Barcelona lose the plot as Sam wins Twitter for German Bees

Brentford are in Germany. FC Barcelona have totally lost the plot. Sam Saunders has come out with the all time best ever tweet. Those are pretty much the highlights from a day that saw The Bees travelling to their summer training camp.

As at the time of writing (Sunday 7am), we are still waiting on the first entry from Peter Gilham’s tour diary to bring us up to speed on the latest from the squad. Whilst it’s probably a bit early to expect him to be putting pen to paper, at least there was plenty out there yesterday to keep us updated on social media.

I believe ‘Snapchat’ may have pictures whilst both @BrentfordFC Twitter and the hashtag #GermanyBees are the place for further information and images. Likewise do check the club figures where, amongst others, Kitman Bob has been on his usual prolific form.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have no idea who drives Brentford ‘official’. Is it an individual, a shared responsibility or ‘car keys in a bowl’ to see who gets the password? However, it definitely seems to have been on the up in recent months following some of those earlier dabbles with, what we’ll politely call, dubious hashtags (hopefully the likes of #trophyfriends and #bignewambitions will remain nothing but an odd memory).

Yesterday saw the ‘good’ side of official continue with, amongst other things, a series of photos that surely provide the basis for a caption competition in weeks to come.

This, being my particular favourite – both for the image and the curiosity as to what had elicited such a response.

If anybody has any suggestions/captions then please feel free to add as a comment and we’ll print them tomorrow.

“I even saw one guess that we’ll be playing in red and white stripes next season”

If Brentford are on good form with Twitter (and hold on Sam Saunders fans, we will get there) it would be fair to say that over in Spain things aren’t going quite so well. The famous terrace chant may once have declared us to be : The Barcelona of the lower leagues but the Catalan Giants seem hellbent on rebranding themselves the Brentford of La Liga. When it comes to hashtags, that is.

With the story of multi-millionaire Lionel Messi being found guilty of tax evasion this week, heavily fined and sentenced to 21 months in jail (a term he will not have to serve ??!) all over the media, Barca have looked to do something to counter the stories and subsequent rumours flying around. However, what they have come out with is something utterly disrespectful to anybody how has ever worked a day in their life (assuming they’ve paid their tax).

Rather than hold up his hands to say, “Sorry, it’s a far cop guv, you’ve got me bang to rights” they’ve gone the other way. Supporters have been asked to show their support by posting a message or photo with both hands open, accompanied by the hashtag : #WeAreAllLeoMessi

I’m not sure what support they expect people to be offering a convicted fraudster. Surely now is the time for a spot of contrition or just lying low? Even the choice of phrase had a rather distasteful similarity to the ‘Je Suis Charlie’ reference that helped people show unity after the January 2015 terrorist attacks in France. When Jimmy Carr suddenly has the moral high ground in the tax evasion stakes then you know things are bad.

Personally, I followed their request to the letter and came up with this.

Per @FCBarcelona : Use hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi and post a photo with both hands open. Ok, if you insist… pic.twitter.com/MOL9LmUvES

— Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon) July 9, 2016

It wasn’t just me. The response to #We AreAllLeo Messi was almost universally scathing. If you are bored today then do take a look at the hashtag to see the latest. Failing that, here are but a smattering  :

How is the hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi trending? I thought the majority of the population pay tax.

— John (@johnthemascot) July 9, 2016

 

If you're reluctant to pay tax on your half million pounds per week. This is the hashtag for you! #WeAreAllLeoMessi https://t.co/a2QjeMO3Pe

— Adam Devlin (@ad_I_am) July 9, 2016

#WeAreAllLeoMessi – Oh wait, we’re not, because we pay our taxes and he quite clearly doesn't. He’s not the victim. Shameful from Barcelona.

— Liam Canning (@OffsideLiam) July 9, 2016

from now on, this will be known as the tax evader emoji 🤗 #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Jack Grimse (@JackGrimse) July 9, 2016

If #WeAreAllLeoMessi, why am I eating 2-day-old pizza leftovers out of the fridge?

— Howler Magazine (@whatahowler) July 9, 2016

All good, but for a Bees related slant this one nails it for me:

It comes to something when #brentfordfc aren't responsible for a shit hashtag #WeAreAllLeoMessi

— Mr Gray (@DeloreanGray) July 9, 2016

And relax.

“Oh Sammy Saunders you are the love of my life. Oh Sammy Saunders I’d let you (have relations with) my wife.”

Not my words but… Actually, they are my words along with those of close to 10,000 other Brentford supporters in honour of the perma-tanned wing-wizard, swim short magnate and terrace hero. Week in, week out the song is sung to our wonderful number 7 (seven). And rightly so.

So despite all the Barcelona related nonsense on twitter yesterday, it was none other than Sam who pretty much closed the social media network down as any form of contest.

