Tag Archives: The Krankies

Star Wars fans – please note. New cast; old ‘joke’

3 May

Dear Star Wars fans.

I love the same film series (Jar Jar Binks and Yoda aside) as you do and one day look forward to watching these with my son. I still have a Millennium Falcon toy somewhere in that attic although sadly, no original packaging and I am, genuinely, excited about the prospect of the next film in the series.

The recently published story about Episode 7’s cast, and the news that filming is imminent, has set internet nerds into meltdown. But, sadly, with every bit of renewed interest in the trilogy there is a downside – and more so at this time of the year.

This Saturday is the third of May. On Sunday as I, and most sane people know it, will be the fourth of May.

Instead Sci-fi geeks and lovers of crap jokery everywhere will, no doubt, be infecting my social media timeline with the hilarious ‘May the fourth be with you’ comment.

Even now, writing those horrible, horrible words, I can feel a little bit of sick rising to the back of my throat.



Even the good people at Lego are joining in

Please – I beg of you – it’s not too late. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, its not original and using this weak, weak pun does not make you into some 21st Century Oscar Wilde. It’s the sort of ‘joke’ used by people who find The Krankies or ‘Big Mouth Billy Bass’ ( ‘Take me to the river” – don’t tempt me) the height of cultural sophistication.

So this fourth of May, don’t play into the hands of the Globex Marketing corporation and further promote their Sci-Fi wares. If you really want to enjoy Star Wars then stick on Return of the Jedi, perhaps fast-forwarding through any Ewok related content.

Just don’t. Make. That. Joke.

Big Mouth Billy Bass – how we laughed.


Well done Wolves, push up Brentford and a soaking for Woking.

13 Apr

We need to start today by saying congratulations to Wolves. Whilst Brentford failed to pick up one of the two victories needed to secure promotion, our title rivals had no such problem in getting the three points they required.

Despite a mid season wobble that let Brentford back into the race, Wolves have been an excellent side and so deserve to end the campaign by going up rather than down (as has been the case for the previous two).

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.