Best. Club. Ever. It was a very merry Christmas as doors to the ground thrown open for young fans.

13 Dec

Yours Truly writing this particular column seems almost as seasonal a repeat as BBC1 showing the Mrs Browns Boys Christmas Special. Yet whilst that is the ultimate in festive hell (with nary a ho, ho or ho in sight) Brentford was the place to be last night with seasonal goodwill and Christmas cheer in abundance. At a time when most of the football world would have had their eyes on Burnley going fourth in the Premier league (why thank you for the Fantasy Football points, number 26) or Chelsea winning a game once more, over in TW8 it was a case of all down to Griffin Park for the Junior Bees Christmas get together.

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Mrs Brown – a festive repeat undoubtedly coming. Sadly, the same can’t be said for laughs

And, as ever, whilst you may have read this before it bears repeating. The squad, the staff, the mascots and the entertainers were beyond compare. Talking to the youngsters, signing player cards, posing for photos and hosting all manner of football related games. Giant jenga with Romaine Sawyers and Daniel Bentley (smart lads, bagging an indoor spot). A tour of the dressing room with John Egan . Ollie Watkins and Neal Maupay in charge of the snowball toss. It had it all. And more.

Special mention to Brentford head coach Dean Smith, too. My four year old knows what Dean does – amongst other things, he picks the players. As such, the pair of us (me and Harry, not me and Dean) had needed a long chat in September about where his former favourite Harlee Dean had gone. So I was shocked and surprised (pleasantly so) when the normally shy four year old asked him: “Why has Harlee Dean joined the naughty team”?

Let’s just say that his response was both utterly professional yet, at the same time, displaying a sense of humour that has certainly tickled Harry. Thank you, Dean.

And thanks, as ever to all at Brentford. I love this club. I love what they do for the fans. Would you get this at a Chelsea or a Manchester United? I neither know nor care. I don’t support them and I don’t live overseas. My suspicion is a no. And certainly not for free. Yet Brentford, a top half of the table Championship club, were quite happy to throw open the doors once more. And it was wonderful.

Harry is still enthusing about it this morning. And that’s only a good thing.

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Sergi and Josh just running the ‘ being popular’ stall

Nick Bruzon

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Post Hull City fall out is of an unexpected kind.

10 Dec

We regret that due to 3mm of snow falling in Brentford there will be no Last Word today. No update on yesterday’s 3-2 loss for the Bees at Hull City.

The Last Word apologises for any inconvenience caused.

Normal service will be resumed ahead of Brentford v Barnsley on Saturday.

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Nick Bruzon

Green light given for final Lionel Road Stadium amendments.

8 Dec

You may not have been aware in advance but there was a meeting of the Hounslow Council Planning Committee last night. Most Brentford supporters have understandably been focussing on the weekend’s game at Hull City whilst the club have playing things relatively low key (at least in public; behind the scenes I know all concerned have not relented and the hard work has been continuing) since August’s announcement about the redesign to our original plans.

There was the very public fans’ forum shortly after and then the attention has been on continuing the work of levelling the site. No doubt we’ve all seen the footage in regards to the demolition of Capital Court.

Then, last night, this appeared. Sometimes one tweet is all you need.

That’s it. No fanfare. No local news stories. Nothing on Brentford ‘official’. But it IS fantastic. Scroll up, read it again and absorb.

In a project that has seen the club having to clear more hurdles than Ed Moses, this is another landmark moment. True, it was one of our own making in looking to refine the plans after the Council (and other bodies) had already granted their initial support but there was always that worry that things might not go our way this time. Changing opinions and changing faces might alter what should, in theory, have been a decision we were all hoping for.

But no! Agreement is in place and with next season likely to be our last full campaign at Griffin Park (subject to the usual league dispensations regarding the terracing etc) expect progress to continue apace. Matthew Benham, Mark Devlin and the rest of those involved will be adding ‘hard hat and shovel’ to their Christmas present list ahead of that ceremonial ‘breaking ground photo’. That said, perhaps ‘monorail conductors costume’ is a step to far at this stage, even for Santa Claus.

I’ve no doubt official will give us all the news and next steps today. Presumably the wi-fi in the council chambers meant we couldn’t upload any celebratory GIFs etc last night. Likewise, expect online coverage to include stories along the lines of : This Brentford player remains of keen interest for Chelsea, Watford and Barcelona (as stadium progress agreed).

Good luck to them. It’s great news to wake up to . Likewise, to read last night for those of us just coming in from work.

Now, Mr. Benham. If your reading and need some shovel work, my hat size is….