This, when asked for some inspirational words ahead of a supporter’s impending nuptials…

@samsaunders7 best m8 gets wed 2day,massive bees fan,cld u send back a msge 4me 2read in me speech please?

— TomPDavies (@Tom_P83) July 9, 2016

Now she's your wife remember "the song" now applies 😂👍🏻 https://t.co/qofhJ2CEXR

— Sam Saunders (@samsaunders7) July 9, 2016

I can’t beat that. Nobody can. We may aswell just give it up now. Peter Gilham has got a tough act following Sam when his tour diary comes out.

Nick Bruzon 

And finally…. :   The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. For all the info, the highs, the lows, more highs then  you can do so now.

Its been a wonderful three years. Here’s to more of the same over 2016/17. Thanks, as ever, for reading.

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The Brentford ‘be@*d club’ gains and loses a member

Matthew Benham’s latest cryptic clue has been revealed as the much rumoured transfer target, Yoann Barbet. The signing of the French centre back from Chamois Niortais was announced on Thursday, scotching any lingering worries that former QPR ‘character’ Joey Barton would be joining the Bees.

The retrospective unraveling of the video hint, the ‘It’s just the three of us’ scene from the film Barton Fink, has best been interpreted as a reference to the three Frenchmen now at Griffin Park – Toumani Diagouraga and Raphaël Calvet being the other two. It’s not without good reason these (the clues rather than the players)  are described as cryptic although if Matthew was going down that route, was there a case for ‘Three Men and a Barbet’, perhaps?

 

To read the rest of this article, season 2015/16 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full, as :   Ready. Steady. Go Again. : Brentford FC season review 2015 – 2016

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, it’s the annual clean up to make more space on the site for the inevitable follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

But wait, like all the best infomercials, there’s more. The last three seasons of the Last Word : Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup; Tales from the football village and Ready. Steady. Go Again are also available in one combined volume as: 

Brentford Football Club – The Bees are going up. Season reviews: 2013/14, 2014/15 & 2015/16 

We did. And we still are ! 

 

Official twitter strikes again

 

Richard Lee gives exclusive update on his move as Twitter goes ‘to war’

Was it Juniors Bees work experience time on the club twitter account yesterday?

As the news of Richard Lee’s move from Brentford to Fulham sunk in (and you can read his exclusive thoughts on this subject, which he gave last night, further on in this column), the club did it’s very best to make (trophy)friends and influence people.

The irony of joking only yesterday about a media team related ‘faux pas’ was not lost after multiple news sources picked up on our tête-à-tête in cyberspace with Fulham.

I have wondered previously who drives the club twitter account after the cringeworthy #trophyfriends and #Novemberkings (amongst others). Every effort we make to be taken seriously on the pitch is undermined by this sort of childish update off it. The only positive being that, whilst these were something I’d have expected Buzzette to come out with, at least they were nothing more than harmless embarrassment and certainly no malice involved.

But then there was Holt-gate. January 2015 saw Chief sports writer of the Daily Mirror, Oliver Holt, left somewhat frustrated by the response to his article on Stephen Hunt. It led him to publically question, amongst other things, “Is it a new kind of anti-PR that you’re pioneering at Brentford?” following (since deleted) feedback he would later describe as “a strange volley of tweets”.

But now we’ve gone(again?) and bettered this after taking a pop at Fulham, the club that we chose to loan Richard to. In what could be described as, at best a factual dig and at worst a direct taunt, the club Twitter account ran the headline..

Bees fire first shot

Don’t get me wrong, as a supporter I think it’s hilarious to see them struggling and I take a lot of pleasure from their predicament.The Loftus Road mob, too. But the difference is that I’m a supporter, not a professional football club.

To have a dig at a fellow team, when we are constantly preaching about respect on the pitch, seems a tad hypocritical. If for no other reason that these things have a habit of coming back to haunt you .

Still, whilst their one word response of “Bless” was as patronising as we had been at least that was an end to it. Five minutes of ‘fun’ that would pass by and that would be that.

Except it wasn’t – we only went and published another response. And to make it worse, a meme…..

Memes – bad enough at the best of times

Toes are curling now as I think about this. Any moral high ground had instantly been undone but, worse, turned the eyes of the media towards Brentford with a series of unflattering headlines.

“Brentford mock Championship strugglers Fulham”, said the London Evening Standard.

The Daily Mirror had a simple: “Brentford and Fulham go to war on Twitter”

The Daily Mail and even Get West London both ran stories referring to: “Brentford involved/embroiled in Twitter spat”.

There’s a common trend to the stories still dominating our news feed today

At a time when the club are pushing for the Premiership and need all the friends we can get (given our publicised ground issues should we make it), do we really want this to be the public perception of Brentford FC?

