it brilliant?

Big love and thanks to Mark Fuller for the video montage. What a lotta Jota 

If you are concerned about prostate cancer or prostate problems then the Prostate Cancer UK charity can help. They provide a range of information and support so you can choose the services that work for you. All their services are open to men, their family and their friends. Via their ‘Men United’ campaign they are working with the Football League to raise awareness and money.

Nick Bruzon

As Sam says farewell does ‘that song’ still apply? And Wigan appear out of nowhere.

21 Jan

Sad times. Sam Saunders has left Brentford for Wycombe Wanderers. We all suspected this was coming after the midweek update from co-director of football Rasmus Ankersen to West London’s premier journalist, Tom Moore. And then, on the eve of our trip to Wigan Athletic, the news was confirmed.

I said my piece on Sam during the week. It’s available here. Feedback at the time from the likes of Twitter and Facebook was unanimous in agreement. A first for The Last Word but, undoubtedly, this due to the calibre of the man being discussed. Likewise, when the news was confirmed, the tributes were legion, with this one from Tom Cox being my pick of the bunch.

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So there’ll be no regurgitation today from your’s truly. Instead, here’s the farewell message from the man himself. Even in leaving, he hasn’t failed to raise a tear and a smile. That song….

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Whether ‘that song’ still applies remains a matter of conjecture for married men and women everywhere. One thing that will definitely remain in perpetuum is the area known as ‘Saunders territory’. It’ll be a long time coming until somebody in red and white can hit a dead ball at goal so sweetly and so consistently. So long, Sam. And thanks for all the goals.

As for Wigan Athletic on Saturday, it seems to have almost crept up on us. Aside from Sam, all the talk of West Ham, Scott Hogan, Chelsea and the FA Cup tickets has provided a huge diversion. All of a sudden it is match day morning and Wigan await.

Club sponsor 888sport have the home side as favourites. I don’t see it. Brentford were magnificent for huge swathes of the game against Newcastle United whilst, of course, won handsomely at hapless Birmingham City on our last road trip. A blockbuster form Nico Yennaris sealing the points in that one.

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The bookies here rarely wrong. But surely this is too generous?

Will Scott Hogan feature against Wigan? Unlikely. Given Dean Smith’s comments prior to the Newcastle game followed by an abrupt u-turn when the teams were announced. Something one could just about give him the benefit of the doubt over until the striker failed to make it off the bench. The whole thing smelt very fishy.

Perhaps that’s why we are priced at almost 2-1 to beat a team buried deep in the relegation quagmire. A team who are only being kept off the bottom of the table by virtue of Rotherham United’s ongoing ineptitude.

Brentford are stronger with Scott Hogan, no question. But even without him, Lasse Vibe has started finding the back of the net, Josh McEachran was amongst those to have a great game against Newcastle United whilst the deliciousness of Jota is a luxury we are beginning to enjoy the taste of once more .

There’s more to the team than just one man. How Dean Smith juggles those pieces is, as ever, the conundrum.

At 2.15 we find out.

Nick Bruzon

Will Grigg’s Offside. Alleged inferno fails to fire as Bees held.

2 Oct

With various headlines highlighting Gary Caldwell’s proclamation that “We deserved our point” and “we deserved our clean sheet” there’s the game in a nutshell. Brentford stretched their unbeaten home run to ten games following a 0-0 draw with a Wigan Athletic side for whom Blakey would have given 10/10 for their bus parking skills.

But as we’ve said many times, chances and possession count for nothing if you can’t find the back of the net. And on this occasion, despite 9 in our previous two games at Griffin Park, it was the Bees who couldn’t convert.

Dean Smith nailed it in his post match interview where he explained the reaction is one of disappointment really. This, despite the Bees being excellent in the first half. “The reaction is one of disappointment really,” said Dean. “We were excellent in the first half hour and should have punished them. We didn’t take our chances and they defended manfully.”

Whilst Wigan boss Gary Caldwell may not be Jose Mourinho – a fact that both are probably thankful for – teams will set up to do a job on us. Griffin Park is fast becoming a metaphorical fortress and so often the first tactic will be to shut out a team with a free scoring reputation .

