Waiting for (err) Raya as old friends return.

The game with Huddersfield Town may be upon us but for now Brentford supporters seem more concerned with transfer talk. There’s the move, or non-move as now looks likely, of David Raya to Arsenal along with the incoming conjecture surrounding Saman Ghoddos. Plus we’ve the return of an old favourite from last season – Stu Wakeford and Marcus Gayle are back with ‘The Run In’ (as was). The show, affectionately nicknamed ‘Soccer PM’ makes a return on Friday evening and the team are looking for your help. Meanwhile, over in Gibraltar a win for Glasgow Rangers has us asking questions about football folklore.

They’re back tonight

First up, David Raya. Go back to sleep Arsenal fans, its not happening. Despite the stress and angst felt in this corner of the world by many (although if that was bad then just wait until the Benrahma / Crystal Palace stories start up again…) our man is going nowhere. It is a drum that the GPG in particular have been long banging and now the press would seem to have caught up. Several publications (established rather than those ‘the three players this club must sign’ type clickbait mongers) are now reporting that we have turned down a significant bid – £10m is the figure quoted – even though this also had a season long loan back option included. Apparently.

What a statement if so. This club won’t be pushed around. Players will only be sold if Brentford want it to happen. Arsenal will have to wait. Or come back to the table with a nuclear sized bid although the same sources now say that their attention is focussed elsewhere. Hurrah. Of course, what this means for the Lionel Road goalkeeping position remains to be seen. Luke Daniels has worn the gloves so far this campaign and I can only imagine him doing so again when Huddersfield Town come to visit. He’s waited a long time for his chance and won’t be happy to give it up.

That’s the view looking in. Of course, we don’t actually know what’s going on behind the scenes. Paper talk is one thing and Raya could be genuinely injured. Hey, you never know. The wantaway talk nothing but bull smoked up by agents and a rival club to strip up intrigue and unsettling speculation. Hey, one can fantasise.

David Raya is a Bee.

Next up, Saman Ghoddos. We’ve not talked about the attacker’s proposed move on these pages yet. Mainly because the saga seems to have dragged on longer than a studio recording of Mrs. Brown’s Boys and has been as equally painful. That’s as much down to the same ‘joke’ (and I use that word with the same caution offered at a studio recording of Mrs. Brow… ) being used by the entire internet. Yes, I get it. His surname is Ghoddos. We’re still waiting for news on him signing.  If only there was an original way to connect the two that, seemingly, nobody else has thought of. Waiting f… No. Can’t do it. Won’t do it.

Instead, I’ll offer up a couple more shared last night . “Where Is Your Ghoddos now” was nice. There was also “Does your Ghoddos exist?” . If it all turns out to be idle speculation then we can just go for “The Ghoddos Delusion” …

Next up, ‘The Run In’ is back. The surprise hit of the summer, put together to build up the big game atmosphere as lockdown bit,  was a video show hosted by the aforementioned Wakeford and Gayle. The former of Soccer AM duties (but don’t let that stop you watching) and the legend that is Marcus. A club hero on and off the pitch. A club ambassador and , like Sam Saunders, one of those with his own special song. We still know it.

The great news is that the first show of series 2 is up this evening. It hits YouTube at 6pm and is very much a ‘must see’ for anyone needing their fix of all things Brentford. The one fly in the ointment being the title. The run in to 2019/20 has been and gone. We’ve a new season and, as such, something more appropriate is needed. This is where your help is needed. A tweet went up last night calling on fans to come up with a title. Personally, I’ve gone for Countdown to Kick-Off (Soccer PM felt as obvious as the Ghoddos affair) but there must be better out there. Surely?

Anyway, if you want to win a new shirt reply to the below Tweet. But do it fast.

We’re back but we want a new name for the show! Send us your shouts and if we pick yours we’ll send the first to suggest it a replica shirt from this season #therunin https://t.co/3ORPu8kvhT

— Stuart Wakeford (@StuSoccerAm) September 17, 2020

Finally, Gibraltar. Lincoln Red Imps, who so famously beat Celtic 1-0 in a Champions League qualifier a few season back, were thumped 5-0 by Rangers last night in the Europa League. Fair enough. It happens. The regular reader will know of my family connection and fascination with all things based around the GFA. 

However, the score is mentioned as much to question the rules of a football trashing. This, being how Absolute Radio reported the game in their breakfast show news today. 

