Who has the best ever Bees moustache? Who is this year’s new entrant?

With Brentford now having a few days to wait until  we resume Championship action with Friday’s night’s TV game against Fulham, there’s time to look at a few things from the archives. Specifically with a top ‘XI’ that is a blatant rip off of a column published two years ago (albeit with one new entrant). Yet I make no apologies as it is for a great cause.

Today, November 1st, sees the beginning of the Movember campaign. Men in your place of work, your home or even Griffin Park will be undertaking that toughest of challenges – growing a moustache. Some will carry it off with all the prowess of flamboyant Queen frontman Freddie Mercury or Tom Selleck in his Magnum heyday; many will end up with barely perceptible wisps. Often, at a totally different colour to the hair on their head. Yet whatever the results, it is all being done to raise funds and awareness about men’s health – primarily the battles against testicular and prostate cancer.

Somebody near you will be engaged in this challenge and so, please, don’t look on them with scorn or disdain. Instead, why not dig deep? Nobody grows a moustache on purpose…

Yet this wasn’t always the way. Looking through the historical archives shows us how common a practice this once was at Brentford. With many people taking up Movember’s  charitable baton, what better way to recognise their forthcoming battle with bum fluff than by reviewing the top ten of moustaches sported by Brentford players through the ages.

This is a totally non-scientific study based on nothing more than personal opinion of moustache quality rather than playing ability. And so with apologies to any noticeable omissions, let’s kick things off….

10 – Roger Stanislaus. The classy left back opted for an equally classy moustache. It takes a brave man to try and carry this off but Roger did it with ease.

Forget ‘what happened next’. Remember the class

9 – Andy Ansah. These days better known for his wonderful Tekkers, in his youth Andy was as famed for his pace as he was for this effort.

Ansah – always displayed wonderful tekkers

8 – Steve Phillips. Was the goal machine from the late 70’s a possible inspiration on none other than Gary Blissett ten years later? Note the similarity in strike rates and facial hair.

The original Gary Blissett?

7 – John Smeulders. The first of three goalkeepers to make the list. Despite only a handful of appearances, his name lives on forever in the pantheon of mustachioed Bees legends.

Smeulders – played with style

6 – Gary Phillips. Another goalkeeper and another quality moustache. Little evidence of this, at least in Brentford colours, exists on the Internet. However, once seen it was never forgotten. Mercuryesque.

a photo as fuzzy as his moustache

5 – Chris Kamara. Like Andy Ansah, Chris is as well known these days for his TV work. But Chris also displayed unceasing loyalty to his moustache – something that continued throughout his playing career and can still be seen this very day. An unbelievable effort.

Unbelievable, Jeff

4 – Gordon Phillips. Was it compulsory to go for the Tom Selleck look if you played for Brentford and were a Phillips? Our third goalkeeper and third player to carry that surname, Gordon is easily the best of that group – moreso as he offsets this with a fantastic pair of sideburns.

Clean sheets but not clean shaven. Wonderful

3 – Gary Blissett. A goalscoring hero to many. A moustache icon to more. How many players can say they sealed a Championship, knocked their beloved Manchester City out of the FA Cup and even ended up in goal a few times – all despite the extra pressure of maintaining finely groomed facial hair? Seen here with former Bees commercial manager, Matt Davis.

Bliss – a hero to many. Then and now

2 – Wayne Turner. Sometimes words are not enough. Just let the picture do the talking.

Move over Terry Thomas

1 – Gordon Sweetzer. I wasn’t fortunate enough to remember seeing Gordon play and so I take a quote from Andy McCulloch to describe his on pitch personality:

““Gordon, now he would go through a brick wall. He was just crazy. He got terribly injured at times. He was a bit like me in a way – he went for things he shouldn’t have. Probably should have stepped back but you can’t with that sort of desire”.

Imagine, as a defender, that bearing down on you but with the added quality of Brentford’s best ever moustache. Absolute class.

Sorry Bliss, Chris and Wayne. Beaten by a worthy champion

Before we go, any football team needs 11 players.  Whilst he may not have made it into the top ten, there is one man at the club who transcends all style. Who has shown over the years that the moustache is still a tradition (albeit a lot less prevalent) which can be carried off by today’s modern players.

At 11, rather than his traditional 7(seven) none other than Sam Saunders.

Just imagine finding this in your Panini stickers 

 

And if anybody  would like to find out more about this year’s Movember campaign or even participate then you can do so here.

