A question of kit. Could we? Should we?

The spectre of fixture reshuffling for TV hangs heavy once again. “Our match away to Manchester United has been moved to Monday May 2. This game will kick-off at 8pm at Old Trafford. Fans should note that this date is subject to Manchester United’s involvement in the UEFA Champions League Semi-Final”. Not my words. The words of Brentford official. At the same time confirming that the home game with Tottenham Hotspur on 23rd April has had kick off pushed back to 5.30pm. Again, subject to potential European fixtures . Much like January’s game in Liverpool, the date is now locked in. Unless cup football gets in the way. Nothing like looking out for the fans although, at least, the risk of Manchester United being further moved has disappeared as quickly as it was announced. Tuesday night’s defeat at home to Atlético Madrid just hours after the TV announcement means that interest in this season’s European competition is well and truly over. Elsewhere, with Leicester City next up for Brentford, we look to that game aswell as mulling over a possible kit ‘first’ for the Bees.

More to follow, below

First up, TV. For Brentford it’s the sort of ‘nice’ problem to have. A club in demand and a further reminder that we’re a Premier League team. Sometimes, its still a case of a self-administered pinch to remind ourselves we’re in the top flight. Such has been the journey to get here over the years. Yet here we are. Deserving of our place and back on form. Ivan Toney banging them in for fun and Christian Eriksen fast carving himself a place in club history.

His signing could end up being the shrewdest, boldest move of the Premier League season. His impact has been immediate. Burnley and Norwich carved open. Less canaries, more turkeys. But hey, enough about the commentators. Eriksen’s reward being an immediate recall to the Denmark squad announced yesterday for the games with the Netherlands and Serbia later this month. If he carries on at this rate the queue to secure his longer term signature over the summer is going to be a long one. Of course, I’d love it to be with Brentford but that choice is going to be down to the player and bigger powers than the aspirations of one supporter with his head in the clouds.

Then again the lure of our set up, Thomas Frank and the welcome received so far may talk louder than any dumper truck full of cash offered up by other clubs. You never know…

Christian Eriksen – had a blinder against Burnley

Until then, we’ve got the trip to Leicester City this Sunday. A 2pm kick off (again, European football getting in the way) with no official TV coverage. Presumably those unable to get a ticket for the sold out away end may find a means to circumnavigate technologies ‘The Internet’ for live streaming.

The focus on Sunday will be in Brentford maintaining the winning run. In seeing if Ivan Toney can keep up that goal scoring form that sees him up to fifth in the Premier League goal scoring charts. His eleven for the season see our man one behind Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United), Sadio Mané and Diogo Jota (both Liverpool) in joint second place and level with Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min (Spurs). Not bad company to be keeping and with only Mohamed Salah above them (cripes, its no wonder Liverpool are still in the title race with that amount of firepower), the calls for Ivan to be selected for England are starting to grow. Whether they are answered at this point remains to be seen but, if nothing else, the national team’s historic form in penalty shoot outs alone suggests his eventual selection is inevitable.

Sunday also sees another coming together with pantomime villain James Maddison. He may aswell have turned up in a top hat, cape and sporting a waxed moustache when the Foxes visited Lionel Road back in October. His full-time admission that “I want to be the villain,” …“it makes it all the sweeter when I score up that end.”  Further endearing him to Brentford fans whose skin he’d spent the entire game getting under with his theatrics. Then again, he wasn’t alone.

Hmmmmm

Our Harry asked me at full time. “Dad. Do you know who men of the match should be?”   Err, ‘men’? I questioned.  He continued, “The Leicester physios”. The regularity with which they collapsed to the floor before making a full recovery had not gone unobserverd by H, us, the entire North stand and fourth official who would eventually hold up the board. My word, It was almost as though it had been a preordained tactic. The Foxes collapsing like chimneys. Brendan Rodgers very much channeling his inner Fred Dibnah when it came to setting up his team.