Much like the wellness scale of shot methods (at 110%, if anything he hit it too well) what determines when the word ‘trashing’ can be used? Is it 4, 5 or more goals? Does that need to be clear (So 5-3 isn’t a trashing)? Do you get bonus points for playing away? Should the perceived quality of the opposition ever be factored in (so Liverpool winning 4-0 away to teams like Brentford or Arsenal is, perhaps, more well played than an actual ‘thrashing’)?

If anyone knows, then please send in your answers on a postcard, marked ‘thrashing’. Please note that your entries cannot be returned. Until then, we’ll stick with the only two really established rules. Brackets after a 7(seven) – 0 should always, only ever be lower case and then there’s that quite magnificent scale of shot quality.

If anything he hit it too well

Nick Bruzon 

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So close to another mulled win on a day of celebration.

The morning after the night before. Head foggy. Eyes sore. Mouth tasting like Fullers has curled up, fallen asleep in there and then passed away at about 3am. Espresso now on rewind. Yesterday was fun. A lot of fun. We had a kids / grown ups party at ours, meaning a trip to The Hawthorns was out of the running. Yet the seasonal celebrations continued long after the final guests had left with the knowledge that Brentford will be in the play-off zone at Christmas. This, following a 1-1 draw at West Bromwich Albion where, if we’re being honest, perhaps some are feeling miffed about not taking all three points from the league leaders. Certainly, going by the reports of one way traffic and chances created in the first half. There was a further present as second placed Leeds United dropped more points – albeit at the Cottage as they lost 2-1 to Fulham. Despite their losing a 3-0 lead at home to Cardiff last time out, surely not even the Elland Road outfit can throw away what is now a ten point lead from their second place to third. Surely? It’s not as though they have any form of reputation for falling apart or stuff like that.

Loved this from ‘official’

Still, the tribulations of Leeds United and Fulham (recording a first win since I don’t know when – it wasn’t last weekend, that’s for sure) a mere dollop of cream on top of the Festive treat served up at West Brom. With my usual group displaced by holiday prep, the aforementioned party, transatlantic travel and shopping it was a case of communication via Whatsapp. The screen shot showing that Brentford were dominating our hosts with 57% possession, 7(seven) shots with 2 on target – compared to nil from The Baggies – was followed with the not unusual comment that “We all know what happens next” becasue, of course, stats don’t win matches. Goals do.

Sure enough, thirty seconds later it did. But not as expected….

A scream from the front room was followed by Harry running through to the kitchen where the dads were hiding out by the vat of mulled wine, talking sh..op and steering clear of the mayhem. He was closely followed by his friends Felix and Darius who stand on the Ealing Road with their dad JJ (he of the goal inducing pea-sized bladder with which regular readers may be familiar – not literally). It was less a run and more a charge. Guests scattering and voices raised. “Daaaad. Daaaaad. We’ve scored!! We’re beating West Bromwich Albion.” Oh. Wow. Sure enough we had. Just before half-time and confirmation followed from Felix that it was the World Cup’s Denmark international Henrik Dalsgaard of Brentford who got the all important strike. Oh my. Get in !! Another mulled wine? Don’t mind if I do.

This was weird. Really weird. And if for no more reason than JJ had been with us when the goal went in rather than taking a comfort break.

Sadly though, the request for Harry to retrieve the deeds to the house and lump them on the Bees going up was retracted as quickly as it had been issued. Despite a penalty being denied us in between (“a clear, clear handball”, per Thomas Frank), Dalsgaard’s 43rd minute flick on from a corner was followed up by an almost identikit goal from the hosts. Fellow full back Darnell Furlong levelling things up deep into first half stoppage time. Oh well. Parity restored. A kick to the psychological nuts but a scoreline we’d all have taken prior to kick off, I’m sure. The important thing now was to not ‘do a Leeds United’ and, erm, fall apart. Keep that concentration going. Keep on pushing in what was sounding and reading like one way traffic (something the subsequent video highlights bear out altough our little group didn’t know this at the time).

The kids were sent back to the front room to ignore the rest of their guests and watch Jeff Stelling on mute, then keep us appraised of any second-half goal update. Nooooo. 2-1 Brom. Disaster. Charlie Austin.

Yessssssss 1-1. The lino had his flag up. Offside. “It was definitely offside, dad”, confirmed Harry. Not quite sure how he knew but his word was good enough for me. It was, on later review, the correct call and was the last action of any meaning in the afternoon. The game finishing 1-1 and the gap to Leeds in second being cut by another point. The Bees in the play-off zone and set for the visit of Swansea City on Boxing Day. Relentless West Bromwich Albion striding clear at the summit.