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Diggers have already been at work clearing the site at Lionel Road

All of which means we’ve little time / space to talk about Saturday’s opponents, Hull City. Having sacked Leonid Slutsky during the week, they have moved to immediately appoint Nigel Adkins as their new manager. There’s been no time for a caretaker to fill the void and the BBC report that Adkins will be in charge for Saturday’s game.

Can he reverse their fortunes? Can he arrest the Tigers’ slump? Or will Dean Smith’s team continue their strong run of form?

Roll on Saturday at 3pm when we find out.

Nick Bruzon

As Bees prepare to go to Hull, will Championship form prevail or could ‘that stat’ take hold ?

7 Dec

Another weekend approaches. For some, the stress of Christmas shopping. For others, the chance for some time out from the relentlessness of the Festive build up and the excitement of football. Personally, my focus will be all about Kingston-upon-Hull rather than Kingston shopping centre. The current UK City of Culture being the destination this Saturday for a Brentford team looking to pick up where we left off against Fulham last weekend. That wonderful 3-1 win a perfect return to winning ways for Dean Smith’s team. Likewise, there’s still an interest at the bottom of the table where #tentimesbetter Birmingham City slithered back into the relegation zone following another defeat on Monday night.

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Another afternoon, another win. This time Fulham were the team to be steam-rollered

First up, Brentford and our trip to Hull City. Spirits should be high in Dean Smith’s camp. Last weekend’s obliteration of Fulham (where only David Button kept it respectable) saw the Bees rise up the table to within a win of eighth placed Leeds United. Those ‘difficult’ first few months – both in terms of results and the deadline day firesale to Birmingham City – all seem a long way off now. True, we’ve still had some iffy moments (such as the finish up the road last Monday, the first half with Sunderland or the entire game with Burton Albion) but the team seems a lot more settled.

A feat all the more impressive given how patched together we are at present. At least, on the surface. Two fullbacks playing out side of their traditional positions and Romaine Sawyers having to spend most of Saturday operating as frontman / false 9 (delete as applicable). Yet Josh Clarke and Yoann Barbet have more than settled in to moving around the pitch whilst you can’t deny the impact Romaine had against Fulham. Certainly he was my man of the match, for whatever that’s worth, although one would suspect his position there won’t be a permanent one !

It’s funny, because with the transfer window opening next month all the talk is likely to be about Ryan Woods. A player very much in form, with a huge reputation, incredible ability and now well into his third season at Griffin Park he is ‘classic’ transfer target material. Yet, for me, Josh Clarke would be an equal worry – certainly in terms of players who might end up coming under the spotlight. His talent is without question; his versatility a real strength. At a time when we’ve had to move things around he’s played at left back, right back and in his traditional mid-filed berth. He overlaps on the break and has even weighed in with the odd goal. If ever there was an unsung hero for this season then, for me, it’s Josh.

All being well, we won’t need / choose to sell anybody in January. All being well, players will look further ahead and realise the benefits of staying at Griffin Park. Certainly, it hasn’t worked out too well for the Birmingham City three. Rather than striding towards the Premier League, they find themselves doing their best to pay a visit to League One with only Sunderland and Burton Albion below The Blues in the table.

Desperately unlucky Maxime Colin finds himself injured whilst Jota has hardly settled into the side. His starring role has been reduced to one of advertising the club’s Christmas range.

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Sad times – all round

As for poor old Harlee Dean, where do you start? He certainly made a rod for his own back. As if his infamous ‘Ten Times Better’ quote about the Bees (a clear contender for the 2017/18 Russell Slade celebrated like the FA Cup award ) wasn’t bad enough, he now misses the Blues trip to Fulham on Saturday after getting sent off against Wolves on Monday night.

In case we needed any reminding of that one (the soundbite rather than the red card) then here you go. Some things deserve to be repeated:  “We’ve got quality in that squad. I’ve been in teams where we’ve finished fifth in this league and missed out on promotion by play offs. And this squad is ten times better than that. Its just about getting the balance right.

Look. I didn’t want to overly talk about Birmingham City today. It’s kind of just happened as the words have fallen out. But they’re not setting the world on fire and having blown all that cash back at the end of August (thank you very much) I can’t see them being allowed to do a repeat in January. That’s their issue though. Work with what they’ve got left, just like we’ve had to do after selling them some prize assets. And Harlee.

