Piers Morgan v Wellard. Floyd v The Bluetones. Me v my driving instructor.

What links Piers Morgan and Osama Bin Laden? Hmm. How about Fidel Castro? Of course, they’re just a few from the well trodden list of celebrity Arsenal fans. A set of names that also includes Nick Hornby, at least one of Pink Floyd, Dido and Mick Jagger, aswell as Hollywood bigshots Matt Damon and Kevin Costner. To name but a few. And now, depending on how much they actually support their team, we’ve got a chance to ruin their evening. Those still with us, that is. The day has come. Brentford play their first ever Premier League fixture and the Gunners are our guests. Bring it on. The chance to upset Piers Morgan hasn’t come around anywhere nearly enough in our lifetimes. Now, the moment is upon us. As Thomas Frank summarised quite succinctly, “You couldn’t have written the story better. We open the Premier League season. A bus stop is opening the Premier League season broadcast to 190 countries across the world against famous, enormous Arsenal “. Yet, if we channel our inner Bournemouth, who knows what might happen?

A bus stop is opening the PL season broadcast to 190 countries against one of the most famous football clubs ………in the world!

Thomas sums it up. pic.twitter.com/5N4FA6biUV

— Griffin Park Grapevine (Brentford FC Unofficial) (@bfcgpg) August 11, 2021

Finally the time has come. Brentford v Arsenal. Adam Devlin from the Bluetones v Dave Gilmour. Do him, Adam ! Oh, if only Cameron Diaz were actually a Brentford fan to give it large to Costner when they go into work on Monday morning. But, as we all know, she isn’t. Yet. Come on Cameron, it’s never too late. 

Musical genius and famous Bees: Hard-Fi, (Archer) The Bluetones (Devlin), Helicopter Of The Holy Ghost (Reeves – get it, now)

Me v my former driving instructor Richie Firth. Eight years on and I’m pretty confident that ‘pass’ is coming soon, despite his best efforts at giving a live ‘first lesson’. Richie, better known as co-host on the Absolute Radio ‘hometime’ show and another for whom being an Arsenal fan has been a long ride of giddy highs but, more recently, sickening lows. How amazing would it be to start their season off with a bump? Richie may not make the regular list of ‘famous fans’ but he’s as staunch a lover of Gunnersaurus as they come.

Yet it was perhaps our most well known of faces (Kitman Bob aside) who has laid the stakes early today. TalkSport radio’s Natalie Sawyer – somebody who knows more than a thing or two about football and seems to have an even shonkier body clock than yours truly – has been tweeting about the Bees since the small hours today. Got to love that commitment to the cause. Joining in with anyone and everyone in the red and white.  

Well, well, still can’t quite fathom it, but today happens to be a big day for @BrentfordFC. Looking forward to being a part of the journey, come rain or shine (hopefully more shine!) 

The key factor if we are to have any chance of upsetting Dido this evening will be in channelling that play-off spirit:

“Just got to make sure we make Lionel Road a fortress. Cliches and all but us fans are going to be so important. If we can get the atmosphere like the Bournemouth 2nd leg, then we’ll be in for a treat!”

Natalie is bang on the money here. We’ve talked many, many times about how the 4,000 or so supporters sounded that day. The crowd were immense. Like nothing I’ve ever heard. The stadium less than a quarter full yet sounding like a cathedral of noise. Certainly, a concept Arsenal fans may not be familiar with. It was gargantuan. Game changing. Decisive. Recreate that and we hand ourselves a huge advantage.

That last minute lap of Lionel Road inspired the crowd to new heights against Bournemouth

Whether it is enough to beat Arsenal is another question, of course, but it’s going to be a huge help. Just imagine what will happen should we do it. The chance to go top of the Premier League doesn’t come around that often. Something both clubs will be familiar with in recent years !  Could we inspire a Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang frustration hole? Might we finally turn Cameron’s head. Will Piers and Richie end the night in tears?

It’s a massive ask but I can’t wait to find out. Finally, the Premier League is here. See you there !!! 

Loyalties tested. 8mins 40 in

Nick Bruzon

Matthew Benham and Roy help lift the mood as Gibraltar are bracketed.

Very much a day of mixed emotions yesterday as former Brentford goalkeeper Wojciech Szczęsny (now plying his trade with Arsenal) kept Gibraltar at bay in their EURO 2016 opener against Poland. And by kept at bay, I mean barely had a look in as the boys from the Rock were on the wrong end of a 7(seven) – 0 bracketing.

Despite an even first half, it ended up being the sort of rout that nobody likes to see. It took Brentford owner Matthew Benham, who had earlier given a positive reaction to the ‘hot seat’ idea for Lionel Road, to fully lift my post match gloom with another view of one of his favourite football headlines.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Lionel Road plans form as Gibraltar arrive on the Euro stage

No sooner had Brentford fan (or not, as it transpired)Cameron Diaz broken my heart this week than an idea has formed which could help bring her back into the fold. First, though, EURO 2016 qualifiers and if you aren’t bothered seeing Germany get brackets (seven) against Scotland then Sky Sports 3 has Gibraltar making their tournament debut on Sunday night.

The boys from The Rock have a ‘home’ fixture against Poland in a hugely significant game after finally becoming UEFA’s 54th member last May. I use ‘home’ loosely – the game will actually take place in Faro, Portugal – but it still promises to be an emotional experience for players, travelling supporters and those watching on TV.