As for he who must not be sung about, a Voldemort of footballers (dads, ask your kids. It’s. A. Children’s. Book), the former Bee and Northern Ireland International failed to find the back of the Griffin Park net. Plus ca change. Despite an early chorus for ‘that song’ (yawn, yawn, yawwwn), it was the home fans with their own “Will Grigg’s offside” who summed things up.

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Forget Grigg. We have our own goal machine. For once, silenced

This is no match report. It never is. I’d direct you to reputable sites such as the BBC, Beesotted or ‘official’ if you want a blow by blow account of match detail. That said, I have to say well done to Dean Smith for sticking with the same team who thumped Reading on Tuesday night.

That, a line up which had seen both tactical and enforced changes for Brentford – Ryan Woods missing that one through his accrual of fifth yellow card at Wolves. Yet it was also a line up that performed wonderfully and despite our Ginger Pirlo being available once more, Dean kept one of the early contenders for ‘player of the year’ on the bench.

It was a brave decision but the absolute correct one. Tuesday night was wonderful and to reward that with anything but a chance to, erm, ‘go again’ would have been a dreadful message to send out to those players who had taken their own chance when it had been offered.

The flip side of the decision making process is around substitutes. In the past few seasons the players to make way and the timing (the 60-70 minute ‘zone’) had become choices so prescribed that they could have been written on the back of an envelope long before kick off.

This time around, it’s almost as though things have gone the other way. I’ve nothing against this – quite the opposite. Let’s react to the way the game is unfolding. That said, is there a case that he is holding on too long now? That tactics – or players who seem to be struggling with fitness – could be reacted to quicker?

Who’d be a manager? Get it right and you are a genius. Miscalculate and everybody thinks they know better.

Look. Another game unbeaten at home and another point aren’t anything to be sniffed at. Quite the opposite. We’re in 7(seventh) place in the Championship table after a quarter of the season with another clean sheet in the bag. It is arguably the best start we’ve had at this point in the three campaigns since leaving League One.

Next up is International break (well timed for Lasse Vibe, who left Griffin Park on crutches) followed by trips to Newcastle United and Derby County. Nobody said this year’s Championship would be any easier but it’s certainly proving to be fun.

See you at St.James’ Park in two weeks….

Barcelona lose the plot as Sam wins Twitter for German Bees

10 Jul

Brentford are in Germany. FC Barcelona have totally lost the plot. Sam Saunders has come out with the all time best ever tweet. Those are pretty much the highlights from a day that saw The Bees travelling to their summer training camp.

As at the time of writing (Sunday 7am), we are still waiting on the first entry from Peter Gilham’s tour diary to bring us up to speed on the latest from the squad. Whilst it’s probably a bit early to expect him to be putting pen to paper, at least there was plenty out there yesterday to keep us updated on social media.

I believe ‘Snapchat’ may have pictures whilst both @BrentfordFC Twitter and the hashtag #GermanyBees are the place for further information and images. Likewise do check the club figures where, amongst others, Kitman Bob has been on his usual prolific form.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have no idea who drives Brentford ‘official’. Is it an individual, a shared responsibility or ‘car keys in a bowl’ to see who gets the password? However, it definitely seems to have been on the up in recent months following some of those earlier dabbles with, what we’ll politely call, dubious hashtags (hopefully the likes of #trophyfriends and #bignewambitions will remain nothing but an odd memory).

Yesterday saw the ‘good’ side of official continue with, amongst other things, a series of photos that surely provide the basis for a caption competition in weeks to come.

This, being my particular favourite – both for the image and the curiosity as to what had elicited such a response.

If anybody has any suggestions/captions then please feel free to add as a comment and we’ll print them tomorrow.

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“I even saw one guess that we’ll be playing in red and white stripes next season”

If Brentford are on good form with Twitter (and hold on Sam Saunders fans, we will get there) it would be fair to say that over in Spain things aren’t going quite so well. The famous terrace chant may once have declared us to be : The Barcelona of the lower leagues but the Catalan Giants seem hellbent on rebranding themselves the Brentford of La Liga. When it comes to hashtags, that is.

