Tag Archives: The Bees

Only two things on the agenda today – three points and a new shirt….

21 Sep

Hurry up 3pm. Brentford host Stoke City this afternoon, with everyone wanting to put the defeat at Preston behind us (2-0 last weekend) and get back to winning ways. Well, d’uh! Cliche alert and copy/paste your basic football soundbite by rote. Yet sometimes the simplest and most basic sentiments are the best and today is no exception. If any further morale boost were needed then it has come in the formal confirmation of the much touted Kurupt FM shirt – and then some. Not only is the limited edition top now available (we hope, still)  but next month’s home game against Bristol City sees a very special tie up. I’d go so far as to describe it as a crossover that hasn’t been bettered since Scooby Doo met Sonny and Cher.

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Come on Fred, don’t be so bashful

First up, Preston. We lost. They’re in the play-off zone and we’re six points off it. But the season is still early and still three games short of that magical point when the table can formally have been declared to have ‘taken shape’. Let’s just file that game under ‘Move along, nothing to see here’. The only other take away being that we got a look at the orange goalkeeper’s shirt in action. 

There’s been nothing on these pages since that game which is probably a good thing for all concerned. Instead, there’s been a bit of down time but now we’re set for the visit of Stoke City. Bottom of the league Stoke City. With the televised trip to fellow basement club Barnsley a week later, the next 8 days represent an excellent opportunity to push us into the upper reaches once the current nascent state of the league has become almost ‘fully formed’.

Will Thomas stick with the same or utilise the numbers at his disposal? He has pretty much the full squad available to him with the main question being when we get a look at front man Nikoloas Karelis. Brentford have looked magnificent going forward and the return of Said Benrahma has been a more than welcome one. Along with Bryan Mbuemo, who is finding his feet very quickly, Brentford haven’t been afraid to try their luck in front of goal. Even if the results have been mixed at times. Yet with the BBC telling us that Stoke have conceded the highest percentage of their shots faced (23.3%), could this be the game to try our luck from distance? It almost worked last weekend. 

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Benrahma – does everything. Even helping the fans with their ‘selfies’

Look, I’ve no idea which way Thomas is going to jump. We’re all full of conjecture but, for what its worth, I’d keep the same starting XI. When we’ve fired we’ve been imperious. Two wins out of the first seven isn’t prolific form but that can soon change. We were magnificent against Derby County last time out at Griffin Park and with Stoke struggling, I’m going to stick my neck on the block and say that I expect more of that form we saw against the Rams. Another game packed full of attacking intent from Brentford and another three points. The Potters have shipped 17 already, the leakiest defence in the Championship, and I wouldn’t be surprised if full time saw that figure take a further battering. Just bring on the afternoon when we get our chance to go for it.

The other news to put a spring in the step is that around the Kurupt FM shirt which Matthew Benham and his family first unveiled. It has finally been confirmed as being made available with all profits going to the Brentford FC Community Sports Trust. Even better though, Brentford ‘official’ have now revealed that the local stars will be joining us for the game at home to Bristol City as they takeover Griffin Park. Cripes. #BeeTheDJ could be very interesting….

You can read about it all on ‘official’ whilst, of course, don’t forget to pick your shirt up – assuming there are any left (at present the online store only has these remaining at either end of the size spectrum).  It promises to be special. Until then, though, here’s to Stoke City.  

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This really is happening

Nick Bruzon

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Bring it on! Championship action is back.

14 Sep

Preston boss Alex Neil faces a raft of injury concerns ahead of Brentford’s visit to Deepdale…… Not my words but those of the BBC big match preview this morning and, with the greatest respect to our hosts, great news for the travelling Bees. After the interminable wait through international break following the humping of Derby County – a period punctuated by the obvious results of double victory for England along with twin defeats for Gibraltar & Scotland (sorry, JJ) – we’re back to the important stuff. Championship action. And, as ever, I can’t wait.

There’s something quite special about that moment you wake up and, as the fog clears, realising that it’s a weekend. For most of us, there’s no mad rush to get ready for the school run. No stress of having to go to work for the day. No commuter hell to fight through just to face all manner of other challenges once you reach the office.

Instead, waking up can be done at leisure. Lie ins can be enjoyed – yours truly had the luxury of 7(seven)am today. Fantasy football teams can be prepared, BBC match previews read and blogs written. The morning can be eased in to. Until the mad rush to get ready for Harry’s football club begins. But it’s fun. It’s relaxing. Mrs B is asleep and H is yet to surface. A rare moment of stolen tranquility before the fun starts. 

And that’s all before train rides North and the proper action scan be served up where this afternoon we have Preston v Brentford as our dish of the day. I’m really excited about this one. We’ve already kicked last season’s away day blues in to touch with the win on the road at Middlesbrough. Last time out at Griffin Park was magnificent. Derby County were trounced in a game that saw us really unfortunate not to extend the 3-0 lead that had been built at half-time. 