Channelling their inner ‘Fred’ was a success for Leicester last time out

Just like the visit of number 26 with Burnley at the weekend, football fans don’t forget. We have long memories and this one will be front and centre on Sunday. Much like Russell Slade and ten times better Harlee Dean, these things have a tendency to come back and bite you in the backside. Here’s hoping Brentford can invoke the spirit of another pantomime villain and remember that revenge is a dish best served cold. Or, in this case, lukewarm.

The season continues to deliver. Most observers had Brentford written off before the campaign began. Instead, its Leeds United and Everton who are the ones duking it out in the relegation places. Whilst most fans would, I am sure, like a few more points for comfort I’m still looking upwards. Beating Leicester City on Sunday with sufficient GD swing will see us overtake the currently 12th placed team. That’s not a bad incentive to go for it with less than ten games remaining in the season.

The other question remains one of ‘kit’. Or should that be two questions? Firstly, yours truly. I make no secret of my own shirt nerdy. With ‘several’ shirts from the last five decades at home, one has always been worn when watching Brentford. Always, That is, until Norwich City when the new ‘lucky’ green jacket got an an outing. A late ‘70s polyester masterclass in fashion that time forgot. Yet… we won. No shirt. No colours, beyond the addition of the yellow / blue hat ‘away’ hat. Next up, Burnley. Same again. No colours. Just the green jacket and the hat. We won.

It seems obvious what to do wear next time out but, the one small problem being…..Mrs. Bruzon hates it. Absolutely hates it. “You look like a gnome” being the polite way of putting things. My protests that, “The table doesn’t lie” falling on deaf hears. As it stands. 

Domestic bliss or playing the part, no matter how small, in keeping a winning run going ? What to do? What to do…..? 

The other kit question being that of this season’s offerings. We all know what’s going on in Europe at the moment. The reaction of the International community to the attrocities in Ukraine has been pretty much universal – the handful of dickhead countries aside. Here, Premier League games have seen stadia drapped in Ukrainian colours and huge murals of the national flag held aloft prior to kick off. Again, support has been largely universal – the dickhead club aside.

However, how about going one better? How about getting a one off kit commissioned? Match shirts to be auctioned off afterwards for charity to help Ukranian refugees?

Might Brentford be the ones to nail our colours to the mast and help lead the way as we have done so often before?  Kitman Bob? Matthew Benham? If either of you are reading (err, its a lovely thought….)  Brentford official? Could we? More importantly, should we?

Everyone talks the talk but why don’t we walk the walk? Forgive the shoddy photoshop but you get the gist. What about it?

For now though, at least we can start booking the train to Manchester United and awaiting the game with Leicester City. I can’t wait for that one. Bring it on and see you there. All being well, in the green jacket.

Until then, here’s the Burnley catch up.

Brentford Player Ratings – Gameweek 29

Nick Bruzon

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Who’s falling apart (again)? Is Chelsea off?

Questions. Questions. Questions. For a day where Brentford fans had to sit on the sidelines and wait the chance to follow up our defeat of Norwich with Saturday’s visit from Burnley, there was plenty going on. All the talk on social media was around Chelsea. With Roman Abramovich finally sanctioned (and his UK assets frozen) the club are able to continue playing but will not be allowed to sell any more tickets – amongst other special conditions. The other news of interest was Leeds falling apart. Again. New manager. Same result. A 3-0 home defeat to Aston Villa puts the Elland Road club even closer to those bottom three places.  

Norwich, last Saturday.

First up, Chelsea. Its all a bit of a mystery what it means for Brentford fans. With the Bees due to visit Stamford Bridge in just a few weeks (April 2nd), ticket sales have gone on hold whilst clarity is sought from the Premier League as to what we can / can’t do. The statement out of ‘official’ was understandably nondescript, given as nobody has a clue. All sorts of theories are doing the rounds, ranging from full refunds for those who got tickets in the first tranche though those same individuals being allowed to attend as part of one of the final away contingents in the foreseeable. There was even, somewhat unlikely, talk of tickets being made available for free/ charity. One things for sure, regular sales are now stopped with immediate effect. 