Personally, I wrote some pretty emotive stuff about them and us at the time. Especially the morning after deadline day. I stand by that in terms of how I felt. It was raw, it was a shock and on the surface it seemed like footballing suicide for a team that were, back then, struggling to play their way out of a paperbag. Form that continued in the immediate aftermath. Indeed, there’s a part of me that still aches to think of Jota in the doldrums when he was so adored, and so elegant, at Griffin Park. Football is a passionate game and that triple sale, as much in the timing and the destination, came like a bolt from the blue. Quite literally.

Yet, and has been said many times, I’m just the numpty on the terrace. I know nothing of any real insight. I’ve never denied it. Things have worked out. And how! Meanwhile, Birmingham City are in their own mess. That’s their board’s problem. So long and thanks for all the cash.

Brentford continue their inxeroable ascent of the Championship table with the prospect of free scoring Emiliano Marcondes to come in January and Alan Judge putting in 45 minutes for the B-team. His goalscoring appearance against Barnet on Tuesday probably getting the biggest cheer of the week in our house (see also: return of Lewis Macleod v Fulham). Moreso, his declaration that he feels “normal-ish” .

You can get that story in full on ‘official’.

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Official have all the news on this one !

And so with confidence high, we head North on Saturday. The starting XI seems a lot more settled and we have form on our side. The Bees have only lost once in the last thirteen league games (Cardiff City away) and now have the top third of the table is in our sights. Facing us, a Hull City side sitting just outside the relegation spots and featuring former Bee Jon Toral.

On paper you’d call this one as ‘away’ win . If you were a neutral. Nothing is that cut and dried when you are a fan though. The jinx conscious amongst us might point to their sacking manager Leonid Slutsky during the week.

The reverse effect to winning manager of the month (an award that may aswell come with ‘L’ tagged on), the appointment of a caretaker comes with that almost inevitable fillip of a team in decline winning their next game.

Then there’s the ‘B’ team thing. Hull City have only recorded four league wins all season. All four have come against teams whose name start with the letter B.
4-1 v Burton (h);
4-0 v Bolton (h)
6-1 v Birmingham City (h) . Stop. Sniggering…
1-0 v Barnsley (a)

Granted, that’s not in the Luis Melville category of statistical genius, but much has been made of it in the media and it makes semi-interesting review. Until you hit the stumbling block of their game with Bristol City last month. That one ended in a 3-2 defeat to The Robins .

Jinx over. The road is clear for the Bees to do their thing. Moreso given I’ve not, to date, read of a caretaker being appointed. Instead, it looks as though they are going to jump straight to Nigel Adkins. Certainly, if the local press is to be believed.

As for the thing that will really impact us, on field performance, I’d suggest the BBC or Beesotted are your best bets. Honestly, I haven’t seen enough this season to form a significant opinion about how reflective of ability Hull City’s current position genuinely is. However, as somebody far wiser than me once said: “The table doesn’t lie”. Nor do the bookmakers, who have Brentford as 6/5 favourites to win this one.

Then again. They can’t call it and all three results are at a generous price. Roll on Saturday when we find out if form will prevail.

Nick Bruzon

Rampant Brentford exorcise the memory of QPR and render Fulham pointless.

3 Dec

Where do you start with that one? A 3-1 demolition of Fulham at Griffin Park on Saturday saw Brentford make it 4 points out of 6 from back-to-back West London derbies. With it, the Bees moved into the top half of the Championship table and above both our near neighbours. It was the perfect tonic following the disappointment of the final few moments at QPR earlier this week and a performance that shows just what Dean Smith’s team can do when they put their minds to it.

Ollie v Fulham

Another afternoon, another win

Mind you it was a case of very much adjusting to the game and, subsequently, each other. A hamstring Injury to Lasse Vibe early on (and no recognised striker on the bench) saw Romaine Sawyers coming on to sit up top. A so called ‘False 9’ as Dean would later refer to him. Whilst we’ve tried this one before, at QPR two seasons ago – the only time they’ve beaten us in the last 7(seven) encounters – this time things were different for Brentford. So very different.

For a moment it looked shaky. The Bees went a goal down after Fulham were given the freedom of the Griffin Park back four. The visitors were lining up to slide home one time Bee Ryan Fredericks’ cross. In the end it was Neeskens Kebano who did the needful at the back post. Daniel Bentley then kept us in it with a wonder save but from that point on it was one way traffic.

Ollie Watkins set off on a quite wonderful run through the middle of the park, covering close to 50 yards before releasing Sergi Canos to leave David Button no chance. Canos (and the Fulham defence) take the glory but full kudos to Ollie for a lungbusting run.