I’d love to have been there. The visiting contingent looked huge. The Hawthorns a magnificent stadium. Instead, yesterday’s ‘live action’ was confined to standing in a deluge and watching Harry at his Spartans FC training. Any excuse for a shot of that blue shirt in action.

Watching one ‘Bee’ in the rain

Instead, it’ll be a case of the trip to Millwall next Sunday for that next ‘away’ hit. But that’s one for the future. For now it’s a case of enjoying the moment. Of seeing how far we have come . We’ve only been in the Championship play off-zone at Christmas once before – the season Mark Warburton had the reins, dear (reader). Back then we hung on and scraped into the top six on that incredible final day after Derby did a Leeds at home to Reading. It was a position we’d got into of our own making through an over reliance on out of form Harlee Dean (Tony Craig being confined to the bench a tactical decision I still cannot align myself with) . 

Yet Thomas Frank shows none of that ‘loyalty to favourites’. Form is recognised and Ethan Pinnock has retained his place on merit following Julian Jeanvier’s suspension. It was a decision that has now been rewarded. The absence of Pontus Jansson with a ‘minor injury’ one which might have caused trepidation prior to kick off. Yet any worries proved futile and now I’d be intrigued to see who the choice centre-back pairing will be when Swansea visit on Thursday. What a lovely problem to have !

Perhaps if anyone can sum things up it is none other than Romaine Sawyers. How nice to read his words on Twitter at full time, where he opined: “Everyone knows I’ll always hold @BrentfordFC in high regard! You guys should be proud of the team this season and keep pushing them on to the finish line! Thank you for the reception at the end of the game appreciate it!! So glad to see all my brothers today and you fans”

Thank you Romaine. Here’s to playing you next season. In the top flight….

 

Nick Bruzon

The morning after the night before. And it STILL feels magnificent.

Brentford 5 Birmingham City 0. It was a night which began with such promise – the words of our former captain still ringing loud and clear. It was a night which ended with a scoreline that was beyond even our wildest dreams. I had an ecstatic Aston Villa supporting friend text me from his holiday at 4.30am. It woke me up. I didn’t care !

At one point during the game, I even saw one of the Braemar Road regulars having to explain to his son what brackets and the videprinter were. “Well, imagine a TV camera pointing at a really old TV screen….”, he began.

How IS that working out for you?

Ordinarily I’d sleep on things before writing the post match article. Yet sometimes you have to go with the gut and so I did it last night upon returning home. You can find it it here. Now, having managed to grab a few hour’s sleep, this should be the time for a more considered view. A more mature piece. A lengthier column. But. But….

I make no apologies for the fact I still have a huge grin on my face. Besides, it’s not always about length. And when even Brentford official got in on the act at full time (quite beautifully), perhaps here was the ultimate lesson in why:

One: It never pays to open your mouth before engaging your brain.

Two: Football fans NEVER forget.

There’s not much else to say beyond, thanks for the motivation. And the cash…

Yes. We really did ditch Kool and The Gang

Nick Bruzon

Harlee offers an alternative to going again. Dean conjures up strange images.

Footballers, eh? Normally the first to come out with anodyne soundbites about how the boys did well well or that despite the defeat (for which we apologise to the fans – it wasn’t good enough)  ‘we go again’. But with Brentford heading into Saturday’s game with Blackburn, club captain Harlee Dean has given a really interesting, and honest, interview on ‘official’ as part of the big match preview.

Talking about his own performance, current form, team mates and, of course, the threat posed by Blackburn it recognises our own, what we’ll call, ‘blips’ .

Harlee speaks to the press on Thursday

Fairplay to Harlee. I’m not normally one for these interviews. If nothing else, the technique of previewing what a player is about to be quoted on and then quoting it , often verbatim, still rankles. This one has a classic example and does make me wonder if we have problems with the required ‘word count’:

Harlee, who has missed just two games all season, feels that a mid-table position is where The Bees deserve to be based on the opening 16 games of the season but has aims on being much higher.

“I feel the team should be where we are but we could be a lot better,” said Harlee.

But it is a small gripe. It’s great to hear our captain being so open, so honest and saying what we can all see. The question now is one of how we follow up these words. As he notes:

“The boys will be honest that a few of them have been good in spells and then dropped off…..  We can easily do it but we all have to be consistent, not just for one game or for 135 minutes, but for two, three, or four games in a row and see where it takes us.”