The reaction from Blues’ fans was the usual polarising of opinion that is social media. Full support for the move versus full on rage about supporters being punished. Other being abused for daring to support what is now happening. For me, Clive, its the absolute right thing to do. Cripes – look out your window. Get your head out of your arse. Turn on the TV. The defence that ‘Abramovich isn’t making any money’ from Chelsea clearly ignoring the fact that he’d make dumper trucks full if choosing to sell off some / all of his assets. Regardless of your feelings about him as an individual, he has been targeted for a specific reason. His links to that maggot penised dickhead running the show in Russia. 

I’m no expert, but somebody really seems to be over-compensating

That’s it. End of. If it means we get our matchday experience pulled then boo-hoo. Of course I’d rather see Brentford play in person but should that fail to transpire then we’ll have to miss out in the context of the bigger picture. Besides, given Season Ticket holders are still able to attend Chelsea will retain a largely full house. Just less tourists and potentially no away support. All transfer activity has been suspended , their travel budget has been slashed and they might find themselves waking up next to Lenny Henry on overnight trips but they can still play. For now.

Shirt sponsors Three mobile have also asked for their brand to be removed from the shirt although that didn’t seem to happen in time for last night’s defeat of Norwich City.  More will, no doubt, become clear in the coming days.

As one observer looked to summarise it: They are stuck with Lukaku, but only season ticket holders will be booing him now.

Parking the bus may take on a new meaning for Chelsea

Elsewhere, Leeds United fell apart. Again. New manger Jesse Marsch followed up Saturday’s loss at Leicester City with a 3-0 home humping at the hands of Aston Villa. That’s six defeats in a row with 21 goals conceded over that period and only two scored. Those in the 2-4 reverse at home to Manchester United. All of a sudden, Saturday’s visit from Norwich City has the feel of a real relegation six-pointer with Marsch calling it a “version of a final”. This, something barely anybody would have considered at the start of the campaign but all of a sudden a very real prospect. With Watford also getting thumped last night (4-0 at Wolves), the two clubs in the bottom relegation slots are looking a long way from safety. Points in the bag very much better than games in hand, as we’ve been saying all season.

The big question being who is third favourite for the drop? Burnley currently have the box seat. Leeds and Everton have the anti-form. Of course, Brentford welcome Sean Dyche’s team this weekend. Our own victory over Norwich on Saturday left supporters in fine fettle. As much due to getting a win under the belt as the performances of Ivan Toney and, of course, Christian Eriksen. The Dane was simply magnificent. Ivan, ice cold with his finishing. Nerves of steel with his hat-trick put away in some style. 

Brentford Player Ratings – Gameweek 28

Whilst I’m acutely aware that a win for Brentford will help Leeds out of their own predicament, it has to be all out for another three points to the Bees. Burnley have already confirmed they’ll be missing captain Ben Mee, meaning number 26 will be under more pressure. For Brentford, the team names itself unless there are any unexpected injuries. Whilst we have now lost the element of surprise, formation wise, that was so wonderful at Carrow Road the way that team played means more of the same has to be the only way forward. The difference that a switch to 4-3-3 made was evident to anyone who has been watching this team for more than three seconds. Sweeping attack. Playing on the front food. Laser-pointed delivery from Eriksen. It was a thing of beauty and now we get to show it off at home.

The world is a horrible place at the moment. Last weekend gave some much needed breathing space from the pressure. A chance to switch off from it all for a few hours and just enjoy football. Here’s to more of the same on Saturday.

Bring it on and see you there.

Norwich was a great chance to switch off and enjoy football for football’s sake

Nick Bruzon

Former Brentford ‘keeper has the balls that FIFA lack. Well said Szczesny (and Poland).

Monday morning. The weekend has seen Brentford go down at home to Newcastle United, keeper Kepa take the worst penalty since Yoann Barbet found low-earth orbit against Norwich City and Leeds United parting company with Marcelo Bielsa. Yet it was dominated by FIFA proving themselves as spineless as ever when it comes to Russia. The ongoing and barbaric atrocities being committed by Putin and his lackies in the Ukraine have resulted in global condemnation, ejection from everything as far afield as the Eurovision song contest to hosting their own Grand Prix (and anything in between) whilst the footballing community have made their own feelings very clear.  Wojciech Szczesny and Poland leading the charge and refusing to play Russia next month. 