1-1 at half time and the Bees came out to pick up where they left off. The half had barely begun when Romaine Sawyers made it 2-1. The player may feel he was in the right place at the right time although the goal had as much to do with the omens in the stand and on the terrace. Got to love a lucky shirt, lucky fleece (amazing where you get the inspiration from) and a Trevor Extra Strong Mint. Many thanks John – the real hero of the afternoon as man in the right place at the right time with the lucky confectionary.

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Lucky shirt. Lucky fleece. Lucky sweets. Nothing lucky about the win

With Fulham reduced to ten men, following the customary red card from referee Bobby Madley it really was game over. A detail confirmed with just five minutes to go as Romaine Sawyers set up Ollie Watkins to close things out. Two goals up against West London neighbours with just moments left on the clock. What could go wrong? Five minutes of injury time, that’s what!

But whereas Monday saw Brentford hit the self-destruct at QPR,  this time around there was to be no such repeat. Ball retention was the key as we passed it around, backwards and even had the odd probe to see down the clock.

3-1 it finished. What a result. What a performance. What an afternoon. There were tears from Fulham official. What a shame they didn’t get the chance to use their shiny new GIF. Please, stop sniggering.  There was even a gif in return as the ghost of the Obama meme threatened to raise its head once more. It was beautiful ! Well played the Brentford media team on hitting the perfect balance, this time.

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A word or two, also, about Mr. Madley. We all know him of old, especially ‘that’ game at Leyton Orient. Officious, pernickety, trigger happy and more cards than a Clintons sale. Yet I thought he had a great game yesterday.

True, there were a few moments where he couldn’t help but be his over-officious self but he called the cards right – including the yellow for Sergi who had seemed to go in dangerously, albeit not connecting. But given the lack of protection we’ve had at times this season, the four yellows (including a second for Fulham’s Odoi) were spot on. As were the proliferation of dead balls awarded in an otherwise open game that was, generally, allowed to flow.

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View from the terrace : When Sergi met Bobby

Sergi Canos was understandably named man of the match. I love watching him in action. The skill, the speed, the enthusiasm. Yet, for me I think Romaine probably just deserved it. A goal, an assist and a player very much a fish out of water in terms of the role he was asked to play. As Dean would later note on ‘official’, “I know, at times, he isn’t everyone’s favourite but I thought his performance today was excellent.

Dean, I couldn’t agree more.

As ever, the video highlights are up on Sky. Probably worth a watch before we get treated to Mark Burridge’s version. If his commentary is anywhere near as good as his post match Twitter then they’re going to be compulsory viewing when these go live after mid-day.

What a finish. What a way to celebrate rainbow laces day. Top half of the table, current kings of West London and a fine, fine performance from Dean Smiths’ injury hit team. But perhaps the biggest cheer of the afternoon was that for somebody returning from injury, Lewid Macleod. How good was it so see him back on the Griffin Park pitch? It seems an eternity since he was stretchered off at Loftus Road last season.

The road to return has certainly been a long one but, again, as impressive a display from the club in looking after our long term sick as the player in putting in all those hard yards. Nice one, Lewis.

Next up, a certain Mr. Judge? Here’s hoping….

The sun is past the yard arm so the video censors let Mark do his thing

All that’s to come, though. For now let’s just enjoy the moment and savour a fine win. Matthew Benham, back in his customary place at the front of the director’s box after a surprise ‘substitution’ against Burton, seemed ecstatic as the second half goals flew in. Certainly, those in the paddock and around the ground were. Except, perhaps, in the away end. If only they’d had a nice, new GIF.

It’s our fourth season in the Championship and, it would be fair to say, that derby day form has certainly been with the Bees. Jota in the last minute at Griffin Park, Sam Saunders with that fifth minute beauty and Stuart Dallas doing ‘that thing’ at the Cottage during our 4-1 steamrollering are amongst the many highs.

This one felt as good as any of them. What an afternoon. What a result !!

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Who needs Pointless or Strictly Dancing for Saturday entertainment ?

Nick Bruzon

The top talking points from the World Cup draw (and the small matter of Brentford v Fulham).

2 Dec

Brentford v Fulham. Derby day pt.2. It must be rare for a local game to have been less under the spotlight during the build up as this one. First up, we’ve had the residual bad taste of Monday night’s 2-2 with QPR. Not so much the result as Ian Holloway doing that desperate back pedal after slagging off his own supporters for ‘sneaking out’. And then there was the small matter of yesterday’s World Cup draw for Russia 2018.

We’ll start with Fulham. A win will take Brentford above the Cottagers in the league table and, subject to other results, into the top half of the Championship. I can only call this one as three points for the Bees. Lasse Vibe had two wonderful finishes against the not so super hoops , with the assist from Romaine for the second being something quite special. Sergio Canos showed his class, starting a game for the first time in I don’t know how long. Expect more of the same. Just perhaps, not, the 93rd and 94th minutes.