With the story of multi-millionaire Lionel Messi being found guilty of tax evasion this week, heavily fined and sentenced to 21 months in jail (a term he will not have to serve ??!) all over the media, Barca have looked to do something to counter the stories and subsequent rumours flying around. However, what they have come out with is something utterly disrespectful to anybody how has ever worked a day in their life (assuming they’ve paid their tax).

Rather than hold up his hands to say, “Sorry, it’s a far cop guv, you’ve got me bang to rights” they’ve gone the other way. Supporters have been asked to show their support by posting a message or photo with both hands open, accompanied by the hashtag : #WeAreAllLeoMessi

I’m not sure what support they expect people to be offering a convicted fraudster. Surely now is the time for a spot of contrition or just lying low? Even the choice of phrase had a rather distasteful similarity to the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ reference that helped people show unity after the January 2015 terrorist attacks in France. When Jimmy Carr suddenly has the moral high ground in the tax evasion stakes then you know things are bad.

Personally, I followed their request to the letter and came up with this.

It wasn’t just me. The response to #We AreAllLeo Messi was almost universally scathing. If you are bored today then do take a look at the hashtag to see the latest. Failing that, here are but a smattering  :

 

All good, but for a Bees related slant this one nails it for me:

And relax.

Oh Sammy Saunders you are the love of my life. Oh Sammy Saunders I’d let you (have relations with) my wife.

Not my words but… Actually, they are my words along with those of close to 10,000 other Brentford supporters in honour of the perma-tanned wing-wizard, swim short magnate and terrace hero. Week in, week out the song is sung to our wonderful number 7 (seven). And rightly so.

So despite all the Barcelona related nonsense on twitter yesterday, it was none other than Sam who pretty much closed the social media network down as any form of contest.

This, when asked for some inspirational words ahead of a supporter’s impending nuptials…

I can’t beat that. Nobody can. We may aswell just give it up now. Peter Gilham has got a tough act following Sam when his tour diary comes out.

Nick Bruzon 

And finally…. :   The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. For all the info, the highs, the lows, more highs then  you can do so now.

Its been a wonderful three years. Here’s to more of the same over 2016/17. Thanks, as ever, for reading.

It’s been emotional – but where next for Warbs?

21 May

Leeds United have got their man. Again. Yesterday’s appointment of former Brentford manager Uwe Rösler marks their fifth head coach in a year, following stints for Brian McDermott, David Hockaday, Darko Milanic and Neil Redfearn. It is a strike rate from Leeds head honcho Massimo Cellino that makes even Spanish football look stable by comparison but, this time, I’d suggest United do have a good choice.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further on.

Uwe is announced - looking a bit like a 'celebrity graduate' getting an honorary degree

Uwe is announced – looking a bit like a ‘celebrity graduate’ getting an honorary degree

Can Bees beat Slade to Christmas number one?

20 Dec

Brentford travel to Cardiff City today knowing that a win and the usually unreliable ‘other results going in our favour’ could see us joint top of the Championship table on Christmas day. It is a game most fans have been looking forward to for months and, moreso, because it gives us a chance to renew acquaintances with Russell Slade.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Will these strikers hit the right notes in the Championship?

5 Jul

Another day, and another ‘local rag’ rumour shot down (See also: ‘Bees boss plans double swoop’, which appears more often than a Keith Stroud yellow card) as, rather than Brentford, Callum Wilson will be plying his trade in the Championship for Bournemouth next season. With the fee reckoned to be £3million (or 1 x Lewis Grabban….) the deal to take him from Coventry was confirmed on Friday.

If true, then even if Warbs had been looking at him one could only presume a transfer of that size being well out of our range – certainly without Grabbanesque sales – and nobody wants to see our prize assets leaving. Especially not before a ball has been kicked.

Still, with Northern Ireland International striker Will Grigg as the only front man on the Brentford books with regular league experience, it does beg the question as to if anyone else will come in (are you reading, Marcello?).

Of course, the untapped potential of Andre Grey is a wonderful option for Warbs to have up his sleeve. I’m intrigued to find out if the leap from Conference to Championship will be a giant chasm or a simple step for the free scoring goal machine? If what we’ve heard and seen about this young man is correct then the smart money has got to be in the latter camp.

One thing we do know about Andre is that he can’t sing. Although, to be fair, that’s a trait common to footballers in general. And you can see this on the clubwebsite at the moment where visitors have a double treat.