Nick Bruzon

Has Warbs done enough? Or will Mick scoop the honour?

All being well, the winner of the November ‘Manager of the Month’ awards will be announced within the next few days. Looking at the Championship table, it seems to be a straight shoot out between Mick McCarthy at Ipswich Town and Brentford’s Mark Warburton.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Ansah, Kamara, Bliss. Who has the best ever Bees moustache?

With Brentford now having the best part of two weeks off until we resume League Action against Fulham, it’s time to look at a few things from the archives. And with many people taking up the charitable baton offered this November, or should I say Movember, what better way to recognise it than by reviewing the top ten of moustaches sported by Brentford players through the ages.

This is a totally non-scientific study based on nothing more than personal opinion of moustache quality rather than playing ability. And so with apologies to any noticeable omissions, let’s kick things off….

10 – Roger Stanislaus. The classy left back opted for an equally classy moustache. It takes a brave man to try and carry this off but Roger did it with ease.

Forget ‘what happened next’. Remember the class

9 – Andy Ansah. These days better known for his wonderful Tekkers, in his youth Andy was as famed for his pace as he was for this effort.

Ansah – always displayed wonderful Tekkers

8 – Steve Phillips. Was the goal machine from the late 70’s a possible inspiration on none other than Gary Blissett ten years later? Note the similarity in strike rates and facial hair.

The original Gary Blissett?

7 – John Smeulders. The first of three goalkeepers to make the list. Despite only a handful of appearances, his name lives on forever in the pantheon of mustachioed Bees legends.

Smeulders – played with style

6 – Gary Phillips. Another goalkeeper and another quality moustache. Little evidence of this, at least in Brentford colours, exists on the Internet. However, once seen it was never forgotten. Mercuryesque.

A photo as fuzzy as his moustache

5 – Chris Kamara. Like Andy Ansah, Chris is as well known these days for his TV work. But Chris also displayed unceasing loyalty to his moustache – something that continued throughout his playing career and can still be seen this very day. An unbelievable effort.

Unbelievable, Jeff

4 – Gordon Phillips. Was it compulsory to go for the Tom Selleck look if you played for Brentford and were a Phillips? Our third goalkeeper and third player to carry that surname, Gordon is easily the best of that group – moreso as he offsets this with a fantastic pair of sideburns.

Clean sheets but not clean shaven. Wonderful

3 – Gary Blissett. A goalscoring hero to many. A moustache icon to more. How many players can say they sealed a Championship, knocked their beloved Manchester City out of the FA Cup and even ended up in goal a few times – all despite the extra pressure of maintaining finely groomed facial hair? Seen here with Bees supporter and one time Bees commercial manager Matt Davis.

The goal scoring legend never changed his style

2 – Wayne Turner. Sometimes words are not enough. Just let the picture do the talking.

Move over Terry Thomas

1 – Gordon Sweetzer. I wasn’t fortunate enough to remember seeing Gordon play and so I take a quote from Andy McCulloch to describe his on pitch personality:

““Gordon, now he would go through a brick wall. He was just crazy. He got terribly injured at times. He was a bit like me in a way – he went for things he shouldn’t have. Probably should have stepped back but you can’t with that sort of desire”.

Imagine, as a defender, that bearing down on you but with the added quality of Brentford’s best ever moustache. Absolute class.

Sorry Bliss, Chris and Wayne. Beaten by a worthy champion

It wouldn’t be a full football team without eleven players and so I’ll reach out to the terraces for our bonus addition. But before I do, if anybody is feeling generous and would like to donate to this year’s Movember campaign (raising funds to fight prostate and testicular cancer) then you can do so here.

Any sized donation would be gratefully accepted and help keep yours truly out of the dog house, where my own attempt to join this elite group is becoming somewhat of an embarrassment.

Face of the fans – Glenn Joyce. Glenn is a familiar face around Griffin Park – and as much for his ongoing devotion to facial hair. Pictured here with Terry Evans, the man mountain may stand head and shoulders above him but not when it comes to moustache growth.

Terry is in good company

 

 

Psycho killers. Bees run, run, run away with it.

Brentford picked up where they left off on Saturday with another fine win over East Midlands opposition. Nottingham Forest were put to the sword in even more emphatic style than local rivals Derby County had been at the weekend.