And if you’d like to read more…. there’s talk about both games in the ‘Park Life’ column that appears in today’s match day programme. Whilst I’d crave your indulgence for that self-promotion it is mentioned more for a sledge hammer like unsubtle link to, erm, today’s match day programme. (#seamless).

With this edition highlighting the ‘Rainbow laces’ campaign (and on that subject, don’t forget to check out the Beesotted podcast this week – below), cover star is none other than Andreas Bjelland. Danish International Andreas Bjelland. The World Cup’s Andreas Bjelland.

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This week’s cover star…

Yesterday’s draw saw England line up against Belgium, Panama and Tunisia. A kinder draw you couldn’t have asked for, on paper. Moreso when the two teams who get through will play one of Poland , Senegal, Colombia or Japan in the last 16. On paper, as kind a start as one could hope for. On paper…..

Yet for Andreas, things are slightly different. Whilst there doesn’t seem to be an out and out ‘group of death’, Denmark won’t have it easy agasint France, Austrlia and Peru in Group C. Mind you, I’m sure they’ll all be thinking the same about Denmark in group that Nick Harris ( @sportingintel on Twitter) has noted is the rankings tightest.

Also clear is what Harris declares to be “A clear Group of Life – the Group A of hosts Russia”. I would also accept: ‘The Group of dull’

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Along with the hosts it is a pool that features Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Uruguay. Luck of the draw is, indeed, a wonderful and fortuitous thing.

Yet it is a group that also gives us our first chance of that World Cup staple: “For those of you just coming in from work, the score is….. “ Expect that at about 5.17pm on Thursday 14th June during the opening a game. A 4pm kick off between Russia and Saudi Arabia.

That opener is, likewise, a game you can expect to see on ITV. Certainly, if the BBC ‘live updates’ are to be believed.

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And talking of the BBC (Nurse, bring me the industrial crowbar) Phil Neville may have been England’s dullest pundit at France 2014 but there was no doubt he was on form during the draw. Robbie Savage sticking his head above the parapet and getting immediately slapped down.

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Savage and Neville weren’t the only pundits getting involved. Anybody worth their salt had an opinion. And also Ian Moose. Sadly, there was to be no picture of him and ‘My good friend, Vladimir Putin.’ (Something Diego Maradona did achieve, for the record). Instead, the best Talk Sport’s ‘finest’ could do in that ongoing quest to blow his own trumpet was a snap with Carlos Valderrama.

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Other things to look out for will be FIFA no doubt calling the first knockout stage ‘The round of 16’. Like the Fake Olympic terms : Team GB and ‘to medal’ (see also: Wednesday’s column – I’m still thankful for the chance to vent) something that is both wrong and which has been allowed to seep into popular parlance over the last few events. It’s actually the Last 16. I would also accept: The second round.

Have selfie stick, will travel. Brentford fan Billy Grant will be one of many Bees in attendance. He’s already confirmed he will be in attendance. His roving reports providing an wonderful flavour of what happened last time out in France – the great and the not so. Stan Collymore, he ain’t. Expect more of the same this time around (all being well, the great) .

Still, all that’s to come. There’s over six months until we start sticking wall charts to fridges, whip ourselves into a lather of excitement before an eventual quarter final capitulation for England.

Until then, here’s to forgetting about QPR on Monday. There’s a West London derby to win. Fulham are on the way over to Griffin Park. And I can’t wait.

See you there.

And if you need some more listening before kick off, here’s the link to that Beesotted podcast….

Nick Bruzon

Move along, we go again etc etc. There’s a lot more to frustrate you than Monday.

29 Nov

Queens Park Rangers 2 Brentford 2. Take a look in the record books and that’s what you’ll see following Monday night’s trip to Loftus Road. So QPR salvaged a point as their manager used his post match interview to savage their fans. And? Move along, there are bigger fish to fry – like Fulham on Saturday.

I didn’t write anything on these pages yesterday. Whilst I’d normally do so immediately after a game, this was different. We all know what happened on Monday night. Although some thoughts were penned (for the Fulham matchday programme), sitting down at the computer with my espresso to start this blog I couldn’t do it. Not that there was any particular reluctance, albeit the evening had ended in what could politely be described as a ‘frustrating conclusion’ , but as I looked at the coffee to try and clear that post-match fug  the mind began to wander. And wander. In no particular order

‘Expresso’. FFS, it’s Espresso. Es. Not Ex. What part of anybody with eyes in their head and the ability to read thinks ‘s’ is pronounced ‘x’?