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Raining (goals) last time out, against Derby County.

Brentford really were scintillating with the team looking solid at the back and irrepressible going forward. Wing back Sergi Canos a joy to behold. Bryan Mbuemo a new hero in the making. Ollie Watkins making centre-forward look more and more comfortable a role with each passing goal.

Then there was Saïd Benrahma – a player who seems to have a permanent smile on the face and one who has the ability to pass it on to the supporters, too. Words cannot say how pleased I am that we’ve retained the mercurial wide man. Consolidating our form and position over the next few months will be crucial to retaining his services, one would presume, as the top flight can only be his inevitable home. Fingers crossed it will be with Brentford.

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Just a few men of the moment. 

Getting ahead of ourselves, perhaps, but one needs to aim high. It’s part of being a football fan. One of the many reasons we come . The expectation. The hope. Yes, there’s the social side too. Something that is more prevalent on those wonderful away days we get to experience in the Champinship. “Why are you leaving at 9am” asks Mrs Bruzon, “when the game doesn’t kick off until 3?”. She is yet to experience playing away and so doesn’t understand that the 90 minutes of on-pitch time are often the least enjoyable of the day.It’s as much about meeting your friends sharing that train ride, discovering a new pub in a new town and ticking another stadium off the list. The football itself is another bonus added to a great day out with your mates. Especially when there’s a win at the end of this.

And today, Preston is the place. This one won’t be easy, despite their own apparent injury concerns. Even at this early stage in proceedings the Deepdale outfit find themselves separated from the play-off zone by nothing more than goal difference. It is a  position they will no doubt expect to consolidate after three wins out of three in the league (Stoke, Sheffield Wednesday and Wigan). Yet Brentford are no slouches. We’ve seen the team really start to find their feet as we adjust to the loss of Neal Maupay and the acquisitions of those new faces. Derby County was the quintessential demonstration that Thomas Frank has the tools at his disposal. How he uses them today will be key.

Thankfully, injury is not something that will trouble him. Whilst we had nobody on England duty (one day…one day), those who did represent their countries have come back healthy. And hopefully not too tired ! With England scoring goals for fun – and shipping them too – supporters went home happy after the victories over Bulgaria and Kosovo last week. We won’t overly dwell on Gibraltar v Denmark and Switzerland, where the ‘shipping’ was our main issue.

The point being that it was still enjoyable. But it was still England qualifying. A largely redundant exercise for those seeking a competitive edge given the size of the groups, the amounts of teams who can get through and the quality of those playing. Give me the Championship any day of the week. At least until the tournament proper kicks off in 2020.

Until then, here’s to Preston away. Enjoy…..

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Supporters enjoy watching England win at Wembley

Nick Bruzon

Near brackets, no Dalsgaard, shirt news and a Bee appears in France…

6 Sep

My word. Who’d be an actual journalist for a living at times like these? What do you talk about when there’s nothing to talk about? Apart from trawling Twitter or making rumours up. Thank goodness for the blogger’s ability to pick up, and put down, the keyboard as and when the feeling takes hold. To be able to play around with photoshop, on an ad-hoc basis,  just for the fun of doing so. Another International break symptomised this perfectly with last week’s humping of Derby County already feeling an eternity away. Instead,  primary focus in our house now being on Gibraltar. They restarted football proceedings for us last night and ended up one shy of a home bracketing against Denmark. It was a game which saw the World Cup’s Henrik Dalsgaard of Brentford start on the bench. England have their own run out on Saturday against, well I don’t even know being honest. Without checking. Looks at internet – Bulgaria.  It is the easiest qualifying system since records began in a tournament that it is practically impossible for any team with pretensions of ‘being any good’ not to make the final rounds. Even Scotland are still in with a chance at present. Mathematically.  Back on the club scene we’ve talk of the Kurupt FM Brentford away shirt aswell as an overseas appearance for our fan engagement office, Ryan Murrant, Plus the latest on The Last Word Fantasy Football tournament.

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Gibraltar packed their boots for another Euro qualifier…

First up, Euro 2020. Regular readers may be aware of the family connection that sees yours truly focus on Gibraltar whenever an International opportunity presents itself. As ever, the Sky Sports smudge button was pressed as the boys from the Rock had their latest run out on Thursday. That is, the Gibraltar first team rather than Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage although, to be honest the home side could have done with the aforementioned A-listers to break in to the Danish defence. 