If you haven’t read the full interview yet, you can find it on ‘official’. Alternatively, the whole piece is on the Brentford YouTube page which you can find below.

Harlee. Great words, great jumper 

Dean Smith also gave his press conference, where ‘official’ began by telling us he is expecting Blackburn to offer both “a tough test” and a “stern examination”. I had to double take on reading that opening gambit. Visions of daleks gliding onto the Ewood Park pitch were soon dispelled upon noting it said stern examination rather than extermination (and with it, the photoshop imagery hit the ‘trash’ folder). That’s what writing this nonsense so early in the morning does to you!

Like Harlee, Mr Smith also noted that “The consistency element is something that we are working on.” Certainly the right mantra and let’s hope it sinks in. Consistency , consistency, consistency. Repeat it enough and, like saying Candyman, Candyman, Candyman into the mirror – will it magically appear?

On Saturday, we find out.

And if you’d like to read more, Dean’s full interview is also available on Brentford official.

In the meantime, the thought of Doctor Smith and the Daleks has been niggling. Here’s hoping Blackburn can be exterminated on Saturday (in the nicest possible terms).

Nick Bruzon

Who is joining (or leaving) today? Matthew is back !

Fire up the old Brentford. Matthew Benham is back. On Twitter that is. Whilst he has already returned after a brief mid-season hiatus, Wednesday saw him teasing us with another spin of the ‘cryptic clue generator’. On a day in which this column bemoaned the Charlton Athletic school of comms, it made a refreshing change to see Matthew at his fan teasing best .

What does it all mean? Of course his use of a video clip is traditionally associated with somebody new coming in to Griffin Park. That said, his clues are as hard to understand and unravel as Claudia Winkleman doing the maths on Countdown. Even when you know the answer.

https://t.co/gi2p8FoNVm

— matthew benham (@matthew_benham) March 16, 2016

So what can we learn from this? Is somebody coming in today? Certainly, Dean Smith has been very vocal about his desire to dip into the loan market.But any attempt to translate the sequence has , so far, proved as futile as going into a fierce London derby, away from home, with no strikers in your starting XI.

The clip is the Doctor Knee sketch, from Chris Morris’s series Jam. Soundtracked by Brian Eno, it features actors David Cann & Amelia Bullmore ( best known for playing Sonja,the Ukranian girlfriend of TV’s Alan Partridge  – Don’t get Bond wrong !).

But watching the video for a scripted clue or a lead from one of the main names has, as ever, proven pointless. The only Chris Morris I know, in a footballing sense, is now in his 50s and no longer troubling the good people at Panini.

Then it hit me. What if Matthew has changed his modus operandi and is hinting at something else?   Assuming we aren’t signing a player with an injured knee (when would we ever do something like  that?) this could mean one of two other possibilities.

1 – That Scott Hogan is in line for a recall on Saturday following his well documented stint with the Griffin Park medical team. Has that period officially come to an end? Whilst, surely, too soon might we see him make a cameo from the bench? After all, he has been increasing his playing time for the development squad.

2 – That it may be somebody leaving us. The final scene of the sketch see the patient going through the ‘out’ door. If not the case of Scott leaving the doctor’s surgery, perhaps a departure (player or staff; on or off field) is imminent at Brentford? But who? And replaced by……?

Brian Little in for Rasmus or Phil as co-director of football? A rejig in the comms team? Peter Gilham finally hanging up his microphone?

I can’t see any of those happening and, besides, I’m normally as off target as Nick Proschwitz when it comes to unravelling Matthew’s clues.

Instead, we’ll await any update on Brentford official with intrigue. Then fail miserably to backwards translate

Chris Morris is now past the prime of his 1988 heyday – playing wise

  Nick Bruzon

 

 

Jota shows how to do it with class

With the news of James Tarkoffski refusing to play against Burnley still leaving a worse taste in the mouth than a stadium burger, it was news of another player who is leaving Brentford that brought nothing but good vibes and best wishes from the Griffin Park faithful. With Jota confirming his much anticipated 18 month loan move to SD Eibar in Span, it sees the departure of one of the most exciting players we’ve had the pleasure to see play in living memory.

Probably more important in the immediate short term was his method of delivering this news. A heartfelt and emotional letter shared on social media. “This isn’t “goodbye” but more of a “see you later” he notes about a decision “based solely on personal circumstances” . A glowing tribute to the club, his team mates and the supporters also includes the news that he has signed an additional year’s contract extension with Brentford.