Mrs Brown’s Boys. It’s a man. In a wig.

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Mrs Brown. Man? Tick.  Cardigan? Tick.   Wig? Tick.   Jokes?   Move along, nothing to see here

Katie Hopkins. Saying. Anything. Just shut up. Please.

The demise of the Brentford ‘Terrace Talk’ video feature.

Getting Ant and Dec wrong – how is that possible? Ant always stands on the left (contractual obligation to stop old people getting confused).

Ian Moose and his ego. The man has more good friends than Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis.

Len Goodman’s ‘Partners In Rhyme’. The bastard offspring of Mrs Brown’s Boys (humour level) and Catchphrase as Len has somehow been convinced that he’s the new Bruce Forsyth. He isn’t.

Alan Green.

Team GB. Why? Where? How was this allowed to become a thing? We’re Great Britain . It’s not Mannschaft D or Equipe F.

On an Olympic vibe, the faux verb, ‘to medal’. I blame Sue Barker for that one.

Memes.

Surveys about the ‘Best James Bond ever’ that have Roger Moore ranked anywhere except number 1.

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Roger Moore at his best

Sir/Lord Alan Sugar saying ‘You’re fired’, Granted, it’s a catchphrase, but surely by definition his wannabe employees/ business partners need to be hired before being able to be fired?

Corporate Account hashtags on Twitter. Who could forget the joy of #BigNewAmbitions, #Novemberkings or #Trophyfriends?

The Stone Roses – how? Three good songs (at best).

Mrs Brown’s Boys. If ever The Emperor’s New Clothes was reimagined for the 21st Century then here it is.

Getting videprinter brackets wrong. They start at 7(seven), not sooner . Or, at least, they should.

Nick Knowles – that is, the version that has reinvented himself as a singer (although if you ever need a boost then the reviews section on Amazon for his new album is more entertaining than the product itself).

Eric Clapton – unplugged. Worst. Album. Ever. The plinky plonk versions. The toe curling between song ‘banter’. Six months in the back of an overland truck going across Africa with that locked on repeat in the tape deck is too much.

West Ham. See : Winning the World Cup in 1966. Trevor Brooking scoring a header. Media love in with their season long farewell to Upton Park. If only somebody had mentioned.

The England Supporters Band. Show me one person to claim this self-appointed bunch of trumpet wielding clowns enhance a game of football and I’ll show you a liar.

Band banned

Nobody asked for this

iPod headphones. For supposed technological giants, the singular inability of Apple to create a product that plays music inwards rather than outwards is one that astounds.

Footballers reassuring us that ‘We go again ‘ after a particularly bad performance.

Clackers and foam fingers to ‘enhance’ the atmosphere. See also: drums. Not quite in the same league as ‘that band’ but not far behind.

South West Rail automated apologies for the inconvenience. Specifically that bit where the system pauses that fraction of a second to crowbar in the sincerity level of their apology during a particularly bad delay.

John Bishop (adoration levels). Apparently he’s from Liverpool and likes football.

Peppa Pig. A terrible example for any young children who may be watching. And yes, I realise they’re her target audience but the amount of mud splattered shoes/trousers I’ve had to rescue over the years has seen a simmering, and one way, animosity build towards the porcine puddle jumper.

I could go on. The point being (aside from the fact I watch too much TV) that no matter how frustrating the circumstances of getting a draw away from home, there could be a lot more niggly things out there to annoy you. If nothing else, that’s still only 1 win for QPR out of our last 6 games since Brentford ascended to the Championship.

Instead, my focus is now on Saturday. On Fulham. On another win.

Oh, and did I mention Mrs Brown’s Boys?

Nick Bruzon

More pie, Ian? Professional loudmouth goes again.

25 Nov

With no game for Brentford until the small matter of Monday night’s trip to Queens Park Rangers, there’s been the chance for some time out. The usual Saturday routine has opened up whilst there was even the opportunity to watch a bonus game on Friday night as West Ham were held by Leicester City at the Olympic Stadium. Still, at least that point takes the Hammers out of the bottom thr… Ah, oh well.

I really can’t wait for Monday night’s action. Who doesn’t love a West London derby and form has certainly been on Brentford’s side in recent games with QPR. Three wins out of four in the league and, of course, the added bonus of knocking the hoops out of this season’s league cup. That, a 4-1 thrashing administered by the Bees, in which Neal Maupay starred and rounded off a great performance wit ha quite wonderful goal to make it 3-0.