Whilst any Bees fans tuning in for a look at Dalsgaard would have been disappointed by his absence, such was the impression made by visitors Denmark that even had he started, opportunities to see our man in action would have been slim to zero. An early goal against. A dubious penalty just after half time and it was game over. Well 6-0 saw it technically game over at full time but it was never really game on. There was to be no close run battle with illustrious visitors as had been seen when the Republic of Ireland came to play. Instead, dreams of another notch on the victor’s bed post will need to remain a dream. For now. 

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If only…

As for England, well of course we’ll be watching. The Griffin have the game on the big screen for those wanting to try and recreate that incredible World Cup atmosphere. Albeit, a group of five teams where the top two go through by default doesn’t have quite the same level of jeapordy as 2018’s penalty shoot out. But one can’t deny these occasions are always fun and, if nothing else, its always a great opportunity to get out at a time when we are starved of a Championship fixture. I really can’t see anything beyond an England win in this one. The days of the international surprise, at least in qualifying, are few and far between these days. As Gibraltar know too well. Perhaps Scotland will prove us wrong this evening. Stranger things have happened…..

The Griffin and England football – always awesome

With no on-pitch action at present, the major talking point at Griffin Park has been the much rumoured Kurupt FM take on the away shirt.

Screenshot 2019-09-06 at 16.28.48I took a wander past the club earlier this week and spoke to a very well connected source who suggested that a shirt is most definitely coming . And all being well, next month. 

This is cracking news and the line to pick these beauties up is sure to be a long one. Especially as I understand that we’ve already run out of adult M and L away shirts (albeit more are on order so stand by your metaphorical guns, Ecoworld fans).

Next up, Ryan Murrant. We all know about our Fan Engagement manager’s social media presence and his wonderful role at the club . About the gold award for Family Excellence given to Brentford last season. But what about the man himself?

Well, if you’d like to know more (to coin a phrase we’ve not used in a while) then how about this piece on French website ’fanstriker’ . It’s in depth and then some but paints a fascinating picture on behind the scenes life at Griffin Park. Enjoy…

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And finally, Fantasy Football. We’re now four weeks in to The Last Word FF league. Four rounds are down and only one player, Simon Burns, is left with a 100% record after the weekly head to head games. Remember, there’s a shirt for the winner so keep those transfers coming and those teams fresh.  

And if Ryan is reading, that’s fiftieth (50th) place so far for his own ‘Enter Team Name’. Remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint…..

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Nick Bruzon

Could THE shirt happen? Plus (another) Kingsley fantasy and loan updates.

3 Sep

That’s the decks cleared just a little bit. Monday saw several Brentford first and B-team players heading out on loan. Reece Cole to Partick Thistle, Marcus Forss goes down the road to AFC Wimbledon whilst Ellery Balcombe (Viborg FF) and Emiliano Marcondes (Midtjylland) are both spending some time in Denmark. Elsewhere, the identify of the mysterious ‘Trialist 89’ has been revealed by the club with the latest acquisiton to the B-team and do we have a very special new away shirt in the offing? 

First up, the out door. The news about Reece was broken by none other than Partick Thistle’s enigmatic mascot, Kingsley. At least, that’s how yours truly found out. Is there nothing he can’t do?

Presumably there was some sort of official story out there too but there’s no finer tweet than breaking transfer news being revealed by the pointy haired superstar. Forget Jim White and his own deadline day nonsense (and I wish we could after the shabby way they treated Bolton and Bury last week). 

If Sky are to persist with the yellow theme as transfer windows continue to ‘slam shut’, then who better than Kingsley to be at the forefront of that delivery? Well, Natalie Sawyer perhaps? Been there. Done that. Their and our loss. Sadly.

That said, one can only dream about what that partnership would look like come January should Sky elect to reverse their decision whilst also bin Jim for the true king of Yellow…  

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Now THIS would be the Deadline Day dream team

The news about Marcus was somewhat expected. Mainly because he had updated his own Twitter account to follow AFC Wimbledon prior to the official announcement. The good news here being that he has preceeded the move by signing a long term contract at Griffin Park / Lionel Road . The four year extension which will see him remain a big part of our plans, with Director of football Phil Giles telling official that “We hope that he will do a fantastic job for Wimbledon and then be ready to return to compete for a place in our first team, still with many more years to look forward to at Brentford.” 

The story, which you can read in full on ‘official’ is as noteworthy for the spanking new biro being used to sign the contract extension at the Jersey Road portacabin. The memory of Pontus and his half-chewed BIC one which will neither be forgotten nor replicated. Sadly.

