Can anyone beat Droid Owusu? Are these the three best videos ever?

With Brentford facing home games against both Fulham (cup) and Preston North End (league) in the next few days, there’s going to be a whole load of on-pitch stuff to talk about between now and Monday morning. So for now, there a bit of a round up regarding season tickets – admin and humour. Plus, because we can, the latest in the series of ‘spotter denied’ videos. Something which is nothing to do with football but always worth a watch – even if it did see legions of Harry Potter fans (the boy wizard rather than the green-jacketed super fan) left distraught. Stop sniggering.

Brentford’s own Harry Potter

First up, season tickets. Friday October 2nd is the deadline to ‘Freeze. Reserve. Refund’.  Whilst, for many, the first option is the most practical, individual circumstances may well be different. These are tough times for many. As such I guess this is as much a note to remind supporters that the default option for taking no action will be ‘Freeze’, with all the associated benefits of course.

The club have sent reminder emails whilst anybody with questions can either email tickets@brentfordfc.com with your query or call our Box Office team on 0333 005 8521 and they will be happy to assist you. Not my words etc but I’m sure it is true. Our ticket office have been one of the standout areas of supporter service in recent years.

Option selected

There is also a third option, our new ‘chatbot’. Cripes, I hate these things normally. The shame faced attempt to lure you into the belief you are talking-to a human being when, infact, it’s nothing more than series of computer generated responses designed to match up to common questions. Hurrah for algorithms. Said nobody ever.

Brentford official have now gone down this route too but there’s no pretence. Quite the opposite. We’re advertising it. And how. There’s a quite magnificent thread on Twitter, asking supporters to come up with a name for our own in-house ‘bot’. Why we need to name it I’ve no idea, beyond awareness, but it has spawned a quite magnificent thread of bot-based bad Bees punnery. Whilst blowing my own trumpet, I defy even Jim Levack at his Middlesex Chronicle big book of 80s alliteration best to beat that one.

But , as ever, its all about substance rather than headline. And what substance. For me, Clive, the stand out contenders are.

Mark Chatman 

Murray Drones

Botinho

Droid Owusu

Johnny 5 – Birmingham 0

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Chatman get it. Great wordplay and as popular a name in recent times as Ollie Botkins or anyone else associated with the club.  Botinho is magnificent, too, although there’s a danger it would only run for 13 minutes then disappear without a trace. Murray Drones is probably more one for the grown ups (and remember kids, don’t have nightmares) whilst Droid Owusu deserves it on merit alone. Quite brilliant. 

As Tom Arron noted on Twitter: Someone said Droid Owusu? They win.

The full thread is here. Help yourself and why not play along too? Is it too late for me to add Harry Botter?

Got a question regarding the Season Ticket Holder options? Ask our new chatbot here

👉 https://t.co/lqS4CTQnrF

We need your help naming our bot, we’ll start you off with 'Robot Taylor' 🤖

Comment below 👇#BrentfordFC pic.twitter.com/0H6B5tINRc

— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) September 29, 2020

Next up, Harry Potter. Or, rather, Potter fans. We’re all, I am sure, with the trainspotter denied orgasm video. One of the all time classic YouTube clips, there is no explanation required. All I’ll say is to wait for the exasperated cry of “bollocks” before anything even comes into view. You can hear the anticipation falling off a cliff.

Another video has started doing the rounds now of something similar happening up in Scotland. The chance to see the ‘Hogwarts Express’ was denied fans of the popular children’s character when another commuter service got in the way. If only they could make the 18.26 to Edinburgh disappear….

The unedited version pic.twitter.com/Bfm636VfJK

— Andy Miller (@andy_m1ller) September 29, 2020

To this series of shorts, we’ve also been sent this one. From the States. The moment the historic (apparently) Georgia Dome was demolished. With onlookers all set to capture the moment for posterity, a bus pulls up to…. well, just take a look.

They’re nothing to do with football, of course, but sometimes you just need to realise that however bad life feels, there’s always somebody else having their day ruined. With Griffin Park now in line for a similar fate at some point, will the first swing of the wrecking ball be recorded forever or caught behind an Amazon delivery truck?

To be honest, I’d rather not think about it. Perhaps let’s just rewatch Potter once more.

Nick Bruzon

Bees come a sloppy second to Blackburn. Get me out of here…

Blackburn Rovers 3 Brentford 2. The scoreline does’t even begin to sum up a frustrating result after the Bees had taken the lead with barely half a minute of the game gone. That we then conspired to present our hosts with three goals (and no complaints about them for taking their chances – you can only put away what is in front of you) is something out of character with the Bees and hugely disappointing.

Equally, though, with still almost an hour to play at 3-2 down Brentford had plenty of time to salvage something. Instead, the records will show that we managed 3 shots on target all game.