It is a shame, from one respect, they’ll be rattling around a half empty stadium when a trip from Gibraltar to London would likely have been just as cost effective (thanks to the wonder of charter flights) and would have seen any number of stadia up for the task – international football at Griffin Park, perhaps?

But I digress – in a Group D that also sees World Champions Germany, the Republic of Ireland and the pool minnows, Scotland, it could be a fascinating qualification campaign. The smart money will be on Germany to walk it, of course, but I’m backing Gibraltar to pull off a shock this evening. And at 33-1 with some bookmakers for the win, worth a few quid…..?

Getting back to domestic matters, this week Cameron Diaz declared that although she wasn’t aware of The Bees existence, now that she is she’ll look into us.

As such, what better chance for the club to spring into action? To be quite honest, when it was announced last week that she’d be in London on a promotional tour, I’d have assumed the marketing and media chaps would have been all over it, anyway.

A new home shirt with ‘DIAZ, 9’ winging it’s way to her? A tour of Griffin Park? Perhaps an interview with Chris Wickham for Beesplayer?

But, it’s not too late. One thing I discovered whilst writing last season’s columns/book was an interesting fact about Swiss football. Whilst most people know that the home of domestic side ‘Young Boys’ is the ‘Stade de Suisse, Wankdorf’ what you may not be aware of is a unique feature – the, so called, ‘Hot Seat’.

The stadium has a solitary red chair amongst the other 31,999 black and yellow ones. It was the first one installed in the new ground (opened in 2005) and you can’t buy a ticket for it. Instead, a notable personality – usually linked to the club – sits there.

I love this idea and, as I’ve said before, think it would be fantastic if Brentford could try a similar scheme at Lionel Road. 19,999 red and white seats, and then one in a unique colour – or perhaps even yellow/black stripes?

In our case, the occupant could range from a deserving supporter to a local dignitary or ‘celebrity’ fan. (If nothing else, there’s a free programme article out of it every week).

And if we go down the latter route then what better guest to invite to use this ‘hot seat’ than Cameron Diaz? As Paul Davis told me on Twitter, “At least now we are on her radar”.

Mr. Benham, if you are reading (you never know) then how about it?

But even if Cameron does come good, she’s still down (down) the pecking order behind Rhino out of The Quo or Dean Gaffney.

Should Diaz be replaced on the celebrity Bees montage?

Nick Bruzon

Is Cameron Diaz a Brentford fan ? The answer, revealed

The question that Brentford fans have contemplated for years has finally been put directly to Cameron Diaz. And it has been answered.

On Thursday morning, Absolute Radio DJ Christian O’Connell played out his interview with the Hollywood A-lister and finally obtained the truth about her rumoured love of Brentford.

It’s a story that has been recounted for over a decade and quoted in sources as varied as The Daily Star, The Daily Mail and ESPN. We’d all seen the like of Rhino out of The Quo, Richard Archer and Natalie Sawyer at Griffin Park , but never Cameron.

The scene was set last night in the build up article. To be honest, as I wrote this I feared the worst but you never know. Stranger things have happened.

Sadly, however, not this strange. It seems that not only has she never been to Griffin Park but, in a gutbusting revelation, Diaz confessed , “It’s not that I’m not a fan of the Bees. I just really didn’t know they existed.”

(l-r) Jason Segal, Christian O’Connell, Cameron Diaz. No Bees

You can download the podcast which features the full interview from Absolute Radio and I-tunes. Failing that, the key exchange was as follows:

OC: There is a huge rumour that you are a football fan. Or Soccer as you guys call it now, which is getting bigger in America. And..a fan of Brentford. Is this true or not?

CD: You know, I think I would love to know more about football. I don’t.

OC: So you are not a fan of The Bees?

CD: Let me just tell you something. It’s not that I’m not a fan of the Bees. I just really didn’t know they existed.

You can see the FULL, unedited video version, below. 8m45 is the point where the killer blow is delivered

 

Noooooo. This was the ultimate celebrity kick in the nuts. Or in footballing terms, like hearing we’d sold Dean Holdsworth and replaced him with Murray Jones.

That said, there is still hope. Possibly. The interview concluded with Cameron’s admission that: “Now that I know they exist, I’m going to look into them. I’m going to Google them.”

I hope she does. And not just because I think that she’d like what she found. More, I’d love us to be the team supported by Cameron Diaz AND Dean Gaffney.

How often would you get chance to see those two together?

For now, a face is (sadly) crossed off The Bees montage

Christian O’Connell to solve the biggest Brentford mystery.

Throughout the history of mankind there have been many unsolved mysteries that have troubled philosophers and scholars alike.

Is Elvis really dead? How was Stonehenge built? What is the secret of Bermuda Triangle?

However, for Brentford fans there is one question amongst all that supercedes even the hit parade troubling prowess of Barry Manilow.

Our legion of celebrity supporters is many. From the world of TV we have Sky sports presenter Natalie Sawyer and Dean Gaffney (Wellard from Eastenders). Music fans are amply catered for with Rick Wakeman, New Road regular Rhino Edwards from Status Quo and Richard Archer out of Hard-fi amongst those cheering on the Bees. Even comedian Bradley Walsh has a Brentford connection, as a former professional at the club.

Beyond these, though, a single name transcends this entire list. Cameron Diaz.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.