That said, both Marcus and Reece are players with the potential for big futures at Brentford. Partick Thistle and Wimbledon are very much the beneficiaries and it will be interesting to see how both players fill their boots in the short term. Just as long as Reece doesn’t have his head turned by Kinglsey. Don’t forget about Buzzette. There’s no scarier sight than a mascot scorned. Just ask Mrs. Growler at Huddersfield (long story)…

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Nice pen

Elsewhere Ellery Balcombe, currently starved of first team opportunity with Luke Daniels keeping the bench warm, gets his chance in Denmark. Also joining him, although a step higher, is Emiliano Marcondes. The former, a player with so much potential and a current England U-21 whilst it would be fair to say that the later hasn’t, yet, delivered on the promise with which he arrived. A period at Brentford blighted by injury hasn’t given him the chance to show what we’ve been hoping for so here’s to some time away giving him the chance to demonstrate that promise.

Will any/ all four of these players return ? Who knows? Whilst one certainly hopes so, the sale of hot prospect Chiedozie Ogbene to Rotherham United proves there is no mercy. No room for passengers. The squads are being trimmed into a lean, mean football machine. Possibly. At the end of the day, Clive, I’m just the numpty on the terrace with more knowledge about kits than first team affairs.

And talking of which, with sledgehammer like unsubtly we make the short leap to the Brentford away shirt. Already a thing of beauty, it was further enhanced when Matthew Benham revealed the   Kurupt FM special variant. With the reaction to this reveal being universal popularity, rather than his people just doing nothing about this it seems that there is now the very real possibility of the kit becoming a reality. The GPG have announced on Twitter that, apparently, current sponsors Ecoworld have given their blessing for this new version to be released. Checks diary – not April 1st. 

One can only hope this is true. One can only hope we have the means to make this happen. Prepare to see these fly off the shelves if so. A masterpiece in the offing. Kitman Bob, if you are reading, you know what to do…….

The other shirt that is currently the hottest property in Griffin Park folklore is that belonging to the mysterious ‘Trialist 89’. He was announced to the world last week when scoring the second goal against the QPR U-23 team.

It was a strike which produced one of the greatest tweets used by Brentford official and a wonderful riposte to those standard goal scorer gif/meme things inflicted on us all by Bristol City. 

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Now Trialist 89 has been revealed to the world as left sided defender Aubrel Koutismouka who has signed a two year contract with the B-team. As ever, ‘official’ have the full story. Good look Aubrel and welcome to Griffin Park, young man.

Even if you will be forever ’89 in my eyes.

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Nick Bruzon

Thomas Frank’s Demolition Derby.

1 Sep

Well that was something else. Brentford tanked Derby County in a game that finished 3-0 and could easily have seen the scoreline double that. It really was as dominant a performance as one could hope for against a team who, back to full strength after their mid-week changes against Nottingham Forest in the cup (that worked well), offered nothing. Their manager Philip Cocu would afterwards accuse his team of ‘arrogance’. It looked more like impotence to me, with the Rams unable to penetrate as the Bees ran riot.

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Raining (goals) at Griffin Park

Brentford were boosted by the news that Saïd Benrahama was finally able to start a game. What a performance he put in. But then you could say the same for Bryan Mbuemo on the right and Sergi Canos coming from the wing back position. With Rico pushing high on the other side  it really was about as attacking a team one could expect to see. Topping it off was Ollie Watkins in centre forward role. Norgaard and Jenssen are becoming stronger and stronger in the middle whilst the final three of Jeanvier, Pontus and Dalsgaard were rock solid in the rare moments of the visitors breaking through. David Raya was in goal but it could have been David Bowie and we’d probably still have kept a clean sheet.

Mbuemo got the first on 17, after Watkins had been denied whilst the favour was returned just 60 second later. Ollie sliding home after a wonderful move. Mbuemo supplying the killer pass but don’t underestimate the work performed by Sergi Canos in either goal. He was magnificent. Devastating. Destructive. Left the Rams tied up in knots.

That it was only three at half time is a question to rank alongside where the Derby County of last season have gone. Back to their parent clubs from loans, perhaps ? Either way, there was no answer to the waves of relentless Brentford pressure. Ollie wrapped up the scoring before going in for his half-time cuppa but the Bees could equally have had a penalty after Keogh was adjudged not to have handballed it. Hmmm. Move along Derby, nothing to see here.

The second half continued as the first had ended. Bees on top. Derby nowhere. To be fair, they did have a shot but Raya had it covered. And that was it from the visitors. If anything Brentford could, probably should, have made it at least four. If not more. Mbuemo seemed clean through with the goal gaping although the benefit of hindsight and TV show the good work done by Roos in the County goal. Likewise, when Ollie found himself sprinting clear for the hat-trick chance. Keeper Roos came bouncing out of the box to chest it away.

The return of dancing Buzzette and Saïd had the crowd buzzing from the off. The enthusiasm was tangible. Whether Peter Gilham almost exploding as he announced the second goal through to Benrahama’s post-substitution long walk back to the dugouts, whipping up the home fans behind the goal to further heights of excitement. And there he was at full time once more, taking HB’s request for a selfie into something quite unexpected. The positivity coursing through the team a joy to behold. The relationship with the supporters as strong as ever.