Maupay scores a beauty for 3-0

Which is somewhat ironic considering professional pie-eater and motormouth Ian Moose is back on his his self-promotional bandwagon following the bile he spotted last weekend following our game at Cardiff. It was bad enough he took two bites at Neal Maupay then (likely the first time he’s ever left sufficient for a second bite) but having had time to consider his words, he’s gone again.

This time, using Friday’s column in The S*n to once more have a pop at our man and desperately beg Chief Executive Mark Devlin for a chance to come down to Jersey Road and demonstrate his skills. Please note: your definition of skills may vary.

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No doubt looking to get a rise out of us, there is of course no way that Mark Devlin – also given the standard, yet quite bizarre, Ian Moose nomenclature of ‘good friend’ – will cede to this nonsense. Yet it does beg the question of why an apparent professional has decided to keep prodding away at such an innocuous moment and, moreso, then use it to fuel his own ego?

It also prompts the poser as to whether there is anybody in the football world that Ian Moose doesn’t consider to be ‘his good friend’? And it wasn’t even, to the best of my knowledge, our Chief Executive’s birthday.

For crying out loud, he supports West Ham. And has the temerity to criticise players for not scoring goals..??!!. How is it down at the bottom of the Premier League, Mr Moose?. Please, if I laugh anymore I fear my sides will split (to coin a well used phrase). Besides, we’ve already seen how well he can do when given a clean shot at goal…

No doubt Ian will consider he has already achieved a moral victory. We’re talking about him again. And I apologise for biting. Maybe I should be the bigger man, although that’s not really possible when sitting in Ian Moose’s considerable shadow.

Yet with his constant badgering for a publicity stunt, let’s hope the club can be calmer than me and just ignore him. The last thing anybody needs is his sort of unwelcome attention around the training ground. Or Griffin Park, for that matter.

With fans already up in arms on social media, his reception will be frostier than the current winter weather. Give me Clem, any day of the week.

Instead, I’ll just leave it here with two other thoughts. First up, from Jim Levack (@JImblee1) on Twitter  – although apologies if anyone else got in here first – when he  noted earlier this week that: I might be slow but the irony of @nealmaupay18 being called out by a man whose favourite two words correctly pronounced are the striker’s surname has only just struck me #morepie.

And then an oldie but goodie from Mikael Silvestre…

Moose pie silvestre

Nick Bruzon

Move along. Nothing to see here. Bees go for a Burton.

22 Nov

We didn’t play very well at all. That’s the worst performance of the season.” Not my words but those of Brentford manager Dean Smith talking to BBC Billy Reeves following Tuesday night’s 1-1 draw at home to Burton Albion. He’s being kind. With back-to-back West London derbies approaching at QPR, then home to Fulham, it would have been the perfect time to pick up those shooting boots and get another win under the belt. Instead, the Bees limped to an insipid draw in one of the dullest games to grace Griffin Park in years.

Many gave this one a wide berth before kick off. The declared crowd of 7,957 was, presumably, a figure that included all season tickets. Looking around the ground there were as few people there as opportunities on the pitch. And that’s just in the away end where Burton looked as though they’d brought less than Aldershot.

Brentford Burton 2017 18

You’re so loud you sound like Aldershot.

If you were there, you know you’ll never get that time back. That’s football. Nobody impressed for Brentford, with Dean Smith apparently reading the riot act at half time. It was an act that must have fallen on deaf ears as he was forced into a double substitution just minutes after the restart. Woods and Yennaris off. Mcketch and Sergi on. Moments later came the one bright moment of the night. Flo Jo’s free kick from distance finding the back of the net and prompting an ecstatic celebration from the player, into the home dugout.

Tedium soon returned and despite their making no effort all evening, there was a certain inevitability about Burton scoring an equaliser. Instead of going for it, Brentford sat back. Brentford passed it sideways. Brentford faffed around. Brentford conceded the softest of headers at the back post with 12 minutes remaining. 1-1 it finished. Move along, nothing else to see or say.

Positives ? Well, we can look to 1 defeat in 10 games. We can look to Brentford remaining above QPR and Fulham in the Championship table, despite the Cottagers 5-4 win at Sheffield United. We can look to another point clear of the bottom three, surely the first priority for any side in this division at the start of the season. We can look to Dean Smith retaining faith in Neal Maupay after journalist Ian Moose made those quite pathetic and very public comments at the weekend.

Likewise, if we were going to have a below par performance then get it out of the system now. Whilst Dean would name an unchanged team for the third successive game, his own thoughts – which you can hear in full on Billy’s interview – were that perhaps he should have freshened things up a bit.