For those fortunate enough to travel, there was plenty to celebrate.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

The best way to prepare for Forest – goals, goals, goals

Brentford travel to Nottingham Forest tonight, knowing victory will see us overtake the one-time Championship leaders. With Forest not winning a game since they humiliated Fulham 5-3 back in late September, the Bees have every right to be optimistic.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Tangerine dream becomes a Halloween nightmare.

You have to feel for Blackpool supporters. With chairman Karl Oyston doing his best to make friends and influence people, the visit of play off chasing Ipswich Town on Saturday coincided with the arrival of new manager, Lee Clark. And where new managers and controversial owners go, Clem from the Football League show is sure to follow.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

The ultimate game of two halves as Rams, raided

What. A. Game ! Brentford took a deserved three points as a stunning second half performance saw them run out 2-1 winners over Championship leaders Derby County. Steve McClaren’s Rams were blown away like an umbrella caught in a hurricane as the Bees recorded victory after an emphatic team performance.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

Movember, Noclember. Brentford and Derby await Halloween clash

The clocks have changed which means the Football League have now switched their balls and, until March, we’ll be using the ‘Mitre Delta V12S Fluo’. Or, in layman’s terms, a yellow one.

To read the rest of this article, season 2014/15 is now available to download onto Kindle (and other electronic reading device) in full. Containing additional material and even some (poor) editing, you can get it here for less than the cost of a Griffin Park matchday programme or Balti Pie.

 Thanks for reading and all your comments over the course of the season. For now, I need to make more space on the site for any follow up. However, ‘close season’ will continue in full, further along.

It’s only obvious if you know the answer. Thank you, Mr Benham

“Obvious clue”. Not my words but those of Brentford owner Matthew Benham on Sunday night as he dropped another of his cryptic hints as to who would be joining the Bees yesterday.

In the end, the video of Bob Dylan’s Wigwam was neither Bob Booker (as suggested by Luis Adriano) or Patrick Bamford as, finally, it seemed I may have unravelled one of these. But no, instead my guess merely unearthed Dusty Bin once more as a Hogan transpired to also be a Navajo dwelling.

Not Patrick Bamford but a Navjo hut

There’s more chance of Brentford winning the FA Cup than me getting one of these clues. Not that I’m complaining. Matthew’s continued investments, in quality, are a stunning thing to behold. When the only problem we seem to have is the inability to solve a riddle, then things must be good.

That said, I wouldn’t mind if he could make them a tad easier. Frankly, Matthew could come out and say, “We are signing Marcello Trotta” and I’d probably translate that to Tommy Smith becoming a Bee.

Although, to be fair, we are yet to pick up that ‘experienced pro’ that sides entering the Championship always seem to do – see also England International Kenny Sansom, 92-93.

So instead it IS Scott Hogan, as all the ‘unofficial’ clues were suggesting may be the case on Sunday, who has joined Brentford. Matthew retains his place as Brentford’s own Ted Rogers and Patrick remains a Chelsea player.

And what a signing Scott promises to be. Whilst you can read the full ‘Hogan’ fact file on the clubsite, for me, the telling facts are a PFA ‘team of the year’ selection and 17 goals in 33 league games last season. Of course, previous stats don’t guarantee a glut of goals (see also: Northern Ireland International Will Grigg) but the team seems set up to provide even more attacking options than ever before.

You can get your first look at Scott tonight, with the Bees due to travel to Barnet, against whom Warbs has promised he will be given a run out. And if you can’t make it, don’t forget there is live coverage on Beesplayer where you could also contemplate more intriguing questions:

Given the club’s ability for picking out young talent, just how good can Scott be?

When will  Mark Burridge & co first use the ‘Hogan’s heroes’ line or reference to WWE’s ‘Hulk’ ? (my guess, by 7.10pm tonight)

And, most importantly, assuming Hogan lives up to his promise, which member of club staff will attempt to grow the wrestler’s trademark blonde handlebar for Movember?

The chief executive? The programme editor? Mr Style? Or a fellow new boy?

Stranger things have happened – the artist’s impression (nobody has done it for real, yet… is below)

And if you can’t wait for the new season, why not catch up on the last one? ‘Celebrating like they’d won the FA Cup…..’ (The story of Brentford’s 2013/14 promotion campaign, amongst other football related chatter) – is now available as a digital book. Featuring the best of the not so bad columns from last season, and some new content, you can download it here for your kindle / digital device.

Will anybody from the club go ‘Full Hogan” this November??