Tag Archives: toilet

England expects as Brentford awaits. Plus your chance to create radio gold.

18 Jun

This is it. The World Cup has been going for almost a week but today is the day. The one we’ve been waiting for. After all the anticipation we finally get our glimpse of what is to come.  The Brentford FC away shirt launch. And over in Russia, England begin their campaign with a game against Tunisia in Volgograd. Yet with Germany going down to Mexico and draws for those others teams named as pre-tournament favourites – Spain, Argentina and Brazil – is this one another giant potato skin waiting to be slipped up on? Plus I’ve a very special radio related Twitter ask that will take you five seconds to help with but could provide audio gold.

First today, the Brentford away shirt. There’s not much can be said at present, given the club haven’t released any images beyond a teaser photo that (unlike last season) has so far defied all manner of photoshop manipulation. So instead, it’s a case of having to wait until 10am when we get our look at the 2018/19 second choice kit. Not forgetting the goalkeepers, either.

All we know so far is that as happened two years ago, the fans have been involved in the photo shoot. Along with the current squad and some former heroes. David Hunt has already appeared (confusing many of our younger supporters) whilst I gather we may also see Marcus Gayle at some point. Beyond that though, your guess is as good as the supporter next to you. This one really has been kept under wraps. See you back here at 10am for first thoughts.

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David Hunt – the biggest come back since Lazarus

Next up, the World Cup. England expects and all that. But does it? The build up to the tournament has been as relaxed and low key as I can ever remember. There don’t seem to have been the wall-to-wall adverts, cheesy player–promos or petrol station squad coins to get us excited in the build up as we’ve had in previous camapigns. Quarter finals at best is the general expectation for England and, as such, it really seems to be a case of pressure off. From there, anything is possible.

I can’t tell you too much about Tunisia beyond what I’ve seen in my son’s (definitely his) Panini sticker album. The BBC fact page tells us that they qualified undefeated, have lost only once this year (a 1-0 defeat against Spain) and will likely be hard to breakdown. So a journey into the unknown for many of us although you be sure Gareth Southgate will have done his homework.

With the team already picked, all you have to do is get in for 7pm, switch the TV to BBC and pray that Mark Lawrenson hasn’t been selected for punditry duties. The only other down side about tonight is likely to be ‘that band’. Yesterday’s article and survey has produced an interesting reaction on Twitter, whilst the vote is clearly leaning one way – although perhaps not as heavily as one might have expected. There’s a few hours to go if you want to go for it.

Ok – my next twitter ‘ask’ involves the radio. Any regular reader to these pages will likely be aware that it is generally tuned to Absolute Radio in our house. Likewise, former breakfast show host Christian O’Connell played a key role in the ‘Is Cameron Diaz a Brentford supporter?’ reveal a few years back. That was then. This is now. The OC has moved to Australia and his co-host Richie Firth is due to start a brand new ‘Home time’ show with Everton fan Andy Bush in September.

I say brand new. One feature is in the pipeline to follow Richie – his 6.50am ‘Hitler’s Toilet’. Something both intriguing yet, at times, awful. But awful in a ‘so bad its good’ style. Think Nicolas Cage in ‘Drive Angry’.  Always compelling, it is radio gold.  A chance to pick up on a ’water cooler’ moment of a story that the mainstream media are yet to run with. Usually for good reason. Anything from mundane top-tens put together by companies desperately flogging their wares to the latest sighting of over-sized rats living in the sewers or some scientific breakthrough such as the imminent arrival of flying taxis.

Whilst I appreciate I’m not doing this justice, hearing is believing. 10,000 Retweets saves the feature. Please. Do me a favour. Click the below, share the tweet and save the toilet.

And finally, I just wanted to offer a HUGE thanks to all those who have downloaded one of the season review e-books to date. With all proceeds raised going towards the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust, I can’t say how grateful I am to our fans. Don’t forget also that if you do this before the end of June, I’ll put you into the draw to win an exclusive ‘third’ shirt given to me by a source close to the club – just DM / tweet me your download confirmation mail so as I can add your name.