Perhaps I’m just overreacting but we’ve seen this sort of thing time and again. How hard can it be to keep things professional and ‘grown up’ on our social media?

At the least, if we are going to try and show a sense of humour then let’s do it without resorting to making fun of another club. A club who, don’t forget, will be keeping one of our players ‘match fit’ and whom we may need to call upon at the end of season should we make the play offs.

Even if that other club is Fulham.

Which brings us nicely on to the story that started all of this, Richard Lee’s loan move to The Cottage. Not surprisingly, this has generated all manner of reaction amongst supporters – some parts positive, others not so.

Football is an emotive subject at the best of times, let alone when you add in a club hero moving to our local rivals where, in all likelihood, he will see out his career. Whilst I may not agree with all that has been said, the real shame is that Richard’s great performances in five years at Griffin Park seem to have been overlooked amidst the noise.

People are, naturally, curious as to what has driven his decision to make this move and a lot of questions have been asked. I caught up with Richard last night where he was kind enough to provide this update for supporters as to what had prompted this:

Richard Lee speaks

Hello all,

A mixtures of messages over the past 24 hours which I was well aware would happen so rather than answer individual questions / criticism i’ll give you my thoughts as to why I’m making the loan move.

I didn’t make the decision to move lightly.‎ I’ve been a pro for 14 years and I am sad that it’s drawing to a close. I’m excited for the next chapter but I’m aware that once it’s over, it’s over.

Unexpectedly I’ve been offered one last challenge that excites me and I’ve decided to take it.

As much as I’m enjoying the day to day activity of training and winning the odd development game I play in at Brentford it doesn’t really give me a huge buzz. I’m doing all I can as a third choice ‘keeper but I don’t feel hugely part of what has been an incredible season and now I feel I have an opportunity to be more involved and make a difference somewhere. ‎I’m grateful to Fulham for offering me that chance.

If certain people are going to ‘disown’ me and disregard my achievements to date then I’m sorry you feel that way about me. I’ve always given everything to Brentford and will continue to watch our games for years to come – If I get turned away at the door then i’ll just have to live with that.

I’ve been heartened by the positive messages from friends, fellow pros and those who know me.

I’ve got just over a month left that will hopefully offer up some excitement and a nice challenge. I’ll then return ready if needed, as sharp as possible for the play offs if that is to be our destiny.

I do this with no spite towards Brentford FC – ‎I’m doing this for me.

Rich x

Analysing the statement – what does it mean and what next?

After the week of media tumbleweed, ‘the statement’ was finally released and, with it, the much expected news that Mark Warburton, David Weir and Sporting Director Frank McParland are to leave Brentford at the end of the season. With Bournemouth due at Griffin Park on Saturday, one would hope that this will now help steady the ship following the debacle at Charlton Athletic and earlier loss to Watford. The instant the club failed to back Warbs when the story first broke but, instead, chose to release that gubbins about “The football village” (something that will go down in modern day TW8 folklore along with:

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further on.

Matthew Benham was back on Twitter with a great, new look

We go again (but not on my watch). I blame the anti-Clem

Huddersfield Town hung on to a 2-1 win over Brentford on Saturday as the Bees missed their chance to top the Championship table. In the end, impressive victories for both Derby County and Ipswich Town, who ran up 7(seven) goals between them, meant that even had we triumphed this opportunity would have remained a pipe dream anyway. But to be even talking about this scenario twenty games into the campaign still seems to be the stuff of comic books.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of pre-season

“Championship. Championship. Here come the Bees in the Championship”. Not my words but those of Billy Reeves and Bee Faction in their promotion celebrating, ‘Hey Brentford’ song. Still available on free download, this terrace anthem has been my earworm for most of the summer.

And thankfully so, with the gap from promotion to the Championship an excruciating wait. Fortunately, this has been just one of numerous distractions to keep me occupied.

Some bad : the departure of Clayton Donaldson, the leak of the away kit and the most cringeworthy tweet to ever come out of ‘official’ channels. I have no idea who ‘drives’ @brentfordfc on Twitter but the reaction to the phrase ‘#trophyfriends’ was one of almost universal embarrassment.

Please – NEVER again

Still, that was very much the thin end of the wedge and there have been more positives to focus on than I could shake a stick at.

So here they are: the top ten moments of the close season

10: The play offs. An odd place to start, especially given our track record, but wasn’t it great to watch the annual torture session at the W place with so much direct interest for Brentford? Who from Rotherham or Leyton Orient would be joining us next season and who would suffer that ultimate kick in the knackers? Likewise, could Uwe do us a huge favour and keep the Loftus Road mob in the Championship.