Jota – will now be rushing into action for Eibar

The letter is still up on Twitter or you can read it in full at the bottom of this article. As a supporter I’m gutted but from a personal perspective you can only appreciate the situation he has found himself in and respect this decision. Contrast this with the news from Friday night prior to the Burnley game just to see who leaves Griffin Park with their head held high and nothing but best wishes and who skulks off with their tail between their legs.

“Jota. In the last minute”.

It is a phrase and chant that has become as familiar as, “Ooh Richy Cadette in the back of the net”, “ Big Ben Burgesssss” and “Owusuuuu” But then again, why wouldn’t it?

If ever there has a been a player to turn it on in style, at THE most important time, it was Jota. The moment of his goal against Nottingham Forest, and that solo run across Griffin Park towards the directors’ box in celebration, was something I’ll never forget. But the goal at home to arch rivals Fulham was the last minute winner to top them all.

The goal wrapped up a deserved three points as, with the clock well into the 90^th, it looked as though our chance to secure all three points and second place, our highest league position in 62 years, had gone. Then Jota arrived. His shot from distance left the goalkeeper flat-footed and sent the crowd bonkers.

Jota – his winner against Fulham at Griffin Park was quite exciting

And what he did in the home game, he repeated at Craven Cottage. With the game surely safe at a mere 3-1 to the Bees, and the Brentford supporters reminding our hosts what happened previously with (another) rendition of “Jota, in the last minute”, the Spaniard duly obliged. Again. A beautiful half volley into the roof of the net from twelve yards out gave the scoreline an almost surreal feeling.

Even this season, but for a rogue linesman he’d have tied up another win at Craven Cottage. With the scores locked at 2-2 his beautiful header, in acres of space, secured the points before the official’s flag took them back with an ‘offside’ decision that TV subsequently proved wrong.

You can pick your Jota moment. For many, it was the wonderful solo goal up at Blackburn Rovers which inspired the infamous ‘Burridgegasm’ up in the Beesplayer commentary box. An incredible run and strike that summed up just how good he really can be and how lucky Eibar are to have him back in Spain.

Mark Burridge and Jota – the dream team

Flicking through my own season review (the cover of which was inspired by that goal against Forest), it’s incredible just how often his name comes up in relation to some trick, run, assist or stunning goal. You can’t replace a player of this ability yet, at the same time, one who always came across as a welcoming and friendly individual.

Brentford’s loss is very much Eibar’s gain. Despite our loss, I’ve never seen a player depart with such an outpouring of love and respect. Social media was awash with good wishes and tributes as the news broke. Such is the measure of the man.

Farewell, Jota. And THANK YOU. I hope we see you again.

A heartfelt letter from Jota

Nick Bruzon

And now Rangers join the mix as Brentford staff respond to rumours

Amidst the glut of Sheffield Wednesday and Burnley related transfer rumours currently doing the rounds at Brentford it was one out of leftfield, from Rangers, that had Bees fans talking yesterday. The BBC were among the news outlets to confirm that Mark Warburton had made a bid, which has been rejected, for supporter’s player of the year Toumani Diagouraga.

But first those longstanding stories about Alan Judge and James Tarkowski were finally confirmed by Dean Smith in an interview on the club’s YouTube channel. Whilst I don’t for one second believe anybody of any significance pays any attention to this column, fair play to the media team for putting the rumours which we’ve all read about direct to the Head Coach. And you can see this on the video, where he also expands on the Jota situation, below.

Dean Smith speaks

As mentioned in Tuesday’s column, I really didn’t think that was our style (discussing rumours up front). Yet Dean confirmed, “We’ve had bids for Alan Judge and James Tarkowski but we’ve turned both of them down” although didn’t go so far as to confirm these were Sheffield Wednesday and Burnley. And the reason, “We’re in a position where we don’t want to sell our players at the moment…we want to keep our better players at the football club”.

So all the right noises and just what supporters would hope to hear. Sentiments echoed, likewise, by co-director of football Phil Giles on the latest Beesotted podcast – which you can find here . Stay for the full hour twenty experience or jump straight to Phil’s piece 11 minutes into the playback. Either way, very well worth a listen and hats off to Dave and Billy for nabbing another exclusive. Phil comes across very well whilst the probing questions certainly bear a considered listen.

As for Toumani, well it was no doubt Mark Warburton would be hoping to take some former players to Rangers. Indeed, Warbs has already signed up former golden boy Harry Forrester after his jumping ship for the dream of Championship football with Doncaster quickly turned into a nightmare.