First up, is the next installment of Peter Gilham’s tour diary. Another fascinating read as to life on the pre-season tour. I was particularly curious about the Florida weather of which, by breakfast time, we have been told, “already the temperature was in the 1930s.”

Art deco conditions and storm clouds gathering across Europe? Still, if it means the Bees preparing to jump to the top flight (a feat we last achieved in 1935) then I’m all for that.

And as for the singing, well it’s not just PG’s diary that we are being spoiled with. The club have taken thing to Ambassadorial levels of excellence with the launch of Brentford X-Factor.

As you may be aware, any new members of the Bees set up have to perform a song on tour in front of the established staff. Not only has this fine tradition continued but the evidence is now on line. More importantly, the ‘singers’ are looking for you to ‘vote’ them through to the next round in a X-Factor style vote. Albeit through the medium of twitter, rather than premium rate phonelines.

Brentford X Factor

Thankfully, it is the fans who are the judges…

I think it’s a great idea and, if you can cover your ears long enough, the link to the videos and votes is here on the clubwebsite. I’ll say one thing for Andre, he certainly doesn’t lack confidence

 

And just catching up on a few points from yesterday, given the article on Peter’s diary, I was contacted by Andrew Cooper (Hong Kong Bee) who has noted: “I was pleased to see PG calling his diary Letter From America. There’s a missed oppo here… “Donaldson no mooore. Norris no mooore. Trotta no mooore. Saville no moore.”

I also posed the question that with Nice due to visit Griffin Park later this month , and their goalkeeper David Ospina of Colombia playing against Brazil last night, it would be a wonderful opportunity to see who could put most goals past him – Will Grigg or Brazil International, Neymar?

Neymar promptly drew a blank and, despite his team winning, the local hero has also been ruled out of the World Cup with injury.

Will – over to you to go one better (just not the injury, please).

‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s season 2013/14 amongst other things) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from the last ten months, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

Strip tease continues as FA tell Barlow to ‘Take That’

1 Jun

What a Sunday – football just gets better and better. With Brentford releasing another ‘teaser’ image of their shirt over the weekend ahead of Monday’s launch, I feel more confident than ever we are in for a good one. And then, to round off the great news, word is spreading on the internet that Gary Barlow’s ‘Greatest Day’ has been dropped by the FA as the official England song at the forthcoming World Cup.

I’d said my piece on this when the news of the England song’s selection was first announced. You can read it in full, here, although the salient points were:

“Rather than the much touted prospect of Kasabian, fans are to be treated to a cover version of a Take That effort – Greatest Day. Despite the sheer laziness of having Gary Barlow (a man who comes over as so bland he’d probably have England play in beige) re-record his own song, worryingly he is accompanied by a seemingly random selection of other singers.

These include, in no particular order: Emma Bunton, Kimberley out of ‘Girls Aloud’, and ‘Sporty’ Spice Mel C – hey, she likes football and sings so why not? Then we get in to the realms of ‘who’ with the likes of Katy B ( I’m not sure if this is the comedian of ‘Big Ass’ fame) and someone/thing called an Eliza Doolittle (presumably a singer/band the kidz would recognise, rather than the character from ‘My Fair Lady’).

In footballing tradition, the England football team also join in. Except, they don’t. Instead, the sporting contingent (Mel C aside) is made up of ex-Internationals, with everybody from Peter Shilton, Gary Lineker and former Brentford player Kenny Sansom participating. I’m not sure why the current squad won’t be appearing on this , probably contractual, but I quite like the thought of Steven Gerrard trying to recreate the John Barnes rap.”

Whoever is picked in Barlow and crew’s place (does anyone have New Order’s phone number) HAS to be better than this, surely?

Just as long as they steer clear of either Robbie Williams – his ‘Let me entertain you’ being the most overplayed, and least appropriate, song in sporting history – or the (alleged) England Supporter’s band, then we should be just fine.

Painful though Barlow’s all-star cast were, the thought of Bernie Clifton and co parping through an off key version of the theme from’ The Great Escape’ might just have me reaching for the ‘off’ button.

There's no room at the (Bernie) Inn for the England Supporter's band

There’s no room at the (Bernie) Inn for the England Supporter’s band