Ten Times Better. Brentford FC Season review: 2017/18. Inspired by ‘that’ interview it contains the least bad of these columns in one, handy volume as it looks at our own campaign as well as wider divisional life and the promotion / relegation races.

As a bonus there’s a whole host of new material. New that is, for my pages. Specifically, all the programme articles submitted (both home and away where, if nothing else, you can get the original versions of both Birmingham City and Millwall).

In addition, There Is No Plan B. Brentford FC Season reviews: 2013/14 – 2017/18 takes us all the way back to the start of this latest leg in the journey. That penalty. League One. Harlee Dean was a hero. Jota was something we thought happened to the temperature for one week in July. Alan Judge had joined on loan whilst the Marinus Experiment was something nobody had contemplated. Bringing things bang up to date by the inclusion of this year’s volume alongside the four previously published campaign round ups, it has five seasons in one weighty tome. As weighty as a download can be, that is.

Relive the memories. See how often the same material gets regurgitated. Remind yourself about the likes of Betinho, Martin Fillo, Javi Venta and Marcos Tebar. Pinch yourself at just how far we have come in such a short space of time.

Nick Bruzon

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Bees take the points, again (but who takes a tumble dryer to the toilet?)

14 Dec

What a difference a few days make. From going into the weekend off the back of ‘that’ run, Brentford have come back from their midweek trip to Bristol City with another win (1-0) in the back pocket. 6 points from 6 and confidence surely surging for the trip to Leeds United on Saturday (a team who themselves made it 6 from 8  – wins, that is – as they tightened their position in the play off zone with a 2-0 defeat of third placed Reading).

Was I there? No. Did I listen? No. A Christmas party at work in which, of course, good behaviour was the order of the day (no unorthodox use of a photocopier here) meant that match oversight has been limited to a series of mid-game updates via WhatsApp – other messaging services are, apparently, available.

But what updates.

In order, these included:

A picture of something that looked like a slimmed down version of the infamous Brentford funky bee with a traffic cone in place of the customary proboscis.

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Answers on a postcard, please

“Great work by Dean to keep a cool head and clear that”. (I’m presuming Harlee rather than Mr Smith.)

“Tomlin v Woods is the most hilarious short angry man battle”

“Gooooaaaallll”

“Hogan’s movement has been fantastic all night”

“FT. 0-1”

(Just) coming in from work later that night, internal monologue performing that world cup staple as scores were rechecked again to confirm exactly what had happened,  the next place to go was the video highlights. And, as ever, the BBC match report.

Both confirmed the win for Brentford, the chances created by Scott Hogan and caught the goal – a shot from distance via the boot of Romaine Sayers and (scarily)  the backside of Maxime Colin.

Scarily, you may ask? Ok – so nobody has asked but forgive me a brief indulgence. It was only yesterday that this column noted : “Create enough chances and, eventually, things will go in your favour. Something will go in off a defender’s backside.

That’ll be the same column suggesting a return for Tom Field. Sometimes, even this numpty on the terrace can get lucky.  It was a goal described later by Dean (Smith), saying : ”I think the ball went in off Maxime Colin’s backside. Sometimes you need a bit of luck to record victories in the Championship and he will want the goal, even though it was a fantastic strike by Romaine.”

He likes his luck, does our head coach. Still, if it continues going in our favour then I’ll take that over ‘blips’ and ’skill sets’. Although, equally, perhaps a more conventional goal scoring Plan B than via  a defender’s derrière would probably come in handy, too.

Still, if that’s the worst we’ve got to worry about then one can only take the points and run. Special mention, too, for Tom Field. His third league appearance for the Bees saw his third win. That’s not a bad start to any footballing career.

Now the big question is one of whether he can he make it four in a row at Leeds United? On Saturday, those of us who have taken out a second mortgage (£37 – wow !), find out .

Nick Bruzon

Actually, there is one more big question. Whilst I may have missed the game, the aforementioned office party threw up a brain teaser of its own. Namely, who uses a tumble dryer in a toilet? My thoughts, too, yet this was the sign on the inside of the bathroom.

Anybody? Anybody…..?

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Answers on a postcard, please