But the bid to lure Toumani sees a significant step up in Mark’s intent, given this a player who is still a regular in a Brentford team pushing for the Premier League play offs. Was the £100,000 bid, which of course was rejected, just the first salvo in a bidding war to lure the ever popular midfielder.

Toumani, Sam, Buzz and Buzzette. Bees for years and massively popular

Whilst there’s no doubt we have a huge selection in the middle of the park, Toumani is surely one of the first names on the teamsheet, around whom the others fit. If nothing else, there’d be huge disappointment if he leaves – for Rangers or elsewhere – prior to scoring a goal.

What happens next is going to be a very interesting test of the club’s ambition versus the obvious lure presented by a lorry load of cash. Whilst I’m just the numpty on the terrace rather than any insider, I’m not that stupid as to realise that every player does have his price. Indeed, this is something Phil discusses on that Beesotted interview.

Are we prepared to fight for our players – as seems to be the intent from the first round of bids? Or is this simply just a case of playing the waiting game? With the transfer window remaining open for the best part of another four weeks, there’s simply no reason to jump at the first bid – if that is our long term goal.

My own personal feel for all of this is that at least one of these three will leave before Jim White declares the window as officially slammed shut. If nothing else, the financial rewards for playing top-flight football, with buckets of TV money sloshing around, do help compensate some of this initial investment. As long as the bidding club do then make the ‘promised land’, of course.

Dean Smith did acknowledge an element of rotation will be in effect on Saturday. This works for him in potentially camouflaging any sales we may be considering. Tuesday night against league leaders Middlesbrough, a game where surely your first choice XI need to start, will be a very different and interesting selection.

Until then, despite all the speculation and opinion, there’s nothing any of us can do to stop or influence matters. Alan Judge will leave the Bees at some point in his career as, I’d suspect, will Toums, Tarks and most of this team. Let’s just hope it isn’t until the summer time, at the least.

Despite our slow start to the campaign, this team is tearing up the blindside. I’d love to see it given at least another six months to see what we can do. Will money talk or will we hold it altogether?

The next few days could prove to be extremely ‘squeaky bum’ time for those wanting to hang on to our current squad.

Nick Bruzon  

Can Brentford repeat last season’s double six over Fulham?

Today’s the day. Brentford visit Fulham with Bees fans hoping for a performance and result even half as good as last season’s 4-1 thumping of our neighbours at The Cottage. Coming off the back of Jota’s late, late winner at Griffin Park (in the last minute, wasn’t it…?) six points and six goals against our nearest and dearest was more than anybody had a right to hope for. But that was then and this is now. So what about today?

I’ve had some ‘interesting’ observations (that’s the polite word) over the last two columns in regards to my own build up and lack of “A proper assessment of THIS game”. Whilst the regular reader will know we concentrate as much on the ‘other stuff’ that goes with Brentford as we do on previews/reports, if it stops Mr X from crying then here it is:

We’ll beat Fulham.

To enlarge upon that, I think that even the most optimistic amongst us would be pushing it to expect the same as last time out. Then again, looking at the facts, why not? Our own last performance, against MK Dons, was one that saw a 2-0 win, the woodwork thumped three times, decent penalty shouts denied, goal line clearances, an offside effort ruled out and the excellent Alan Judge presented with a Claytonesque moment when clean through in the first half. Frankly, it could have been brackets.

Lasse Vibe had a goal denied by the flag against MK

Fulham, meanwhile, suffered a 3-0 hammering at the hands of Nottingham Forest and are still looking to replace manager Kit Symons. It’s now over a month since he was sacked although Stuart Gray has been named as an interim ‘Senior Coach’ , whilst the search for a permanent ‘head’ continues.

“It’s no secret that Fulham have the second worst goals conceded record in the League”. Those aren’t my words but those of the Cottagers own in-house YouTube channel for an interview with Gray.

It’s an interesting piece (to be found at the end of this column) and certainly one any Brentford fan looking to get the opposition perspective would do well to watch. If only for some quite blunt questions and some honest answers.

“We do defend with eleven; we do attack with eleven. What we haven’t done, we haven’t defended set plays very well so this week we’ve concentrated on showing the players where we’re going wrong,” said Gray when pushed on the defensive set up of the team.

Likewise, when the club acknowledge that, “Last season’s result smarts with a lot of Fulham fans,” he is savvy enough to admit that “bragging rights are up for grabs and that’s the most important thing.”