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Saïd helps HB take the search for the perfect selfie to the next level.

Thomas Frank noted at full time that “The first 45 minutes is one of the best I have seen at Griffin Park since I have been here”. There can’t be any out there who would disagree. The second wasn’t bad either, although could never compare to the explosive opener. Had one of those other chances gone in then who knows what might have been. However, to be anything but happy with such a comprehensive win over opponents who came so close to reaching the top flight last time out would be churlish. County weren’t even at the races. Brentford, like a champion derby winner.

The month has ended with Brentford recording wins over Derby and up at Middlesbrough. I’m still bamboozled by the points dropped against Birmingham City whilst we were a lick of paint away from maintaining our recent domination of Leeds United. Ollie is looking more and more comfortable up top whilst I’m loving Bryan Mbuemo. Here’s hoping September picks up where August left off.

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Men of the moment. Sergi and Ollie needed for a full house

Nick Bruzon

A positive end to an awful week. Can we go one better today?

31 Aug

Normality returns today. Kind of. Brentford host Derby County at Griffin Park having reached the end of a week that saw Bury expelled from the football league and Bolton Wanderers narrowly avoid the same fate. We’ve updated TV news, with the 237 derby game at Loftus Road seeing us becoming a diet version of Sky Sports Leeds (that’s two appearances in as many months for us)  and there was the brilliance from Brentford ‘official’ on Twitter yesterday. Have they done their best ever tweet?

First up, the visit from Frank Lampard’s former club, Frank Lampard’s Derby County. Or just Derby County as we can thankfully call them once more. That really was getting tedious. Say what you want about the Rams but they came so close last time . There was the wonderful turn around against Leeds United as the Elland Road side fell apart, again, in the play-off semi before suffering the ultimate pain. They could only look on as John Terry lifted the winner’s trophy high into the Wembley sky and Aston Villa reached the Premiership.

That end of season agony has continued this time around. Whilst Leeds have picked themselves up and gone again, and Villa have now recorded their first top flight points under Dean Smith, things haven’t been quite so easy for Derby. Like the Bees, they’ve only picked up one win so far and that was against hapless Huddersfield Town. Both clubs find themselves in the bottom third of the fledgling table and will, obviously, be keen to record the win that sees things heading back up in the direction they are more accustomed to.

The news is positive. For Brentford. FloJo is set to miss out for out guests, as does Bogle. We’ve the potential return of Said Benrahma to the starting XI whilst there’s a chance for our first look at new striker Nikoloas Karelis. He looks an absolute unit – and that’s just from the picture on the squad page – so it will be interesting to see how he fits in as the meat in the sandwich of our always impressive wide men.

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Karelis – the meat in a wide man sandwich

Even better though, word on the street reaches me that Buzzette is set to return. Whilst, of course, she has been present this season it is just that. Being present. The normal spring in the step and enthusiastic dancing have been somewhat lacking. With it, the team’s fortunes have been on the down turn. Has she been carrying an undisclosed injury? Perhaps struggling with a protracted summer holiday? Either way, I gather her coach has had a word, she’s been declared fully fit and back to normal so we can once more expect to see her busting those inspirational moves, throwing shapes and doing whatever else it is the kids do as the discotheque.

Away from Griffin Park, I’m at a loss for what to say about the Bury / Bolton situation. From the impotent handling of matters by the EFL through to their apparent willingness to let one our our oldest clubs go to the wall, it has been heartbreaking. Gigg Lane was the first away ground I visited, back in the 80s, and was a journey I always looked to make whenever possible. Seeing this play out has been agonising.

I’m just an onlooker – once can’t begin to even imagine the pain that their supporters and staff are going through right now. It’s shameful that it was allowed to get this far and then play out in such a crushing denouement. All we’ve been left with is a dead club and the footballing equivalent of Donald Trump offering ‘thoughts and prayers’ after a mass shooting.

The only positives, if there can be any, from this shameful situation are that, at least, Bolton are still with us. That does then lead to whole host of further questions to the EFL as to how one club can be given a further extension but not the other. And it is where we get the other news, which I read this morning. Bury aren’t giving up and there is an interesting piece on the BBC in regards to potential legal action, given the way that the final nail was driven into their coffin. There is talk of additional bids being ignored, amongst other things. It is well worth a read and can be found here.

The whole situation is all the more ironic given the amounts of money being pumped into the higher level of the game by Sky, amongst others. Their own decision to rebrand an articifical ‘deadline day’ with ticking countdown clock was a shameful one and , rightly, came in for criticism from all quarters. Dignity? Respect? Who needs them when there’s a joke angle that can be had at the expense of people’s livelihoods and a club’s very existence? 

