Tag Archives: Steven Seagal

Will Sunderland have Bees Under Siege? Can Lasse channel his inner chef?

21 Oct

Welcome Sunderland. Following on from last weekend’s 1-0 at home to Millwall, Brentford will be looking to make it back to back wins for this first time this season. We’ll also be looking to make it 6 in a row unbeaten in a run that has also seen the win at Bolton and draws with Reading, Derby and Middlesbrough.

In our way stand Sunderland. A name to conjure with the imagination. A club whom we have not played in the league since 1993 (our solitary, pre-Benham, higher tier season in most supporters’ living memory). A club we have not played since January 2006 in the FA Cup when DJ Campbell did ‘that thing’ against Gary Breen. The defender reacting with all the finesse of a turning oil tanker in a moment that will live long in the memory.

A club who are, in all honesty, the biggest thing to fall out of the Premier league since Newcastle United the season before. And now they are mixing it with Brentford.

Let’s be honest. When the fixtures were published, the trip to the Stadium of Light was probably one of the first that Brentford fans looked for. Likewise, the visit from the Black Cats. We all want to see our boys up against the best and, in theory, this is one of those occasions.

Yet, it wold be fair to say, like Aston Villa last season, they are finding the Championship a somewhat different proposition to the top flight they left behind. This is no case of just turning up and bouncing back. England’s second tier being full of cannon fodder for those teams armed with parachute payments is a notion that is long gone.

A solitary league win over Norwich City back in August must now seem a long way away. Since then, there’s been a slump to the point where only basement club Bolton are beneath the Black Cats (with thanks to the Hounslow Chronicle big book of 80s alliteration for that one). Five draws and six defeats make up the rest of their campaign, whilst they’ve shipped 10 goals in their last four games alone. A run that includes a 5-2 hammering at the hands of Ipswich Town.

With Lasse Vibe fit once more and Sergi Canos chomping at the bit to get in on the action, surely this one has all the makings of a Brentford win? The BBC reports that super computer SAM – the Sports Analytics Machine – is calling a 55% chance of home win. The bookies are even less generous.

Checking for research purposes only, The Bees are odds on (4/5) with my own online bookmaker of choice whilst they have Sunderland at an incredible 3/1 to get the win. Three to one. Or in financial terms, invest a tenner and win nothing. Whilst they rarely get it wrong, if ever you wanted an indication of how things are going on Wearside then here it is .

That’s not to take things for granted. Quite the opposite. To borrow a line from Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (the point where the previously wonderful Steven Seagal jumped the shark, and is still jumping), “Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups“. Show any complacency and pay the price.

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Seagal – his siege busting days now behind him

Instead, I’m on board with Dean Smith for this one. He used his pre-match press conference yesterday to make a few telling points. The observation that “We have got good technicians within the team,” could have been lifted direct from the big book of Warburton. More important was his awareness that, “Sunderland’s position doesn’t give us any right to do anything. We ask the fans not to be expectant but to get behind us from the start

As I saw one Twitter observer note yesterday –  Football fans? Expectant? As if that would ever happen. But Dean’s right. I can only imagine a similar set up that of when Derby came to visit recently. Backs to the wall and turgid defence as Brentford had a staggering 76% possession.

With the visitors no doubt anxious to avoid defeat, I’m sure today will see The Bees being given the opportunity to try and put the Sunderland goal under siege. The big question being, is Lasse Vibe our own Casey Ryback?

At 3pm, we find out.

under siege Lasse updated

He’s just a (poorly photshopped) chef.

Nick Bruzon

Dear BBC. Please don’t do it, however good the cause

22 Jan

Brentford haven’t even faced this Friday’s trial by TV against Gillingham yet already our next ‘on air’ encounter has been announced.

Not surprisingly the visit to, current, League One top dogs Leyton Orient has been brought forward to accommodate our friends at Sky. Thankfully, from some respects (the boat crew may not agree), rather than a shift to Friday night it remains on March 15th but is now a lunchtime kickoff.

Realistically, this was always going to happen. Brentford and Leyton Orient are the top two sides in League One and so this could end up being a real six-pointer (along with a chance for Sky to crank out all those East meets West type lines).

To me, it makes no difference. The number of travelling supporters will, one would imagine, remain largely the same regardless of 12.15 or 3.00. It’s too big a game  – it can’t be too often you say that about Leyton Orient  v Brentford!

Interestingly, chief executive Mark Devlin took to twitter immediately after the announcement to discuss ticketing and canvass opinion. It seems we have a choice between an allocation of 1600 or 3700. The former figure, surely too low, but is the top whack optimistic?

In my opinion, no. It’s a table-topping clash and Leyton Orient IS an easy away ground to get too. If you aren’t taking the boat trip then its simply a case of jumping on the Central line at Ealing Broadway and putting your feet up for an hour – not literally, keep those seats clean please.

The other TV news yesterday was one which, being honest, upsets me somewhat. The BBC have announced that David Beckham is to appear in a one-off return of Only Fools and Horses.

I loved this show when it was originally shown – although I think we’ve all seen the clip of Del Boy in the bar perhaps once too often (spoiler alert – he falls over). However, it’s not been on for over a decade and for good reason – it ended on a high whilst the cast are, to be polite, getting on a bit.  It’s going to be impossible to resist a trip down memory lane and take a look but I fear a car crash. Moreso, when you then add Mr Beckham into the mix.

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The BBC have announced the return of Del Boy and…David Beckham

The man who singlehandedly secured the 2012 Olympics for Great Britain loves doing his public bit and, with this in aid of Sport Relief, it’s natural he’ll be involved. But a good cause doesn’t necessarily justify resuscitating the long dead corpse of one of the nation’s favourite programmes.

Equally, everybody knows  – footballers can’t act.

We’ve all seen Figo doing his ‘Just for men’, the classic ‘Escape to Victory’ (“We can win this”), Eric Cantona is currently masquerading as a French farmer but the king acting stinker is, of course, Vinnie Jones.

To be fair, the former Wimbledon man set the bar high with his surprise debut in ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’, but its been downhill since there. Very much a case of the law of diminishing returns, he was single handedly responsible for destroying X-Men: The Last Stand whilst has also flexed his acting muscles in a range of films that includes ‘Swordfish’ and ‘Garfield: A Tail of two Kitties’.

Hey, I’ve no problem with a wooden, bad, actor. Just look at Jason Statham – a 21st century Steven Seagal. He does what he does, and does it very well. But, with footballers, it just stretches the bounds of entertainment that bit too far.

Sadly, things seem too late for Beckham and ‘Only Fools…’, judging by the publicity stills already published. I can only cross my fingers and hope we don’t have another Vinnie – ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ moment….