I take all of this to mean we can expect a very turgid line up and formation from the home side. Priority one will be to avoid defeat and putting eleven men behind the ball will be the way to achieve this. So what about the Bees?

Well, as anybody who bore witness to the MK Dons game will know, when the midfield turns it on we are a force to be reckoned with. Moreso, given the attaking options on the bench presented by the likes of Jota, Andy Gogia and Sam Saunders (did somebody mention defensive frailties from set plays?).

Gray can park the bus all he wants but when the likes of a Jota, Judge, Saunders or Canos are running at you full tilt then not even Chelsea could stop them. Mind you, on current form Chelsea would be doing well to stop a team of pensioners.

Stuart Gray’s pre-match talk suggests this is what we can expect

Likewise, Josh McEachran and Max Colin are both fit once more. Subject to fitness, I expect Dean Smith to, at least, start with the same team as last weekend . However, the return of Max Colin is the most intriguing one in my eyes. His performance prior to injury marked him out as potential game changer yet, in his absence, Nico Yennaris has done nothing but shine.

It’s fair to say that, perhaps unfairly, Nico has had his critics but my hasn’t he proven them wrong? At the end of the day (Clive), you don’t come through the ranks at Arsenal without being ‘any good’. I’m sure he’ll be picked again today but the chance for more competition amongst the squad and cover in case of injury can only be a good thing.

Victory for Brentford today would take us to within three points of fifth place, as things currently stand, and nine clear of Fulham. That said, the table is still so tightly packed that, perhaps, Stuart Gray has it right. At least in part.

The BBC table shows just what victory would do – for either team

Bragging rights are up for grab but victory is absolutely key. Personally, I’d take the win above all else. Even if it came by a solitary goal. This time. If we can do it in style, then all the better.

After Marinus departed, Lee Carsley did a fantastic job in getting us to this position. Being honest, a lot of Brentford fans were probably expecting us to be more at the trapdoor end of the table, such was the mood around the place until Lee ‘did his thing’.

Following the news that Lee has now moved on himself (as expected at some point) following early completion of the handover to Dean Smith, what better way than to sign off than with a win.

See you at the game .

Nick Bruzon

Crazy capers, Christmas jumpers and Paul McCartney (kind of)

With Brentford set to play Fulham on Saturday, I was reminded of a simple yet wonderful truth. “Caper is a stunning word”. Not my quote (although certainly sentiments I agree with) but those of one New Road wag with whom I was discussing the forthcoming game. A discussion which led, at a tangent, to popular music’s Wu-Tang Clan and from there to an abhorrent video coming out of QPR, which we’ll get to shortly.

Fans of the group (Wu-Tang Clan, not QPR) will, I am sure, be aware of their ‘Once Upon A Time In Shaolin’ album. A 31 track effort of which there has only been one copy ever produced and that sold at auction for USD2million to drugs baron (in a medical sense) Martin Shkreli.

However, the story took a bizarre turn on Thursday when an alleged clause in the sale contract, detailing how the group could regain possession of their record, was made public. Specifically via the medium of legally planning and attempting “to execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon A Time In Shaolin.”

Is this for real? Who cares .

I don’t know what the best part of this is. Bill Murray? The stunning use of brackets? Or just the phrase “ execute one (1) heist / caper” ? Truly, a pair of words more commonly associated with slapstick comedies or trashy crime thrillers.

The byproduct of reading this was my thinking more about how I could crowbar either one into today’s article. And with Brentford and Fulham about to meet at The Cottage once more, a cheap bit of photoshoppery and sledgehammer like unsubtlety, in combination with the aforementioned comedy, seemed the obvious solution.

For once, PG isn’t Peter Gilham …

Coming soon to a stadium near you?

As for QPR, words fail me…

Whilst Alan Partridge may have famously noted, “ Wings – the band that The Beatles could have been”, nobody deserves to be treated this badly.

I’d recommend you don’t press play. Not even in an ironic sense. Words can’t describe just how toecurlingly bad this is . Where’s Keith Stroud and his red card when you need him?

You have been warned. Watch this at your own risk

That wasn’t the only video to see the light of day on Thursday. Griffin Park, so often the location for film crews needing a local football ground, has starred again.

This time in a promotional film for Sky Sports and their coverage of Football League fixtures over the Christmas period. Given their spannering of my trip to Brighton, I shouldn’t really be over indulging in their promotion but there are a number of aspects that caught my interest.