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Stay classy, Sky.

And now they’ve gone and picked us for TV. We’re already on at Barnsley in late September. Make that twice in successive months with the rematch against Mark Warburton, Yoann Barnet and QPR has been moved to Monday 28 October. You can understand why. Any history aside, there are sure to be goals in this now with Barbet currently shipping penalties for fun this season. His ‘go again’ key getting a right hammering at present. Although knowing us, it’ll be the fans in the upper tier returning any spot kick rather than the not so super-hoops’ goalkeeper ! Come on lads, prove me wrong.    

There was a positive end to the week. At least on social media where ‘official’ are definitely finding their feet after the never forgotten shame of #trophyfriends. Friday’s 4-1 humping of QPR in a U-23 game was most notable for our second goal. The prolific A. Trialist, a player who has had more clubs than former Bee Steve Claridge, popped up to head home from Ali Coote. This, in a move which began form a short corner (not a typo).     

So it was all the better when ‘official’ got in on the act, with one of those goal gifs/memes ( I never know which is which) made popular by Bristol City. Who needs comedy acting when you have comedy word kits. Magnificent. I want one.

Great work all round. See you in the club shop at lunchtime. 

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A Trialist. From a short corner. What’s not to love?

Nick Bruzon

The top 12 ‘search terms’ lead to an awkward repeat of past form.

27 Aug

The calm between the storms. Brentford have been and done with the game at Charlton Athletic. The visit of Derby County awaits. I’m not going to deny that Sunday saw somewhat of a cop out in regards to the blog – albeit I stand by what I did. Sometimes, less is more and one can only hope that is the approach taken this coming weekend. Having all the possession and chances counts for nothing if we can’t quite do the business in the final section of the pitch. Something that I am sure will be put right when we receive our latest visit from Frank Lampa….. sorry, old habits die hard.

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Being John Frankovich  – no longer a thing 

But with a lazy approach to the weekend review and nothing really happening on bank holiday Monday (from a footballing perspective), that Derby game seems a long way off. On the plus side, it has allowed a chance to play around with the backend static data on these pages. This is territory we visited back in the very early days of this site. So early that  Uwe Rosler was still in charge at the time. 

Screenshot 2019-08-26 at 21.30.58It was a chance to look at the search terms used by the Internet ( I can take no credit for that side of things) to drive people to one of these articles.

Phrases that, when typed into AOL (Ah, Connie – whatever happened to you and your interactive dress?), Google or Ask Jeeves would then suggest that there may be a relevant article on these pages. Or an interesting one. Your definition of both may, of course, vary.

Yet whilst proving a great source of data, these ‘search terms’ also reveal that there are some people out there with a very niche set of preferences. And that the combination of seemingly innocent key words used in the context of a football blog may be less than innocent when typed in by the (probably) sticky fingers of cyber nerds.

People have ventured here whilst looking for everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. Some of them Brentford related. Some of them not. Amongst other things, these include:

sex pies

Frank Mcparland milk

Sam Warburton naked

Sam Saunders rubber glove

Dickie Davies Asahi beer

Helen Chamberlain leather

Barry Hearn Chuckle brothers

How much is Matthew Benham worth

Harlee Dean fishslapping

Buzzette snapchat

Feet pictures

And my particular favourite : Nick Prochwitz tattoo. 

The mind boggles as to whether that was somebody looking to get one or simply checking out the player’s own bodywork . Either way, not good. 

Sam and Dickie. Both have been pictured over the years

Yet whilst looking through these search terms, one in particular caught my eye. Super Victor. In an instant I was taken back three and a bit years to a piece written at the start of the Euro 2016 football tournament and UEFA’s chosen mascot. He of the aforementioned name. Something particularly pertinent given the recent piece about the 2020 equivalent, and it still hurts to say this….…. ‘Skillzy’. Urghh. Feel so dirty.

If the top knotted friend of the children is bad, and he/she/it IS, then it’s nothing compared to the accident that was Super Victor. In more ways than one. You’d think UEFA would learn and hark back to the simpler days of Sweden 1992’s ‘Rabbit’.

Ironically, one so popular he was ported over directly from the previous tournament in 1988 – the only time a mascot has appeared twice. But no, instead of a reproducing rabbit they went for Super Victor. And by the time he had been plastered all over the 2016 tournament, it was too late.

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(l-r) Rabbit 1988/92 ; Super Victor 2016 ; ‘Skillzy’ 2020

Only then was it discovered that he shared his name with what was tactfully described as a 5.5kg, 10 inch long ‘industrial sized’ marital aid. People checking out the story at the time were advised not to look up ‘Super Victor Toy’ or visit online adult ‘shopping sites’. Please don’t do it now. I did, for research purposes, and have had to delete my history.