Personally, I’d have loved to have seen Sergi start. He was the one player to slightly liven things up. I’d also question Dean’s choice of substitutions but what do I know? I’m not going to sit here and slag off individuals. Moreso when collectively the team had a very off (and, to be fair, out of character) performance.

It was an odd one. When the highlight of the evening was marvelling at the efficiency of our ticket office in sorting out the faux pas that arose after one supporter 😉 discovered upon trying to enter the ground just before kick off that they’d bought their group of guests tickets for New Road rather than the terrace, then perhaps we leave it in the record books. They’ll show it ended with a 1-1 draw and another point for the Bees.

Perhaps that’s what we take from this game. The point and ever increased admiration for Mads and the ticketing team. Certainly, it makes slightly better reading than the tumbleweed moment we witnessed. Move along, nothing else to see. On an evening that had been promoted under the ‘Brentford nights’ banner it ended up being a bit of a ‘Brentford nightmare’.

Tumbleweed-862x574

Oh well. Supporters’ picking this one apart won’t change anything. That’s Dean’s job and no doubt he’ll focus on doing that this week. Certainly, he was quite vocal in recognising our and his faults.

Instead, we’ve got Monday night’s trip to QPR to look forward to. With the not so super hoops losing again (this time 2-0 at Derby) and a large contingent of Bees jumping on the 237, we’ve a great chance to continue our recent good form against Rangers. Just as long as the players turn up.

Nick Bruzon

Footballer doesn’t score. Chief Exec nails it…

19 Nov

Cardiff City 2 Brentford 0. I really wasn’t going to bother today following our first defeat in 9. Then the corpulent buffet burgler Ian Moose popped up and started chucking bile around. The same Ian Moose whose beloved West Ham lost to Watford on Sunday afternoon, thus cementing their position in the Premier League relegation zone.

Newsflash: Player doesn’t score goal.

FFS, it’s desperate stuff when a man who hasn’t even been at a game , can take a cheap pot shot at a player he’s not seen not scoring a goal he hasn’t seen. Sour grapes over West Ham not signing Scott Hogan? Sour grapes over West Ham not signing Jota? Or just general sour grapes ?

Whatever the reason, it takes a certain type of twit (yeah, that is a typo) to revel in a player who has scored three goals in his previous four games not making it four from five. A player, new to the squad but finding his feet and his form in a Championship side punching well above the weight that most journos would likely apply to #teamslikeBrentford.

DOhoW-BX4AAEQLP

You know what, it happens. And? Move along. Yet….

Not only would Mr. Moose take to Twitter to proclaim: Miss of the Season, decade, century, how can any professional footballer miss this…. @nealmaupay18 Even I’d have scored this, embarrassing miss

He then followed it up with the boast that, “I’d be happy to go to @brentfordfc training ground this week, we can recreate the play, I’ll take Neal’s place and show him how to score in such a situation

Ok, Ian. We believe you. Let’s for one second pretend that you wouldn’t actually collapse just running out of the tunnel, such are the likely state of the half time and pre-match nosh up infused arteries. But then just say, and seriously  – it takes one almighty leap beyond the bounds of credibility (and that’s just too imagine finding a shirt that would stretch over the paunch, even Buzzette’s would be straining) that Mr Moose found himself in the position.

Would he have the lungs to still be standing? Would he have the wherewithal to see the net bulge? Would he even be able to kick a ball 10 yards in a straight line? It was a free shot, not a free buffet. Certainly, history suggests otherwise.

Please, Bees. Whilst I have no doubt we’ll treat his bullshit with the contempt it deserves, please don’t give this pathetic excuse for a professional any more of the oxygen of publicity he so clearly, and desperately, craves. Keep him away from Jersey Road.

I’ve bitten. Fair dues, I’m just the numpty on the terrace and a humble blogger. He’s an apparent professional whom one would hope to know better.

Then again, with West Ham rapidly heading towards the Championship , give it 8 months and he’ll be at Brentford for real. In the FA Cup, as the Bees tag team the Hammers in the league stakes.

Diary note: Neal’s birthday is 14 August. Just remember this for next season when Mr. Moose then attempts that toe curling , desperately sycophantic please-be-my-friend shtick of ‘Happy birthday to my good friend….’. A routine that seems more aligned with allowing the TalkSport jock another chance to share a photograph which, incredibly, reveals the fact that a journalist has met somebody he is interviewing.

Roll on Tuesday night and Burton Albion. Here’s to a Maupay hat-trick. Until then we’ll leave tonight’s ‘Last Word’ to Brentford Chief Executive Mark Devlin.

Nick Bruzon