We’ve always loved the player, affectionally known as Chesney, at Brentford after his 25 game stint in 2009/10. It seems like five minutes ago he was pulling out all the stops, game after game. Ripping up tress in goal and performing last line of defence heroics that haven’t been matched until, well, probably David Raya. Now, he’s up on the global stage making his feelings (and those of his countrymen) known loud and clear.

Speaking to the DAZN Sports streaming service, Szczesny was unequivocable with his thoughts:

“We won’t play against Russia at the World Cup, that’s for sure. Let’s see if FIFA will have balls to give Russia the World Cup by forfeit – I don’t think so”.

“I refuse to stand on the pitch, wearing the colours of my country and listen to the national anthem of Russia! I refuse to take part in a sporting even that legitimases the actions of the Russian government.”

Well said, that man. With Sweden and the Czech Republic joining the Poles in their decision, FIFA have finally flinched. There has been no kicking the Russian team out. Instead, a typically half-arsed measure of still allowing them to compete but on neutral ground under the name Football Union of Russia (RFU). No flags , no anthems, no flags. But still playing. 

President of the Polish FA, Cezary Kulesza, was as forthright as Szcezny on hearing this news. He called it “Totally unacceptable” with, incase anybody was in any doubt, the commitment that.. “We are not interested in participating in this game of appearances. Our stance remains intact: Polish national team will not play with Russia, no matter what the name of the team is.“

Look. I get its not the fault of the Russian players or Russian people. Robert Lewandowski was amongst those also recognising that side. At the same time, giving a government and a dictator who thrives on his own ego, on global recognition and some misplaced macho bullshit where the world order is still rooted in the 18th century any credibility or attention, no matter how watered down it may be, is a complete and utter NO. It was an open goal and FIFA have missed. Missed it worse than Diana Ross taking a penalty.

The world looks on at a c*nt

Instead, they’re now in a situation where Gianni Infantino still sleeps with the Order of Friendship medal given to him by Vladimir Putin under his pillow. Where the head of FIFA has acted with all the speed of a turning oil tanker in swerving questions before, finally, finally coming out with this nonsensical watered down rubbish. Nobody is going to play against Russia in the current circumstances. The World Cup, already under huge scrutiny given the controversy of Qatar, could become an even bigger farce than it is already looking like turning in to. And rightly so.

The World is burning at the moment. Football had a chance to draw a line in the sand. To show strong leadership. To show support  – primarily for Ukraine but also its other members. The football community has come out and made their feelings quite clear. Even in the symbolic gestures from supporters waving banners, flags and going to games in yellow and blue. From players openly saying they refuse to participate in the charade. 

The game’s leadership, anything but. It makes me sick. F*ck Ras-Putin. F*ck FIFA. Our beautiful game is currently being made to look very ugly at the top level.

Anyway, that’s just me. For what it’s worth. Trying to bring up a young child to know the difference between right and wrong or explain what the heck is going on in the world at present isn’t an easy job. I get sleepless nights over where this could end up but, at least, I still have my principles. It’s a shame others don’t. Oh well, enjoy that medal Gianni.

I was going to talk about the League cup, about Leeds United , about Newcastle and about Brentford going to Norwich City but really can’t be bothered with any more. This stuff is written on the hoof. Made up as it goes along and having done so, I’m over football for now.  A relief for everyone. If you really want to then you can get the player / performance review from the Bees – Magpies game, here. 

I’m downing tools for a few days.

Be good.

enjoy that medal

Nick Bruzon

The good, the bad and the downright ugly as England and Northern Ireland win

After all the dust has settled, the record books will show a 2-1 victory for England over Wales. The winning goal coming deep into that period us Brentford fans know as Jota time to send Roy Hodgson into a jubilant jig from the dugout and, surely, book England’s place in the next round. Elsewhere, Northern Ireland put on a superb performance in beating Ukraine but Germany and Poland drawing 0-0 means Stuart Dallas, Niall McGinn and the yet to appear Will Grigg are going to have their work cut out.