Connie and Jeeves would likely have gone into meltdown whilst nobody wanted any embarrassing incidents in the name of research. The Guardian were amongst those who lead the story back then. They also quoted a source from UEFA who advised, “All we can say is that they [the sex aids] are not produced by Uefa.

Given Braemar Road JJ had broken the whole ‘Skillzy’ story, I felt duty bound to return the favour last night and introduce him to Super Victor. NOT like that. Get your minds out of the gutter. His own take was as special as last time: 

 That mascot really is taking a shocker but, mate- if there’s anything even more wrong than a mashup between Corey out of Slipknot and something from Japanese Kabuki theatre, it’s a six year old with a serious coke habit…

And, as ever, I can’t top that. JJ – here are the keys to the Last Word site. Over to you sir…

Nick Bruzon

An afternoon of domination but….

25 Aug

Charlton Athletic 1 Brentford 0. What I want to say after this one isn’t printable at present. Besides, those same thoughts have already been penned this morning for the match day programme ahead of Derby County visiting on Saturday. Albeit less sweary….!

It was more a case of striking when the opportunity presented itself. And since nobody wants duplication – least of all the editor – this is your lot for today. Pick up the magazine should you somehow have any interest in yours truly’s opinion on this result and the broader situation.

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Not my words…. etc etc

 

We’ve all seen it now, anyway.  Over two and a half thousand travelling to The Valley by boat, tube and other means. And if not, the EFL highlights are here.

Very much a case of Shoulda Woulda Coulda at the death. Oh well. At least it gives an easy option if anyone is playing #BeeTheDJ at the Derby game.

Catch the action

If anyone fancies being the DJ..

Nick Bruzon

 

Match Of The Day scandal ruins transfer news.

23 Aug

“Mate I’m scandalised…” Not my words but those of Brentford supporter JJ (he of the goal inducing dodgy bladder from the Ealing Road) that reached me last night via the medium of text message. They are words that should unite supporters of every club from West Bromwich Albion and Arsenal to Partick Thistle, Forfar Athletic and beyond. Words which even eclipsed our own news about the signing of striker Nikos Karelis. All this, after reading an article in his son Felix’s copy of BBC Match Of The Day Magazine.

Large-1

Nikos. Blown away by a scandal from Lineker et al

Mrs. Browns Boys. Made up coffee words – where I gather Star*ucks have now added Trenta to their ‘made up words‘ size range that also includes ‘Tall’ (small, obviously), ‘Grande’ and ‘Venti’. Team GB. Bernie Clifton or, rather, his tinpot England ‘supporters’ ‘band’. Polls about ‘Best Bond’ which have Roger Moore anywhere except number one. Espresso spelt or pronounced Expresso. The world’s weakest joke: Star Wars Day (the one between May the third and May the fifth – aka the fourth of May in our house) etc etc etc. Regular readers – should such a concept somehow exist – know the drill.

There are few things in life which annoy me as much as any of these. Yet Match Of The Day magazine may have just joined the list. Specifically in the latest edition of their publication which included a ‘Best Mascot’ feature.

There was no Buzzette. Anywhere. Gunnersaurus, the Arsenal thing, was absent despite winning the recent World Cup of football mascots. Somehow. West Brom’s Boilerman was conspicuous by his absence. Perennial favourite Kingsley of Partick Thistle was there, although somehow languishing in third place. I’ll let JJ pick up the rest of the analysis with a direct copy paste…

buzzette-and-kinglsey

Buzzette – absent. Kingsley – booted into Bronze medal position

JJ: Mate I’m scandalised to see that in Match of the Day magazine the force of nature that is Kingsley is only down at number three for their Mascot of the Year, merely one place above the utter atrocity that is the Euro 2020 effort, ahem, “Skillzy” (take my word for it mate, don’t even look the bastard up…). Not only that but I see that at number one is Wigan’s own Crusty the Pie- all well and good but I hate to break it to the chattering classes fawning over this “ironic and kitsch” dough based hero but Forfar Athletic’s “Baxter the Bridie” beat him to it by several years… 

As regards (shudder…) “Skillzy” I reckon the whole situation can be summed up in three words-anodyne..corporate..wank. Case rests m’lud… Rant over…

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Baxter – Noooooooooo

Despite the advice not to, I’ve looked up Skillzy…..

It’s true. Everything JJ says and more. Bad enough that the mascot looks like a cross-eyed serial killer wearing a dead skin mask made from the face of one of his victims. Yet the most heinous of his crimes being use of the extraneous ‘z’ in…’Skillzy’.  Oh, and the top knot. It is a level of bland self-indulgence previously only enjoyed by the aforementioned coffee company. (Large will be fine, thank you). 