Primarily, as one observer on the Ealing Road has pointed out, Kurt and the marketing chaps really have taken Peter Gilham’s much touted new public address system to ridiculous levels.

“This is Brentford Control…”

Then, of course, there is an appearance from another familiar face in Brentford circles. And I don’t mean Jeff Stelling who, to the best of my knowledge, has never had any involvement with the Bees or our fans – certainly beyond a squeal of excitement as we locked horns with his beloved Hartlepool back in October 2012.

That, a game which saw a brace from Paul Hayes – his first goals for the Bees – before Tony Craig rescued a point for the Monkeyhangers with a 90^th minute own goal. Grown men wept. Others just reached for the vodka bottle as Brentford conspired to snatch a 2-2 draw from the jaws of certain victory – Harlee Dean having previously helped the visitors along by scoring their first (own) goal.

Still, I digress. There aren’t any prizes on offer for figuring out that, of course, Brentford super fan Natalie Sawyer is also donning her best Christmas jumper for this one.

Who doesn’t like a Christmas jumper?

And if you’d like to see more of Jeff, Natalie and Griffin Park all doing their thing then the full video is below. Although Sky, don’t think I’m any happier about Brighton.

That said, it still beats QPR’s attempt to sleigh Paul McCartney.

Nick Bruzon

Liverpool loanee playing with the big boys but Jota is still King

With three successive wins under the belt and the small matter of a derby game with QPR on Friday, it’s fair to say that things are again moving in the right direction for Brentford. With Liverpool loanee Sergi Canos apparently picking (current) club over country for the win over Charlton rather than the Spanish U-19s, team spirit would seem to be as alive and well in the first team as it is on the terraces at Griffin Park.

And nowhere moreso was this demonstrated than on Twitter yesterday where our Spanish contingent seems to have been up to all sorts of training ground high jinks. Canos started it, along with Marcos Tebar, but Jota has certainly finished it – for now….

It all began with Jota’s car. A very sleek looking white number (what I know about motor vehicles you could write on the back of a stamp) but with added ‘go faster stripes’.

“Now Comes autumn”, said Canos’s caption as he and Tebar took ownership for this prank. Is this really how they do things in Liverpool?

What Sergi Canos started…

Retribution was swift. And wet. Very wet. Jota putting the boot in (quite literally) along with the reminder for any young upstarts not to play with the big boys.

With Canos now training in a wetsuit, his only comeback was the rather ominous sounding note that “you have won the battle but not the war”… Could there be more localised autumnal weather heading towards the Brentford training ground?

….Jota finished

Still, you can understand The Three Amigos (damn, couldn’t quite make it without obligatory cliché) being in such high spirits following wins for Brentford over Rotherham United, Wolves and Charlton Athletic. And the club have released a compilation video to highlight a quite breathtaking eight days of football.

Starting with Alan Judge and his wonderful volley against Rotherham, it runs through all the recent Bees action, culminating in Lasse Vibe’s strike from the win over Charlton on Saturday. I’m still not sure which is my favourite in what, with three goals and three assists, seems to be a show reel for the Irish international.

The first against Rotherham was a stunning bit of technique and timing that had the entire ground on it’s feet at the quality of the effort. But watching the Charlton highlights, the way Judge flicked on with his head before embarking on that huge run and cross really needs to be seen again. And again.

If there is any disappointment to be found with this, it is the reference to our “Magnificent Seven” that accompanies the video. Surely everybody knows this should be a Magnificent 7 (seven)?

Welcome to the Alan Judge show

And finally. It seems like it was Barnaby, in the car park, with the rogue radio mic.

Following yesterday’s story as to the entire crowd at AFC Bournemouth being treated to the phrase “F**king hell, it was like men against boys “ over the public address system, the Cherries have been happy to accept the explanation offered by one Tottenham fanatic, preparing to make a fan video. Namely, that he just happened to have tuned into the exact same radio frequency that Bournemouth use around the stadium at the exact same moment he was having a pop at them.

Several supporters have been in touch to clarify that Bournemouth’s own ‘man with the mic’ indeed had the mic nowhere near his lips at the time of the incident. Moreso, Bournemouth have also issued a statement confirming it was, indeed, Barnaby who uttered the fateful profanity.

I’m still not entirely convinced by the ‘accidental’ angle but the important thing is we’ve all had a good laugh and, likewise, been able to remember that even in the uber-sanitised world of the Premier League, scope remains for this sort of comedy gold.

Nick Bruzon