In the end, it was Rotherham who celebrated like they’d won the FA Cup and Wigan Athletic who will be visiting Griffin Park for the final game of 2014/15

9: Pre-season friendlies. A complete contrast to last season where, instead of a full priced game against a Celtic reserve side, whose support were allowed free reign of Griffin Park, we’ve got visits from the continent. There could even be a smattering of World Cup stars present as both Nice and Espanyol visit, with tickets starting form as little as £5 for adults. Great work.

8: The World Cup. Putting England to one side, it has been a stunning diversion from the pain of pre-season. From the second day destruction of Spain by the Netherlands right up to the hosts being on the wrong end of a 7(seven)-1 semi-final bracketing, this has really been captivating stuff. The likes of Algeria and Costa Rica have helped demonstrate that cup football is one of the most exciting sports on the planet – moreso when there is this much in such a short space of time.

The World Cup gave us plenty to chew over

7: Diaries. Peter Gilham’s tour diary is always a great read. A fascinating view behind the curtain as to what really makes up a pre-season training camp – for both the players and the backroom staff. Moreso, it’s a sign that the campaign is almost upon us.

Always a great read

6: The roof is finally covered. At last. They squatted in TW8 for longer than the Kew Bridge ‘Eco village’ but Qatar Airways have finally been evicted from the roof of the Bill Axbey stand on New Road. We await news as to who replaces them with intrigue.

Going.Going.Gone

5: Team morale. It seems stunning. What goes on tour doesn’t necessarily stay on tour, when it comes to Brentford. Sam Saunders car wash, wearing nothing more than flip flops and three marigolds, and Harlee Dean being slapped in the face with a wet fish by Will Grigg are both videos I never thought I’d see. But am very glad I have

4: That moment when news sources recognise us. We know we’re a Championship team but others, outside of West London, are not always so quick to keep tabs. So when the likes of ‘News now’ move the Bees to their Championship page or the BBC have us as sitting in the new League table, it put a little tingle up the spine

3: Ticket prices. These increased, but marginally. The price rise was a token one and nowhere near the amount I would have expected from a club with a limited capacity (relative to our rivals) and now playing in a higher division. This really was a bold decision and they have been instantly rewarded with over 5000 sales. Thank you!

2: Mark Devlin’s strip tease. Of course, I mean the teaser campaign that has led to the unveiling of our home kit. I liked this idea – despite my desperation to see the ‘full reveal’ – and we’ve been rewarded with a great shirt. The away shirt, in particular, aside from the cracking design spec, achieves that rare feat of making the stick on sponsor’s logo look marginally acceptable. And when that happens, you know something good must be happening.

The family friendly strip tease

1: The Fixture list. If there was one thing to crank up excitement about next season, it is the moment when the fixtures are revealed. Away trips can be planned, Christmas is saved with a home fixture on Boxing Day and Uwe visits on the last day of the (hopefully) regular season. Oh, and there’s a return of the derby against Fulham

And if you need any reminder of how we got here, ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s 2013/14 promotion campaign, amongst other football related chatter) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from last season, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

The most bizarre tweet since records began.

Brentford are up and Rotherham United have joined them. Great news for us and Steve Evans’ ‘Millers’, if not for Leyton Orient.

Whilst there was a lot of banter over the course of the season (and rightly so), now’s the time to sit back and enjoy the moment rather than kicking our rivals when they are down. Indeed, the club seem to have followed the former course of action with a very unusual post on the twitter social network.

There’s nothing wrong with congratulating a fellow promoted team and, from that respect, another good job from Brentford. It was more the peculiar ‘hashtag’ that went with it: #trophyfriends.

I have no idea what this means or why we would even use it. I’m sorry. Perhaps I’ve had the same charisma bypass that one Bees fanatic would later suggest that Leyton Orient supporter @orientmeatpie had endured. But assuming not (and for that, I guess, you’d need some charisma to begin with), then what is it all about?

Amongst the confused comments and general derision – most from Brentford fans – was the suggestion from Mr. Pie that an ‘Inbetweeners’ moment was imminent.

Well, it’s here if you need one:

 

I know we are all in good humour about promotion but we are, also, a professional football club. I want us to be taken seriously – not laughed at as ‘little Brentford’ now playing with the big boys and using the sort of childish language that you’d find in the playground.

I don’t even know what a ‘trophyfriend’ is supposed to be or why we would consider ourselves one. The last time I looked (and £50 at 12-1 before the season began meant I was watching VERY closely) we didn’t win anything – friends and promotion aside.

And whilst I have had more than my fair share of digs at Russell Slade over the course of the season, I can empathise with the pain that Orient fans are feeling right now. Remember last season? So, unlike some of our fans, I’m not going to have a pop at them for, rightly, laughing at our ridiculous choice of phrase.

Come on fellow Bees, we’re better than that. I can’t imagine this is the image Matthew Benham wants for his club – but then what do I know?

Now? Are we friends?