You can shove your clackers where the sun don’t shine.

14 Dec

This is it. Show me somebody that says Brentford v Fulham is an irrelevance and I’ll show you somebody who is pointless. I absolutely LOVE this fixture. Forget the fact that a Bees win will see us overtake the currently third placed Cottagers, there is no bigger priority than victory and local bragging rights. Again. Yes, I’d love the chance to make ground on the teams in the play-off pack and even at the top, where Leeds United are yet to start their customary collapse and West Bromwich Albion are matching them point for point. But, for once, they are very much second place in the importance stakes. A supplementary bonus that will come should we make it another three points at Griffin Park.

View from the stand - Stuart Dallas celebrates doing that thing.....

Stuart Dallas – one of THE Brentford moments

Jota in the last minute. Neal Maupay getting that late, late equaliser at the Cottage. Stuart Dallas scoring my favourite ever goal. The one that came just before our third and fourth in the absolute hammering administered in our neighbours’ back yard. The reaction to all those goals in the face of such sterile awfulness making them all the sweeter. The rivalry with QPR is as much one based on their sheer awfulness. With Fulham, it’s as much pity. A club more toe-curling than a pair of Ali Bongo’s slippers yet one which, whilst it feels like we’re a cat toying with a spider, I take no greater pleasure in beating.

Take you gin bar. Your statue. Your neutral stand. Your foam fingers. Your away game cake. Your clackers. Your run out music for the warm up. If you want irrelevance then there it is. That’s not football. That’s nonsense. Anodyne happy-clappy crud from a club with pretensions of grandeur yet, despite only having three sides of their stadium available, are currently having to advertise on local radio in a bid to entice supporters to their Christmas futures. For the record, Griffin Park is sold out.

That’s the tub-thumping and chest beating done. The simple facts of this game are that Brentford are on fire. Scoring goals for fun and looking rock solid at the back. Thomas Frank has the team more than up for it. Ollie Watkins is breathing down the neck of Aleksander Mitrovic at the top of the Championship goal scorers chart. Pontus, Pinnock and Jeanvier (not a law firm) proving on Wednesday night that, sometimes, three into two does go. A late switch in the defence sufficient to lock out the waves of Cardiff pressure as Brentford climbed to 7th in the table.

One does have to take notice of the position Fulham are in. Third doesn’t happen by accident and, despite their absolute car-crash of a campaign last season, they have started to score goals and pick up the points once more. Or, should that be, had started to pick up the points once more. Back to back defeats have seen them wobble, allowing Leeds and West Brom to break clear whilst the chasing pack have caught right up. Breathing down the victor’s neck to a position where only four points separate them from QPR in 12th. No pressure, eh?

Logic and common sense go out of the window at this stage. Whilst we’d normally take a common sense and considered opinion on these pages, it’s a West London derby. A mere five and a half miles separate our two clubs if you were to drive. That’s less as the crow flies but involves swimming. Only Loftus Road is closer to Griffin Park and you can be sure that the Fulham fans will be here en-masse. Perhaps we’ll even hear them. Stranger things have happened. 

Thomas Frank. If you are reading (you aren’t) get Peter Gilham in there changing room pre kick-off. Let him give your team talk. Let’s do this. I can’t wait. See you there…..

Jota Fulham last minute

No caption needed

Nick Bruzon

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3 Responses to “You can shove your clackers where the sun don’t shine.”

  1. aussiebee53 December 14, 2019 at 9:04 am #

    Entertaining as usual Nick. Does your knowledge of Ricky Gervais’s ‘ The Office’ match that of Mrs Browns Boys ? if so do you know if the oft mentioned never seen ‘Monkey Alan’ was based on a real person. If so I think I went to school with him briefly in 1968. He was a Fulham and Johnnie Haynes supporter .If it is him he would warrant a mention in @lordloucan.s post match tweet

  2. HerzyBee December 14, 2019 at 10:48 am #

    Ah yes Nick…. great memories of this fixture…..especially 3rd April ‘14 when, not only was it IMHO, the best away performance from a Bees side I have ever seen…..but we conducted the BFC ‘Goal of the Season’ competition at The River Rats HQ………and didn’t a naughty author once sneak an article into a programme?

    • nickbruzon December 14, 2019 at 11:43 am #

      Thank you. Oh, that goal of the season comp. How good was it? What an incredible afternoon. AS for sneaking something into the programme…. let’s just say that you may want to pick up a copy of today’s Matchday magazine……

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