Listen, I’ve no issue with holding up my hands and knowing when we’ve not deserved a thing. Look at our last home game, against Fulham, and then look away fast. There was no creativity and nothing to inspire. At least this time Dean loaded his team for attack, gave Romaine Sawyers a break for the first time this season and it paid immediate dividends. Lasse Vibe releasing Scott Hogan who sprung the offside trap and ran clear on goal to make it 1-0 Brentford after a mere 33 seconds.

Likewise, Hogan’s second, to level things up at 2-2, was the culmination of a beautiful move around the Blackburn midfield that ended with the striker taking his total to ten Championship goals for the season. With parity restored at 2-2 after just a half hour, and headline writers preparing the phrase ‘goal fest’ surely we were back in the driving seat? But no. Sloppiness followed just as sloppiness had preceded.

Sam Gallagher had been earmarked as the man to watch prior to this one but it was Danny Graham who took advantage of the huge holes in the Brentford defence to equalise on the quarter hour. It was marking that would have embarrassed a league two club, let alone a tier two Championship team, and the goal machine made no mistake. Five minutes later, he’d doubled his tally and given the home side the lead from the penalty spot. It looked a pretty innocuous challenge on the TV in what were slippery conditions – just check out the skid marks – but referee Chris Kavanagh had no hesitation and the penalty was dispatched perfectly.

Bees hit the skids – did snow trail make it look worse than it was?

As for the winning goal though. The tales of Brentford centre-backs putting it past their own goalkeeper are legion. I’m not going to moan at Harlee Dean – the defensive o.g. has happened so many times before and will no doubt happen again. Indeed the biggest crime was even giving the ball away in the first instance, with the Bees in a very safe position on the half way line and taking it forward. Suddenly we were under pressure and paid the ultimate price as the ball was swept into the box.

Those of us watching back home could only mutter under the breath as this one popped up on the Sky Sports scrolly thing. Those of us wearing anoraks could only smile at the thought of Renton scoring in Edinburgh. At least one team displaying a lust for life there.

The highlights of this one are on Sky now. Alternatively, if you prefer to see whether Mark Burridge and the team can salvage anything from the game, then there are double length highlights on Bees Player now we’ve got past the 12pm curfew.

Is it any better with Mark at the helm?

As for any more of an in-depth report,  regular readers know the drill. The BBC, Brentford official or Beesotted are your places. When even official lead with : Lasse vibe on “sloppy” defeat to Blackburn Rovers then it’s fairly safe to know what you are going to get.

Besides, yours truly wasn’t even allowed anywhere near Channel 5 for the highlights last night, with the remote control having been commandeered for watching Carol Vordeman (who seems to have been rebuilt more than the Brentford defence) and Danny Baker subtly attempting to wind up a daytime TV property ‘expert’.

An act which, if we’re being honest, they largely succeeded at under the watchful eyes of Ant and Dec. If only we’d had such acumen but alas it wasn’t to be. Then again, the thought of Harlee making a meal of pig’s anus or Sam Saunders standing in an oversized fish tank with an eel merging from his shorts are not the sort of images I particularly want so perhaps we park that analogy here, with apologies.

Can there be any positives from that? And by which I mean the Blackburn game rather than ‘I’m a celebrity’… ? Well, you have to start with two wonderfully taken goals. Scott Hogan is now in double figures in the Championship, level with Glenn Murray and just one behind Dwight Gayle at Newcastle United.With the Repulic of Ireland reportedly sniffing around, he is very much the ‘man of the moment’ in the Championship. January could be stressful..

Equally, at least, we can sleep that bit easier knowing that the media team won’t be dusting off the #Novemberkings moniker which was so cringe worthily chucked around during our first Championship season.

Beyond that though, it is a case of slim pickings. On a snowy day we weren’t even granted that rare treat of an orange ball. Instead, the mid-winter yellow version is deemed sufficient and I fear that really could be it now for this nostalgic favourite. Unless, of course, the FA Cup can produce something magical.

Is the combination of snow and orange ball now a thing of the past?

So what next for the Bees? A win would be nice, for one thing. That wonderful victory over QPR has been our only real bright spark in a 7(seven) game run that has otherwise seen four defeats and two 0-0 draws.

Tablewise, we are now just into the bottom half. Five points shy of the play-off zone and six ahead of the basement clubs. With Blackburn, Wigan and surely doomed Rotherham United (already 11 points and vastly inferior goal difference off safety) still occupying those places, that’s not even a situation worth contemplating .

Yet, equally, complacency won’t win you games or keep you up. Look at Newcastle United last season. And Aston Villa. No club is too safe or too big to go down. Keep losing and that’ll happen. Not anything to worry about for now, that’s for sure, but a swift return to winning ways will be a good thing.

As the interview with Dean Smith on Brentford official noted:

Next Saturday The Bees return to Griffin Park to host Gary Rowett’s Birmingham City with Dean saying that he wants to see a response after consecutive losses.

“Next week’s game takes on extra importance because, after back to back defeats, we have to bounce back,” said Dean. “

Never a truer word and so important it had to be mentioned twice..

Nick Bruzon