As ever, off field matters dominated proceedings. Whilst the atmosphere at the game seemed a really positive one, the French Police again elected for the tear gas option later in the evening. There has been grotesque footage circulating of England fans taunting refugee children by throwing coins at them or goading them into downing pints for money.

I know our own Billy and Dave from Beesotted have been doing their thing to try and combat some of the negative imagery and disproportionate police reaction but this a new level of low. Likewise, reading the comments of FourFourTwo magazine managing editor Huw Davies,  where things sound anything but rosy. Do check out his Twitter feed to get the views of those looking in at the English. It is a trail of unpleasantness and abuse from those supposedly supporting England.

Comments include :   “I’m not trying to set or challenge a narrative. Just saying that while we chatted with some nice English fans, majority weren’t” and (when faced with a homeless woman and her child, shouts of )  “What are you doing on the street with a f**king child?” “If you can’t support it, don’t have it.” “You’re a f**king shit mum.” All in a row

As for the game itself, England now top the group after Daniel Sturrridge’s last gasp goal saw manager saw Roy Hodgson channelling his inner Alan Pardew with a celebratory leap from the dugout. Only a point is needed to ensure qualification from the group whilst Wales must now beat Russia to guarantee the same outcome.

It was hard work getting there, though. Gareth Bale’s free kick from distance saw Wales take a half time lead. Joe Hart may be able to keep his shoulders clean but he couldn’t manage a clean sheet, despite getting his hands to the Real Madrid man’s long range effort around the wall. It was a decent strike, make no mistake, but it should have been pushed clear of the post rather than into the goal.

And then Roy went for it. With Jamie Vardy and Sturridge introduced for Raheem Sterling and Harry Kane, the difference in bench quality showed. England were able to step it up as Wales attempted to soak it up.

An errant Welsh defender’s flick on saw an otherwise miles offside Vardy grab the equaliser just nine minutes into a one-way second half. And from there the game only had one winner. But would it come? No. Wave after wave of pressure saw resolute defending keep the English team at bay. Despite the best efforts of the inspired subs and marauding Kyle Walker, there was no way through.

And then it happened. With a draw looking odds on, England launched one more attack. The ball fell to Sturridge who, wriggling through the box, was able to slip it through, off and past the Welsh defence for a jubilantly celebrated winner. Even Gary Neville joining Roy in the excitement. Such was the communal outpouring of triumph I half expected John Terry to join in.

Tough luck to Wales. Well done to England. Cue the inevitable post match celebrations and exhortations from Gary Lineker, who this season seems to have forgotten he ever played for anybody but Leicester City. It was all about Vardy and his first team. Tottenham? Barcelona? Nagoya Grampus Eight? At least one of those three has players involved.

Gary in his Grampus Eight days…

As for the ex-Brentford contingent, everybody from Jonathan Douglas to Charlie Lawson (TV’s Jim McDonald) was bigging up the boys from Northern Ireland. They battled the elements and Ukraine to secure a stunning victory, despite the absence of Will Grigg. Germany have done them no favours with that 0-0 but still an incredible moment that culminated in an incredible dance from ‘Big’ Jim to out Pardew even Roy.

On a day that saw Roy’s rolls (of the dice) lead England to victory, how apt to see another Corrie connection celebrating a different one.

Do check out Charlie’s video – now THAT’s a celebration

Nick Bruzon

Who has the best kit at EURO 2016 as Jonathan Pearce misses an open goal.

With the memory of the England – Russia game and all those appalling scenes that went with it moving further away from us, last night it was the turn of Belgium and Italy to do (footballing) battle. There was a glorious opportunity for Jonathan Pearce in the earlier game featuring Ireland and Sweden whilst Brentford devotees Dave Lane and Billy Grant (of course, the boys from Beesotted) have continued spreading the word about events in Marseille.