Crusty is good, to be fair, but for this new kid on the block to shoot straight in at number is symptomatic of today’s ‘quick fix’ society. Instant gratification syndrome. What a terrible example for any young children who may be reading. Granted, the target audience of the offending publication.

The likes of Buzzette, Kingsley and long established Gunnersaurus have put in all manner of hard yards over the years only to be dismissed in a heartbeat. I must admit to not being overly familiar with Baxter but am sure that Forfar fans will be as frustrated as I am this morning. Possibly.

And, on other news,Brentford official were pleased to say  #WelcomeNikos yesterday. A one year deal has been signed with the option of a second season. Could he be the final piece in the jigsaw? Roll on Saturday’s trip to Charlton where we find out. I’d love to talk more about his but , to quote JJ, “I’m scandalised” by the whole mascot thing.

Now, does anybody have a phone number for The Daily Mail….?

p074kbyv

Skill’z’y – appearing on a ‘Wanted’ poster soon

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

It would be fair to say that things are never dull.

20 Aug

Brentford travel to Elland Road on Wednesday evening for a game that is sure to be played out against a rich backdrop of recent history. Even if it is one in which the main protagonists have both since moved on. Neal Maupay has left Brentford for Brighton. Pontus Jansson has left Leeds United for the Bees. The question is now one of whether we can continue our fine record against Marcelo Bielsa and his boys. A record which saw us moments away from picking up two wins last season but, instead, having to be content with a ‘mere’ four power points following the late, late equaliser scored by Jansson back in October.

History is history, of course. Yet it does present an interesting, if brief, retrospective. We demolished Leeds at Griffin Park to railroad their rapidly diminishing promotion chances. To borrow a line from the song at the time. “Leeds. Leeds are falling apart. Again.”  We almost picked up the win on our travels, but for that 88th minute goal. There was the penalty (definite), the celebrations, both of them, from Neal Maupay. The post match reaction of Pontus himself which saw the player charged by the FA  (as were the club , home supporters throwing objects at our number 9) after accusing the referee of ‘robbery’ and saying on live TV that the result felt a bit ‘shit’.  There was even that wonderful talk of conspiracy as United’s seemingly unstoppable start to the season began to hit the buffers. Copy. Paste. Return.

Yes, it would be fair to say that things are never dull when our teams meet.

But whilst history is nice, and it is, things move on. Past form is not a guarantee of current performance. Leeds United have started like a runaway train – as they always seem to do – topping the nascent table after three games and 7(seven) points. Only Charlton can match them, even if Brentford sit just 3 points behind. There’s no way Leeds will choke it again, is there…..?

Well, looking at the immediate short term i.e this fixture, the bookies have the home side as 3/5 odds on favourites with Thomas Frank’s team out there on 4/1 to pick up the points. Whether that form and that favouritism continues throughout the campaign depends on when Leeds decide to start treading on their annual potato skin. As a general observation, August is far too early for that to happen. Especially when they are up against, and score a point for each of these you see on Wednesday: tinpot Brentford, teams like Brentford, pub side, little club…..  

I would say this does also seem the exception to the rule these days. I’d also say that when we’ve hit the early peaks this season we have looked sublime. Consistency is , of course, the key for Thomas. The first half against Birmingham and the denouement of the Hull City game were both magnificent. We perhaps rode our luck a tad up at Middlesbrough, at least in the opening period, but took a wonderful three points in the end.

Ollie and Sergi have both started at 100mph. Pontus looks imperious at the back. The midfield is developing solidity and then there’s Benrahma. The fleet footed Algerian wing-wizard is back. I can’t expect him to start on Wednesday, it’s been too long, but the brief cameo afforded to supporters at the weekend had the fans leaving Griffin Park with spirits high. More of the same would do very nicely, thank you.

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Pontus – now a Bee.

The other question, team selection aside, is just who can travel to this one? With adult tickets at £37 in advance and no trains home after full time, this promises to be a costly exercise. With Sky TV continuing their red button coverage for midweek fixtures there is an understandable alternative. Yet it is a game which promises to be a real treat for those fortunate enough to be travelling. I can’t even pretend to be amongst their ranks this time out. Sadly. Hats off to those who have found the time and the finances to make this a viable prospect. 

And those who have should read the away travel guide on ‘official’ . Whilst, normally, it isn’t one that troubles the statisticians I have had a look this morning to see if the £42 ‘pay on the day’ option is available. Not, it seems. But what I did discover was the wonderful dead pan line:  Finding Drysalters requires fans to pass the Old Peacock pub, a staunch home supporters’ pub, which is not recommended for travelling support.

Good luck with that. Good luck everyone. Especially to Thomas Frank and the team. It won’t be easy but it will be fun. And I can’t wait. Even if this time it is from the comfort of the sofa.

Nick Bruzon