Tag Archives: Super Victor

The top 12 ‘search terms’ lead to an awkward repeat of past form.

27 Aug

The calm between the storms. Brentford have been and done with the game at Charlton Athletic. The visit of Derby County awaits. I’m not going to deny that Sunday saw somewhat of a cop out in regards to the blog – albeit I stand by what I did. Sometimes, less is more and one can only hope that is the approach taken this coming weekend. Having all the possession and chances counts for nothing if we can’t quite do the business in the final section of the pitch. Something that I am sure will be put right when we receive our latest visit from Frank Lampa….. sorry, old habits die hard.

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Being John Frankovich  – no longer a thing 

But with a lazy approach to the weekend review and nothing really happening on bank holiday Monday (from a footballing perspective), that Derby game seems a long way off. On the plus side, it has allowed a chance to play around with the backend static data on these pages. This is territory we visited back in the very early days of this site. So early that  Uwe Rosler was still in charge at the time. 

Screenshot 2019-08-26 at 21.30.58It was a chance to look at the search terms used by the Internet ( I can take no credit for that side of things) to drive people to one of these articles.

Phrases that, when typed into AOL (Ah, Connie – whatever happened to you and your interactive dress?), Google or Ask Jeeves would then suggest that there may be a relevant article on these pages. Or an interesting one. Your definition of both may, of course, vary.

Yet whilst proving a great source of data, these ‘search terms’ also reveal that there are some people out there with a very niche set of preferences. And that the combination of seemingly innocent key words used in the context of a football blog may be less than innocent when typed in by the (probably) sticky fingers of cyber nerds.

People have ventured here whilst looking for everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. Some of them Brentford related. Some of them not. Amongst other things, these include:

sex pies

Frank Mcparland milk

Sam Warburton naked

Sam Saunders rubber glove

Dickie Davies Asahi beer

Helen Chamberlain leather

Barry Hearn Chuckle brothers

How much is Matthew Benham worth

Harlee Dean fishslapping

Buzzette snapchat

Feet pictures

And my particular favourite : Nick Prochwitz tattoo. 

The mind boggles as to whether that was somebody looking to get one or simply checking out the player’s own bodywork . Either way, not good. 

Sam and Dickie. Both have been pictured over the years

Yet whilst looking through these search terms, one in particular caught my eye. Super Victor. In an instant I was taken back three and a bit years to a piece written at the start of the Euro 2016 football tournament and UEFA’s chosen mascot. He of the aforementioned name. Something particularly pertinent given the recent piece about the 2020 equivalent, and it still hurts to say this….…. ‘Skillzy’. Urghh. Feel so dirty.

If the top knotted friend of the children is bad, and he/she/it IS, then it’s nothing compared to the accident that was Super Victor. In more ways than one. You’d think UEFA would learn and hark back to the simpler days of Sweden 1992’s ‘Rabbit’.

Ironically, one so popular he was ported over directly from the previous tournament in 1988 – the only time a mascot has appeared twice. But no, instead of a reproducing rabbit they went for Super Victor. And by the time he had been plastered all over the 2016 tournament, it was too late.

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(l-r) Rabbit 1988/92 ; Super Victor 2016 ; ‘Skillzy’ 2020

Only then was it discovered that he shared his name with what was tactfully described as a 5.5kg, 10 inch long ‘industrial sized’ marital aid. People checking out the story at the time were advised not to look up ‘Super Victor Toy’ or visit online adult ‘shopping sites’. Please don’t do it now. I did, for research purposes, and have had to delete my history.

Connie and Jeeves would likely have gone into meltdown whilst nobody wanted any embarrassing incidents in the name of research. The Guardian were amongst those who lead the story back then. They also quoted a source from UEFA who advised, “All we can say is that they [the sex aids] are not produced by Uefa.

Given Braemar Road JJ had broken the whole ‘Skillzy’ story, I felt duty bound to return the favour last night and introduce him to Super Victor. NOT like that. Get your minds out of the gutter. His own take was as special as last time: 

 That mascot really is taking a shocker but, mate- if there’s anything even more wrong than a mashup between Corey out of Slipknot and something from Japanese Kabuki theatre, it’s a six year old with a serious coke habit…

And, as ever, I can’t top that. JJ – here are the keys to the Last Word site. Over to you sir…

Nick Bruzon

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Super Victor – he’s no Buzzette. EURO 2016 is here

10 Jun

Finally. EURO 2016 is here. Kicking off tonight with France v Romania we are treated to a month of International football, with, amongst others, tomorrow’s hotly anticipated start for England (against Russia) sure to have fans gripped.  Brentford is feeling more Wild West than West London at present, with the frequency / quality of Bees related news available summed up in one word: tumbleweed . As such, the tournament cannot come soon enough.

But before it even begins, it seems there has been an own goal. Of sorts. Of course, the tournament has a mascot – Super Victor. Named following a vote in which 107,790 people took part, he secured 48% of the vote ahead of alternative names Driblou (25%) and Goalix (27%).

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Super Victor – you can also follow him on Twitter

All well and good. Granted he’s no Buzzette but, then again, who is ? Unfortunately, he’s more than just a mascot.

It seems that the figure who is sure to be plastered all over the tournament shares his name with what can only be described as a 5.5kg ‘industrial sized’ marital aid. If you look around Google (don’t look up – Super Victor Toy) or online adult ‘shopping sites’ (definitely don’t), please clear your search history. Nobody wants any embarrassing incidents in the name of research.

The Guardian are amongst those leading the story last night which, it seems, has been doing the rounds for sometime. They also quote a source from UEFA who has advised, “All we can say is that they [the sex aids] are not produced by Uefa.

Moving swiftly on from adult products, we’ve no further news in the hunt for the new Brentford shirt beyond Kitman Bob’s confirmation that any suggestion of next season’s top being akin to the recently released Sheffield United outfit was “not even close !!!” . Indeed, the “only similarity is red & wht”. Does this mean that black will be missing? Or just a reference to our main colours? Who knows? I’m just glad the Euros are here to distract.

The other Brentford related news (and trust me, this really is scraping the barrel) is a spot from fellow Kit enthusiast , Luis Adriano. You may have seem this already from earlier in the week but it still makes me chuckle. He stumbled across the following whilst searching for the mysterious green adidas shirt…..

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No caption needed

Much as I love Brentford, summer is always a tough time for us. We just don’t , normally, do ‘big’ news whilst the later than usual kit release is having us all hanging.

What a beautiful distraction this tournament promises to be. With Dave and Billy from  Beesotted already en-route , you can expect plenty of updates from the heart of the action. From these pages, you can expect plenty of nonsense from the heart of the sofa.

However you follow the action, enjoy.

Nick Bruzon