First up though, Jonathan Pearce who was at the helm when Ireland kicked off their campaign. I had special interest in this game, and moreso because I was going to be on a commuter train rather than sat in front of the TV. This would be the first chance for use of that commentating staple from tournaments, “And for those of you just coming in from work, the score is…”

You never hear this line at any other time except during a World Cup or European Championships. Despite it being clear for all to see in the top left corner, expect it to come out somewhere between 6.10pm and 6.20pm.

Except no. Not Jonathan. Maybe it was a reaction to being saddled with Mark Lawrenson. Perhaps he was distracted by what sounds like an incredible anecdote about a mirror. Talking about the World Cup in 1994, my sources tell that he explained to viewers how,  “I was speaking to someone and I went back a year later to the same place and realised it was a mirror.”

Seriously? Anyone? The only thing more bizarre being the reaction of Lawro who, rather than pick up the commentator on the lunacy of what he had just said, dead panned back “Was it a big mirror?”

To be fair, judging by his normal look, you can understand the co-commentator being unfamiliar with the purpose of a mirror. Either way, an open goal, missed. ITV have the baton now. Austria – Hungary is the game at 5pm.

Next up, Beesotted. We mentioned them in yesterday’s article but their great work continues. Us Brentford supporters know what they can do but their influence has now spread wider. Billy Grant appeared on BBC Radio 5 live last night to talk about what he had seen in Marseille whilst Dave has produced their latest blog.

Whilst these pages are, largely, nonsense and fun, based out amongst the footballing action in France Beesotted are cutting straight to the heart of the matter. PLEASE do take a look at what they have to say for a much more balanced view on events than some of the media would have you believe. That blog, including links to the podcast, went up yesterday.

OK, kit. Last night’s Belgium game drew as many gasps of admiration for the Belgium shirt as it did for the two Italian goals. (I’m still in shock by the quality of the pass and subsequent control for their opener. Oh, wow).

But it got me thinking, what are the best kits EURO 2016 has to offer? So here, in no more scientific order than personal preference, are my top eight. And the worst.

8: Ukraine home. Almost tartan yellow. They’d argue it is plaid. Either way an understated niceness.

7(seven): Iceland away. Not just the style but anything that looks like the kit worn in ‘Escape to victory’ can only be a good thing.

6: Wales home. A classical elegance, as one Ealing Road wag noted last night.

5: Germany home. A very 70’s look for the current World Champions

4: Spain away. So bonkers it’s brilliant.

3: Switzerland away. It’s all a bit France ’84

2: Belgium home. Would have been number one but the yellow is just a touch too neon. Still a thing of beauty though

1: Belgium away. Is that Eddie Merckx? Kitman Bob, are you reading (it is made by adidas)? This is just sumptuous.

And the worst….

Russia away. Looking like somebody has taken a giant sneeze on it when viewed from a distance of more than five yards away, I can’t help but feel they are massively overcompensating for something with that oversized national emblem printed into the design.

Nick Bruzon

Plug time :  As for Brentford news, well the tumbleweed continues. The most I can do is guide you towards eBay where there are a number of unusual Bees shirts on sale at the moment (and none of which this kit nerd will be bidding for – season tickets don’t pay for themselves).

Alternatively,The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. Should anybody want to go over this nonsense, relive these moments once more and remind ourselves of the pain induced by Stroud and the fallout from that penalty’ you can do so now.

It has been a stunning few years. Here’s to more of the same. We may have had a few lows (something about a penalty, the football village, the FA Cup, the pitch, the Marinus experiment) but there have been plenty more highs as the Bees made an unexpected challenge for the Premier League.

Thanks for reading.

 

A real Löw point for EURO2016. But we have some inside men

We don’t do the serious stuff on these pages. It’s normally just a bit of nonsense about Brentford, perhaps with a bit of the national team thrown in. With Euro 2016 alive and kicking (quite literally) I couldn’t bring myself to do it yesterday. The scenes from the Russia fans and the attacks on England supporters, with the obvious and somewhat familiar retaliation, have left a rather sick feeling in the stomach.

More to the point, I’m not there. Who to believe? What to believe? A vile English minority or self-defence?

The media have been quick to jump on the England hooligans  ‘shaming a nation’ bandwagon. Perhaps true, to an extent, but the more you read the more it sounds a bit different this time.

Gangs of French ultras roaming the streets starting unprovoked attacks on those English fans they’ve targeted. Russian thuggery. A flare gun fired at England supporters during the 1-1 draw on Saturday night (there was a game, by the way). A flare gun? Amid all the terror alerts and security. After all the violence. How on earth do you get a gun of any description into a stadium?

Talk of reactive French police. Police who had taken no advice beforehand and then waded in indiscriminantly afterwards.And come 2018 we’ve got a World Cup in Russia

All in all , whoever you believe to be at fault, some pretty depressing scenes and thought provoking stuff.

Thankfully, for us Brentford fans we have our two ‘inside men’ on the scene. Billy Grant and Dave Lane from Beesotted are out in France, trying to enjoy the football but also doing their domestic thing, continental style.

Have selfie stick, will travel

Armed with nothing more than a selfie stick, a camera and a laptop they are keeping the website running and bringing us regular reports on what is really going on. And there are some pretty shocking scenes.

Great work , chaps. Please keep it up. Here’s hoping you’ve got a happier story to report soon. And in the meantime, for those who haven’t seen it their update on the trouble in Marseille is here. The video is close to a million hits already. Understandably so.

So what else have we learned so far? Never shake hands with Joachim Low. He was caught doing the old ‘scratch and sniff’ during last night’s Germany v Ukraine. A game the Germans took 2-0, for the record.

Did the Ukraine manager shake hands at full time?

Will Grigg isn’t on fire. Despite being one of several ex-Bees involved in the Poland – Northern Ireland squads, the Poles ran out 1-0 winners. And it seems that Stuart Dallas hasn’t got the memo about #Beardclub having been disbanded. He’s looking less hipster and more Rasputin these days.

Tonight sees the first chance of that classic tournament line, “And for those of you just coming in from work, the score is…” being trotted out. The game : Republic of Ireland v Sweden. the place: BBC1. Expect that to be used at about 6.15pm tonight . Despite the score being clearly available in the top left hand corner of the screen .

As for Brentford news, well the tumbleweed continues. The most I can do is guide you towards eBay where there are a number of unusual Bees shirts on sale at the moment (and none of which this kit nerd will be bidding for on pain of death – not literally, but season tickets don’t pay for themselves).

Alternatively,The Last Word ‘season review’ : Ready. Steady. Go Again and the three year anthology : The Bees are going up remain available for download. Should anybody want to go over this nonsense, relive these moments once more and remind ourselves of the pain induced by Stroud and the fallout from that penalty’ you can do so now.

It has been a stunning few years. Here’s to more of the same. We may have had a few lows (something about a penalty, the football village, the FA Cup, the pitch, the Marinus experiment) but there have been plenty more highs as the Bees made an unexpected challenge for the Premier League.

Thanks for reading.

Nick Bruzon

On Tuesday, my mind really was in the gutter….

We’ll get on to Brentford momentarily but first, an odd question. How much clutter can the average football fan’s gutter hold?

Its one I’ve contemplated before (regular readers may recall last season’s programme article on a similar subject) but it resurfaced on Tuesday night as I struggled to stay awake during England’s ‘workmanlike’ performance in Ukraine.

Listening to Southampton supporter Christian O’Connell on Absolute Radio this morning, he posed the question ‘The England game was so boring that…?” and then invited listeners to complete the sentence.

To read the rest of this article, season 2013/14 is now available to download onto Kindle, in full. Containing previously unseen content, you can do so here for less than the cost of one matchday programme.

 Thanks for reading over the course of the campaign. For now I need to make space on this page for any follow up.  The ‘close season’ / World Cup columns continue in full, further on in this site.